Need You Now

AN 1: A oneshot about Emily and JJ, set sometime after season 7, but not in a particular area of season 8. I must confess I found it harder to keep up with the show after my favorite character left. In this story, there is no Will and no Henry, for as much as I adore Henry, I really don't like JJ and Will together. I suppose this means I like the "lost causes" of Criminal Minds. Go figure. This story was inspired by Lady Antebellum's song Need You Now. Anyways, I hope it's enjoyed by someone. I own neither the characters nor the song lyrics that are quoted. If I did own CM, then these two would definitely be together.

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor

Reachin' for the phone, 'cause I can't hide it anymore

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me it happens all the time

JJ's POV:

I sat with my back against the wall, pictures scattered all around me. I picked up the half-filled glass of scotch that was sitting next to me and contemplated taking a drink before setting it down again. Drinking wasn't really going to solve my problems. I knew that. But it sure would take away the pain my body and mind were experiencing at the moment, which is why I had it with me in the first place. My phone was perched on my leg, and I tapped my fingers against it rhythmically, debating whether or not I wanted to make the phone call that I had been debating to make all evening. As I sat I picked up a picture, my thoughts turning to the dark-haired profiler in the picture. I let out a shaky breath and traced the outline of her face with my left index finger.

Emily.

It had been months since she had picked up and moved to her new position in London, England. She felt that it was the best way to move on from the whole Doyle incident, and had left without giving me a chance to truly explain to her what I felt towards her. I sighed and picked up my glass of scotch once more, this time making the decision to drain the glass. She had told me of her feelings shortly before she had accepted the job offer in London. I picked up the bottle of scotch that was nestled against the wall an arm's length away from me. As I poured myself another drink, my mind began to play the memory once more.

"It's really good to have you back," I said, smiling broadly at the older woman.

She chuckled and tucked a strand of ebony hair behind her ear. "I'm really glad we got to catch up outside of work," she replied, taking a small sip of the wine she had in front of her. "It's nice to have a normal conversation again. Not that I didn't enjoy our Scrabble games," she teased.

I laughed and touched my glass lightly against hers. "I know what you mean," I responded, fighting to ignore the butterflies I felt in my stomach at her words. I noticed that she was biting her lip slightly, which was another one of her nervous ticks. "Em, what's wrong?" I asked softly.

She flashed me a nervous smile. "Am I that obvious?" she asked bemusedly, setting her glass down on the table.

"I just know you," I replied, placing a hand over hers. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Instantly, she pulled her hand out from under mine. "Jayje, you've got to understand, it's really hard for me to talk about my feelings. But I've been thinking. The whole incident with Doyle just reinforced to me how little time we really have in the world. I was supposed to be dead, hell; for all intents and purposes I was dead. If it hadn't been for you, I might've forgotten that I still had something to live for."

"Em, I-"

"Let me finish," she said gently. "I need to say this, before I start shoving everything into my neat little compartments again. I…I love you, Jennifer. I'm in love with you. I have been for a while now, and I just really wanted you to know."

Her confession hit me like a freight train. If I wanted to be honest, I would have said that I had been in love with her for a while too, but instead I said, "Em, that's incredibly sweet of you, but I can't…we can't…"

"We could," she murmured after I trailed off. "You know that no one in our team would care, and I know that you feel something for me too. The looks, the touches, the subtle flirting we do all tell me that you feel something for me too. Don't tell me that it's all in my head, Jen. I know you better than that."

"Emily," I replied, fighting the urge to tell her she was right, "you've been through a lot in the last year. It's natural to try to hold onto something that made you feel safe. But you know we can't do this. I don't feel that way about you. You're my best friend, and I love you like a best friend and sister, but nothing more."

My heart broke as her face fell and she stood up. Her eyes were full of unshed tears, but she refused to let them fall and instead allowed her "Agent Prentiss" mask to fall back into face, effectively bringing all of her walls up in an instant. "I understand," she said formally, unaware of how much my heart was breaking to see her standing before me with that face on. "Well, Agent Jareau, I guess I'll just see you at work. Goodnight." She walked towards the door and out of my apartment before I had even had a chance to fully register what had just happened.

Faintly, I realized just how much I had loved hearing her say 'Jennifer', a name that I usually abhorred, before I realized that I might've lost her for good.

