A.N.: I´m completely new to this fandom but I´m becoming hopelessly obssessed with it. Please, be patient with me if there are any mistakes. :)

Enjoy the chapter. :)

Jim had been watching his first officer for the whole afternoon. He usually did so when there wasn´t anything better to do – and it usually wasn´t these days because they were travelling through deep space with absolutely no distraction. Jim had no idea why he found Spock so interesting to watch – there had been times when he hadn´t been able to even look at him without urge to vomit – but watching Spock was as good as watching anybody else, wasn´t it?

And Spock was acting strange that day, there were no doubts about it and Jim was trying to figure out what made his friend do so. He was used to see the half-Vulcan being stiff and acting only professionally, but it was much worse that day. His expression didn´t change at all, his eyes focused on the screen in front of him as if there was something extraordinary interesting going on in there. Jim even went to see if his Commander wasn´t watching some film – in his case probably something as amusing as some document about women knitting socks in the eighteenth century – but Spock´s screen looked exactly the same as any other on the bridge – and that meant nothing but black space.

Jim had been asking him questions and Spock had always answered but he´d used only the words which were neccessary. And that was very strange for Spock as he usually said five sentences instead of five words. Jim was worried – not about the crew or Enterprise because Spock would never do anything what might endanger any of them – but about his friend. Jim hated himself for not being able to find out – he was sure Spock would have known what was the matter with him six hours and fourty-five minutes before. He was sure it was something ordinary but he couldn´t see it. With Spock hiding everything he felt it wasn´t particularly easy to figure out what was in his mind. And Jim has never been especially good at emphatizing.

Then his eyes lay on the place Lieutenant Uhura was sitting with eyes blindly staring in front of her, not really seing what was going on. What the hell is this? Jim thought as his eyes flickered between his Lieutenant and First Officer. He noticed the two of them avoided sight of each other as much as possible. Which fortunately for them was easy with nothing going on. Did something happen between them? Jim knew they had had some problems but he thought they got over that. Maybe they didn´t.

Jim wanted to ask them but he thought it would be better to do so after their watch was over and in private. He wondered who of them to ask since Spock was his friend much more than Uhura was and therefore if he was supposed to choose one of them to cause pain to, he didn´t hesitate to choose the Lieutenant. It surprised him but he found himself feeling almost tenderness towards the half-Vulcan, he wanted to spare him from any harm what could possibly happen to him. It was very strange thought for Jim – he had never felt that before, at least he didn´t remember.

He almost stood up to talk to Uhura but then he changed his mind and moved in his chair again. He didn´t notice he had been shifting around all the time, worrying about Spock. He was so dedicated to the problem he didn´t realise he acted strange as well. Chekov glanced at Sulu and they grinned at each other and Chekov used his fingers to signalize number fifteen. Sulu nodded in agreement and silently turned back to his screen before he started to laugh. Chekov just smiled and watched the Captain for a few next minutes. He had to admit Captain Kirk was very distracted that day. Normally he would notice Chekov and Sulu were playing a game of ´How many times the Captain looks at Mr Spock and immediately looks back´, but that day he had no idea. And that made the game a little bit less amusing.

Jim wanted the watch to be over so he would be able to leave his position in Captain´s chair without everybody realising something was wrong. If he left now everybody would be suspicious – well everybody except Spock and Uhura, probably. He had never wanted to leave the chair but now it was almost painful. He was even telling himself how much time was left from the watch – and he was saying it like Spock would. Right now there were seven minutes and twenty-one seconds left, which meant he had about eight minutes and fourteen seconds to think about what he will say to either Uhura or Spock.

Jim shook his head as he realised how strange he was. Maybe there was some disease spreading over the ship, making people act like they would never do normally. Jim smiled as he was sure that was the case. Of course it wasn´t pleasant but at least he knew how to solve that. He decided to go to Sick bay to visit Bones before he made anything including Spock. Maybe they were only ill.

When the watch was over he ran from the Bridge as quickly as possible. He didn´t even try to look over his shoulder and make sure everything was alright. He went to get something to eat and with food in hands he headed to the Sick bay.

„Hey. What is the great Captain doing here?" McCoy came to Jim and took a piece of meat from Jim´s plate. Kirk tried to complain but his food had already disappeared from world so he gave up.

