A/N: Slow burn guys, slow burn. Keep them reviews coming and show me some love cos I'm needy. Enjoy my lovelies! aggressively throws cookie in your face

GRIMMJOW

Grimmjow Jacquerjacques was the number one fuckup. His life was not a box of cookies, not a sundae with a cherry top. It was a steamy hot pile of shit and the worst part was that he wasn't able to keep it limited to himself, he's forced to make the life of other's hell as well. The shittier part to that was that he was amazing at it: destroying lives, his own and the people around him included. He also knew what else he was good at. Fighting. He was a fighter. He was good at fighting for his life, fighting to protect. He saw his purpose to live to love and protect those he held close. He wanted to bear their burden. As he viewed it as a fair exchange, for all the lives he has destroyed, he had to make some better. He made sure that he was on the right path and that's what he was intending to do. to put a stop to this hell.

He was naked save his boxers, lying down on the bed with Ichigo. His orange haired lover was currently asleep next to him, the sunset coloured head resting on his shoulder. Grimmjow was overwhelmed with guilt as he studied the expanse of bandages that covered the man. His heart burned and his throat tightened at the sight of the purple blotches that now stained the other's pristine skin, especially those on his cheek. He couldn't stand seeing his lover harmed because of him. Grimmjow took it upon himself to defend those he love, to fight for them. Just like what he had done for his sister, he never wanted her to kill anymore, no more blood on her hands. And yet. yet, here is the man who protected his sister when Grimmjow couldn't. He felt like a failure. He couldn't protect himself, his sister, his lover. Anyone. He couldn't protect anyone.

He had won the last few fights, barely surviving the one before that. His body was actually worse for wear; in a worse state than that of Ichigo but he made sure not to reveal anything to the other man. If it weren't for Szayel and his witch magic he called medicine and science, he wouldn't even be standing let alone walking. He couldn't let Ichigo see him in this state so he wore a thick sweatshirt and some sweatpants. And it wasn't helping that Aizen was being extra cautious with the Espadas, especially towards his own nephew, ensuring that the blue-haired fighter was never out of his sight and reach. Grimmjow had been ordered to stay in the confines of the private mansion and was to be treated there. Usually, he would head on over to Szayel's private laboratory or the doctor would head on over to his own place. This time, no one was allowed to exit the underground unseen. He could feel the cameras zooming in on him and the other Espadas; every move he made, he was sure someone was writing it down. Bodyguards followed their every move, and during the day, there were local gang members sticking round to keep an eye out for them.

During one of his training days at the gym he frequented to, he ran into Kenpachi, who had speculated that the police presence was more active than usual. They were on to something and the Aizen's people were sensitive to sudden pressure. Kenpachi's speculation effectively explained why Aizen was acting so careful, more than usual, the man had to keep his most valuable stakes closest to him. Considering the constant surveillance, it was natural for Grimmjow to keep contact to his private circle minimal and impossible if possible, especially in the presence of the gang members. His phone would never leave his body, kept tightly in this arm or in his waist pocket. He knew there wasn't many people that would contact him or even want to but as he check his phone for notifications, he especially looked out for Ichigo's name. Even then, Ichigo had never once contacted him. For the past few weeks, he had to admit it was odd to him but he never pushed the orange-haired man. And at the back of his mind, he knew that if he were the one to start a conversation, he wouldn't even know what to say.

With the last fight, Aizen, after a long while, was particularly pleased with the outcome, and finally gave Grimmjow the green light to return to his own apartment to rest instead of the mansion. It might've been great for him but his body was in shambles. The match setter were assholes, more so than usual, and had him outnumbered. Grimmjow didin't know if they had great confidence in him or they just wanted to see him suffer after a long while. No matter how a great of a fighter he was, it was an extremely unfair battle considering the weapons they were allowed to carry. He had four opponents to battle and at the final minute, the last two managed to work together, they landed a huge blow on Grimmjow which knew at that moment, it definitely fucked up his legs. It was an unprecedented change of events but Grimmjow managed, his adrenalin running high. He quickly finished them off, putting an end to the foreplay; he aimed for their necks ruthlessly and ended things quickly with one of their knives, his katana still remaining sheathed.

