Title: Miles To Go
brAuthor: Kristin
brE-mail: [email protected]
brCategory: Monk/Sharona
brRating: PG
brDisclaimer: The characters in this story don't belong to me, making no
money off of this, and no copyright infringement is intended
p***************************************** pHis newly-bought lamp cast a pale shadow in the darkness, illuminating the picture where her face smiled at him, frozen in time. Trudy had one of those bright smiles that reached her eyes and lit the whole room up.
Monk rubbed his tired eyes once again, then focused on her face once more. The years since her death had somehow faded together into one big blur. It still hurt, he still missed her everyday; in some ways, he figured he always would.
Sharona has a big smile too, he thought. Sharona.
And...Monica. Somehow, she had wedged herself into his heart. Of course, he had been attracted to her, but for all the wrong reasons. Though he tried to deny it, he couldn't help realizing the close resemblance she had to Trudy. It made his heart ache, and made him happy at the same time. Then he realized maybe he was comparing the two too closely. He could never be happy with her; not because she was married- although that was the dominating factor- but because he thought of her as a second Trudy, not as just herself.
Sharona, on the other hand, was a completely different story. From the moment she had walked into his life, he knew things would never be the same. She too had wedged herself into his heart.
Sharona had wedged herself into the part of his heart he was sure would never have a place for anyone else. Though he had told his psychiatrist that he couldn't think about other people until Trudy's murder was solved, it was actually the opposite.
Sometimes, being with Sharona, made him forget for just a moment the throbbing ache in his heart and he could remember Trudy- he could remember her and not come to the point of tears- he could remember her and smile. And that was all because of Sharona.
Indeed, he couldn't imagine going one day without her.
Adrian Monk reached out his thumb and softly stroked the picture of Trudy that sat on his desk. Looking around the room, he noticed the somewhat bare walls.
Allowing himself one more smile at Trudy, he dropped his hand.
It was time for bed; and this night, he thought, would not be haunted by regrets and nightmares, rather, he would sleep comforted at the thought of his "Lois Lane."
Flicking off the lamp light, Monk thought to himself; it was time to get some new pictures.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Sharona peeked open one of her eyes tentatively, preparing herself for the sunlight streaming in through her bedroom window. Finally prying her eyes open, she rolled over and glanced at the clock. As she sat up, she sighed, wishing she could sleep longer.
But time waits for no one, especially me. I've got a son and a Monk to take care of.
She had to smile at that thought, though. As she might not always agree with Adrian and they sometimes butted heads, he wasn't, and never would be, a burden to her. She enjoyed having him around. She enjoyed being needed, above all.
The house seemed unusually and eerily quiet. Benjy left a note for her on the kitchen counter saying he had gone to his friend's house. She called there, making sure he had arrived safely, and then sat down at her table, head on her chin, reveling in the silence.
Yet, it was too quiet. Funny how that happened.
She noticed it had begun to get gloomy, the few tendrils of sunlight still left were fast becoming hidden beneath the veil of stormy clouds.
Picking up the phone, she dialed Monk's number, knowing he wouldn't want to go outside in the rain. When duty called, he would put his hatred for it aside, but if she knew one thing about Adrian Monk, it was that he loathed the rain.
Hurriedly dressing, she grabbed her coat and headed out the door. The light misty rain she had seen earlier turned into a downpour and she was soon soaked through. Though she never minded being out in the rain, she didn't like driving in it.
*~*~*~*~*~*
A knock on the door brought Monk out of his daze. He woke up feeling refreshed and confused at the same time. Monica had left just two days ago, but her presence was still pressing on his soul. His thoughts whirled around him, confusing him, making him question his prior convictions.
Standing up, he opened the door, knowing exactly who it was. He always knew who it was and he smiled before she even walked in. When Sharona was around, somehow things always seemed to fall into place.
"Morning Sharona."
She smiled at him and set her purse down, making sure it was dry before she did so. Monk finally noticed how wet she was.
