"You two gonna be okay?"

Jack didn't answer as she pushed passed her commander's outstretched arm and into the mess hall. Embarrassed at being caught in such a petty argument, Miranda quickly returned to her desk. She had been feeling off all morning, and the last thing she needed was for half the crew to witness her in a moment of immaturity. They hardly showed her any respect as it was, what with the almighty Shepard wining over their hearts and minds in an instant.

These days it seemed she had become nothing more than a nuisance. The emotionless puppet of the Illusive Man, constantly breaking up the fun and reminding everyone to focus on what was likely to be their final mission.

Hey everybody, don't forget about your impending doom.

"It's a good thing you can by when you did," She finally offered when she didn't hear the commander leave. "As long as she does her job, we'll be fine. Thanks, Shepard."

Miranda refused to look up from her computer as she spoke. There hardly seemed to be a moment where Shepard and her weren't butting heads, and before yet another argument cropped up she wanted to get the woman out of her cabin as quickly as possible.

It wasn't as though she couldn't handle another conflict; it was just that there was always something odd about confronting the Normandy's captain. Afterwards, Miranda always felt ashamed, almost like a traitor.

There was an incredible sense of loyalty to Shepard on this vessel. Hell, even the shackled AI seemed to have developed a rapport with the woman. There was no figuring out how for Miranda, but the commander simply had the innate ability to draw anyone in, even the Cerberus operative herself.

Though I'll never admit it.

With everyone on the ship as her best buddy, Shepard always won her and Miranda's frequent squabbles in the crew's eyes. Though Miranda was more annoyed by Shepard's blatant disrespect for her opinions, the consequences of this were quite isolating. It appeared as though only Jacob could stomach her presence, and then more out of obligatory Cerberus comradery than anything else.

Well Jacob, and Shepard.

In fact, Miranda had the sneaking suspicion that perhaps she was the last member of Shepard's crew to remain, at least outwardly, unaffected by attempts at friendship. The Commander frequently made stops by her room to talk, even though they continually ended their conversations with heated words and stony glares. The two women never outright yelled at one another, they were much too civilized for that.

And that's how I'm going to keep it.

"What the hell was that, Lawson?"

Or maybe not.

Still refusing to look up from the terminal in front of her, Miranda responded evenly, "I'm not sure what you mean, Commander."

Shepard moved in front of her desk and leaned towards her XO with a fiery look in her eyes, forcing Miranda to meet her gaze. It wasn't the same glare the woman was used to facing down however. There wasn't that burning resolve to win the debate with the underlying glimmer of excitement at the prospect of worthy competition. There was something else this time, something Miranda wasn't used to seeing in Shepard.

Rage?

No.

Annoyance?

No.

Sorrow.

Frustration.

Disappointment.

"You really don't know?" Shepard whispered.

Miranda tilted her head to the side quizzically, but said nothing.

Shepard sighed then, and Miranda was amazed by how tired she looked in that moment. There was none of the childish joviality she was so used to seeing from the Commander, only the vacant neutral look of the truly exhausted.

"I settled that diplomatically because we all need to be able to work together until we can see this through, but god, Lawson, why would you even say something like that?" She shook her head, "That's so unlike you."

Unlike me? Me? The Cerberus cheerleader?

Miranda , though incredibly confused, put on her usual collected front. As always, the Commander was being her emotionally charged, incoherent self, and she would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy coming off as the composed one in these instances.

"Shepard, Jack barged into my room and demanded I apologize for something I was never a part of. I wasn't going to-"

Shepard held up her hand, "I don't care about that. Why did you say that those experiments weren't wrong? Why did you defend them?"

Miranda's stomach plummeted. There was such disappointment in Shepard's voice. Why was it affecting her so strongly? Oh god, how she wished Shepard would just get angry. Yelling she could deal with, screaming she could take. But this quiet regret on her behalf? It was maddening.

"The people who did those things weren't sanctioned by Cerberus to-"

"I don't give a shit about what Cerberus sanctioned, Miranda. I want to know about you. The Illusive Woman, what does she say? What does she sanction?"

Miranda audibly swallowed, Shepard's face was mere inches from her own. Something within her was stirring, a primitive ancient emotion she had never quite accessed before. It was bubbling at the bottom of her stomach, making its way through her veins in a desperate attempt to overtake her.

"I can't-" She paused to lick her lips nervously, "It doesn't work like that. I follow orders to better humanity's future. Would I have conducted those experiments on my own? Of course not, no. But if something similar happened and it could dictate the future of humanity I would do whatever the Illusive Man ordered-"

"Bullshit!" Shepard practically roared as she slammed her hand down on the desk.

Miranda didn't flinch, but her heart was pounding furiously in her chest. This was infinitely worse than any altercation they had had previously. She could feel her emotions slipping away, her resolve wearing down. For weeks Shepard had steadily been chipping away at Miranda's loyalty to her organization, and now she had finally brought out the sledgehammer.

The Perfect Woman tried desperately to hold on to another human's beliefs. She couldn't let go of the person all those people in her past had made her. The moment she did she'd have to be somebody all on her own. She would have responsibility for her actions, for her doubts, her mistakes, her successes. Miranda would have to own every aspect of her life, make new orders to follow.

Just stop making me feel so bloody guilty.

In that moment Miranda Lawson was undoubtedly secure in the fact she hated Commander Shepard with a passion.

"You wouldn't, Miranda. You would stand up to him, you would say no, just like I would."

Shepard smiled then, and Miranda realized with a twinge of horror that the woman looked almost smug. As if for weeks she had been trying to prove a point and had finally succeeded.

She stood up from the desk suddenly, and the two faced each other down, Miranda glaring in defensive anger and Shepard smirking arrogantly.

"You have no idea what I would do, Shepard. You know nothing about me."

The words flew out of her XO's mouth like venom, but Shepard remained undaunted, "I know the important things. I know you would say no because you couldn't do those 'tests', any of them. You could never hurt a child like that."

Miranda's stomach began performing its nervous little flips again. How dare she assume she would know how Miranda would react when she herself had no idea? Where did this sudden confidence come from? Where the hell did Shepard get off having so much faith in her?

"You don't know that," Miranda finally sighed out in a barely audible whisper.

"I do," Shepard reassured her while walking around the desk so she was standing directly in front of the other woman.

Miranda flinched slightly as Shepard collected her hands in hers, before being overcome with the desperate wish that her damn suit wasn't covering her fingers as the idea of having her naked palm flush against her commanding officer's was suddenly overwhelmingly enticing.

As soon as the thought broke into her mind, Miranda frantically tried to force it out. Something unforeseen was happening on her mission, something operative Lawson was quickly realizing she didn't have any sort of control over. Those tiny flips her stomach had been doing that she had equated to nervousness abruptly revealed themselves as shockwaves of anticipation, shot into her very core.

All at once, realization struck Miranda like a bolt of lightning, and the unforeseen transformed into the inevitable as Shepard rested their foreheads together lightly.

Just don't say anything that will force me to love you.

"Because you're a good person, Miri."

Their lips collided in a passionate frenzy, completely out of Miranda's control.