After the fight, Grimmjow had no choice to call on Szayel for medical help. While he was hooked onto Szayel's special blend of some super healing booster in his IV, he made a call to Nel. He made his daily checks to see if she's safe. And the moment she picked up her phone, he heard himself blow a sigh of relief, it definitely was comforting to hear her voice. It made himself feel even better when he heard that she'd been relatively safe and busy. He finally mustered up the courage to ask about Ichigo and that was when she dropped a bomb and mentioned that the orange-haired man was admitted in a hospital. She was hesitant but she knew she shouldn't sugar-coat certain things when it boiled down to something so serious.

Pause.

"What happened?" He wanted to sound unaffected but his own voice betrayed him, worry clearly laced in his voice in its shakiness. His throat parched.

"Some thugs jumped him" It couldn't be.

"D'you think it's cos of Aizen?" He whispered the question.

"I pray it's not Grimmjow. I really do. The town's filled with thugs from different groups, we don't know that." His grip on the phone was tight. And he could hear the strains of the metal as his grip squeezed relentlessly.

"Text me the address I'll go check him out." Grimmjow ignored the fact that he had just finished a fight a mere few hours ago. He ripped the IV right off his arm and looked for his clothes.

"Yeah, you should." Neliel bade her goodbye. Grimmjow sighed, covering his eyes.

Reaching the hospital, he barged to the counter whereby he got news fthat Ichigo had already been discharged. Grimmjow was a little relieved since it meant that Ichigo's condition would not have been that serious since he was allowed to return home.

"Do you think you could reveal what injuries he had? And may I know who he was with?" Grimmjow tried his luck by asking. It was hospital policy for the staff not to disclose information. He asked politely hoping that the receptionist nurse would at least tell him something instead of leaving him in the dark. Sometimes a little courtesy could get you a long way and he knew that from experience.

"Oh, he had some sprains, bruises, minor scratches here and there. Nothing major, nothing broken or fractured. It seemed like he was caught in a fight but it wasn't too bad. He seemed fine enough to walk, the doctor discharged with some painkillers and bandages. Figured that he could just stay home to rest. The young man left with a purple haired lady, his sister I think." the nurse replied dismissively. Her tiny glasses were at the tip of her nose as she was reading the contents of her computer.

"Thanks ma'm" Grimmjow could feel the stress leaving his body knowing that Ichigo was fine. He was happy that at least someone was cooperative with him that day although the nurse looked as if she really could not be bothered.

Grimmjow immediately made his way to Ichigo's apartment. His mind racing and his heart was beating intensely. He usually didn't get nervous but this time he really was. He hasn't seen Ichigo for about a month. What the fuck am I going to say? As he neared the apartment complex, his steps grew heavier. Whatever it was, he knew he had to see Ichigo, needed to make sure if he was really okay.

With a few knocks on the door, his pulse was racing and his fight or flight instinct kicked in. He was so tempted to run down the stairs that he came up from. However, as soon as Ichi opened the door, all his anxiety disappeared. He finally knew why he needed to see the man. Grimmjow missed him. The orange-haired was as mesmerising as the many times they saw each other and his heart yearned as the glimpses of beautiful memory together flashed in his head.

They stared at each other in silence and the both of them took the time to study each other. A lot of things were meant to be said but remain unspoken. His clenched his fist as he saw the other had his arm in a temporary cast, large bruises on his face, and a busted lip. His heart sank the lowest as guilt overwhelmed him. As Ichigo opened his mouth, unable to hold himself back, he embraced the man, seeing him after a long time was a feeling like none he had ever experienced. He naturally yearned for Ichigo's body, his whole being. His voice. The way the man fit in his arms made him childishly believe that it was all meant to be and everything was going to be fine. What a lie.

"Stay with me." He heard his lover whisper. With so much to lose, so much to hide from this man, Grimmjow decided to stay for once.

Ichigo

Next morning he woke up alone. They didn't make love that night since he was sure he wasn't in any condition to do so; and so was Grimmjow. He could tell that the blue-haired man was in a worse condition seeing how he didn't have his usual smoothness in his walk/ They merely laid next to each other, hugging each other close, making the occasional small talk. The close contact and presence was enough for both of them. No need for the rushed pleasure seeking thrill of sex, it was the slow affection, the mental company, that meant more to them. Even then, Ichigo's everything was aching on the inside. Fuck my life

He groaned as he got out of bed. The painkiller wore off and he didn't feel that he should eat anymore if only really needed. Everything hurt and he was alone at home. He headed for the kitchen in his boxers. His medication neatly arranged on the counter and he knew it was Grimmjow who must've organised it for him. He began to boil water for tea when the main door slammed open. He remained unperturbed already knowing who it was

Shinji had let himself in the house. Ichigo had no idea who had given him the key but he didn't bother finding out. He took his phone from the kitchen table and scrolled through his unread messages and emails. There were tons from I.D, Yoruichi, his dad but none from Grimmjow. It left him with an inkling of sadness, thinking that Grimmjow didn't actually care. Ichigo could hear Shinji mucking about the house, probably digging around for some blackmail. Ichigo ate his medication when he recalled what had happened last night.

