I sighed as I stepped onto the bridge, seeing the way Kirk was looking at his first in command Spock. It broke my heart every time I saw the way Kirk looked at Spock. I saw the affection in his look, the feelings he harbored for the half-vulcan. Unfortunately I knew those feelings were not returned by Spock, he was in love with Nyota Uhura. Kirk knew his feelings weren't returned too.

I stood just off the elevator onto the bridge, watching the way Kirk watched Spock. His eyes were tender and he had a small smile on his face as he observed the emotionally stunted man. I enjoyed seeing Kirk like that, looking almost happy and relaxed despite his stressful job as captain. I wish he could look that way towards someone who could return his feelings. He deserved to be happy and there were many who would be willing to give him the affection he deserved. I knew that for a fact because I was one of them.

I gave a small smile as I walked up behind Kirk, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Hey Jim. You can't avoid me forever you know, this ship isn't big enough." He turned to look at me and gave a bright smile.

"Bones! Glad to see you out of the medical bay. Come to see what the real workers on this ship do?" He tried looking innocent and changing the subject but I just raised my eyebrow at him causing him to give a sigh of defeat. "Alright, I'll come for my physical." I chuckled because he made it sound like such a hardship.

"Thanks so much Jim." I said sarcastically. With that I stood beside him, waiting for him to get up. "Spock you have the control." I grabbed Kirk by the arm and dragged him off the bridge, not giving him much time to protest.

Once we left the bridge Kirk decided he could walk on his own and I let go of his arm reluctantly. I had enjoyed the small contact I had with him, one of the reasons I enjoyed being his doctor despite him fighting tooth and nail against me.

He walked beside me on the way to the medical bay quietly. I knew he was thinking about Spock, I could tell by the longing look on his face. I felt my heart break slightly at that. I wish he would think about me that way. I led him into the medical bay and pointed him towards a biobed. I set up a scan while I went to grab the hyposprays he needed.

I brought the hyposprays back to the biobed as the scan finished and I checked over his scans. "You seem to be in good health. I just need to give you these shots and you should be good to go once you regain consciousness." I smiled sympathetically at him before I stabbed the first hypospray into his neck.

Since the medical bay wasn't busy I sat beside Kirk's bed while I waited for him to wake up from his shots. I watched him sleep, smiling at how relaxed he was when he was sleeping. He looked so much younger like that. I gently brushed some hair out of his face, my stomach flipping at being able to just touch him.

As his eyes fluttered opened I quickly yanked my hand away, smiling down at him. "How are you feeling Jim?"

He gave me a glare as he sat up slowly. "I feel like you stuck me with four hyposprays. You are sadistic Bones." He grumbled as he finally sat up. I put my hand behind his back to help him stay upright.

"Well I wouldn't have to stick you with so many at once if you came and saw me when I tell you to." I grinned down at him as he pouted. No one got to see this side of the captain of the Enterprise, not even Spock. I treasured every second of it.

Once I sent Kirk off I took the rest of my shift to think about his feelings for Spock. I was worried about him getting hurt in the end. I had heard the nurses gossiping about something that would lead to his heart getting broken and I would do anything to protect my best friend from that.

Kirk was off when I finally got off my shift and though I was exhausted because we had an emergency surgery right before I got off I tracked him down. He was in his quarters when I found him, writing up some reports. I stood inside his door for a few minutes just watching him as he hadn't noticed me yet. He eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he worked under the lamp at his desk. The light illuminated his face, casting a glow on the shadows under his eyes and the overall tiredness of his face. He looked beautiful but so tired it hurt to look at him.

"Working hard Captain?" I joked as I went and sat down on his bed. I leaned back against the wall and smiled at him. He turned to look at me, a bright smile spreading across his face.

"Bones, you've already tortured me once today so what do I owe the pleasure of this visit to?" He grinned as he spun his chair to face me. I ignored the fluttering of my heart and the flipping of my stomach.

"Sadly this isn't so much a social call... I need to talk to you about something that's been worrying me." I felt sad when his grin faded, a serious look coming over his face. He nodded his understanding, probably believing it had something to do with the ship or the medical bay. "I know you have feelings for Spock." I held up a hand as he went to deny it. "Don't deny it Jim. You are my best friend, I notice things like this concerning you. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about it because I don't want you getting hurt."

Kirk got up and started pacing, wringing his hands nervously. "I figured someone would notice eventually. I suppose there is no hiding it from you since you are my best friend. I just…" He scrubbed his hands over his face as he paced. "I wanted to keep it a secret so when it finally goes downhill no one would be the wiser."

I watched him pace, feeling my heart ache for him. "So you know what I'm here to talk to you about. Spock doesn't like you that way, he is in love with Uhura. He might not say it but it is obvious to everyone that he loves her. I'm not saying this to hurt you Jim, I'm saying this out of concern for you. I don't want to see you hurt." He looked at me while I said this, pain clearly showing in his eyes. I wanted to stop the conversation right then but I knew I had to get it all out. "I'm not saying what you feel doesn't matter because it does, it means more than you can ever know but I just want you to know that when the time comes I will be here for you so no one else has to see you in pain."

I bit my lip, hoping he didn't notice my slip up. I revealed more of my feelings to him than I had wanted to. Luckily or more correctly unluckily Uhura banged the door open then with a bright grin on her face.

"Captain I have some amazing news I have to share with you! Oh Doctor McCoy, You're here to, that's perfect." She said excitedly. I knew what was coming and I looked at Kirk. He gave Uhura a smile, none of his feeling showing through easily except if to those who knew him well. I saw the tightness of his smile and the sadness in his eyes. He knew what was coming. "Spock proposed to me! We are getting married when we visit New-Vulcan. We will also be having a ceremony when we return to Earth next."

I smiled at Uhura. "Congratulations to you both. I will have to say that to Spock when I see him next. I am happy for you." I meant what I said. I was happy for Spock and Uhura but I knew it was breaking the person I loved most in this world's heart. She grinned back at me.

Jim smiled and walked over to her, pulling her into a hug. "I am so happy for you. If you need anything just let me know." When he pulled back he was still smiling but I could see that he was barely holding himself together. Uhura didn't seem to notice, she grinned as she left the room.

As the door closed behind her Kirk collapsed on the bed, tears in his eyes and his face in his hands. I didn't know what to say as I pulled him into a hug, stroking his back softly as he started to sob, his heart breaking.