I have wanted to write a Star Trek story for a while and I have finally started one! (Thank you Into Darkness!) Haha, I have also always wanted to try to write a humorous story so, I really hope I did alright :) Warning, I am part of the new generation of Star Trek fans so I apologize in advance if all of my terms/characterization aren't perfect. (this is a new fandom for me! Eek!)

Disclaimer:

Star Trek is not mine
But I shall not whine
'Cause Quinto is so fine
And so is Chris Pine!

Sorry for the long-ish note. Please enjoy and thanks for reading!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~j~t~k~~James Tiberius Kirk was bored. Truly and utterly bored. He and his crew were 3 months into their five year mission and nothing interesting had happened. Nothing at all. Sure, they did get to survey some planets and study some local plant life. Big whoop-de-doo. Kirk thrived on adventure and their time in space had been anything but. So, in his mind, his plan was completely justified. Crazy and probably stupid, but justified.

It had started off like any other of his wild schemes, full of fun and tomfoolery. However, somewhere along the line things started to go wrong.

Now, he was lying in med bay with a very angry Bones, an unconscious Lieutenant Uhura, a heavily sedated Russian whiz kid, and a rather passive-aggressive Vulcan First Officer.

Jim was convinced that it was partially his crew's fault. They should have known that he was heading down a dangerous path of bad scheming and pranks. His bridge officers had missed all of the signs of his declining attention and boredom. So, he reasoned, it just had to be as much their fault as his. Seriously, how did they miss all of the signs!?

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One week earlier.

Sign Number One: Continuous and relentless teasing of Spock and Uhura.

"Keptin on ze bridge!" Chekov yelled happily as Kirk walked into the room. He smiled at the young Russian who was seated next to his helmsman, Sulu.

"Good morning!" The "Keptin" responded. Jim Kirk sat down in his chair and looked around for his First Officer, Spock. He was not located anywhere on the bridge and neither was Lieutenant Uhura. Kirk chuckled to himself, thinking about his friend's secret-but-everyone-actually-knows-about-it relationship with his communications officer.

Kirk was becoming uninterested with the lack of exciting things happening around him so, he decided to have some fun.

"Hey! Where's Spock?...And would you look at that, Uhura is missing as well!" The Captain exclaimed loudly. A few of his officers glanced towards him and smiled while others looked a little upset. Most of the males aboard his ship had had a crush on Uhura at one point and were all crushed when they discovered that she was dating the Vulcan and was unlikely to end it in the foreseeable future. Chekov was the only one who looked confused and unsure of what the Captain was implying. Jim smirked and thought about the hilarity of youth and innocence.

After a moment, Kirk continued his mini speech. "I wonder where they could possibly be? I mean, what are the chances that they are doing something together, hmmm? Strange, that they are both late for duty. Perhaps they were-"

Whatever he was going to say was interrupted by Spock and Uhura walking onto the bridge. The Lieutenant was straightening her uniform and pulling her pony tail tighter as she quickly walked toward her station with the impeccably dressed Vulcan right behind her.

"Well, would you look at that? The two lovebirds have decided to grace us with their presence this morning." Kirk said cheekily, a broad smile on his face. Uhura blushed bright red and began to furiously engross herself in her work.

"Captain, what exactly is a lovebird? I am not aware of such a species." Spock questioned. The communications officer's blush deepened.

"Oh, Spock." Kirk responded with false sincerity as he stood up and walked towards him. "A lovebird is a term humans use to describe two people who are romantically involved with each other." He continued, adopting his best "Spock" voice.

"But Sir, that would imply that Lieutenant Uhura and I are romantically involved." The Vulcan responded quickly.

"Indeed it does!" Jim responded, lightly smacking Spock on the arm. "We all know about you two." He added in a loud whisper. The Captain laughed and headed back to his chair. "Ears burning?" He asked nonchalantly over his shoulder. Spock gave him his best death glare and sat down at his work station.

After about five minutes of silence, Kirk started talking to Sulu. They discussed everything from the planets that they were heading towards to different star formations until Kirk was so thoroughly fed up with the lack of excitement that he decided to once again tease his favorite couple. He snuck up behind Nyota Uhura and whispered in her ear.

"Hello beautiful." She shrieked and jumped about three meters out of her chair.

"Don't you dare do that to me again!" She demanded angrily, glaring at the Captain.

"Do what? Whisper in your ear or flirt? 'Cause flirting is an inherent part of my nature and I know that you secretly like it. "Jim said with a wink. Uhura just threw her arms up in exasperation and turned away from him.

"That is no way to treat your date." He added, noticing that he was not getting the explosive reaction that he wanted from her.

"My date?" She asked with a dangerous edge to her voice, daring her Captain to continue.

"What?!" He asked with feigned surprise. "How could you have forgotten? Tonight I am entertaining you in my quarters." Kirk said with a seductive look. "Since, you are apparently not "romantically involved" with Mr. Spock, you should have no qualms about joining me this evening. " Jim continued brashly.

Uhura finally looked about ready to explode in anger but, Spock had decided to intervene by putting his hand gently on her arm. The First Officer opened his mouth to say something to his Captain but Kirk cut him off. "Just kidding Uhura! Gosh, you really got to learn how to take a joke." He condescendingly patted her on the head and once again headed back to his seat. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Spock whisper something to Nyota, clearly calming her down.

Kirk lazily spun around his chair, looking out at the blank expanse of space before him, his mind blank as well.

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That was chapter one! What do you guys think? Is this worth continuing or not? If so, Chapter 2 is about Embarrassing Chekov. Please review and let me know how you feel about this fic! Thanks and have a wonderful day! Jenna out!