He remembered being tightly embraced, his face mushed into the other's neck. They both fell asleep and their heartbeats aligned. He figured that Grimmjow thought he had fallen asleep when he heard the man mutter in his har.

"I love you, Ichigo." He didn't know what to feel at that moment. And not knowing how to react, he just tossled in his "sleep", turning away from Grimmjow. That was when he truly fell asleep, the exhaustion finally kicking ing.

Ichigo tossed his phone aside as he kept on thinking. He knew he also loved the man. But this time, it's not that straightforward. The single night with Grimmjow was riddled with uneasy tension, all the talking and answering was on his part and the questions and grunting by Grimmjow. Ichigo knew that the other man was holding alot of things back. As he hugged Grimmjow last night, he could feel the thick wrapping of bandages around the other man's torso and the latter didn't say anything. Ichigo could feel the other man tense and he was so very tempted to lift his sweatshirt to see what other secrets the other man was keeping but he knew he shouldn't push it. Grimmjow wasn't the simple man that Ichigo had expected. He knew that Grimmjow had not been lying, but he just didn't say anything. Ichigo could not blame the other man nor could he blame himself for being naive. The whole situation was a huge clusterfuck and Ichigo groaned in pain. He knew that the gangsters jumping him had some connection to Grimmjow and he figured that they had caught on to the relationship he has with the blue-haired man. He just didn't expect for the issue to be that serious, for him to be attacked, it meant that Grimmjow had powerful and scary associations. When he began to draw some connections, his heart began to sink as he was worried that the underground might target his own family as well.

Leaning over the kitchen counter, Ichigo shook his head and shoved his face in his palms, outright frustrated and beat. He was tired of all this. He sat on his couch, was his love for Grimmjow worth the risk?

A few days later…

Ichigo mostly remained at home. Everyday there was always somebody who came by, checking up on him. He wondered how some of them even knew he was on house arrest. Neliel came by often, so did Yoruichi and Shinji. The twins also visited and so did his dad. All of them never failed to bring him food and on some days they were even accompanying him to his dad's clinic for a his regular check ups. Life's been mostly stagnant and it was a rest he so desperately needed.

Ishida and Shinji absolutely disallowed him from doing any form of work. So, they kept him on the down-low and told him nothing of their upcoming projects. Having no other things to do, he stayed home watching random documentaries. Similarly, his relationship with Grimmjow was at the same place where it ended. They hadn't met or actually talked since their last meeting. It was an uneasy tension that he knew was going to blow up someday. He just didn't know when and he feared that one of them was going to lose more than just a simple heartbreak.

On this one particular night, Neliel had come by after her shift at the cafe. She had brought food from Ramo's and he could feel tears welling up in his eyes. It was so amazingly good and the spices reminded him that there was indeed love in his life; not just bland, stale or salty. They were currently sitting at his "makeshift" dining table which is basically the living room coffee table with the couch moved aside so they can sit on the floor, the tv left on and running in the background. The sound of the news droning on as they were busy eating and conversing with each other. They made conversation about the most random things since they were largely caught up and regularly in contact with each other. Neliel talked about hiring new baristas and changes to the menu while Ichgo gave his opinions and shared what he random facts he learned about the underground coffee trade or whatever nonsense things he was watching documentaries on. Something about the ease and comfort on that day made him grow enough balls to decidedly ask about the most sensitive topic: Grimmjow. It came out of nowhere. But he knew it was the best time to ask.

"Hey, Nel. What does Grimmjow do exactly?" her chewing faltered a little. Her reaction was immediate but it was obviously controlled. He could almost see her wince but she hid it while playing with her food. Boom, he dropped the giant G-bomb.