I sipped on my second glass of scotch slowly, feeling the amber liquid burn its way down my throat before I thought about what she said to me as an explanation as to why she was suddenly leaving the Bureau. Why she was leaving me. "I need this, Jayje," she had told me. "I need the space, and I've been walking around feeling like a there's a target on my back ever since I came back to the BAU. I've got to leave." I sat the picture I had found back in the stack before me and wondered, not for the first time, if I ever crossed her mind. I knew that for me, she was constantly on mine.

Another memory floated to the top of my memory as I nursed my drink and continued to sift through the piles of pictures I had scattered around me. I chuckled to myself as I found one of the two of us at a bar we liked to frequent whenever we had some time to burn between cases. I knew right away that Garcia had taken it, for she was nowhere to be found in the picture, although I could spot our other teammates in the background. In it, I was standing behind Emily, and my arms were draped around her shoulders. Both of us were smiling widely, which was very obvious despite the dim lighting in the bar. I touched Emily's face and couldn't help the smile that rose to my lips as I took in her wide, face-eating grin. She almost never smiled like that; it took a very special occasion – or maybe a special someone, my mind interrupted – to get her to smile like that. She looked so happy and carefree, much like the awkward, nerdy woman that I had come to first profoundly respect; a woman that I then grew love, inside and out, unconditionally and without any reservation.

Garcia had been the only one I had confided in about what had occurred between Emily and me before she had left. Of course, Garcia being Garcia, was over the moon that Emily had finally admitted her "clearly obvious" feelings for me; yet she was more than horrified that I had rejected them despite feeling the same way. However, she had promised to see if Emily had anything to say about me once she and Derek went to visit her new apartment in London. I allowed myself to think of what had occurred after they had gotten back from their trip.

Reid and I walked into the bullpen to find Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia looking like a couple of lost puppies. "Hi!" I exclaimed, walking forward to wrap my best friend in a hug. "Hey, you guys are back!"

"Serious squeeze," the technical analyst replied, doing her best to hug me despite all the souvenirs she had clutched in her hands.

"Oh, you guys look great," I said, moving to hug Derek.

Reid asked the question that was burning on my lips. "How's Emily doing?"

"Lovely," Garcia replied, while Morgan held his fist out for Reid to bump, which he promptly shook instead.

"Her apartment is off the chain," Morgan said, grinning at Reid's antics.

"You mean her flat," Garcia said in a posh British accent. "You have to take a shaky old lift to get to the top, but the view is brilliant." She handed Spence the mug she had clutched in her hand. "For my favorite bloke."

She moved on to hand me a small double-decker bus keychain. I smiled widely, hoping that she wouldn't catch the sudden shift in mood I had felt when I heard how well Emily was doing. She sounded like she had moved on and adjusted quickly, and while I knew I should be happy for her, I couldn't help the wave of sadness that had washed over me. If I was being honest with myself, I'd admit that there was a large part of me that hoped she would miss me.

"Hey, thank you," he exclaimed, grinning widely. "How was temporary duty?"

"I was on around the clock," Morgan replied. "I thought I'd get a little more vacation, but…" he trailed off and shrugged his shoulders in a "what can you do?" gesture.

The boys continued their conversation, interrupting my thoughts. "Did you watch the Olympics at all?" Spence asked.

"I did see a little track and field," Morgan replied, then gestured at Garcia. "But the queen bee here, she saw everything."

Garcia nodded, smiling widely. "Emily is for real hooked up over there. She sends her love. Oh, and Tea of the Month starts next week."

I groaned, feeling that I could admit to missing her safely now, and looked down at the little double-decker bus I had received. "Aww, I miss her."

"Don't even get me started," Garcia replied, then leaned in towards me and lowered her voice conspiratorially. "Hey, how's the new girl? Is she nice?"

"Uh, yeah, she is," I replied, still holding the bus with both hands, and found myself wishing that Emily was here instead of it.

"I'm just asking," Garcia murmured. "Reid, did you hear that she was recruited when she was twenty-four?"

Reid nodded. "I've guest lectured in her Forensic Linguistic classes before," he explained, his hands shoved in his pockets.