"Sharona, you're soaked."
"Yeah, it's-it's pouring out there. I was doing like, 25 in a 45 zone. You know how I am."
Monk nodded. Sharona was always very careful and cautious on the roads when it rained, completely contradictory to how she normally drove, he thought wryly.
He grabbed a towel and handed it to her.
"I could uh, make something. Something hot.", Monk said, noticing Sharona had begun to shiver.
"That'd be great, Adrian. Thanks."
A few minutes later, Monk emerged from the kitchen, two steaming cups of hot cocoa in his hands; setting them down on the table, along with two spoons, he took a seat across from Sharona. She lifted the warm mug, grasping it tightly between her hands and letting the heat flow through her cold body. The numbness slowly began to creep out, but her wet clothes still made her shiver.
Monk spooned the hot liquid into his mouth. "Sharona, you're still freezing." He stood up suddenly and paced for a second, figuring out what to do. "I was going to wait until your birthday, but I think you might need it more right now."
Sharona set her mug down and gazed at his retreating figure curiously. Her birthday wasn't for another month; the week after Thanksgiving.
Monk returned with a wrapped gift box, indicating it was some type of clothing. Sharona reached her icy hands out and took it from him, carefully unwrapping it. She gasped slightly at the gift; it was a sweater, a festive sort of sweater, with autumn leaves decorating the neckline. It was beautiful and warm; she was touched that he had thought of her. Pulling the sweater out of the box, she ran her hands over the material fondly.
"Adrian, this-this is wonderful. I can't believe you did this. Thank you. I'm touched, Adrian, really I am."
With the sweater in her hand, she ran towards him and gave him a quick hug before he could react and pull away; then she hurried to his bathroom to put it on.
Adrian sat down, somewhat stunned by her hug. When she returned, he grinned at her. The sweater looked good on her, too good, in fact.
"I-I'm glad you like it, Sharona. Happy early Birthday."
She sat down again, sipping her drink. "Thanks, Adrian."
Her shivering had ceased and now the numbness began to seep out of her entire body, making her feel cozy and at home. The pouring rain was the only noise around them as they sat in silence. Monk looked out his window at the rain and back at Sharona.
"I really hate the rain, Sharona. Do you think it will stop soon?"
She shrugged. "I think it's going to be raining for quite a few days, Adrian. So we've got a cold front on top of the rain; nice."
Monk drained the last of his cocoa and washed the dirty dishes. Drying off his hands, he looked at Sharona and spoke, "I-I want to take some pictures."
She gave him a look that said, 'Yeah, so?'
"Pictures of what, Adrian?"
"You. I mean, you and-and Benjy when I see him again. I-I don't have many pictures of you two; well, none actually. A-and I'd like some."
"Oh. Okay."
Monk walked towards his room and dug out his camera, placing a new roll of film inside of it. He had kept it clean, of course, though he hadn't used it in over a year. Sharona just finished her cocoa and was washing her dirty dishes. Candid pictures were always nice, he thought. Carefully, he crept up and snapped a picture of her doing the dishes.
"Hey! Adrian, I wasn't ready."
"So?"
"Give me some notice next time all right?"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Monk had nearly finished the entire roll, the majority of the pictures he took being candid shots. As soon as he took some of Benjy, he'd get the roll developed.
He placed the camera back in its bag and sat across from Sharona in the living room. An awkward silence passed between them.
"So...you didn't seem too uncomfortable going out with Monica.", Sharona said, approaching the topic with mild hesitancy.
"What do you mean?", Monk asked, wondering what she was getting at.
"I thought you were set against dating."
"I thought I was too, then I met her. Now I'm not sure what I want, or rather, who I want. I can't have her. I don't know if I even want to date anymore. Sharona, I need to solve Trudy's murder. I need to have that peace of mind. I need to put her to rest."