"He's a fighter, Ichigo. Obviously you know that." Her eyes shifted anywhere but on his face, her tone suddenly sounding a little uncomfortable. It was just these few moments her baby-like voice dipped in pitch. A little too quiet.

Ichigo stopped chewing altogether. He looked at her. Really looked at her. And she almost didn't dare make eye contact but she did. He could almost see her gulp in anxiety.

"He's a cage fighter in Las Noches, isn't he?" Ichigo gripped his chopsticks tightly, aware of the sudden tension in the room.

"How do you know?" She took a second to consider his question, and quietly asked. A look of resignation in her eye.

"I saw him in the underground a few nights ago. He was wearing some white uniform and there was this fight," Ichigo took a deep breath. "He slashed someone's frickin head off with the katana, I couldn't-". Ichigo choked up, his hands waving around and wanting to continue continue when she intervened.

"Wait. Wait. Wai- How'd you get in?" She interrupted him before he could even finish.

"I-I went with a friend and he, she made a pass. She was-" he just replied out of confusion.

"Okay, stop." Neliel began to sound frantic and her expression seemed nervous. Did I say something wrong? "I need you to remember something quick. That day when the thugs came for you, did you see what they were wearing or how they look like? Did they say anything about where they were from?" Neliel enquired, almost in a hurry.

"Umm, they had red markings on their faces? Tons of scars, I think there was like a number tattoo on all of them, I saw a 76 on this guy's neck and this other dude ha-" He listed the few features that he could recall as he attempted to recollect.

Immediately Neliel stood up on her feet, dropping her chopsticks on her empty plate. "Oh shit!" Her messy bun and her shorts flapping with her sudden movement. She jumped over him to get her bag and packed her stuff, hurriedly making her way throughout his house. He could hear his curtain and windows being slammed shut.

"Nel, where, wha-?" Ichigo sat there confused, watching her zoom back and forth. He could hear her mutter some garbled mess under her breath. As she finished running across his rooms, she was standing by the living room window. She locked them shut and closed the curtains. That's when she finally looked at him, very seriously. And it was difficult to take her seriously because she looked a mess.

"I gotta go. I need you to listen to me: no matter what, don't go out alone. Always have your phone with you. If there's any trouble, you run to the nearest crowd and you call the police." Then she rushed out. Ichigo couldn't react fast enough to understand what just happened.

Grimmjow

Grimmjow could feel the headache approaching as Szayel kept babbling about his miracle cure. Apparently his body's healing process had vastly improved considering the previous wounds on his thighs were already mostly healed. To be frank, Grimmjow couldn't feel the sore in his muscles any more and that he could walk almost as well as he had before. He knew Szayel was an intelligent person but he was sooooo weird. He keeps asking Grimmjow for fluid samples and he swore he heard something about what he would do if Grimmjow died. Just as Szayel plucked the last of the remaining stitches, Grimmjow's private phone began to ring. Grimmjow was hesitant at first but he trusted his fellow Espada. Furthermore, they were at the pink-haired man's private lab so he was pretty sure that security was next level. He knows for a fact that Szayel is only dabbling in medical practice, his specialty lies in experimentation and weaponry.

Grimmjow picked up the phone at the third ring. He knew the identity of the caller since Neliel had her own special ringtone. As if her face and name flashing on the screen was a less obvious sign.

"It's him Grimm. They did it to him." Neliel's voice was panicked, rushed. He could hear her panting and it sounded as if she was running.

"What? I can't underst-" Grimmjow tried to get her to talk slower

"Aizen!" It was a hushed but loud whisper. "He sent those men to get Ichigo!" his heart dropped.

A pause. Grimmjow didn't say anything. He couldn't say anything. He could only hear her laboured breathing and then the sound of her electronic locks at her front door. She must've reached home.

"Ichigo saw you at Las Noches. And they must've figured it out with his hair colour. I bet they got him on CCTV and placed a mark on him or something. It's him Grimm, I know it's him. Only he would do that sick shit to us. And the other day when some Adjuchas attacked him, Ichigo saw their numbers. It's a warning Grimmjow. He's on to you." She was mostly calm and he could hear her moving around the house.

"Where are you?" He asked in a soft whisper. His voice barely coming out as his whole body was tense. He was pretty sure phone was beginning to make weird plasticy noises in his grip.

"I'm home. I ran back here and hid my trail. I'll be safe, we both know that, but Grimm, Ichigo isn't protected. Aizen, Aizen he- he's playing with you, Ichi-" Grimmjow hung up.