"Of course you have," Garcia replied sullenly, rolling her eyes as she did so. "Because she's a professor and an agent, which is so impressive."

"No," I stated, although I was fighting the urge to laugh at her chagrin. "Really, she's great." However, as I said this, my mind whispered, She's not as good as Emily. I didn't tell Garcia this though. Perhaps later, when we were alone, but for now I should probably just stick to the "she's great" line.

"Mmhmm," Garcia fired back, clearly not at all impressed. "Yeah, and driven, clearly. Berkley grad, double major, Bureau star of the Unibomber case. And she teaches at Georgetown; she's not doing that she's SSA at the Washington field office, and she has her PhD, does that mean I have to call her Doctor?" The rest of us looked at her in surprise for her little rant, which got her going again. "What?" she asked indignantly, not noticing that the aforementioned "new girl" was walking up behind her as she continued her rant. "I did some research on her 'cause I couldn't sleep on the plane. And my point is clearly, she is smart, and capable, but is she nice?"

Derek cleared his throat awkwardly, his hand covering his mouth.

Garcia gasped. "Oh, dear God, is this happening; where I'm talking and the person is behind me?"

"The origin of nice," Alex said as Garcia turned around, "is 12th century for 'foolish' or 'stupid'. I hope you're referring to the modern use of the adjective."

I found myself once again fighting back a laugh at the predicament that Garcia had landed herself in once again and looked at Derek, who simply looked embarrassed for her. "You must be Penelope," Alex continued. "I'm Alex Blake."

"Nice to meet you," Garcia whispered. "Really, actually nice, in the nicest of ways, nice." Derek patted her shoulder, silently telling her to stop talking before her foot ended up further in her mouth.

"I'm Derek Morgan," he said, pulling Alex's attention to him and sparing Garcia any further embarrassment.

"Welcome back."

"How was Seattle?" he asked politely.

"The unsub made Ridgeway look like a saint," she replied. "He even used his own kid to bake the victims." At this sentence, my heart felt another pang at the mention of kids being used by the unsub; Emily had helped us solve one like it, where the father used his son to lure women away and would cut out the women's hearts after capturing them.

Derek's voice broke me out of my thoughts. "Well, we've seen that before, no doubt we'll see it again."

Alex nodded in agreement as Rossi strode through the doors of the bullpen. "Don't unpack," he called out as he passed us.

Hotch walked in after him. "Garcia, the files?"

Still mortified at her earlier slip up, Garcia managed to mumble an acknowledgement before turning to fetch them. Realizing that this might be my only opportunity to ask her if Emily had said anything about me, I hurried after her.

"Hey, Pen," I called, causing her to slow down long enough for me to catch up with her. "How was Emily, really? Did she say anything about…I don't know, missing D.C.?"

Garcia smiled at me knowingly. "You mean, did she say anything about missing you?"

"D.C., me, same thing," I mumbled, blushing furiously. "Did she?"

"You know, kitten, I don't think she really wanted to talk about D.C.," she said gently, giving me a sympathetic smile. My face fell; I had really hoped that she had at least said something. Garcia gave me a sad smile. "But she did ask Derek about how you were doing when she thought that I wasn't listening in on the conversation. She forgot that my Chocolate Adonis and I always swap information like that, but I wasn't about to point it out to her. I know that she still cares about you, Jayje, but it would be better to just go see her, you know? You guys are going around each other in circles instead of just talking like you used to. You should know by now what can happen in this line of work; you need to tell her how you really feel about her before it's too late."

I laughed and ran a hand through my hair. "Yeah, maybe," I murmured, silently thinking that she probably wouldn't let me near her with a ten foot pole, let alone answer a call or text from me.

I exhaled as Garcia's words ran through my mind again. "You should know by now what can happen in this line of work, you need to tell her how you really feel before it's too late." I had been given a very startling wake-up call just earlier today, when I had been chasing an unsub and knocked off of the roof we were on. My left shoulder let out a scream of protest as I began to stand up from my spot against my bedroom wall, and I fought back a groan of pain. I bent over slowly and picked my phone up from where I had dropped it while I was getting up. Wearily, I dialed Garcia's number as I moved into the kitchen to deposit my now empty scotch glass in the sink.

"Hello?" a groggy voice answered on the third ring.

