Being bonded to Sam was heaven.

Dean didn't want to call it bound, because that word felt like it wasn't a choice to be with Sam like this, so he called it bonded.

And it was the best decision he had ever made.

Being bonded with Sam had brought him permanence of the best kind. For such a long time, their life didn't have that. The only thing that they could both rely on aside from pain and hardship was up until recently was each other. And now, life was a little better.

Because he had Sam.

The bunker, which Dean had after just one day quickly deemed The Batcave, was everything they could hope for in a home. Even though the place was huge and only three people lived there – Sam, Dean, and Castiel (most of the time anyway) it still felt warm and welcoming. It even seemed like the things they hunted on a regular basis were taking a break.

Dean really couldn't complain.

He heard Sam snoring beside him, facing away from Dean. They had fallen asleep in each other's arms, but at some point in the night had separated. Dean turned his head to look at the clock on his nightstand – it read 9:30. He decided now was as good as time as any to get up, and he turned on his side and pressed his body to Sam's warm back.

Dean moved aside Sam's hair and kissed down his neck, his lips just barely grazing over the warm skin there. Dean found himself kissing his soulmate more and more often, and he did it every chance he got. It was the sort of affection and love that Dean had wanted to give Sam so very badly for a long time, and now that they had privacy and a roof over their heads that they wouldn't have to check out of after a day or two, he could give him just that.

"Sammy" he said gently, running a hand through his hair. "Day's getting old and we have stuff to do." He wasn't lying. They had been taking inventory of everything in the bunker since the day after they moved in, and they weren't anywhere close to being done. Sam uttered a sleepy groan and opened his eyes. "One day I'm just going to ignore you and keep sleeping, you know that right."

Dean climbed over Sam to face him. "Trouble is Sammy I won't let you." Dean kissed him on the forehead, his stubble rasping against his younger brother's skin. Sam's response to draw the covers up to where just his eyes and nose were showing.

"Very mature Sam, come on." In spite of the fact that he loved Sam very much, he found waking him up to be aggravating. Sam wasn't a morning person. Dean started to get up, but a hand on the waist band of his boxers drew him down, and suddenly found himself in Sam's lap, his younger brother smiling at him.

"Oh is this what you wanted?" Dean's temporary frustration was already gone.

"Yep." Sam kissed him good morning, a warm and tender contact full of love. Sam tried to deepen the kiss, but Dean backed off from him. "Nice try Sammy but you're just gonna have to wait. I'm still recovering from last night." Sam smiled as the memory of him riding Dean ghosted through his mind. "You mean the marathon that started yesterday afternoon?"

Dean sat up to move out of Sam's lap. "Exactly Sam. My hips are still awfully sore." He rose from the bed and stretched. Sam laid back down, upside down to look up at Dean. "Not my fault that you couldn't keep your hands to yourself while I was trying to make you lunch."

"And it's not my fault that you look so damn sexy walking around shirtless in nothing but a pair of gym shorts."

"My shirt was dirty from shifting through all those books. And unless you wanted a dusty sandwich..."

"I know, I know, you just had to take it off." Sam stood and put his arms around Dean's waist.

Dean kissed him again. "You know I can't resist you."

Sam hugged him close to his chest. "Don't want you to Dean."

Little moments like this had become quite common between them, and as a result they had gotten that much closer to each other. Sam closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of Dean's hair, his body warm in his arms.

They heard a knock at the door. Sam let Dean go and crossed over. Cas was standing there, eating a bowl of cereal. "So the two of you are awake. Good – I need your help." Ever since bonding them, the angle had changed, becoming slightly more human every day. Sam couldn't help but smile at the way Cas looked at him, his hair sticking up all over the place, wearing a gray t-shirt and blue-checked sleep pants. It was like they had gained a younger brother who was constantly fascinated by everything, including the sugary cereal that he was currently eating.

"We'll be right out Cas, promise." Sam shut the door and turned back to Dean, who was pulling a t-shirt over his head.

"Is it just me Dean, or is Cas seeming more and more... not Cas like."

Dean held up a pair of worn sweatpants, deciding that they were suitable for the time being. "Not at all Sam. Makes talking to him easier. And believe it or not, he actually got a joke I made the other day. It took him a minute, but he got it."

