England was the first nation to recover, having stereotypically very few emotions to begin with. He crept back into the empty room and greeted the fairies and unicorns that had supposedly been there waiting for him.

After waiting for a moment in silence, his sights fell to the abandoned microphone. Without giving it a second thought, he tore off his uniform, revealing the baggy T-shirt and jeans he wore underneath. He put on sunglasses and a backwards baseball cap, and grabbed the mic.

"Flying Mint Bunny," he said. "Drop me a phat beat."

Flying Mint Bunny swirled around England, beatboxing into his tiny little paws. England nodded to the beat. Then he raised the microphone to his mouth.

"My name is Britain and they call me Great,
France will try to outdo me, haters love to hate
I'm a rapping nation, bet you didn't expect
And if you want to get to know me, then I'll tell you direct

My heart is ambitious, my navy is vicious
And if you ask the right people, my scones are delicious
They call me Great Britain, remember my name
Because I've got an empire and a world to reclaim."

England took a bow and let the fairies' applause wash over him.

"Do another song!" shouted the pixie.

"Yes, a love song!" said the unicorn.

"Well..." said England, catching his breath. "All right."

The pixies, unicorns, and other imaginary things cheered. England brought the mic to his lips once more.

"Alfred is my honey and I know how to please
I never make orange juice but I Florida squeeze
And there is nothing that can come between my Alfie and me
Unless you may be counting on a really big sea

So back off, Russia, and back off, France
As I'm the only nation ever getting in his pants
Bugger off, Cuba, bugger off, Japan
He's America the beautiful and I'm his leading man."

Applause. England heard applause, and this time, it was too loud to be coming from the fairies. He whirled around to see the other Allies standing in the doorway.

"Er... how much did you hear?" asked England. France, who was still naked, smiled a sparkly smile.

"Enough," he replied.

"Okay," said Russia, pushing his way to the front of the room. "Now it is my turn." He grabbed the mic from England and he stared at it. A smile crept across his face and grew wider and wider. Then, he squeezed his fist closed, crushing the microphone. When Russia opened his hand, there was nothing left but bits of crushed metal and copper wiring.

"That was fun," said Russia. The other Allies cowered.

********

Germany listened with his ear up against the radio. There had been nothing but silence for several seconds.

"The Allies may have discovered us and disconnected the microphone," he said. He turned off the radio. "This whole day was a waste. We collected no information whatsoever."

"I do not see it in such a way," said Japan. "I got a very useful photograph." He looked up, revealing a bloody nose and a photograph of naked France hugging a tearful America.

Germany facepalmed again.

"Oh, don't worry, Germany," said Italy. "Even though we all did something really stupid and wasted a lot of time, for every negative, there is a positive."

Germany looked fondly at Italy's innocent smile. Even on the most frustrating days, that silly Italy could cheer him up.

"And what is the positive from today, Italy?"

Italy whipped out a pot of boiling water that was foaming over with starchy bubbles.

"I'm making more pasta!"