Prologue: Fumes and Fools

"Hey!"

Arthur turned around, then immediately went back to his book. Oh, no, it's them!

Sean Thatcher, the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, barreled through the library, flanked by the other Beater and two Chasers. All were burly and menacing (except for Thatcher's oddly bandaged thumbs), especially when their anger was roused. And nothing roused their anger more than…

"Detention!" Sean growled, dragging Arthur to his feet by one shoulder. "I got two weeks' detention because of you, you goody-goody little Prefect!"

"What did you expect me to do? Ignore the fact that you were flagrantly violating-"

"Quit the double-talk, Weasley! You've got about five seconds to give me a good reason why I shouldn't do what I'm thinking of doing. Starting…now!"

Five seconds later, the four boys carried Arthur out of the library – Madam Pince had been skillfully distracted – dragged him down the corridor, and threw him into the nearest girl's bathroom.

He scrambled to his feet with his ears burning, only to find that there was a girl standing sitting on the edge of the sink, frozen with surprise. He recognized her as Molly Flanigan, one of the Chasers on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. There were bluebell flames coming out of the tip of her wand as though she'd begun the spell and had forgotten to stop it, and the flames…were lighting a cigarette. "What are you doing here?"

Forgetting the awkwardness of the situation, Arthur snapped back into Prefect mode. "I'm taking you to Headmaster Dippet's office for breaking two very strict Hogwarts rules at once, that's what I'm doing here!"

She put out her wand, inhaled on the cigarette, and blew smoke in his face. "Really? And what rules would that be?"

"I think you mean 'what rules would those be.' All grammar aside, though, you happen to be flagrantly violating the policy of no magic being practiced either in the hallways or in the bathrooms, not to mention the policy of-" he grabbed the cigarette and threw it into a toilet. "No smoking." Taking her by the wrist, he marched her out of the bathroom and started down the Charms corridor. "You're going to be in a lot of trouble for this! Pringle's getting meaner and meaner in his old age – I hear he actually hung Thatcher by his thumbs. You'll at least get a week of detention."

"Oh, no, come on!" she begged, her hazel eyes wide as saucers. "Pringle is a bloody animal! And his damn new cat is demon-possessed! She almost killed this Hufflepuff guy when Pringle caught him out of bed after hours!"

"Please tone down your language!"

"Pleeeease? Just this once, let me off the hook!"

"I have never, nor do I have plans to, let anyone 'off the hook,' least of all you!"

"But I'm the only one who you should be letting off the hook!"

"Oh, really?" There were very few things that bothered Arthur more than when rule-breakers tried to avoid their punishment. "If you give me one good reason why you deserve to not get taken up to Headmaster Dippet, I might…MIGHT…let you go."

She cast about for a good lie. "I…I'm only smoking because the Headmaster said to!"

"Right. Try again, Miss Flanigan." He couldn't help but get a kick out of treating such a popular person like an inferior.

"I'll pay you! I mean, I know you need the money."

"Insulting me doesn't help, Miss Flanigan."

"Oh, bleedin' Christmas trees, stop talking like you're a friggin' teacher! You're my age, for God's sakes, so start acting like it!"

"I'll act any way I want as long as it doesn't break any rules."

"You're a goddamn machine, you know that?" He didn't respond. "Will you at least let go of my sodding arm?"

He whirled around to face her. "Look, we're almost at the Headmaster's office. You've yet to give me a single good reason why you shouldn't be punished. If you've got any excuses, now's the time!"

It was the last-ditch plan of a mind reeling with the idea of ugly detentions. "Because…because…"

"Because what??"

She grabbed him by the collar, pushed him up against the wall, and kissed him hard. "Because I've liked you ever since the moment I saw you!"

"Uh………huh?"

Yes! She thought. It's working! There's no way he'll turn me in now! "I'm crazy about you, Artie! You…you like me, too, right?"

"Uh………huh?"

Recalling everything she'd ever heard on wireless shows, she mellowed her voice down and put on one of the greatest untold love scenes in the history of the world. "I know…it's hard to speak when feeling is so strong. We'll meet again tomorrow, dear Arthur! But for now, good-night…good-night!" She floated dramatically down the hallway and back to the Gryffindor common room, leaving Arthur completely snookered.

And that is how it all began.