Sam chuckled at the image of Cas trying to process the joke, head cocked to one side.

Dean tossed Sam a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, saying "Come on, let's go figure out what it is he needs before he burns the place down."

. . .

As it turned out, Cas was just having trouble with the toaster, not quite grasping the concept of having to wait for the toaster itself to be done, not when Cas wanted. Watching the angel's face when the toast had popped up had been priceless, and both Sam and Dean had laughed uproariously when the angel fixed them with an angry that's-not-funny face. After slinking off with a plate of toast and a boiled egg, Sam and Dean were left to clean up the kitchen.

Sam was washing his plate, the sink filled with warm, soapy water. They only thing the place didn't have was a dishwasher, so they did it the old fashioned way.

Dean came up behind him, putting his arms around Sam's stomach, kissing the back of his neck as he did so.

Sam paused for a moment. "May I help you?" Dean's constant hugs and kisses were 100% okay with Sam.

"Nope. Just want to stand here for a second and talk."

Sam resumed washing and said "Alright. I'm all ears."

"I know that we didn't exactly uh, get married in the traditional sense of the word but... Sam, I kinda want to go on a honeymoon."

Sam smiled and pulled the drain plug, drying his hands on the towel he had to the side. "I thought three days without leaving the bedroom save to eat was your version of a honeymoon."

Dean nipped at Sam's neck at the memory. "That was a very good three days, wasn't it?"

Sam turned around to face him. "A most excellent three days." A hint of lust creeped into Sam's eyes, and he could feel himself starting to get hard.

Dean felt Sam's body and said "I'm serious Sam. I really want to do this with you. Anywhere you want to go."

Sam thought for a moment and said "Up to you Dean. So long as I'm with you. We could stay here, go somewhere, I don't care. Just as long you're there with me."

Dean kissed Sam on the lips, putting a hand on the back of his head. This time when Sam pressed his tongue to Dean's mouth, Dean let him in willingly. He gently pushed Sam backwards, leaning him against the counter. Dean tasted like the coffee and eggs he'd eaten awhile before hand, and his body was warm in Sam's arms. It was moments of spontaneous intimacy like this that kept Sam in a near-constant state of bliss.

That and Dean loved him more than anything else in the world, and Sam loved Dean back even more.

Sam broke the kiss and asked "Dean what exactly does this, not that I'm complaining, have to do with the discussion were were just having?"

Dean hooked his fingers in the waistband of Sam's shorts and said "I was thinking about licking tequila and salt off your body on some sandy beach. I think that's where I want to go."

Sam's body quickly responded to the idea of Dean's tongue all over it, and Sam's breath hitched in his throat at the thought. "Tell me more." Sam swallowed, his mouth having suddenly gone dry.

Dean reached into the back of Sam's shorts and cupped his ass. "Want to lay on a beach, watching that beautiful body of yours soak up the sun. Want to roll over on top of you and kiss you, let the water wash over us. You know, full on rom com crap. Except it won't be crap Sammy, because it'll be me and you."

Sam's mouth hung open, not quite sure what to say. It truly did sound incredibly appealing, he just wasn't expecting to hear it from Dean. "Dean that... really?"

Dean nodded his head. "Remember the time Dad dropped us off in Port Aransas to go and hunt some poltergeist up the coast?"

The memory came to Sam's mind. "Sure do Dean. Wasn't too long before I graduated high school. He left us in a motel and said 'If you drink, be quiet about it.' First time I threw up from alcohol. I remember you sitting next to the toilet with me, saying to just keep going, I would feel better. Wanted to kill you for letting me drink so much."

Dean chuckled and said "You're the one who swore they could drink half a bottle of rum in one minute Sam, not me."

Sam looked a little sick at the memory. "And I haven't touched rum since then. Bad memories there. Aside from that, I remember not wanting to leave."

Dean withdrew his hands from Sam's pants and said "I didn't want to either. Want to know why?"

"Why, Dean?"

Dean turned slightly red. "Because that was the first time I touched myself to you Sammy. I thought that maybe if we had one more week there, we could... maybe you would want to..." Dean couldn't bring himself to finish the thought.

