Written for a prompt left to me on my tumblr.

Lost My Poor Meatball

Bruce, Clint, and Steve were speechless. They were beyond speechless. Their vocal chords had been ripped out of their throats and were being stomped on by frost giants. They simply could not say anything because the sight before them was just. Just.

There were no words.

Darcy Lewis, the young buxom ex-assistant to Thor's girlfriend was sitting atop the kitchen island in an oversized tee shirt and pigtails.

All three men's mouths were agape. Each stood still where they had first entered the communal floor.

"There was an accident," Tony called out from the opposite side of the girl. If it wasn't for the panicked and scared expression on his face, the three men would have attacked him.

Darcy looked up from her spot, holding out a cup with an expectant look. Tony refilled it with some milk and poured some chocolate syrup into it. With a spoon, he showed her how to stir it. "She was in the lab bringing me things to sign for Pepper. And DUMMY caused an explosion with my latest experiment, and all of a sudden she was asking me if I was her daddy and crying."

Walking around the island, he dragged all three men into a huddle where they could keep an eye on her. "Don't tell Pepper."

"Why is she dressed like that?" Steve asked, cheeks pink at the sight of Darcy's pale thighs.

"And the pigtails?" Clint choked, watching as Darcy licked her spoon clean of the chocolate.

Bruce's jaw was still on the floor.

"She was falling asleep in the lab, and was insistent that I read her a book before bed." Tony rubbed his face. It was highly probably that the man hadn't slept in the past thirty-six hours or so, but he looked like it had been two weeks since he last caught some shut eye. "She dragged me out of the lab and brought me up here. She said she needed sleep clothes and my shirt was good night dress. This morning she told me to do her hair." Gesturing at the pigtails, "That's what she wanted."

"All done," she called out in a little girl voice. Clapping, she spun around on the island, crossing her legs and peering at all four men.

They all gulped as more of her skin was exposed. Steve was the first to react and threw his sweater over her legs.

Pouting, she looked through eyelashes at each man. "Can we play now?"

"I have to fix this," Tony whispered as he walked away.

The three men were transfixed with what was before them, they didn't even realize Tony was gone until the elevator doors shut.

"What do we do?" Clint asked.

Bruce turned to look at Steve, expectant.

"Why would I know?"

"You're the leader." Bruce shrugged. He was already attracted to the girl, having to deal with her when Tony wouldn't hide in his labs. Darcy was Tony's PA and had an uncanny knack to get the Stark to do what he needed to (sleep, eat, attend a board meeting or two). The few times they had conversed, Bruce found himself enchanted by her brash and loud personality.

"Breakfast." Steve nodded, coming to a decision. "Miss Lewis, have you had breakfast?" He asked, stepping towards the fridge.

"Chocolate milk?" She held out her mug.

"That's not food," Clint responded, pulling the cup from her hands. "Do you want cereal?" Seeing her nod, he set to prepare a basic breakfast. He tried to ignore the way she would lick her plump lips. Since New Mexico, the archer had found his eye always finding the woman in any room. Seeing her as she was, so innocent and trusting, stirred something in this gut.

Bruce thought it best to let the two men deal with Tony's latest blunder. It was only fair as it was usually his job to take care of his science bro's botched plans. Grabbing the teapot from the cupboard, he filled it with water and placed it atop the stove.

Clapping, Darcy slid off the kitchen island and sidled up to Bruce, pressing her tight body against him. "Tea party?" She asked, eyes wide, and biting her lip.

Swallowing thickly, Bruce kept his eyes above the woman's head.

Steve barely hid his envy at the fact that Darcy was so close to the doctor. The Captain had been nursing a crush on the brunette for a few months now, and he was slowly working up the nerve to asking her out. Just the other day, Thor was giving him pointers for how to spend time with the Asgardian's lightning sister. And now the curvy, bubbly woman thought she was a little girl.

He felt horrible, especially as he realized the woman was not wearing a bra.

"Oh god," Clint hissed, realizing the same thing.

"Maybe later." Bruce tried to hold back the growl. His inner beast wanted to throw the short little woman over his shoulder and hide her from the two other men in the room. He could feel her pebbled nipples, but tried to ignore how it was affecting him.

"No," she stomped her foot. "Tea party!" Reaching for two tea cups, she grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the kitchen towards the sitting area.

"Is it bad that I'm thinking about taking her to the zoo or something?" Clint asked, when he realized that he wasn't invited to the tea party.

"I really, really want to say yes," Steve eventually replied, looking away from the back of Bruce's head. He tried to stop thinking of the odds he would have of hurting the man before he Hulked out. "But I'm thinking a trip to the park or museum would be fun with her."

Pushing Bruce to the ground, Darcy grinned before arranging her two tea cups. She returned to the kitchen and grabbed the teapot before instantly dropping it to the ground. The clattering sound drew the attention of the other men.

Darcy's eyes watered and she held her palm against her mouth. Bruce was too far and Clint stared as her lips kissed her hand. Steve, turning his Captain America persona on, rushed over to her. "It's okay," he whispered, ignoring the whimpering escaping her mouth. Dragging her to the sink, he ran water over the burn, rubbing soothing circles on her lower back.

No longer in pain, Darcy raised her wounded hand to the Steve's face. "Kiss it better?"

Groaning, Steve carded his fingers through his hair. The tightening in his pants was making the whole situation rather difficult. "Okay," he breathed out, caressing her hand before chastely pressing his lips to the burn.

Bruce had to take deep breaths to keep himself from doing something he'd regret. He knew that Darcy was just doing what any child would do when hurt. It was just unfortunate that he wasn't in the kitchen when it happened.

Clint was trying to figure out how to get his turn to hold the girl. Then he shook his head. He could be a bastard, yes, but he wasn't going to take advantage of a woman who thought she was a little girl. No matter how hot she was.

"I'm gone for less than an hour and you already hurt her?" Tony called out while stepping off the elevator. Pulling out a weird contraption from his pocket that resembled a screwdriver, the man pointed it towards Darcy and pressed down on it.

As fast as possible, Clint was behind Darcy, catching her before she fell to the floor. "What did you do?" He seethed, pulling her up into his arms and trying to keep her shirt covering as much of her as possible.

"Brought her back," Tony said, stepping over to the pair.

Steve had his arms reaching out, ready to grab Darcy away from the assassin. Bruce was already in the kitchen, glaring at the two other men, eyes softening when they landed on Darcy.

"She's going to sleep it off. And because Pepper would kill me if anything happened to my most competent PA since her, I'm going to take Darcy away from the pissing contest."

The three men prepared to argue, but Tony had already pulled Darcy into a bride-hold and was walking away.

"Do you know what he was talking about?" Clint asked, putting his hands into his pocket, not looking at the other men.

"No idea," Steve muttered, hiding behind the fridge door he just pulled open.

Bruce was cleaning the spilled tea pot. "Absolutely not."

Too consumed in their own thoughts, they didn't realize they were all thinking the same thing. How to get Darcy Lewis to like them back.

In the reviews, please vote for who you want Darcy to end up with: Bruce, Clint, or Steve. Thanks!