He immediately stood up, pushing Szayel to the side, the other man precariously rolling back in his wheeled chair. The man stared at him with the magnifying glass still attached to his eye. He marched down the hallway, pulled up his pants and tied his boots. He busted out of the other man's main door and took a lift down to the basement where the other Espadas would often leave their vehicles. Szayel's lab was close to the docks, the whole building used to be part of a dental implant production factory, it still functions as it is but it's used as an alibi moreso than actual business. Most of the Espadas like Szayel, Nnoitora, Hallibel had ZERO intention of staying remotely close to Aizen's secluded mansion since it was filled to the brim with Adjuchas. All of them waiting and wanting, wanting to be an Espada. And now, Grimmjow was secretly happy that the other Espadas chose to live together, so that means he could just borrow one of their vehicles. He saw Hallibel's motorcycle and the key was hanging on the handle just like all the other vehicles in the hidden garage. His vision was bloody red and he needed the fastest transport to Aizen's mansion. He was downright furious. Nothing at that fucking moment would have mattered, all he needed to do was to wreck chaos.

As he entered the property, he zoomed past the forests/gardens and basically ignored the security, but nobody could stop him. He parked the bike near the main door and stormed upstairs. Anyone in his path he shoved aside and as he stepped into Aizen's office, he was not there. And Grimmjow wanted to scream as he stood near the man's table but as Ulquiorra and his lackeys walked in, "everyone out except Cuatro". Grimmjow quietly asked of them. The two guards looked at each other, not moving a muscle. Not having the patience, the sexta grabbed a nearby pen and threw it, like a dart, aiming for one of their necks and it landed. The pen jutting out of his neck right above the man's Adams apple, the strength of the throw embedded half the pen through the meat. All in three seconds of shock and blood began to spew as the pen dropped on the ground. The other guard finally got the message and ran out of the room, the giant door finally sliding close. The bleeding man was in shock trying to stop the blood, he dropped to his knees on the floor and tried to drag himself out of the room. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra just stood at their position but the tension was palpable. Both of them were facing the main door and they barely made eye contact.

In the same position, with his hands behind his back, the raven haired man simply walked out of the room. His steps steady and balanced. Quiet. As if the scene before did not happen. He made sure not to step on any of the blood but the avoidance didn't look purposeful, it looked natural. Just as he reached the exit, Grimmjow grabbed the other man by the neck and shoved him on the nearby wall. Grimmjow could feel the frail human neck in his grip but he knew not to underestimate this man he was holding. He knew that the man allowed himself to be shoved around.

"Why? Why? He is innocent!" He was gritting his teeth but Ulquiorra could understand.

"You are not doing enough Sexta." Fucker. He had known the whole time.

"I fought nine bouts in a row alone this month." He didn't understand why but he knew he was pulling more than his own weight. There was no other justifiable reason in his mind. He gave Aizen what he wanted. Now, he was here and he had to know. It just was frustrating.

"That's not what he wanted."

"I FUCKING BEAT THE DAMN FIGHTERS. I KILLED THAT LAST ONE! WHAT ELSE DOES HE WANT FROM ME?!"

"Aizen wants fear Grimmjow. Death and gore doesn't matter. People do not fear the Vasto Lorde, they do not fear the Arrancars, they do not fear Aizen." The expressionless man replied, not bothering that he was slowly being lifted off the ground.

"What's the point of killing hundreds of people in a cage fight? They lost anyway and the money's still coming in." He loosened his grip and the man stood at his place. Throughout the whole time, Ulquiorra never once changed his expression. His face is like stone, just like the man's heart. That was when he knew that appeasing Aizen was impossible.

"It is not about the men, Jagerjacques. It is about you. You aren't loyal to Aizen, Sexta." The Cuatro concluded. Grimmjow looked away, millions of thoughts running around in his mind.

It is true. It was all because of Aizen then.

"You are supposed to be the embodiment of destruction Grimmjow and you are not fulfilling your role." That's it then. Grimmjow didn't need anymore explanations. He finally set his mind right.

"The man wants death and destruction as proof of loyalty," Grimmjow muttered to himself. But he wanted Cuatro to hear.

"He will get what he wants." Grimmjow walked out of the room, leaving the other man alone. This time he said it out loud.

Grimmjow was going to kill Aizen once and for all.