Previously on Perc:
She's pivoting to leave and tying her coat securely around her waist when she turns back toward me. "Remember what I said," she says, her eyes serious, a sharp juxtaposition from the merry twinkle of a few moments ago, and her mouth is set in a hard frown. "Take care of him for me. I know him; he's gonna need to talk it out. I wish I could Jess, but…"
"You can't," I finish for her. "It's okay, Kate. Don't worry, I got this."
Kate nods in farewell, accepting my promise, and manages a weak smile that's tinged with a good heaping of regret before she ducks her head and quickly slips outside ahead of the boys.
I intend to keep that promise. Rick's lagging behind the boys and I can tell from his posture that the day has taken a harder toll on him than he's willing to show. He and I have a date with my sofa and a soothing cup of tea.
But first, I have to take care of Ryan and Esposito.
Ryan and Esposito make their way to the counter, looking much happier than when they had arrived and I hand out the bags as a goodbye offering when they approach.
"Jenny called. I can't," Ryan says with a look of apology. "I told her some of what happened and she's making chicken noodle soup."
I'm pretty sure he's blushing, embarrassed by his admission; he's adorable. Chicken noodle soup is exactly what he looks like he needs. Well that, and the love of his fiancé. He's got nothing to be ashamed of, despite the ribbing I'm sure he's been getting from Rick and Javier.
"Understood," I wink, pulling the bag back. Esposito quickly intercedes, taking both his and Ryan's sandwich from my outstretched hand.
"Man's gotta eat," he smirks.
This one's full of bravado but underneath I get a fierce sense of loyalty and a deep affection and respect for his partner. I'll let him play it cool if that's what he needs to deal with their night.
"First one's free," I say, waving away his money. "But once you're hooked, it's gonna cost ya."
"It's a trap!" Rick says dramatically, coming up behind them and clapping them both on the shoulders. His mask is firmly back in place for the guys and I wonder how he manages to do it. "Get out now, while you still ca..." He trails off, scanning my hands and the surrounding counter. "Hey! Where's my sandwich?"
"Stick around and I'll whip you up a fresh one," I say, directing him behind the counter and pointing him to the supplies.
"Deal," he agrees, going straight for the baguettes and wincing as he attempts to slice himself up a large portion of the crusty loaf. There's a reason I didn't make enough Panini for everyone. Reason number one is that I told Kate that I'd take care of him and I fully intend to do so. Reason number two is that I'm pretty sure his injury is the least of his problems right now and a little tea and cheer is exactly what he needs to open up so that I can take care of him. He's putting on a formidable façade, but I can see the cracks forming the longer the night stretches on.
The guys say their goodbyes quickly, leaving together, and I commandeer the knife from Rick and begin making his sandwich.
"So…" I hedge, preparing the ingredients and waiting to see if he'll start talking or whether this will take some digging.
"Rough night," he says, hoisting himself up onto the granite countertop. He swings his legs and looks anywhere but toward me. He fiddles with a napkin somebody has left, eventually tearing it into small shreds as I finish up his grilled cheese, tomato and ham.
"You gonna tell me about it, or are you just here for my sandwich skills?"
He smiles, gathering the remains of the napkin into a pile and dumping them into the trash. "Both?"
"You want another coffee?" I ask as the Panini grill dings its announcement that the bread should be toasted.
"Actually, I think tea is in order," he replies, hopping down and heading for the pot I had prepared earlier.
I smile, glad that he's with me on the tea and not looking to tear up his stomach with any more coffee, but it's got to be cold by now, so I take it from him, waving him off toward the seating area. "Grab the sandwich and I'll be over in a second."
He nods and does as I instruct, walking back over toward the sofa. His gait is slow, tired looking, and his shoulders have slumped since the rest of his party left. I get the tea steeping and pull out my phone; it's late and Erin is expecting me at any minute. We have plans to go out for dinner.
I text her, telling her than I'm going to be late, that Rick needs a shoulder to lean on. She messages back quickly, expressing her understanding and telling me that she'll prepare something at her place instead. God, I love that woman. I make a mental note to show her just how much when I get home later tonight.
I text her one more time, warning her that I might be bringing along company and she quickly replies that that's fine, that she'd love to get to know Rick more. I amend my mental note to include a hot oil massage and a warm bath.