„I have a suspicion there is some strange illness affecting me and some members of my crew and I want you to examine it." Jim sat down and began to eat. Bones had been watching him for a little while and then sat beside him with worried look.

„What the hell´s wrong with you?" The doctor scanned Jim carefully. Captain didn´t look up from his plate because he was afraid he was blushing. Now when he thought about that he realised he was talking like…

„Spock. He´s acting strange. I´m worried about him." Jim murmured even though it wasn´t actually answer for the question.

„You´re acting strange. Damn it, Jim, you were talking like him. Don´t you feel anything strange, don´t you have a fever or-"

„I´m perfectly alright!" Jim´s voice snapped like crack of a whip. His blue eyes glared at the doctor who was very astonished. He had seen his friend angry but this was odd.

„Why did you actually come here? You said you had some illness, didn´t you? So let me examine you."

„I´m sorry. I just… sorry." Kirk´s blue eyes roamed across the room.

„So what is that? Why do you think you´re ill?" McCoy tried to act professionally, but he knew his expression looked like everything but calm. He had seen Jim becoming unhealthily dependent on Spock – whatever the Captain said, he had seen it – and this only proved he was right.

„I feel strange, maybe I´m just bored or something, but I found myself watching Spock all the day and I was talking to myself in his voice and I wanted the watch to be over and… I don´t know. Maybe I´m just exhausted." Jim sighed and put the unfinished meal aside. Bones raised an eyebrow in its direction. Jim usually ate everything what was in his way. Or – as he would now say – in the distance of 10.45 metres from him. McCoy shook his head and took the plate as he was hungry anyway.

„Exhausted?! Jim, I´ve seen you exhausted and you´ve never felt yourself being attracted to the hobgoblin. There is something really wrong with you, maybe you have some kind of the new flu I´ve discovered, I shall examine you later. You´ve said there are other people affected by this illness. Who are they?" McCoy´s sight met Jim´s and the doctor had to look away. There was a shine in Captain´s eyes, shine of determination he didn´t understand.

„I´m not attracted to Spock, Bones. He´s my friend and therefore I have to be concerned about him. If you acted like that, I would be worried as well. It doesn´t have anything to do with any possible feelings I might have for Spock." Jim glared.

„Okay, we´ll discuss this later. But now, who are the other ill ones?" McCoy demanded the answer Jim seemed to be determined to hide.

„Spock, of course. Haven´t I said it already?" Jim frowned as he tried to remember. „And Lieutenant Uhura."

„Don´t you think they might just have some… you know… problems?" Jim looked surprised.

„Do they? I thought it got better with them." Bones shook his head as he found out how stupid his friend could be sometimes.

„Honestly, Jim, sometimes you´re even more ignorant than your Vulcan friend." Bones laughed. Then his expression went to serious again. „Never mind. You really don´t know? They broke up yesterday."

„What?" Jim yelped. He almost waited for Bones to say: „Just joking!" in his weird accent.

„You´re really stupid. They´ve been arguing for a great amount of time. You really didn´t notice, for god´s sake?" The doctor touched Kirk´s forehead to make sure the Captain didn´t have fever.

„Well I might have noticed…Wait! Spock´s been arguing?" Jim asked, surprised.

„You act as if you´ve never seen him arguing."

„But I´ve never seen him arguing with Uhura. Hell, I´ve never seen him arguing with anybody but me." Jim stood up and started to wander across the Sick bay. He always had to be in motion when he was nervous.

„Are you jealous?" McCoy chuckled.

„What?" Jim stopped. „No, of course not, why would I?"

„Because I think you´re pretty attached to Spock and I thought you might be a bit possesive when it comes to him…"

„I don´t have a crush on Spock or anything!" Jim cried and turned around so Bones couldn´t see his cheeks were on fire. It was a spontaneous reaction. He didn´t even know why he said such a thing.

„I haven´t said you had." Leonard had enough wits not to laugh too loudly.

„Why-why did they break up?" Jim whispered, maybe too curious.

„Because of you." Bones knew there were more questions coming so he waited when they were asked. It took Jim much more time he thought it would.

„Me? Why would they argue – and break up – because of me? I´m sure you´re wrong." Kirk stood facing the wall, his back towards Bones as he didn´t want any emotion to be seen and he wasn´t sure he would be able to control himself. He didn´t realise he even held his hands joined on the small of his back just like Spock used to do.

