A Doctor for my Soul

By XV

Pairing: Xena/Gabrielle

Rating: G

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, I make no money from my scribbles. Go on and sue me if you must, I'll enjoy reading femslash out loud in court.

A/N: Okay well, this was literally the first fanfic I ever wrote. Almost ten years ago now and I never finished it or posted it. I have since been encouraged by a number of people to polish it up and put it up alright already. LOL So I did that, remember it's been polished, not actually re-written so it's not all that, ya know?

Set at the end of A Doctor in the House but before X & G leave the temple scene.

Xena had continued to help Hippocrates and his fellow priests, late into the night, showing them how to continue treatment for the most seriously wounded, and to monitor them for fever and infection. When she had at last been able to check on Gabrielle she'd found the bard sleeping fitfully her brow just beginning to flush with the early stage of fever. She'd wanted the bard away from the continued chaos of the main temple precinct so she moved her to the largest of the sleeping cells at the rear of the temple. Xena saw the rest of the night out dozing fitfully in a chair set beside the low palette, periodically checking on her friend. By the time the sun had risen Gabrielle's fever had deepened and Xena went to make some willow bark tea to try and lessen her temperature.

On her return Xena paused in the doorway of the sleeping cell her brow furrowed in concern as she noted the girl's tossing and turning had increased and her blonde hair was matted and darkened by the sweat now pouring off her overheated body. Taking a firmer hold on the warm cup Xena went and knelt beside the bed where she gently brushed the hair of that sweet face.

"Gabrielle, wake up." There was no response and Xena gently shook her shoulder a little. Gabriele gave a small groan and opened bleary eyes as she tried to focus.

"Xena?" Her voice was small and strained.

"Yeah, it's me. You've got a fever Little One. You need to drink this now to bring it down."

She raised her young friend up and helped her drink the medicated tea, holding the cup and urging the girl to finish it before she laid her back down. As Gabrielle dosed, Xena proceeded to rinse a cloth in a bowl of cold river water before wiping it gently across the bard's forehead and face, trying to further cool the fevered skin. As she continued the process of bathing the bard in the cool water she sang a quiet lullaby. Xena knew she would do this for as long as was needed to break the girl's fever. She'd brought the bard back from the brink of death; she'd be damned to Hades if she was going to lose her to a fever now.

Several hours later Gabrielle appeared to be sleeping more deeply and Xena took the opportunity presented to slip away for a few moments to check on things elsewhere, and see to her own needs, not least of all to find something to eat.

A little while after Xena left, Gabrielle woke from a fevered sleep. Groggily she noted she was alone and she desperately searched for her companion. As Xena didn't immediately appear the girl's disorientation and distress increased and she began to cry and murmur entreaties to her absent companion.

"You can't leave me. Please don't leave me. I won't get in your way. You mean so much to me." Abruptly she stopped and her eyes appeared to clear a little as she got up on shaky legs before she began searching for her scroll bag. Still muttering to herself, "I'll show you…how much…I can prove it…" She found the bag beside the bed and began frantically rummaging through the contents.

Xena entered the room seeing Gabrielle in her frantic search, throwing things on the floor when it turned out not to be what she was looking for and the warrior hurried to her side, trying to stop her frantic searching.

"Gabrielle, what are you looking for?"

Gabrielle blinked and tried to focus on her friend's face.

"Please don't leave me behind Xena. Please. You mean everything to me, see, read it. It proves how much I love you" and she thrust a piece of parchment into Xena's hands continuing to plead with her.

"It's okay Gabrielle, I'm not going to leave you, I promise. You need to get back to bed now, you have a fever." Xena tried to guide the girl back to the bed, but she became more agitated, pressing Xena to read the parchment, "Please Xena, I love you so much, please don't leave me here. Read this, please you'll understand then."

Xena took the parchment and soothed Gabrielle, "Alright Little One, I'll read it. I love you too Gabrielle, just lie down now. Please. For Me?"