I grab a couple of fresh mugs and make my way over to the couch, sitting myself beside Rick and pouring us both a cup of the calming chamomile and lavender tea. I note with satisfaction that he's already devoured half the sandwich.
"Tell me," I say, handing over his cup.
And so he does. He tells me everything. About Kate's mom's case rearing its ugly head again, his guilt about reopening it in the first place, and about the boys being tortured. With no small amount of pride he tells me about Kate letting him in; showing him her own personal investigation at her apartment and that he'd brought her flowers. He tells me with a rosy hue to his cheeks that Kate had accepted them, and him. He practically beams when he tells me how he knocked out the lights of some hired killer named Lockwood and how Kate subsequently had bandaged him up properly once the paramedics had cleared them all for duty. He looks to me for affirmation when he tells me that coming to the Hut was his idea, that maybe he was being selfish by not wanting to go home alone after the day they'd had. He's worried about Kate; she'd been so very quiet.
"You made the right choice," I say. "The boys are doing great, all things considered, and Kate's fine, a little shaken up, but fine."
Kate. It's Kate now, not Beckett, I realize. Not even a single Beckett was uttered during his entire tale. Something has definitely changed and though he's been exceedingly open in his retelling of the story, he's leaving something out. While he had embellished and elaborated earlier parts of the story, the part with the boys' rescue had been fishily sparse and to the point. This isn't my first rodeo with Richard Castle; he's holding something back. It's the best part of the story and he's avoiding the chance to exaggerate and inflate his ego.
Nope, I don't buy it, and it's not gonna fly.
He leans back into the sofa when he's done telling his tale, crossing his legs, looking relieved and much more relaxed than when he had entered the café. He's not quite back to the bright eyed and happy Rick that I know and love, but he's getting there.
For a moment I let the comfortable silence prevail, debating whether I should push for more. If he doesn't want to share, maybe it's for a good reason. I don't want to push too far and send him backwards into the distracted and playacting man that he'd been when he'd entered earlier. His thumb traces a busy path along his lips, back and forth, it's mesmerizing, and I'll admit it, a little hot too.
Nothing says I can't enjoy a little window shopping now that I'm involved with someone, right? And watching Rick has always been a favorite pastime of mine.
It's as I'm distracted by the way his lip pops free on each pass when he surprises me by blurting out what's been bothering him in one long and excited rush.
"We kissed."
I sit up straighter in my seat and lean in, all ears and a little excited.
"I mean, I kissed her. But then… she kissed me back."
My heart leaps into my throat with his confession and I want to praise the gods and jump into his arms for a congratulatory hug, but he rapidly continues and soon my mood is tempered with a dose of rationality.
"It was all a ruse, undercover, to get by the guards, but oh my god, Jess, it was so good. Really good. And now I don't know what to think because… she moaned, and it keeps replaying in my mind, the moan I mean, not the kiss. Well actually, yeah, the kiss too."
He chuckles, grins dopily, and I stare at him slack-jawed and tongue tied.
Rick Castle and Kate Beckett finally kissed. It's not how I imagined their first kiss might go, but from Rick's side at least, it wasn't a complete loss. It certainly explains Kate's skittishness and quiet reserve earlier.
"So, what do you think it means?" he finally says, apparently tired of waiting for my reaction.
Yeah, like I have all the answers. I'm yet to form a response, let alone anything of substance that might help him. I'm flabbergasted and there's a small voice in the back of my mind whispering that I need to play this very carefully.
He asked me what I thought it meant. I think that it means Kate needs to drop the doctor and continue kissing the man, but thankfully I have the wherewithal to not actually voice that first opinion. While I want these two idiots to eventually get together, now is not the time. Not with the recent turmoil in her life, not with Nikki Heat coming out, and not while she's still with the doctor. Any one of those things has the ability to throw a new relationship off kilter, but all three together and they are almost certainly doomed from the start. Besides Kate, he's still fresh off his breakup with Gina. He could use a little time to be single, to prove both to himself and to Kate that when they start something, it's serious and not some kind of rebound affair.
No wonder Kate was so jumpy earlier. After the week they've had, she was also probably ravaged with guilt. She's not the cheating type, and no doubt this has thrown her moral compass for a loop. It's probably a good thing that the doctor is on call and not waiting up for her at home tonight.