Sharona nodded her head, completely understanding his frame of mind. Part of her was still concerned about him. She wanted him to have someone special in his life to care about again.
"But maybe if you had someone, it could help you. Maybe you're thinking about it too hard, Adrian. Maybe if you focus on other things, it will come to you. I'm here for you and I want to see her murder solved just as much as you. But sometimes, Adrian- sometimes, we wait too long for things and what we thought would always be there, won't. Sometimes, for all the pain you risk by opening up and allowing yourself to be loved again, it hurts worse to be alone."
Monk didn't know what to say after that. Sharona had never said anything so serious. It scared him, because in some ways he thought she was right.
Sharona stood up, grabbing her purse. "I have to go, Adrian. I have to pick Benjy up soon so I want to get dinner started. You can join us tonight if you'd like."
The sun was starting to set and darkness was enveloping the city as night fell. The storm clouds still lingered, covering up the stars that twinkled in the sky.
"Is it still raining?"
She nodded.
"I think I'll stay here. Tell Benjy I said hi."
Sharona stared at him a moment longer and then nodded. With that, she was out the door.
*~*~*~*~*~*
A few hours had passed and Monk kept replaying his conversation with Sharona over in his head. His psychiatrist had told him almost the same thing not too long ago. Solving Trudy's murder was something he still had to do; he wouldn't give up. But perhaps he could try...dating.
Further thought was interrupted by the shrill of his ringing phone. He picked it up and his stomach tightened at the sound of crying on the other end. Not just any crying- it was Benjy.
"Benjy?"
He could hear Benjy sniffle and choke back further sobs as he spoke in a trembling voice, "Monk, mom-mom never came to pick me up when she was supposed to. So-so Mrs.Wallace drop-dropped me off at home and-and the cops came to-to the house."
Monk braced himself, knowing what was about to be said could very well alter his life as he knew it. "Benjy, why did the cops come to your house?"
"Be-because...Monk, the-the roads-they were w-wet. Mom hates dr-driving in th-the rain, you know that?"
"Yes Benjy, I know, I know she hates it. But she's very careful and she pays attention to the other drivers."
"W-well, it w-wasn't enough this t-time. A c-car ran a red l-light and hit her. The cops are here. I-I'm so scared. T-they don't want t-to tell me anything."
"Benjy, put one of them on the phone all right?"
Monk refused to believe anything had happened until he heard it from a cop who had actually seen it.
"Mr.Monk? I'm Officer Gaffney. I was at the scene of the accident. Miss Fleming was hit when another car ran a red light. The driver of that car suffered moderate injuries."
Monk grasped the phone tightly as it shook in his hands. His whole body began to tremble and he felt sick to his stomach. "W-what about Sharona?" He was almost afraid to hear the answer.
"Miss Fleming is in very serious condition, Mr.Monk. You're listed as her next of kin, so I suggest you get to the hospital. Her son is here with us, you might want to get him as well."
"Car."
"What?"
"I-I don't have a car. Sharona-"
"Fine, we'll pick you up in a few. Stay put."
Monk dropped the phone when he heard the click on the other line. He was in a complete daze, couldn't comprehend what had transpired.
The rain was still coming down, harder than ever. He thought about her- if she was still conscious before help arrived. If she was cold and scared. With Trudy-it happened fast. With Sharona....No! She's not dead, he thought.
He answered the knock on his door and vaguely acknowledged the cops. Benjy's tear-filled and puffy eyes looked up at him and Monk put his arm tightly around the boy as he leaned into him. They both got into the police car and sat in the back, hunched over and looking for all the world like lost souls.
Benjy gazed over at Monk in the darkness and asked, "Monk? D-do you think the r-rain will ever stop?"
Monk could no longer hold back his sobs, as the question filled him with such a sadness.
"I....I-I don't know if it ever will." They both knew what the other meant.
And there in the darkness, with the future looming in front of him, a veritable crossroads- the uncertainty of what might happen eating at his very soul and haunting him- Monk bowed his head and did something he hadn't done in years; he prayed.
