A/N: This is just going to be five chapters of all-dialogue mild Lutecest. Basically just them cringing over Booker's incompetence.


"I thought DeWitt could swim."

"He can. If you hadn't moved the oar, he would be on his way."

"How was I to know he would slip?"

"Oh, use your common sense, Robert. The ladder is wet."

"He was a military man, you would think he would be able to climb a ladder."

"You hit him on the head. It's your fault."

"I only hit him because you refuse to row."

"How is my not rowing relevant to you killing a man?"

"If you'd taken the oar, he wouldn't have been hit."

"Maybe he should row."

"He doesn't row, Ros."

"Maybe he should next time."

"It's a constant. DeWitt doesn't row."

"Oh, please, brother. This is our third time. He might row the fourth time."

"Doubtful."

"I think this is an idiotic experiment."

"So you've said."

"If we keep at this, Booker DeWitts will continue to drop like flies."

"The first two times were his own stupidity."

"The first time was the girl beating him to death with a book, how was that his own stupidity? It was her pent-up anger."

"His own stupidity for having a child in the first place."

"If he was so stupid to have a child, why are we wasting our time?"

"We've had this discussion, Ros."

"Have we?"

"Yes, we have."

"As I recall, it wasn't as much a discussion as a threat."

"You are so beautiful when you contradict me."

"That's narcissistic, brother. Also, how does the act of contradicting you make me more beautiful than usual?"

"It doesn't."

"Then why did you feel the need to comment this time out of all the other possible occasions?"

"You call me narcissistic."

"That wasn't narcissism, that was logic."

"Wasn't. And besides, if I told you you were beautiful every time I thought it, I would be telling it to you endlessly for days."

"Must we sit here in the rain?"

"Do you want to row this time?"

"Hardly."

"We should get the next DeWitt."

"Should we?"

"Like they say, fourth time's the charm."

"No one says that, Robert."

"They should."

"No, it's idiotic and nowhere near as catchy as the real thing."

"How is it idiotic? It's hopeful."

"Sometimes hope is idiotic, brother. This whole DeWitt experiment is hopeful and idiotic. I mean, honestly. The second time, where he detached from the skyline too soon?"

"I will admit that was painful. I just feel guilty, Ros."

"You don't feel guilty about killing three DeWitts, and likely a hundred more?"

"I had no hand in the first two."

"Ah! So you admit you killed him this time!"

"I played a minor part. He still should've been able to climb the ladder."

"But he didn't."

"Let's get the next one."

"Oh, don't sigh like that. Chin up, brother."

"Your hand's cold."

"Well, maybe if we weren't sitting in the rain..."


A/N: Any and all feedback is extremely appreciated.