"Hey, Pen," I replied. "Did I wake you up? It's only a little after eleven."

"Well, considering what happened during the case earlier today, I think I'm entitled to want to go to sleep early," she mumbled back, and I could hear the rustling of bedcovers in the background. "How's your shoulder? Does it still hurt from getting thrown off of that building?"

I winced, remembering once again how I had sustained the aforementioned injury while hurriedly grabbing the ledge of the building. "I'll be fine. Listen, could you do me a favor?"

"Anything for you, my lovely lady," came the tired reply. "What is it?"

"Hotch told me I should take a couple days off before I try to return to active duty. Originally I wasn't going to take him up on that, but with everything that's happened recently, I think it's time to take your advice. I'm hopping on the next available flight to London, Pen. I don't know if she'll listen to me, but I need to at least try to tell her how I feel."

I heard her sharp intake of breath and smiled. Leave it to Penelope to go from tired to excited with one sentence. "Good," she exclaimed, sounding much more awake than a few moments ago. "Go get your girl, Jayje. I'll make sure Hotch knows."

"Thanks, Pen," I said, running my free hand through my hair. "Oh, I need you to send me her address, too."

"Will do, sugarplum," she replied, causing me to smile before I ended the call and moved to grab my go bag from the front hallway. I just hoped that Emily would actually give me a chance and listen to what I had to say when I showed up on her doorstep instead of simply shutting me out.

Emily's POV:

A knocking on the door of my apartment jolted me from my fitful nap in front of the TV set up in my living room. Instantly awake, I sat up and moved towards the door, taking care to stop and grab my Glock 19 from the drawer of the small table I kept next to the front door. I kept the weapon by my side as I opened the door, ready to defend myself if necessary. However, the sight that greeted me was not one that I had ever expected to show up on my doorstep again.

"Hey," Jennifer Jareau greeted me, smiling nervously, her hair and clothes drenched from the rain that had been a constant presence all day and all night.

I set my gun down on the table. "JJ, what do you want?" I asked wearily. I made no move to allow her into my apartment. For six years I had worked with her, always being the silent support that I knew she needed, even when all I wanted to do was take her into my arms, protect her and never let her go again. And when I had finally worked up the nerve to tell her how I felt, she hadn't done anything but dismiss what I was saying as a product of the year I had gone through.

"You," she whispered, reaching for me and pulling me into a soft, brief kiss. I pulled away, pleasantly surprised by the kiss but not willing to believe that this was actually happening to me. "I'm so sorry, Emily," she whispered against my lips. "I'm so sorry." She kissed me again, only for me to come to my senses and pull away. I suddenly felt beyond vulnerable standing in front of her with nothing but an oversized Yale longsleeve shirt and running shorts on.

Looking at her for the first time in months, it was hard to believe that anything between us had ever changed. The pain I had felt after her rejection slowly faded into the back of my mind as I stared into her soulful blue eyes. I could still read her like an open book, and instinctively knew that something big must had happened to her to cause her to show up on my doorstep; especially since my doorstep was now located across the Atlantic Ocean. "What happened?" I demanded softly, making sure to keep some space in between us, but allowing her to step a little further into the apartment.

"You know," she began softly, smiling slightly despite her somewhat her somewhat bedraggled appearance. "I almost died yesterday."

"You what?" I asked dumbly. The sudden thought of the possibility of Jennifer Jareau no longer existing just didn't seem real to me. She was joking, surely. She couldn't die. I don't think I'd make it if I didn't know she was alive and out there, somewhere in the world.

Still wearing that small, self-deprecating smile she had worn the whole time she had been in my apartment, she said, "I was chasing an unsub during an attempted rooftop escape. He went around one of the vents, and I lost sight of him. By the time that I had caught up to him, he blitzed me and knocked me off the roof. I just barely managed to grab onto the ledge. We were fifteen stories up; if I had fallen, I would've been gone."

"Jennifer," I breathed, trying not to picture the beautiful woman in front of me in that kind of situation as well as resisting the urge to pull her into my arms and reassure myself that she was alive and well.

"And I didn't care," she admitted softly, causing my eyes to jerk towards hers in alarm. What did she mean, she didn't care? Why wouldn't she care? "I almost died, and all I could think about was you. I just want you. Hell, it's more than that, Emily; I need you."