*~*~*~*~*~*
p***************************************** pHis newly-bought lamp cast a pale shadow in the darkness, illuminating the picture where her face smiled at him, frozen in time. Trudy had one of those bright smiles that reached her eyes and lit the whole room up.
Monk rubbed his tired eyes once again, then focused on her face once more. The years since her death had somehow faded together into one big blur. It still hurt, he still missed her everyday; in some ways, he figured he always would.
Sharona has a big smile too, he thought. Sharona.
And...Monica. Somehow, she had wedged herself into his heart. Of course, he had been attracted to her, but for all the wrong reasons. Though he tried to deny it, he couldn't help realizing the close resemblance she had to Trudy. It made his heart ache, and made him happy at the same time. Then he realized maybe he was comparing the two too closely. He could never be happy with her; not because she was married- although that was the dominating factor- but because he thought of her as a second Trudy, not as just herself.
Sharona, on the other hand, was a completely different story. From the moment she had walked into his life, he knew things would never be the same. She too had wedged herself into his heart.
Sharona had wedged herself into the part of his heart he was sure would never have a place for anyone else. Though he had told his psychiatrist that he couldn't think about other people until Trudy's murder was solved, it was actually the opposite.
Sometimes, being with Sharona, made him forget for just a moment the throbbing ache in his heart and he could remember Trudy- he could remember her and not come to the point of tears- he could remember her and smile. And that was all because of Sharona.
Indeed, he couldn't imagine going one day without her.
Adrian Monk reached out his thumb and softly stroked the picture of Trudy that sat on his desk. Looking around the room, he noticed the somewhat bare walls.
Allowing himself one more smile at Trudy, he dropped his hand.
It was time for bed; and this night, he thought, would not be haunted by regrets and nightmares, rather, he would sleep comforted at the thought of his "Lois Lane."
Flicking off the lamp light, Monk thought to himself; it was time to get some new pictures.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Sharona peeked open one of her eyes tentatively, preparing herself for the sunlight streaming in through her bedroom window. Finally prying her eyes open, she rolled over and glanced at the clock. As she sat up, she sighed, wishing she could sleep longer.
But time waits for no one, especially me. I've got a son and a Monk to take care of.
She had to smile at that thought, though. As she might not always agree with Adrian and they sometimes butted heads, he wasn't, and never would be, a burden to her. She enjoyed having him around. She enjoyed being needed, above all.
The house seemed unusually and eerily quiet. Benjy left a note for her on the kitchen counter saying he had gone to his friend's house. She called there, making sure he had arrived safely, and then sat down at her table, head on her chin, reveling in the silence.
Yet, it was too quiet. Funny how that happened.
She noticed it had begun to get gloomy, the few tendrils of sunlight still left were fast becoming hidden beneath the veil of stormy clouds.
Picking up the phone, she dialed Monk's number, knowing he wouldn't want to go outside in the rain. When duty called, he would put his hatred for it aside, but if she knew one thing about Adrian Monk, it was that he loathed the rain.
Hurriedly dressing, she grabbed her coat and headed out the door. The light misty rain she had seen earlier turned into a downpour and she was soon soaked through. Though she never minded being out in the rain, she didn't like driving in it.
*~*~*~*~*~*
A knock on the door brought Monk out of his daze. He woke up feeling refreshed and confused at the same time. Monica had left just two days ago, but her presence was still pressing on his soul. His thoughts whirled around him, confusing him, making him question his prior convictions.
Standing up, he opened the door, knowing exactly who it was. He always knew who it was and he smiled before she even walked in. When Sharona was around, somehow things always seemed to fall into place.
"Morning Sharona."
She smiled at him and set her purse down, making sure it was dry before she did so. Monk finally noticed how wet she was.
"Sharona, you're soaked."
