"It's finally that time again folks," yelled Joker

"My favourite time," cheered Harley Quinn

"TIME FOR SURVIVOR: JLU EDITION!" yelled the clowns glad to be back at last.

"Alright peeps, now I understand that it's been literally forever since we've had an episode," said Joker "I also understand that you lesser humans have bad memories, isn't that right Harls?"

"Of course, Mistah J!" agreed Harley Quinn cheerfully "So without further ado! TIME FOR PUDDIN'S RECAP!"

"Previously on the Survivor: JLU Edition," started Joker having pitched his voice to sound like Don LaFontaine (AN: the "in a world guy") "Last time, we had finally gotten rid of ol' Faceless, that was fun."

"I never really liked him in the first place," interjected Harley "Gave me the creeps."

"Really, you're calling him creepy?" said Flash incredulously. The four leaguers remaining in the competition had filed in as the two clowns had been doing the introduction.

"Ya you're dating the freaking Joker, and Q is creepy?" piped in Green Arrow.

This then devolved into a very weird argument about creepy quotas and how at least Mistah J had a face and at least the Question wasn't a homicidal maniac, (so he tried to kill Luthor, IT WAS ONE TIME). The fight was about to get physical when-

"STOP INTERRUPTING ME!" was yelled by the Joker. The comments and the ensuing fight had completely cut off his apparently very awesome recap.

Everyone immediately stopped arguing, Harley Quinn immediately started apologizing. "I'm so so sorry Puddin' I was just saying you weren't creepy…Do you wanna start your recap again?"

"No."

Batman's Confessional

"No? The Clown loves the sound of his own voice…"

"Why not Puddin'" asked Harley

"Cause it was ruined," explained Joker.

Apparently the Clown Prince of Crime, the Ace of Knaves, the bane* of Gotham City was pouting, like a five year old. His bottom lip was out, his arms were crossed and he very nearly stamped afoot. Instead of coddling him like expected Harley Quinn did something very un-Harley Quinn like. She ignored him, turned away and continued.

Everyone stared in awe…

Wonder Woman's Confessional

"Good, she deserves better, honestly the way that man treats her… What just cause she's a horrible villain doesn't me she should have to put up with him."

"Any who," said Harley with a very large, psychotic smile "Do you heroes wanna play a game?"

"What type of game..." asked Flash nervously. Green Arrow also looked very uncomfortable.

GA's Confessional

"Do you blame me? Honestly that woman seriously is terrifying."

"What we are doing here today is playing NO POWERED PAINTBALL!" said Harley with her ever-present manic energy.

"Paintball?" asked Diana "Isn't that a little juvenile?"

"That means Flash will be great at it…" interjected Batman

"HEY! Bats I thought we were friends," replied Wally in a mock offended voice.

Flash's Confessional

"He's not wrong; I was Central City champion two years running…"

They all stopped talking when they noticed Harley glaring at them… well Batman just glared back at her.

"It's not juvenile Miss Swimsuit, paintballs hurt," replied the Harlequin "Any way there will be one 30 minute. To win you must hit the most people. You will receive a point for each person you hit. Each time you are hit you will lose a point. If you win you are invincible this round. ARE YOU READY HEROES?!"

Suddenly Joker who had been sitting in a corner jumped up and yelled "AYE AYE Captain Harls!"

Harley was not actually waiting for the leaguers "GOOD CAUSE YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO GET TO THE WOODS!" and so they went.

Five minutes later at the woods all the leaguers were at different entrances to said woods to avoid in the Joker's words some 'stupid trickery on Batsy's part'.

Each leaguer at their entrance had been equipped with a paintball gun and ammo…they would hear a noise to tell them to begin at any moment. So they waited.

And waited,

And waited,

And waited when suddenly-

"BLAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH" sounded the blow horn and they were off.

*Five minutes in*

Each hero went for different strategy… First Batman went for finding a spot near a bush and staying there hoping to ambush people, essentially he was camping. Batman is a camper.

Wonder Woman was an Amazon and not joking around, in five minutes she'd had to prep Diana had gone full camo.

Green Arrow wasn't extremely worried about stealth but he was putting his almost unmatchable accuracy to good use… he was hitting people before they realized he anywhere near them.

Flash was showing why he'd won twice, even without his speed; he was a perfect balance between stealth, speed and accuracy he was doing ridiculously well…for now.

*Ten Minutes in*

Batman's strategy was good, he just wasn't. His stealth was fine, no one was hitting him…he also wasn't hitting anyone. Batman didn't do guns, even paint ball guns. Despite his unerring accuracy with Batarangs he laced gun skills.

It wasn't surprising when he got hit by several silver paintballs courtesy of the shrubbery (AKA his girlfriend) to the left.

He was about to shoot her back when he had to dodge a red ball of paint to his rear and a green ball in front of him…when Batman recovered Diana was gone.