I fought the urge to pin her against my door and kiss her senseless. "So you flew all the way out here to tell me this?" I said instead.

She laughed and threw her hands up in the air. "What else do you want me to say, Emily?" she asked in exasperation. "I just flew 3,697 miles to see you; I had finally worked up the courage to admit to you how I feel about you, and that's all you have to say?"

Her words caused the hurt and frustration I had felt since her rejection to bubble to the surface, and I snapped back at her. "You could have told me this before I left, JJ! For six years, I was right there! Six years, I waited for you to just open your eyes and see that I was right there! That I was always there! And now that I'm not physically there, now that I'm trying desperately to just move on from the heartache, you show up and you tell me this! What else am I supposed to say? How can I say anything else when I thought that you didn't feel the same way and now I'm here instead of there?" I felt hot tears begin to prick my eyes as I spoke, and embarrassedly wiped at my eyes.

I noticed that JJ's eyes were also full of tears. "I was afraid," she whispered. "I was afraid to admit to you what I was feeling because of what it would mean. It would have made everything real. And if it was real, then we both could've gotten hurt. You had just started in the BAU, and I knew that it was your dream job; I couldn't risk taking that away from you. If it had come down to choosing between us and the job, you would have ended up resenting and hating me for forcing you into that position. And that just didn't seem bearable to me. I knew you were there. I always knew. That's why I didn't want to risk losing you."

"Jayje…" I murmured, moving to wipe away the tears that were now making their way steadily down her beautiful face. "I was scared too," I admitted softly. "That's part of why I took this new job. I was running scared. You were the first person I had ever told that I loved. When you rejected me, I couldn't stay and work with you every day. It just…hurt too much." I then realized that in the course of this semi-yelling match we had engaged in that we had moved a lot closer together. I could see all the tears clinging to her eyelashes, and her beautiful blue eyes had never looked more beautiful than when I was standing right there in front of her, both of our walls and defenses finally down. And then I realized something else: I no longer felt exposed in front of her. I felt whole. "But I never stopped loving you," I whispered softly, brushing some stray hair out of her eyes.

She gave me a watery smile. "I never told you that I loved you," she murmured, resting her forehead against mine, "but that didn't mean that I didn't love you, because I did. I never stopped loving you either. I have for six years."

"This isn't an 'I just almost died' thing, is it?" I joked, causing her to smile even wider, even though I was somewhat afraid of her answer.

"This isn't an 'I just almost died' thing," she confirmed, giving me a reassuring smile as she did so.

"Good," I mumbled. "Then I don't have to feel guilty about doing this." I brought our lips crashing together fiercely, one hand coming up to grip the back of her neck while the other knotted itself in her shirt. She echoed my movements by tangling her right hand in my hair and resting her left on my waist, and kissing back just as hard. All the emotions that I had been bottling up inside me came pouring out into the kiss; love, passion, energy, even the anger I had felt after her initial denial of a possible relationship, and she tightened her grip on me as we continued to explore this newly admitted part of our relationship.

Eventually, she backed away slightly, breathing hard. "Wow," she murmured. "If I had known that kissing you would've been that amazing, I wouldn't have held back for so long."

I didn't respond; I simply grabbed her hand and led her past the living room and into my bedroom.

I guess when all is said and done I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all, which is exactly how living without JJ had been the whole time I had been in London. I had sworn never to let my heart get trampled on again; but she had flown 3,697 miles to get me back, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to resist her after finding out that she actually felt the same way about me. I didn't know what tomorrow would bring, but I knew that when it really came down to it, I needed her just as much as she needed me.

I said I wouldn't call, but I lost all control and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

I just need you now

Oooh, baby, I need you now

AN 2: Like I said above, I really hope that someone out there in the wide world of the Internet enjoyed this oneshot. Their London encounter was inspired from Castle, in case anyone was wondering or noticed that. That was a really moving scene and so I liked the idea of Emily and JJ having a similar one, since I feel like they danced around their feelings in the subtext for the six years Emily was on the show, much like Castle and Beckett did. Anyways, if you did enjoy it, feel free to drop me a review or whatever. Thanks for reading. Darklighter out.