Sam kissed him on the top of the head. He put his mouth to Dean's ear and said "You know we can do that now, right? Hell we can get the same motel if you want."

Dean's smile seemed like it stretched from ear to ear. "Really?"

Sam nodded again. "Yeah. Dean, that sounds perfect actually. When do you want to leave?"

Dean's smile shrank a little bit. "See that's the thing. We don't exactly know when we can. Evil shit crops up all the time."

Sam looked a touch crestfallen. "Yeah, I know. But now I really, really want to go."

Dean chewed his lip for a moment. "You know what? Fuck it. We'll call Bobby up, let him know we'll be off the radar for awhile. We've been kicking ass since we moved into this place anyway." They had been, traveling all over Kansas to clean up messes and put things right.

Sam's smile lit up the room. "This time, you won't have to touch yourself either." Sam reached down and rubbed the front of Dean's sweatpants, finding that his older brother was very much hard. "Looks like someone's very interested in that though." Sam started to push down on the waistband of Dean's pants, but was stopped.

"You know Cas could walk in on us at any second." Sam couldn't help but notice that Dean had his hand pressing up against the outline of his own erection.

Sam bit at Dean's bottom lip, earning himself a little moan of pleasure. "And does that not turn you on just a little bit? Knowing he could see us like this? Bet he'd be jealous Dean." Sam gripped Dean's hard one a little bit tighter through the cotton, causing Dean to moan again.

Sam took this as initiative. "You know he's got a thing for you. Whether or not he knows it, but I can see it on his face. Trouble is, you're mine Dean. No one else is allowed to touch you." Sam's head dipped to bite Dean's neck, not hard enough to hurt but enough for Dean to gasp. "Mine." Sam's hand moved from its position on Dean's waistband and went right into his pants, and Sam squeezed his cock, just a little harder than necessary. "Mine."

Dean's response was to kiss Sam harder than before, their teeth clacking together. Sam moved a hand to reach around to cup and squeeze at Dean's ass, and right as he was about to push Dean's pants down, they were interrupted by a swear in Enochian.

Dean's head snapped to where the sound came from, and he saw Castiel standing there, empty breakfast dishes in his hands, a strange look in his eye. Sam moved behind Dean to put his arms possessively around him, kissing Dean on the back of the head as he did so, Dean's erection painfully obvious in the front of his sweatpants.

"Dude get off me." Dean said in a low voice.

Sam just chuckled and said "Not a chance big boy."

Cas moved closer to where they were standing and set his dishes on the counter. "For your information Sam, I do not 'have a thing' for Dean. Just because I am not only his but your guardian angel does not mean I express sexual interest in him. Besides, I know better than to not come between what the two of you have. Does it fascinate me? Naturally. In heaven, it is still enough of a curiosity that interest cannot help but be taken. But I promise that I harbor no feelings of a carnal nature towards either of you." Cas looked quite satisfied with his answer.

Sam relaxed internally, and even Dean stopped fidgeting in his arms. "Cas, can we ask you a favor?"

Cas nodded his head. "Of course."

Dean drew in a breath before speaking. "Sammy and I want to go on a little vacation, just the two of us."

Cas canted his head to one side. "A honeymoon?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah. It's something that we really haven't had the chance to do, so we we're hoping you would just keep an eye on things on the whole... evil thing."

Cas's tone was surprisingly sympathetic. "I understand. Just let me know when you will be ready and I will make the necessary arrangements." He bowed, which Dean thought to be very odd indeed, and left the kitchen.

As soon as he was gone, Sam said low in his ear "Want to keep going?" His hand traveled back into Dean's pants, gently stroking him, making Dean shudder.

"Sammy..." Dean's thoughts were an incoherent mess. He knew that they had things to do, and he wanted to get them done so they could have more time for this, but Sam's expert hand tugging at his hard on was making it really difficult to focus on anything else. Instead, Dean leaned back into Sam's touch, craning his head back for a kiss, which Sam gave him gladly. He placed a hand on the side of Sam's face, holding him there, not at all wanting to leave his touch. Dean didn't want to call himself addicted to having Sam's hands on him, but he knew that in his heart he was. And he didn't care in the slightest.