Gabrielle seemed to quieten down and allowed Xena to pick her up and lay her gently down on the bed. As she tried to withdraw and stand up, Gabrielle took her hand and delicately brushed her lips across Xena's fingers. Looking earnestly into Xena's eyes, she begged once more, "Please read it, now."

Xena sat down on the side of the bed, allowing Gabrielle to keep hold of her hand and tuck it under her chin. She unrolled the parchment and started to read. It appeared to be a poem, and it was unsurprisingly, like most of the bard's work, about Xena herself. It praised her heroism but more particularly it praised her beauty, in vivid and sensual detail. It was an eloquent declaration of the young adventurer's love for her traveling companion. As she read, Xena absently withdrew her hand from Gabrielle's grip and stroked the bard's damp hair away from her forehead. The warrior smiled, feeling an inner glow of contentment before whispering her reaction.

"Oh, my little Bard, I love you too. Thank you for this. Now I know where we can go from here." She bent and lightly kissed the girl's damp forehead, "Thank you for coming back to me Gabrielle."

As Xena had been stroking her head, Gabrielle had drifted back to sleep, a small smile playing over her lips.

It was another day before Gabrielle's fever finally broke. It was evident to the warrior that she didn't remember the events of her fevered declarations and entreaties. Xena said nothing about the parchment or her knowledge of it, merely allowing the bard to slowly regain her strength.

Three days later, feeling considerably better if still not one hundred per cent well, Gabrielle decided to visit Ephiny to see how she was doing. The Amazon had been given the High Priest's private rooms while she recuperated from the trauma of her son's birth.

Gabrielle hobbled into the room using her staff as a support and sat in the chair beside the bed where Ephiny and baby Xenon were relaxing. She cooed in delight at the little centaur, tickling his chin and giggling when his forelegs shakily rose up to aid his little hands in blocking her gentle assault, causing him to plop back on his hind legs

"He's beautiful Ephiny. It was really sweet of you to name him after Xena. I think she really liked that."

"Yeah, well neither of us would be here if it hadn't been for Xena. And he's named after his Aunt Gabrielle as well don't forget." Ephiny smiled at the bard.

Gabrielle blushed a little and nodded, turning as she noticed Xena enter the room. She smiled up at her friend. Xena smiled back and put her hand lightly on the back of Gabrielle's neck.

"Hi, how're things here?"

Gabrielle enjoyed the warm sensation of Xena's hand on her neck, almost humming when her fingers began to gently knead the kinks away. Not receiving a reply to her question she proceeded to share her news.

"Tyldus just arrived Ephiny. He's talking with Marmax about finding Phantes' remains and about restitution."

Ephiny looked down and pulled Xenon to her chest as tears welled in her eyes.

"Nothing can bring Phantes back, but Tyldus needs to do what ever he feels he needs to do for his son." She said quietly.

Gabrielle leaned over and hugged Ephiny, allowing her to rock gently in her arms. Xena waited a little before she continued.

"Melosa's also sent an escort for you. Solari and Eponin are with Tyldus. Melosa's laying claim to an apology for the attack on an Amazon Royal Guard, and she thought you might like some of your sisters with you for support,"

Ephiny squeezed Gabrielle's hand, "I've had my sister's support." Xena let a tiny smile appear when Gabrielle smiled and ducked her head in the endearing way she had when she was embarrassed.

Later that afternoon Xena and Gabrielle said goodbye to Ephiny and Xenon as the centaurs and amazons left with the new mother and her son comfortably ensconced in a small wagon. Xena then went to see how Hippocrates was doing with the remaining seriously wounded patients.

Gabrielle decided to take a short walk down to the nearby river. The walk was necessarily short because her injuries were still slowing her down as they healed. She went and found the slope near where she'd been attacked by the Mitoan soldier. Tired she sat down with her back to a large tree as she thought about the attack. She was still pleased with the fact she'd been able to save the little boy and not kill the soldier, even if she had been hurt in the process. With hindsight she realised she should have told Xena where she was going, but there really hadn't been time.

