Warning! Alright, so this fic contains cross-dressing, Daiba being harassed by men, m/m, and OC/Daiba sooo... I'm not really sure why people want to read it. But there is protective dad Harlock, so that's nice. This first chapter just has the cross-dressing, so if you're intrigued by that but want to skip everything else, just stick with the first part.

Usually I'd be apologizing at this point, but I'm not going to this time. You can't make me! Shockingly, it was requested that I post this here. Anyway, I apologize for any mistakes and hope you're entertained.

Undercover mission made it sound like they were going to be spies with fancy gadgets and tuxedos and classy alcohol that had the girls falling all over them. That even seemed to be the way the plan itself was leaning – crashing a formal government party in order to keep an eye on all the lazy bastard generals while some of the other men stole some data from the government bureau.

Daiba had eagerly volunteered for the party group, because hell, they really didn't need to do anything other than make sure a few men stayed in place. And in the meantime, he'd be able to enjoy being in the company of some actual girls. Well, other than Kei. She didn't really count.

"They're probably going to recognize you," she noted, frowning at the tablet in her hands. "You're going to need a disguise like the captain." She tilted her head, studying him. A slow smile spread across her lips. "I have just the thing."

"We're not going to rent a tux?" he called to her back as she started down the hall.

She paused, glancing back at him in amusement. "No, why would we rent…? Anyway, I've got something perfect for you already. Don't worry about it."

He gave up with a slight shrug and headed back for his own room. It seemed better to trust Kei with his outfit choice than any of the men.

They'd be taking space wolves down in order to go in without getting caught, or hopefully without getting caught, so they couldn't change into formal wear until they got to the ground.

They had to take an entire box of disguise kit tools just for the captain, who needed to be at the party in case the officials noticed something wrong. He'd said it would be easier to knock them back when they didn't have any weapons on them, but Daiba wondered how the captain planned to do that without a weapon of his own. He still wasn't happy to have to leave his own Dragoon behind.

They left only a few hours after having planned the mission, having such a small window of time to work with. "Alright," Harlock began sternly on the way down. "No drinking. We're here to observe. You can hold glasses of alcohol, but avoid actually drinking any. If you get drunk, it's not my fault if you get left behind. It's fine if you have some fun, but you have a job to do so…"

Daiba missed the rest of the lecture after zoning out. He stared with interest at the nearing pinpricks of light from the city, mirroring the stars above with the inky black of the unlit buildings.

"…So don't leave any drinks unattended," the captain concluded as they landed near a modest house at the edge of the city. The hacking group had landed elsewhere in order to prepare for their own portion. If something went wrong, it was Daiba's group that was supposed to be chased. He hoped to avoid that.

The woman inside the home cooed over the captain like an overbearing mother as Daiba and Kei tried to hide their snickering. "You probably saw the car out front," she nodded. "It can go up to 400 kilometers an hour. Try not to crash it, would you dear? I don't think there would be bodies to recover."

"I'm a fine driver, Anita," the captain assured her. "I shouldn't need to go that fast anyway."

She eyed him sternly as Kei dragged the smallest pirate toward the bathroom. "What are you doing?" Daiba grumbled.

"You need to shave."

The teen ran a hand across his chin. His hopes of facial hair were quickly dashed. He'd never had so much as peach fuzz. "What for?"

"Because leg hair is gross, and you need to look nice."

Daiba tried his best to process this as Kei simply pulled out a razor and shaving cream from a bag filled with who knew what else. The younger pirate could only stare at the items as they were placed in his hands. He didn't quite trust the pink flowers covering the can of shaving cream.

"Take a shower quick," his superior nodded. "We don't have a lot of time."

"But why do I need to shave my legs?"

"If you don't," Kei warned, "no one will want to dance with you."

He glanced back down at the fruity can before giving in with a sigh. He wasn't so sure if he cared about dancing with girls, but he didn't want them to get too grossed out to talk to him. Jeez, girls were picky. "What about my suit?"

"Uh, I'll leave it out in the bedroom down the hall. Just yell if you need any help with anything." Her eyes sparkled, a grin spreading across her face. "Oh, you're going to look so great!"

He frowned at the door as it closed behind her. How did shaving work anyway?

Out in the living room, Harlock tried his best to deal with all the make-up coating his face. His hair was dyed hay blond, and his scar was hidden with thick coat of cover-up. He wasn't fond of complex disguises, and even this much didn't keep him from sticking out in a crowd. He was too tall, and the eye patch didn't help. He tied a slimmer white one into place once they'd finished caking make-up on his face.