So far Flash was still golden…well red due to the lack of paint on his costume… Diana had gotten one shot on him but it was fine he'd gotten Bats and Arrow enough to make up for it.

The game was going well.

*Seventeen Minutes in*

Diana was having a great game, not only had she'd not gotten hit yet at all (despite Bruce's many attempts) but she'd caused GA and Flash to hit each other enough times for her to know she was winning.

Flash had found a flaw in Green Arrow's strategy. So far GA had been focusing on being sniper he had even found a great perch…but he was so focused on attempting to snipe Diana and Bruce.

Flash's Confessional

"Honestly attempting to hit Di is a lost cause, and I can't believe Bats is camping I mean c'mon,"

Let's just say after Flash was done with GA it looked kind of like Christmas…green and red.

"My favourite time of year," said Flash racing away

*Twenty-Nine minutes in*

It was the last minute and everyone was scrambling around paying less attention…well the guys were Wonder Woman was still in camo. This meant that Batman's camping was finally paying off Green Arrow and Flash kept passing him as they traded paint back and forth he'd mark them with a black ball of paint.

Wonder Woman was in a tree pelting Bruce with silver paint…he was really bad at this.

Wonder Woman's Confessional

"HA, I knew there was no way he was good at everything… I'll have to tell Zee."

"BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" sounded the air horn.

The leaguers left the woods every single one of them covered with paint…except Wonder Woman she was just as clean as when she entered.

"Alrighty then," started Harley "TIME FOR POINTS!"

"THAT'S RIGHT HARLS," said Joker obviously recovered from his earlier… episode "In first we have Wonder Tits with thirty-six points having hit each person twelve times while not getting hit all. Nice job Wondy."

"OOOO CONGRATS GIRL POWER!" said Harley Quinn holding up her hand for a high-five which Diana returned awkwardly.

Wonder Woman's Confessional

"Umm… What?"

Harley Quinn's Confessional

"Men are dumb okay…dammit I miss Red."

"Next we have Speeding Stupidity with twenty-eight minus six points, Go Flashikins! You got second…" said Joker.

Flash's Confessional

"Second's cool I don't see why he's complaining…"

"After that," continued Harley having recovered from her episode "we have Green Sleeves with twenty eight points minus..."

At this point she paused hoping to create suspense of some sort…

Green Arrow's Confessional

"…WHY CLOWN WHY?"

"Nine points, so essentially Quicksilver is still beating you, Hawkeye," continued Harley Quinn after her looooonnnngggg pause.

"And last and the least we have BATSY," said Joker with a relish "With ZERO POINTS! Haha Crappy Crusader take that you hit people twenty times but also got hit TWENTY TIMES!"

The Joker then dissolved into body shaking giggles…

Batman kept his signature glare and said "I don't do guns."

"ANY WHO!" yelled Harley Quinn over Joker's hoots of laughter "Flashikins, Batsy, and Blondie! I'll ya at the Beach of Shame later.

Later on the Beach of Shame the three leaguers were just chilling…Well Flash and GA were talking about the latest league gossip (apparently Fire and Ice had finally told everyone they were dating). Bruce on the other hand was muttering in to his cell phone about contracts…

Suddenly Joker and Harley emerged from the ocean… they both were covered in seaweed.

Harley Quinn's Confessional

"According to Red it might be good for the skin? It was Mistah J's idea."

"Today we say goodbye," started Joker sadly "To one of you, dear heroes."

"You say goodbye to one us every day, Joker," said Batman at a monotone.

"Very true Batsy," replied Joker cheerfully "Fortunately it's never you. YOU'RE SAFE!'

"Great," he then walked away to go brood or something.

"So who's leaving Puddin'," asked Harley Quinn "A) Flashdance or B) Robin Hood?"

"IT'S B) Blondie Hood, Harls," cackled Joker "Time to go back to Sherwood, or Starling? Where ever the hell you live."

Flash sighed in relief, saluted Oliver and sped away.

"IT'S STAR CITY! I LIVE IN STAR CITY!" yelled Ollie as he got on the boat and sailed away.

"Well that was fun," said Joker "BYA BLONDIE!"

"Sure Mistah J," said Harley "BYE ROBIN HOOD!"

"BYE AUDIENCE," yelled the clowns "We'll see ya next time on SURVIVOR: JLU EDITION!"

*Not that Bane... at least I think Im funny (hangs head in shame)

AN: ...Um sorry? That's all I really can say. For ten months I just couldn't motivate myself to write anything, I'm super super super sorry.

On a lighter note don't forget to vote and review for who you want eliminated, only three left guys! The Paintball idea was given to me by BioshockerN7 so thanks dude. I can't promise next chapter will be up next week but you guys wont have to wait more then two weeks I promise. -Bella