Rick's watching me with curiosity, head tilted to the side and a look of expectation on his face. It's then I realize that I still haven't answered him.
"I think you already know what it means," I say, hedging my bets. "I think you have something with her Rick…"
His eyes light up and I quickly temper it with my next statement. "But, I also think that now isn't the time to rush into something with her or even to try and push her into admitting it."
He sighs, eyes dropping along with his voice. "I know. It's just… it was amazing, Jess."
"Yeah," I grin, thinking about taking Erin and kissing her senseless when I get home. "I bet it was."
He looks up. "So what should I do about it?"
He's there. I know he is. It's written all over his face. Love is practically dripping from his pores but she's not ready for it yet and I think he knows that deep down as well. He needs to keep doing what he's been doing for the last couple years, just with a few minor changes.
"You need to keep showing up," I say. "Show up and be seen. Be vulnerable for her and let her know in subtle ways that you are finally ready for this."
"What does that even mean? Finally? I've been showing up for almost three years."
I've gotten him agitated. Good. He needs to listen up and pay attention.
"It means the next time some pretty young thing catches your eye, do the opposite of whatever Little Ricky tells you to do and keep on your game."
"I haven't... I didn't. What are you talking about?" he huffs.
The man truly is clueless.
"Meredith, Ellie Monroe, Gina, Natalie Rhodes…" I list, raising a finger for each successive woman. "Shall I go on? You have a pattern, Rick. It's not necessarily a fault, it understandable even, but it's a definite pattern."
He cocks his head and raises an eyebrow, obviously waiting for more.
"Something scares you with Kate and you run away and find the prettiest, most available girl to adorn your arm. You're hurting your chances more than you realize…"
I trail off, recognizing that I've probably said too much. I don't want to betray Kate's confidence. While I've often let her know that it might be prudent to let Rick know how he's hurt her, I also know that she probably hasn't since the last time we talked, that she probably never will for that matter. Pride is something they both carry a little too much of at times.
"I'm not scared, Jess."
I let out the breath I'd been holding. Good, he's missed the part about hurting his chances and gotten hung up on scared. As I was saying: pride.
"Rick, you're terrified."
He gives me a dirty look, but doesn't deny it; he nods his admission, going about unravelling a loose thread on the bandage on his hand and avoiding any further conversation.
"And that's okay," I continue, laying a hand on his arm. "It's tough to be exposed. We're scared what people see or think when they truly look at us, beyond the exterior. You've opened up to her, and I know that's frightening, but please…"
I wait until he's stopped fussing with the bandage and looks up at me. I can't tell him about Kate being ready for him last summer, about the damage that he unwittingly caused by dating the first actress, or kissing the next, but I can give him some hope.
"Believe me when I tell you that it's not for nothing."
"I'm not good about sitting back and waiting. What if I make some kind of grand gesture? I mean come on, Jess. Surely she wouldn't be able to resist my charms? I didn't imagine that moan."
"No, you didn't, I'm sure of that. She's definitely into you. But she's not after what you or your money can do for her. You also didn't imagine how quiet she was tonight, did you?"
"No," he grumbles.
"Save your grand gestures for later," I advise.
"How much later?"
Lord, he's an eager beaver.
"You'll know when the time is right. Trust yourself."
"Yeah, you're right," he sighs. And then, "Waiting is hard, Jess."
I chuckle. "Suck it up big boy. But you know... if you must throw a little cash around to make yourself feel better, there's a certain barista who also happens to be your best, oldest friend, who could always use a healthy cash injection."
I waggle my eyebrows and wink at him.
"Those Panini don't just grill themselves you know."
"Oh my god," he says, digging into his pants pocket, "I'm so sorry, I totally forgot to pay you."
I laugh, waving his offering away as he attempts to shove a hundred dollar bill in my hands. "I was actually thinking about ditching this joint and going home. You wanna join us for dinner, Ricky? I'm sure Erin wouldn't mind an extra mouth to feed and for the low, low price of a good bottle of red, I'm pretty sure I can get you a seat at the table."
He makes a show of thinking about it, but I can tell that he's not eager to go home. Apparently Martha and Alexis are out for the night. I'm already texting Erin to expect us when he replies.
"You've got yourself a deal," he says, standing and offering me his hand.
See? I told you another update was imminent. Love me?
Again, thanks to Jo for the beta. Muah!