„I´ve heard them. And I´m pretty sure I´m right."

„Why?" The word slipped through Jim´s lips before he could actually think of what he meant by saying it.

„She said he was too obssesed with you and didn´t pay any attention to her. She said she couldn´t stand that any longer and that he should have chosen – you or her." Jim felt his heart beating too fast and he tried to figure out what did that mean. Why did he care so much about why Spock broke up with Uhura. Or why she broke up with him. It was surely because he felt responsible for it and because he didn´t want them to endanger the crew and the ship with eventual disagreements or fights.

„And he said…" Jim closed his eyes to slow his breathing.

„Basically he said you." Bones admitted. „You know what he´s like, he said that shits about logic and so. It was long and nasty as he was shouting at her. I´ve never seen him so furious – maybe even that day Vulcan was destroyed and you made him angry. Oh and after that Khan incident. He was talking so quickly I didn´t probably catch every word but in fact he made it clear you were more important to him than she was."

No answer. Loud breathing.

„She wasn´t very happy to hear that."

Nothing.

„She cried. I knew I shouldn´t have intrefered so I just stood there, but it was terrible to watch. And he was just standing there as if it meant nothing to him."

No reply from the Captain. He clenched hands into fists as he tried to calm himself down.

„He was very cold. At last she asked him to put aside all the logic and tell her who would his heart choose."

Jim felt a strange feeling, almost anxiety.

„He said he would rather not answer the question."

Kirk bit his lower lip.

„She cried and begged him to speak to her."

No sound from the Captain.

„And he turned to her, looking straight into her eyes. And very slowly, without expression, he said – I´m quoting - ´I would prefer not to have to tell you as I´m aware it will cause you pain. But you obviously wish to hear so, I have to say… Jim.´"

Jim bowed his head and hid his face in hands. He didn´t want that. Even if he had sometimes wished those two broke up – for unknown reason – he would never want it to happen because of him. He had a brief moment of feeling strange sort of happiness. Spock and Uhura broke up. Spock was now unattached. Spock was now much more achievable. Jim´s mind started to picture things he had never even thought to wonder about and they were all about him and Spock doing things Spock would probably classify as illogical.

„She told him to go away and never come back. I thought he would ask what it meant as he´s sometimes so slow-witted when it comes to feelings."

Jim finally turned around to face Leonard.

„He did not. He only nodded and left. Without a word. He let her there crying, broken and went away." McCoy sighed and looked straight into Jim´s face.

„Do you know what it means?" He asked silently as he reached Jim.

„That you want to make me feel miserable?" Jim hissed, far more angrily than he intended to. „That you want to make me feel guilty? It wasn´t my fault what Spock did."

„Calm down. I didn´t want any of that. But now you´re aware of that, you have to do something about it. I know it´s hard for you, but you have to solve it. If even you noticed something was wrong it´s really neccessary to do something. You´re their Captain and therefore you should do it, but I´m afraid that since you´re the reason of their problems it wouldn´t be wisest." McCoy shook his head and to lighten the moment he ate the rest of Jim´s lunch.

„Oh, how generous of you." Kirk shouted. „Such a sacrifice. You will come like a knight in shining armour to calm Uhura down when she´s so hurt. And of course you will do it selflessly and not because you have a crush on her."

„And so what? Will you do it?!" Bones exclaimed in return. „Do you think it would calm her down if she saw you when you are the reason why she´s hurt?"

„I don´t want to talk to her. She´s made Spock confused and therefore caused him pain. But I suppose you didn´t even try to look at it from his point of view." Jim turned around and walked towards the door. He didn´t want to stay there anymore as he felt he might do something he´d regret.

„No, I didn´t. What he did was unforgivable and horrible." Bones shrieked.

„Fine. Take your beloved Lieutenant Uhura and do whatever you want to – Good afternoon, Lieutenant!" Jim ran right into said woman. She looked at him with surprise. He didn´t know how much she heard and he didn´t care. Why would he hide his feelings or opinions? He ran away and didn´t respond to her confused calls. Not that she tried too much.

Thanks a lot for reading. Please let me know what you think - only this can make me imrpove my writing. feel free to inform me about any mistake I´ve made because - once again - I´m completely new. Thank you. Live long in prosper.