Since he'd just be staying out by the car, he hoped not to draw any attention. Even with how dense the officials were, they'd seen his face enough. They could recognize him if he was one of the party-goers. It was for the best. He didn't really want to be stuck in a crowded ballroom with so many men he hated for three hours anyway.

Anita jumped, her teacup nearly flying from her hand as an enraged yell sounded from the bathroom. "Ow, fuck!" Daiba screeched.

Harlock turned a curious eye to Kei, who seemed to be trying to hide a smile. "Hopefully he won't cut up his legs too much," she said. "I didn't bring that many band-aids."

"Why would he be cutting up his legs?" the captain frowned.

"Why is it bleeding so much!?" Daiba howled.

"He's never shaved before, I'm sure," the blond giggled.

She was meddling again, and Daiba was going to throw a fit over it. Harlock was starting to wonder if all this data was worth the trouble. "Why is he shaving his legs?" he drawled.

"So he can look nice," Kei nodded.

"Oh my God, it won't stop!"

"It's fine!" the female pirate called. "Or do you need help?"

"No, I do not need- Ow! Goddamnit!"

After a few more curses, they heard the door get thrown open followed by his patter of footsteps storming down the hall. "Don't put anything on your legs," Kei yelled. "You don't want to stain your outfit!"

A moment of silence followed.

"Kei, where is my outfit?"

"It's on the bed."

Another, longer pause.

"Are you sure? I just see yours."

"No, that one's yours, Daiba."

Both Harlock and his youngest crewman seemed to come to the realization at the same time. The captain placed a hand to his face. Daiba, having lost his grasp on words, gave a confused wail of distress.

Kei just rolled her eyes. "Do you need help putting it on?"

"I am not wearing this!" the teen screamed.

"You don't have anything else to wear. Come on, you'll look so cute!"

"I don't want to look cute!"

Kei huffed in annoyance. "Why do men have such an aversion to cute things? There's nothing wrong with a guy wearing a dress."

"I have no problems with a guy wearing a dress! I have problems with me wearing a dress!"

"Well, you don't have anything else to wear, so you'd better start getting into it, or I'll force you into it. But make sure you don't put the stockings on 'til you've cleaned up your legs. You don't want to stain them."

"Kei," Harlock sighed. "Have you ever considered that Daiba wants to keep his pride?"

"Wearing a dress isn't going to hurt his pride," she muttered, severely annoyed with the two males. "He's going to look great, Captain."

Harlock wasn't fooled. "It's not just about the dress. A dress wouldn't be enough of a disguise. He's not a toy, Kei."

A sly smile wormed across her face. "I know, but he needs to learn some humility anyway. But just wait until you see him." She headed toward the bedroom, bouncing on her toes. "Daiba," she sang. "You decent?"

"Hell no!"

"What a foul-mouthed young man," Anita frowned in disapproval. She turned on his superior. "You need to raise him better, mister."

Harlock simply settled himself back on the couch, preparing for further lecturing. She'd likely be at it until they had to leave.

In the bedroom, Daiba had yet to give in to Kei's demands. He simply sat on the bed in his boxers, trying to cover up as much of himself as possible by crossing his arms over his chest and curling up a bit. "Stop that," he hissed as Kei set to work cleaning up his battered legs.

She ignored him, continuing to place band-aids across his knees. "You did a good job for the most part."

"I think I pulled off more skin than hair," he grumbled.

"Alright," she grinned once the blood had been stopped. "Since you don't want to get in the dress, I'll just go ahead and do your hair."

Daiba scowled at the frilly piece lying next to him. The simple baby pink affair gave way to white lace ruffles around the hem. White, thigh-high stockings and a white sweater jacket lay on top, with black buckle shoes beside them. At least the dress was modest. It covered about as much as a tux would, but that fact wasn't making him feel much better.

Without much of a choice, he allowed his hair to be blow-dried and set into place. He couldn't remember the last time his hair hadn't been just messy layers. Kei clipped a small pink bow into his bangs to hold them back. When he tried to remove it, his hand was slapped away.

"Ah! It looks great! See?" she smiled in triumph. "Just put a little effort into your looks and you could be so lovely."

"I never said I wanted to be lovely," the teen sighed in defeat. At least he could completely see with both eyes now.

"Sure you do," Kei cooed. "You just don't know it yet." She forced both his legs into the strangling stockings. "You have nice legs, you know, except for all the cuts."

He wasn't sure if he could take it as a compliment at this point.

"Arms up," she commanded.

"I really don't think that-"

"Arms up!"

He tentatively raised them and was quickly swallowed by a mass of frills and cotton. Before it was even completely over his head, she grabbed him by the hands and yanked him to his feet. "Suck in" was all the warning he was given before his lungs were squished by the zipper.