"Yeah, it's-it's pouring out there. I was doing like, 25 in a 45 zone. You know how I am."
Monk nodded. Sharona was always very careful and cautious on the roads when it rained, completely contradictory to how she normally drove, he thought wryly.
He grabbed a towel and handed it to her.
"I could uh, make something. Something hot.", Monk said, noticing Sharona had begun to shiver.
"That'd be great, Adrian. Thanks."
A few minutes later, Monk emerged from the kitchen, two steaming cups of hot cocoa in his hands; setting them down on the table, along with two spoons, he took a seat across from Sharona. She lifted the warm mug, grasping it tightly between her hands and letting the heat flow through her cold body. The numbness slowly began to creep out, but her wet clothes still made her shiver.
Monk spooned the hot liquid into his mouth. "Sharona, you're still freezing." He stood up suddenly and paced for a second, figuring out what to do. "I was going to wait until your birthday, but I think you might need it more right now."
Sharona set her mug down and gazed at his retreating figure curiously. Her birthday wasn't for another month; the week after Thanksgiving.
Monk returned with a wrapped gift box, indicating it was some type of clothing. Sharona reached her icy hands out and took it from him, carefully unwrapping it. She gasped slightly at the gift; it was a sweater, a festive sort of sweater, with autumn leaves decorating the neckline. It was beautiful and warm; she was touched that he had thought of her. Pulling the sweater out of the box, she ran her hands over the material fondly.
"Adrian, this-this is wonderful. I can't believe you did this. Thank you. I'm touched, Adrian, really I am."
With the sweater in her hand, she ran towards him and gave him a quick hug before he could react and pull away; then she hurried to his bathroom to put it on.
Adrian sat down, somewhat stunned by her hug. When she returned, he grinned at her. The sweater looked good on her, too good, in fact.
"I-I'm glad you like it, Sharona. Happy early Birthday."
She sat down again, sipping her drink. "Thanks, Adrian."
Her shivering had ceased and now the numbness began to seep out of her entire body, making her feel cozy and at home. The pouring rain was the only noise around them as they sat in silence. Monk looked out his window at the rain and back at Sharona.
"I really hate the rain, Sharona. Do you think it will stop soon?"
She shrugged. "I think it's going to be raining for quite a few days, Adrian. So we've got a cold front on top of the rain; nice."
Monk drained the last of his cocoa and washed the dirty dishes. Drying off his hands, he looked at Sharona and spoke, "I-I want to take some pictures."
She gave him a look that said, 'Yeah, so?'
"Pictures of what, Adrian?"
"You. I mean, you and-and Benjy when I see him again. I-I don't have many pictures of you two; well, none actually. A-and I'd like some."
"Oh. Okay."
Monk walked towards his room and dug out his camera, placing a new roll of film inside of it. He had kept it clean, of course, though he hadn't used it in over a year. Sharona just finished her cocoa and was washing her dirty dishes. Candid pictures were always nice, he thought. Carefully, he crept up and snapped a picture of her doing the dishes.
"Hey! Adrian, I wasn't ready."
"So?"
"Give me some notice next time all right?"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Monk had nearly finished the entire roll, the majority of the pictures he took being candid shots. As soon as he took some of Benjy, he'd get the roll developed.
He placed the camera back in its bag and sat across from Sharona in the living room. An awkward silence passed between them.
"So...you didn't seem too uncomfortable going out with Monica.", Sharona said, approaching the topic with mild hesitancy.
"What do you mean?", Monk asked, wondering what she was getting at.
"I thought you were set against dating."
"I thought I was too, then I met her. Now I'm not sure what I want, or rather, who I want. I can't have her. I don't know if I even want to date anymore. Sharona, I need to solve Trudy's murder. I need to have that peace of mind. I need to put her to rest."
Sharona nodded her head, completely understanding his frame of mind. Part of her was still concerned about him. She wanted him to have someone special in his life to care about again.