Just as she was thinking about her beloved companion, she heard familiar footfalls behind her as Xena came up and sat down beside her.

"How you doing?" she asked picking up a few pebbles and skipping them into the water. Gabrielle smiled, remembering one of her early lessons in philosophy given by Xena beside a lake much like this one.

"I'm still kind of sore, especially my stomach, but not too bad. I think I'm healing."

"Let me have a look," Xena leaned over as Gabrielle moved back a little to allow her to see the stiches in her stomach. "Looks good, but it was a serious wound my bard, it's going to take a little while to heal," she straightened and patted Gabrielle's knee reassuringly. Gabrielle blinked in surprise at the title 'My Bard'. Did Xena realise what she'd said?

"Gabrielle, I was wondering, if you're ready, can you tell me what you remember about getting hurt?" She looked earnestly into pale green/blue eyes, "And what happened after that?" she added softly. She watched the girl carefully as she thought about the question. Finally, Gabrielle took a deep breath and turned a little toward Xena.

"Well. I remember coming down here looking for Stefan, his father hadn't been able to get to him. I found him and managed to get him to run for the temple just as the Mitoan soldier came after me. I kind of remember the slice to my neck, but the stab in my stomach came as I cracked his head and I kind of blacked out then. Next thing I kind of remember is struggling to breathe.

Xena's face had gone very white as the bard's words took her back to the terrible time in that cursed temple, when Gabrielle had been dying and there wasn't anything she could do. Gabrielle sensed her distress and gently laid her hand on Xena's knee allowing her thumb to stroke the smooth skin, as she continued.

"The next thing I remember I was… I don't know, dreaming, at least I thought that at first, but it all seemed so real. I was walking through this field, it was warm but I couldn't see the sun. I thought it was so strange, there was no sound, no wind, no insects, it was totally silent. There was no one around and I felt just…empty and really lonely. I was walking, looking for someone, but there was nobody there." She stopped for a moment and realisation hit her for the first time. "Xena, I think I died. I think I was in the Elysian Fields."

Looking down at Gabrielle's hand on her knee, Xena replied in a soft whisper, "You did die, Gabrielle. You stopped breathing and your heart stopped."

Slowly and painfully she described what had happened from her point of view. Gabrielle listened as Xena described what had happened, responding to the anguish the warrior had experienced. She let Xena finish her tale.

"Well, that explains what else I remember then." Xena raised her eyebrow in question.

"I was starting to feel really lonely, kind of abandoned, when I heard a voice in the distance. I started to run toward it, and then I realised it was your voice, calling for me. I had to get to you. And then… and then suddenly I was in a lot of pain, in your arms and looking up at you." They sat in silence for a little while; Gabrielle took Xena's hand and just held it in her lap. Xena broke the silence.

"Do you remember anything about the fever you had?"

Gabrielle chuckled, "It's pretty hazy after that, lots of images but not a lot of sense, and I was pretty out of it."

Xena turned to Gabrielle and raised her free hand to gently cup Gabrielle's face. She leaned in and softly kissed the bard on her cheek, very close to her lips. "Thank you. Thank you Little One for coming back to me. I can't imagine my life without you anymore; you are in my heart and soul."

Gabrielle had closed her eyes as Xena touched her cheek, and was swallowing hard when she felt soft lips brush close to her own. She opened her eyes and looked into wells of the deepest blue. Clearing her throat a little, she replied, "The Fields were empty for me, I think, because you weren't there. So…." She leaned in and gently brushed her lips across Xena's cheek, "Thank you for calling me back."

Contemplating the young woman before and armed with her knowledge of her true feelings the warrior decided it was time for her to take that final leap of faith and hope. Xena smiled and looked intently into Gabrielle's eyes, very slowly she moved forward and just short of her target, breathed the words, "I love you," before pressing forward as her lips met that of her soul's mate.