The sweater quickly followed, adorning his shoulders. "Perfect, perfect!" Kei squealed in joy, smoothing out any wrinkles. "Look at you!"

She spun him, forcing him to look in the full-length mirror nearby. His hair was neatly combed into place, curling around his cheeks. The dress was simple, sort of childish really, except…

"Um," he frowned, his hands wandering up to cup the padding at his chest. The room turned into a sauna as his face was consumed with a blush.

"Aren't they cute?" Kei giggled. "Not even A cups. Now come on, I need to get your make-up done."

"But," he whimpered. "But…boobs. I…"

She took no interest in his crisis, forcing him to sit back on the bed as her hand dove into the cavernous bag of supplies. Daiba didn't even know what half of those things were. That was mascara and that was blush, or was that blush? What were the pencils for?

"Just something light," Kei muttered, examining him like unshaped clay. "Your features are already pretty nice. Need some color though, and less eyebrows."

He finally returned to fighting back at the sight of the tweezers. "No! I've had enough!" he growled, batting her hand away.

"Oh my goodness, Daiba, it's just a few hairs. Sit still." She grabbed his chin roughly and plucked while he screeched his disapproval along with some colorful words.

"Now," she huffed, smirking when it was over. "Some base, blush, mascara, and lipstick."

"I thought you said something light!" he squeaked.

"Okay, fine, lip gloss then."

"If I die in a strange accident tonight, just know that it was all your fault."

Out of all the things he didn't like, he really didn't like make-up. It felt too restricting against his skin, and his eyelashes were sticking together. His lips tasted fruity though.

"Stop eating the lip gloss," Kei advised as she handed him the tube with a wink. "You might need it for later." Daiba wasn't sure exactly what that was about but he guessed he didn't like it.

"You do look gorgeous," she hummed in contentment, "and just adorable!"

"Shoot me," he responded dryly.

"Oh wait! One more thing!" She dug something out of the bag. "Your voice is already almost passable, so this should be simple. Open your mouth."

"Why?" he frowned in suspicion.

"Well, you need this for communication anyway. I'll have one too." Once he complied, she clicked a small device onto his back right tooth. "These will pick up anything you say, but only what you say. We won't get anyone else's side of the conversation, so if it's something we need to know, try to get it across without being too obvious. I think that frequency should work. Here, say something."

"Like what?"

A look of horror overtook his face as Kei's lit up with glee. "You even have an adorable girl voice!" she squealed. "Can you please just be a girl from now on?"

"No!" Daiba snapped, his voice high and bell-like. "I'm not a girl!"

"Aww, fine. Just for tonight then," she sighed through a smile as she helped him into the cramped, hard shoes. "Now let's go show the captain how pretty you are."

"No, absolutely not!" he begged as she dragged him out.

"Captain!" she sang. "Have a look at, uh, my new sister, um…Takako Yuki!"

As Daiba was forced into view, he could easily see the discomfort in his captain's face. "He…certainly looks like a girl, Kei," the older man managed.

"He is an adorable little girl, isn't he?"

"He is!" Anita cooed.

"Aren't you going to get ready, Kei?" Harlock asked, a command in his voice. They didn't have much time left.

"Oh, right."

She rushed off, leaving the cross-dressing boy to shift uncomfortably in his shoes. His face radiated so much heat that the blush was unneeded. He toyed with the hem of his dress, tugging on it to keep it down to his knees. Any higher seemed unsafe. He couldn't meet his captain's gaze.

"You don't have to be so ashamed," Harlock offered, trying to ease his upset crewman. "You do look nice. There's nothing wrong with it." If he completely ignored the fact that this was Daiba, he would have thought she was a sweet young girl dressed nicely and conservatively.

His youngest crewman threw a quick, uncertain glance. "Yeah, but you look cool."

Cool? He was just wearing a regular tux. Even the chauffeur had to dress nicely, but he hadn't bothered with anything fancy. Then again, at least his voice hadn't been raised an octave.

Harlock considered his word choice. It was too easy to step into awkward or offensive territory. "I think it's impressive that you can look attractive as either gender. I would make a hideous woman."

He was rewarded with a shy smile. "Uh," Daiba huffed. "Do you think any girls will want to dance with me?"

"Well, I suppose you'll need to ask them that," Harlock nodded. "It's just on old cliché that the men ask the women to dance, so it's rarely expected of a woman to do so even if they want to."

"Yeah…and what if a guy asks me to dance?"

Harlock's expression flipped to a controlled anger. "Men are perverts. Don't let them touch you or buy you drinks. If one asks you for a dance, you knee him in the groin."

"O-oh," Daiba blinked. Apparently being a girl was far more frightening than he'd realized.

I am a quality writer.