Sam extracted his hand from Dean's pants and turned him around, deepening their kiss even more. Dean felt his toes curl as Sam rubbed circles in his back, releasing the knots that had formed while he was asleep. This wasn't attempted seduction, not a move to get Dean into bed so soon after yesterday's marathon lovemaking session – this was just Sam letting know how much Dean meant to him through physical contact.

Sam gently broke the kiss but still held Dean close. Dean wasn't sure why he said what he said next, but he did it anyway. "Thanks Sammy."

Sam hugged him, putting his head on his shoulder. "Anytime Dean. Really."

They stayed like that for awhile, just holding each other, suds in the sink slowly going away as the water got colder.

. . .

Later that afternoon, Sam was in the library, cataloging a section of books on plants. He didn't know that he would ever need all this knowledge on botany, but here it was. By some stroke that he was sure was a miracle, everything was in English, making digesting the information at hand even easier. He was organizing his fifth book on the uses of witch hazel when he heard footsteps approaching. He picked his head up and pushed his hair out of his eyes.

Dean smiled, holding up a plate with what looked like a mouthwatering meatball sub on it. Ever since they had moved in, Dean had cooked or prepared nearly every meal. Sam had insisted that he could make his own food, but Dean wouldn't let him. Sam normally just watched, a mixture of love and admiration in him as he watched Dean work his magic on whatever cut of meat happened to be in front of him at the time.

Sam took the plate from him, and settled back into his chair. Dean watched his face expectantly, waiting for Sam's reaction. Sam was right about the mouthwatering part – whatever Dean had done to this, it was beyond delicious. "Dean this is amazing." Dean smiled like a kid at Christmas, and that made Sam smile too.

"Glad you like it Sammy." Sam polished off the sandwich quickly, not realizing just how hungry he had gotten. He pushed the empty plate away from him and rubbed his stomach, his hunger sated. "Dean, I have to ask. And I know that there's stuff you keep to yourself, and that's fine but... how the hell did you learn to cook so damn good?"

There was a twinkle in Dean's eye. "A combination of Bobby, cookbooks that I would steal from thrift shops, and the desire to make sure you were well fed Sammy. You know that's always been my top priority, right?"

Sam reached out for Dean's hands, and Dean gladly threaded his fingers through Sam's. "I do Dean. I know that I was a pain in the ass when I was younger too."

Dean just smiled and said "But you know what? You were my pain in the ass. Always have been, always will be. Except most of the time these days it's from you giving it to me like a champ." Dean winked, and Sam couldn't help but laugh.

Hearing Sam laugh was a sound that Dean would never tire of hearing, because it was always genuine, never forced. That and Sam would toss his head back, leaving his neck exposed for the world to see. Dean suddenly had the urge to go and sit in Sam's lap, so he did. Sam had given the green light long ago that if Dean wanted contact like this, Sam would willingly and gladly give it.

The chair was plenty large enough for both of them to be in comfortably, so Dean straddled Sam's strong thighs, putting his arms around Sam's neck and kissing him, kissing him just like his Sammy liked, sweet, tender, and deep. Sam was still chuckling deep in his throat as Dean drank in his taste, a mixture of the sandwich he had just eaten and something that was just Sam, a cool fire that Dean was convinced came right from his heart.

Sam placed his hands on the sides of Dean's hips and drug them upward, carrying the edges of Dean's shirt with them. Dean raised arms and pulled the shirt off, the cool air of the library causing his skin to break out in gooseflesh.

Sam immediately pressed Dean's body closer to his. "Cold?"

"Little bit."

"Bet I can warm you up real good." Sam's hands traveled upwards, warm palms dragging across his older brother's skin, watching as Dean's flesh warmed up under them. He brushed his thumbs over Dean's nipples, making him gasp. "Sammy..."

Sam's look turned wicked and he went for the hardened bud on the right side of Dean's chest, his teeth just barely grazing over the dark flesh. It was all Dean could do to keep himself steady as his back arched, the pleasure centers in his brain ringing loudly. Sam knew that this was all it took for Dean to get him to agree to anything, and right now he was more than willing to let Sam do with him as he pleased.

