Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any characters you may recognize from the books or the movies, I wish I did but I don't... I also don't own the Narnian Calendar. It belongs to Elecktrum who was kind enough to let me borrow it for my story. Her own stories are awesome and you should go read them too.

Summary: General Oreius can handle anything...except maybe this baby...

A/N: This one-shot was originally requested by Lady Firewing. Hope you enjoy it! This is part of my A Light in the Darkness universe but can be read as a standalone.

The General and the Baby

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24 Fairdawn 1006

I raised an eyebrow at Peridan. He sighed, "Please, General, just watch her for a few moments. It is not as though she's capable of causing trouble. Look at her. Maisee is the sweetest child you will ever meet." I looked at his youngest who was clutching a small stuffed toy shaped like a lamb. I hesitated a moment too long in declining and Peridan immediately handed Maisee to me then hurried out the door...leaving me with this tiny filly.

I stared at her as I held her straight out in front of me. The filly stared back at me. Exactly what was I supposed to do with her? She didn't look like trouble, but her brothers didn't look like they could cause much trouble and they had caused almost as much disruption as Alambiel. And, there was the fact that I had never dealt with a Human foal this young before...watching Sherket and Sefu's cubs had been relatively easy but I had had Alambiel's help. I flicked my tail as I tried to decide what would be best to do with her and then stiffened as someone yanked on my tail. I stamped a hoof and shot a glare over my shoulder, which froze the culprit. Oh no... One of Peridan's twin colts stood with his hand still holding onto my tail. The other colt was standing next to him, he quickly whispered to his twin who finally let go.

The twin colts hurried to move away from my tail…thank Aslan. "Who is supposed to be minding you?"

They shrugged, "Followeded Ala."

Ala? Alambiel... I scanned the small library we were in and there was the chief troublemaker sitting in a chair and apparently completely absorbed in a book. I took a step to ask what the cheeky little pest was up to, but my movement jostled the little filly slightly since I was still holding her at arm's length and she dropped the little stuffed lamb. To my horror, the filly's eyes immediately filled with tears and she started wailing. All this for a toy?

One of the twin colts patted me on the foreleg and I glanced down to see he was holding up the little lamb, "Maisee wants her lammie."

Apparently he was correct since Maisee let out a squeal and immediately reached for the toy, squirming to the point that I feared I would drop her. Another little voice suddenly piped up, "You know that's not how you're supposed to hold a baby. You might drop her or squeeze too hard and hurt her sides. Mother wouldn't be happy at all if you did that, by the way. Father wouldn't either."

I suppressed a groan as Raisa came around my other side. How did I go from watching Peridan's youngest to watching four of his five children? And, how was I supposed to... I suddenly noticed Alambiel was cradling her book and I nodded. Yes, of course, rather foolish of me not to think of it before... With extreme care, I cradled Maisee close and shifted her so she was mainly supported by my left arm, allowing me to take the stuffed lamb from one of the twin colts. I watched the tiny filly's face light up with delight and then- "Wait! You can't give her that!"

I raised an eyebrow at Raise and had to raise my voice slightly as Maisee immediately began to fuss and cry when my hand stopped moving toward her, "Why not?"

The young filly planted her hands on her hips and gave me a very exasperated look, "Because it's dirty! It fell on the floor. You can't give it to her until you clean it off because she going to put it in her mouth. And, you really shouldn't let her chew on your hair either."

What? I glanced back at Maisee and the tiny filly did indeed have a fistful of my hair and was putting it in her mouth. I glanced at the lamb then smacked it a few times against my foreleg before offering it as a distraction to the filly. Maisee squealed in delight and lunged for the lamb, abandoning my hair, the end of which was now uncomfortably wet from her drool. I noticed the filly promptly put the lamb's nose in her mouth.

A small hand patting on my foreleg drew my attention back to the twin colts. They started bouncing as soon as I looked at them...did they think I couldn't see them? "Why don't you have a horsie head?"

"Because I am a Centaur, not a Horse."

The other twin barely waited for me to finish answering his brother before he asked, "How comes you don't gots clothes on?"

I distinctly heard a snicker from where Alambiel was sitting, but when I glanced over at her, she was reading her book with an expression devoid of even a hint of a smile. I did not believe that look. Maisee kicked her feet, thumping against my ribs, and then she smacked me in the face with the little lamb, which was wet in spots from her drool, and giggled. I sighed as I looked back down at the twin colts, who were still bouncing, and simply stated, "Because I am a Centaur."

Raisa suddenly piped up, "Are you sure you know what to do with babies? Because you should be being paying attention to Maisee. You also shouldn't let her do that."

Do what? Maise provided the answer when she squealed and grabbed my nose. I jerked my head back and turned so I could sneeze since she had also managed to ram two pudgy fingers into my nostrils. I sneezed again and I heard more snickering from where Alambiel was pretending to read. I suddenly felt something very wet and rather slimy on my shoulder and I turned my head to look... Maisee had planted her open mouth against my shoulder for some reason only known to her and was drooling. She giggled as she straightened with a line of drool running from her bottom lip to my shoulder. The twins were giggling as well. And, then a very peculiar and rather odious smell began to permeate the area. For a moment, I wondered if some unfortunate soul had managed to scare a Skunk, but then I realized the source of the smell was much closer. I looked at the twins but they were still giggling...while holding their noses. Then, I looked down at the little filly who had paused in chewing on her toy lamb's face in order to give me a smile, revealing drool, pink gums, and two small white teeth. Against my better judgment, I lowered my face toward her and inhaled. I jerked back again causing the twins and Maisee to giggle hysterically since they apparently found my actions funny. I coughed then stared at the little filly. By the Lion, how did such a small creature smell so very terrible?

Raisa piped up again, but with an ill-concealed smile, "Her nappy's dirty. You're going to have to change it."

Her nappy? I had never come across nappies before (probably because I never spent much time around very young Human foals) and I didn't even know how to change a nappy. Not to mention the fact that I had a feeling I did not actually want to come across a nappy, especially if it was dirty. Thank Aslan, Peridan finally returned before I had to figure out how one was to change a nappy (Alambiel had conveniently disappeared when I looked for her help). He'd barely stepped into the room when I handed Maise to him. "Her nappy is dirty." I left the room without waiting for Peridan to say anything. I decided I would not participate in babysitting, voluntary or involuntary, again...especially if a dirty nappy was involved.

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A/N: Please Read and Review! Also, there is now a follow up to this tale: Seaside Laughter.