"But maybe if you had someone, it could help you. Maybe you're thinking about it too hard, Adrian. Maybe if you focus on other things, it will come to you. I'm here for you and I want to see her murder solved just as much as you. But sometimes, Adrian- sometimes, we wait too long for things and what we thought would always be there, won't. Sometimes, for all the pain you risk by opening up and allowing yourself to be loved again, it hurts worse to be alone."
Monk didn't know what to say after that. Sharona had never said anything so serious. It scared him, because in some ways he thought she was right.
Sharona stood up, grabbing her purse. "I have to go, Adrian. I have to pick Benjy up soon so I want to get dinner started. You can join us tonight if you'd like."
The sun was starting to set and darkness was enveloping the city as night fell. The storm clouds still lingered, covering up the stars that twinkled in the sky.
"Is it still raining?"
She nodded.
"I think I'll stay here. Tell Benjy I said hi."
Sharona stared at him a moment longer and then nodded. With that, she was out the door.
*~*~*~*~*~*
A few hours had passed and Monk kept replaying his conversation with Sharona over in his head. His psychiatrist had told him almost the same thing not too long ago. Solving Trudy's murder was something he still had to do; he wouldn't give up. But perhaps he could try...dating.
Further thought was interrupted by the shrill of his ringing phone. He picked it up and his stomach tightened at the sound of crying on the other end. Not just any crying- it was Benjy.
"Benjy?"
He could hear Benjy sniffle and choke back further sobs as he spoke in a trembling voice, "Monk, mom-mom never came to pick me up when she was supposed to. So-so Mrs.Wallace drop-dropped me off at home and-and the cops came to-to the house."
Monk braced himself, knowing what was about to be said could very well alter his life as he knew it. "Benjy, why did the cops come to your house?"
"Be-because...Monk, the-the roads-they were w-wet. Mom hates dr-driving in th-the rain, you know that?"
"Yes Benjy, I know, I know she hates it. But she's very careful and she pays attention to the other drivers."
"W-well, it w-wasn't enough this t-time. A c-car ran a red l-light and hit her. The cops are here. I-I'm so scared. T-they don't want t-to tell me anything."
"Benjy, put one of them on the phone all right?"
Monk refused to believe anything had happened until he heard it from a cop who had actually seen it.
"Mr.Monk? I'm Officer Gaffney. I was at the scene of the accident. Miss Fleming was hit when another car ran a red light. The driver of that car suffered moderate injuries."
Monk grasped the phone tightly as it shook in his hands. His whole body began to tremble and he felt sick to his stomach. "W-what about Sharona?" He was almost afraid to hear the answer.
"Miss Fleming is in very serious condition, Mr.Monk. You're listed as her next of kin, so I suggest you get to the hospital. Her son is here with us, you might want to get him as well."
"Car."
"What?"
"I-I don't have a car. Sharona-"
"Fine, we'll pick you up in a few. Stay put."
Monk dropped the phone when he heard the click on the other line. He was in a complete daze, couldn't comprehend what had transpired.
The rain was still coming down, harder than ever. He thought about her- if she was still conscious before help arrived. If she was cold and scared. With Trudy-it happened fast. With Sharona....No! She's not dead, he thought.
He answered the knock on his door and vaguely acknowledged the cops. Benjy's tear-filled and puffy eyes looked up at him and Monk put his arm tightly around the boy as he leaned into him. They both got into the police car and sat in the back, hunched over and looking for all the world like lost souls.
Benjy gazed over at Monk in the darkness and asked, "Monk? D-do you think the r-rain will ever stop?"
Monk could no longer hold back his sobs, as the question filled him with such a sadness.
"I....I-I don't know if it ever will." They both knew what the other meant.
And there in the darkness, with the future looming in front of him, a veritable crossroads- the uncertainty of what might happen eating at his very soul and haunting him- Monk bowed his head and did something he hadn't done in years; he prayed.
*~*~*~*~*~*