Just as suddenly Sam's mouth was gone and he sat back in the chair, his arms still on Dean's waist. "Aw, don't leave me hanging hear Sammy."

Sam just looked up at him and smiled. "Gotta save something for the trip, don't we?"

Dean groaned and said "Sammy if you're gonna make me wait that goddamn long I'm going to kill you."

Sam put a comforting hand to the side of Dean's face and said "I promise I can make it worth your while. I mean really, really worth your while. Just be patient."

. . .

Three days later, and they were on their way south. Dean had insisted on driving the whole way, and for Sam to just relax and look pretty in the passenger seat beside him. Arriving in the mid-afternoon on the third day, they found Port Aransas, Texas to be largely the same. It was still the same little resort town, pleasant looking shops and sandy white beaches. If a place could ever be classified as peaceful, then this was it. A rush of memories came flooding into Dean's mind as he pulled up to the same hotel that they had stayed in years previously.

The Blue Gulf Hotel had changed since the last time they had been here. What had once been a rather dilapidated complex now gleamed like new, fresh paint and buildings standing proudly against the bright blue sky overhead.

Sam went around to the trunk and stood next to Dean. "It's changed a lot in nine years, hasn't it?"

Dean put an arm around Sam's waist. "Sure has Sammy. Sure has." He looked over at his brother and said "Sure has."

Sam kissed Dean on the side of the head and said "Come on – let's get unpacked. I want to make some memories here Dean – ones we'll remember forever."

Yeah, this week was going to be awesome, Dean thought as he followed Sam into the lobby.

. . .

As it turned out, one week turned into two. It had been nearly fourteen days of nothing but sun, surf, and sex. Morning sex, afternoon sex, good night sex, you look hot in those swim trunks.

And it wasn't enough.

Sam very quickly found out that after laying in the sun for awhile with a cold drink of some sort made them both horny and greedy for each other. His body had never felt so blissed out and sated for such a long period of time. If this was what heaven felt like, then eternity was going to be terrific.

It was the day before they had decided to leave, and they were wrapped in each other's arms, the moonlight streaming through the window. This was the one night that they hadn't made love, neither wanting to be sore driving tomorrow. Dean was lying there with Sam's head on his shoulder, absently stroking his hair, Sam all sun-kissed skin and pliant happiness.

Dean hated to ruin it, because it was as close to perfection as they had ever gotten, but there was something that had been nagging at the back of his mind for quite some time. He knew it was going to make Sam uncomfortable, but he had to know.

Dean took a deep breath. "Sammy can we talk for a minute?"

Sam snuggled a little closer and said "Of course Dean."

"I know that... that this is a sore spot for you Sammy, but it's something that I've been chewing over for a long time now, but do..." Dean took another deep breath. "Do you think we would have this if Jess hadn't died? If mom hadn't died? Hell if Dad was still here too."

Dean could tell that Sam wasn't enjoying this conversation, and he immediately wanted to take his words back. "Dean... I don't really know, to be honest with you. I've thought about it too, actually. Do I think Cas was right, him saying that we're soulmates? Since I was old enough to think for myself, absolutely. Of course, before it was just soulmates as in brothers, friends. That's something I always wanted. Dean I've never been in the least bit scared of the closeness between us. For a long time, it was the only constant thing in my life. And I when I was at Stanford, Dean I missed you. I missed you a lot. I never really fit in with the people there, save for Jess and her circle of friends, and even they regarded me with caution. But this, what we have now Dean? I don't know."

Dean's emotions were swirling around inside him, a maelstrom of feelings that he didn't relly know how to address. "I wouldn't have pushed you if you didn't want it Sam. I knew that when we were here, all those years ago, that you were it. I knew the first time I came with your name on my lips, that was it. And Sam, I would have rather been alone rather than forcing something onto you that you didn't want. I'm not happy that she died Sam. I'm not happy that any of our loved ones have passed, because it still hurts. I know how much she meant to you Sam, I really do. I know you would have been happy with her, and that's what would have made it okay Sammy. I know that you would have been happy, and that would have been worth it."

Sam wasn't sure when he had started crying, but hot tears were currently running down his face, running down Dean's body. Dean just held him, letting him cry, because he knew that he was the one who had made him feel this way. But this was a thing that would grow and get worse between them, so it was best to hash it out now.

After awhile, Sam's sobbing subsided, and the five year old boy who sought Dean's arms after a nightmare was suddenly all over Sam's face, and Dean hugged him tight, closing his eyes and kissing him on top of the head, saying over and over again "I'm so sorry baby boy."

Eventually, Sam picked his head up, his eyes swollen and puffy. His voice was broken, but he spoke anyway. "Dean I... I don't ever want you to feel guilty, or wrong, or bad for wanting me like this. The way life has treated us – Dean we had no idea. I don't blame anyone but that demon for what happened to the ones we've lost. But after hearing you say that... Dean it breaks my heart. And the thing is, I know you would have been hurting. I know that inside you would be messed up, tormenting yourself. And I would have done my best to make it go away. And if that meant giving myself to you... I probably would have done it anyway. Because Dean, you mean the fucking world to me. You always, always have. And this..." He gestured down at their bodies. "I think it would have happened anyway. Listen to close to what I'm going to say next Dean, because I don't ever want you to forget it. I rejoice every morning when I wake up next to you. I thank heaven every night before I go to bed holding you in my arms. The way that this happened, the way that we came together that first time and all the times after that, these last two weeks – I'm not saying the way it all happened wasn't messy, or painful, or good, but what we have now and for the rest of eternity? It's the most wonderful, perfect thing that has ever happened to me. I know that we've seen and experienced some truly awful, terrible, soul-crushing shit, but after all of it, this has been worth it. Me and you Dean. Together. I love you, and I will to the end of time."

The tears had started afresh on Sam's face, and he pulled Dean to his body, letting him know that he was there, and Dean cried, cried harder than he ever had before in his life. All of the guilt and pain that he had kept buried deep, deep down for so long worked its way to the surface, washing out in his tears against Sam's body, Sam's hand on the back of his head, rubbing it, letting Dean know that it was all okay, that he wasn't going anywhere, and that he never would.

It was getting close to midnight before they both were out of tears to cry, and the way that Dean looked on Sam when he was done, Sam knew in that moment that from now on, life was going to be better.

Dean wiped away the tears from his face with the back of his hand. "Sammy, I promise I'll never make you hurt like that again."

Sam hugged him and said "I'm glad you did though. It just would have gotten worse, and you know it. But let's promise each other right here and now that whatever left over crap from our past is gone. We know it happened, but that's just it – it's done. No more tears over this. From now on, Dean I'm gonna do my best to make you the happiest guy on Earth. Deal?"

Dean smiled, and this time it felt more genuine than it ever had before. "Want to shake or kiss on it?"

"Both."

. . .

Three days later, Sam and Dean entered the bunker, expecting the worst. Castiel, despite his best intentions, was still getting the hang of technology and other human objects. They found the angel sitting in what they considered to be the living room, sitting cross legged in the floor with his back to them taking apart a bit of machinery that he had found somewhere.

Dean held up a hand to stop Sam, peeking just in the door to see what it was, and then they collectively jumped when Cas said "Aha!" and whatever it was he was holding let forth an ear-splitting wail. Both Sam and Dean put their hands over their ears, and Cas turned around to face them, looking like he had discovered a gold mine.

He shut the thing off and said enthusiastically "Sam, Dean, you're back! Look at what I have!' Dean took the object from his hands, turning it over and over. "Uh... what exactly is it Cas?"

Cas looked proud as he explained. "I've repaired the security system. If anyone tries to break in, that's what they will hear. I've also finished cataloging all the books and machinery here. After the first week you were gone, I really needed something to do aside from watch all of the movies that you had suggested. Dean, whoever this Chuck Norris guy is, I don't like him. But Sam, Jet Li is terrific." He moved between them to go and place the thing back wherever it had come from.

When Dean looked back at Sam, his younger brother was smiling smugly.

"Chuck is still the best." Dean turned to move out of the room.

"You're just mad because Cas liked him better." Dean held up his hand and flipped Sam off.

"Is that a promise Dean?"

Dean paused and said "It can be."

Sam smiled and followed Dean up the stairs, already knowing that everything was going to be alright.