Finale

Hello, everybody! Surprised that we've actually reached the end? Well, so am I. It was a pleasant ride to the end of this story - except for the characters, who are all probably glaring at me as I speak - and I enjoyed writing this. So, quick recap: Smile died like a punk, the Batter died but fuck that guy, and Madotsuki had a bad time on the amusement park.

The Batter and Smile briefly glance toward each other before turning their heads away, out of disgust and indifference. Smile's eyes then search for Madotsuki, who looks somewhat apologetic, and pulls out his hammer and

Then his hand gets hurt by a top spinning at high speeds, making him drop it. "Hey, what the hell?"

ROB glares at Smile, gyromite plate still spinning. "THERE WILL BE NO MORE FIGHTING."

"Who says we can't?"

"Yeah, Smile has the right to fight you as much as anybody else - it's a free country!" says Sabitsuki.

"This isn't America." the Batter murmurs, though he goes unheard.

"SMILE, I RESPECTFULLY ASK FOR YOU TO NOT PICK THAT HAMMER BACK U-" ROB is then beamed in the head by a flying hammer, making some of the Smashers that didn't like him smile. "...FORCE IS AUTHORIZED."

"You want to fucking go?" challenges Smile.

"Er… um, do you want to go… round two?" says Madotsuki, siding with ROB, trying her hand at trash talk.

"Hey smiling guy, you just threw your only weapon." says Dedede, a rare beacon of sanity. "Maybe you should stop. I'm not saying you have to, but maybe it's a good idea." The penguin shrugs and continues what he was doing: stuffing lots and lots of food into his coat for the upcoming movie viewing party.

"...I want to fight!" Ed declares, jauntily heading over to Smile's side, making up for the loss of brawn. "I fight for my enemies!"

"Ed, please don't." Meta Knight and Edd says simultaneously.

"...Place your bets!" announces Eddy.

"Okay guys, let's try to bring it off." says Pikachu.

"Oh, so now the talking rat is preaching to us." says Smile, rolling his eyes.

"What did you say, punk? Don't make me punch you, kid!"

"...I wonder if Frozen is a good movie." Fox says nonchalantly as things start to escalate, voices getting louder and angrier.

"Quiet!" Dedede shouts. Everyone's eyes turn as they heard a loud pop: Dedede stomped on a popcorn bag. The robust Smasher then points to Meta Knight and Edd, who had been doing less of a stellar job in grabbing their attention.

"Thank you, sir… erm, Emperor Penguin."

"...Nobody ever called me that." Dedede seemed a bit pleased.

Double D takes in a wide breath. Then he screams, "What do you all think you're doing? You should all be ashamed of yourselves, threatening to turn to barbarism when we all no longer need to fight - it's all pointless and frivilous, don't you see?"

Meta Knight nods and adds to it. "Plus, why must we continue fighting when we were forced into said fighting in the first place? The true villains isn't each other, it's…"

Then, they all felt rumbling beneath their feet, stopping any further discussion.

"...Was that an earthquake…?" questions Madotsuki.

"...No. No it isn't. It feels… manufactured." answers the Batter, who had more authority on the world than everybody else.

And so, everyone looks to the narrator.

Well then-

"Talk in third-person, you jerk." says the Pokemon.

"...Okay." says the narrator. "Well then… that rumbling you hear? It's the final effect. ...Look at the plastic oceans."

They look away, in all directions.

The plastic, ordinarily peaceful, is starting to appear in waves. And is growing in size. Toward Bismark.

"I decided to put in Worms rules for this final battle." the narrator explains. "There's two teams left: All-Seeing and Second Banana, so we're in sudden death territory. The plastic will start to rise, devouring this land. And, it'll rise up the building, and if no winner comes through in the end, the foundations of the library will be melted down by the plastic, which will flip the top half of the library over and doom all of us to melt - exciting, isn't it!"

Everybody looks particularly mortified. Except ROB, who's a robot, and the Batter, who might as well be a robot.

"...Well, since the rest of you have nothing to say, let's get this show on the road!"

Team All-Seeing

Urotsuki is knocked to her feet following the quakes, though Lucario manages to stand firmly. Urotsuki gets up rather shakily. "What is that?" she questions.

Then, the narrator answers from the top of the library, megaphone in hand: "You all better start hurrying up the library and finish the fight - wouldn't want to melt, don't you?"

"Huh, what?" questions the Pokemon. He looks into the distance, searching for some sort of answer. Far off, at the southern coast of Bismark, he sees waves of plastic. Hitting the shore, the molten plastic sinks part of the beginning platform.

"What do you see?"

"A reason to start running."

"Good enough for me." she grins, looking up the central monument of the city. "Besides… the last team is up there - let's not keep them waiting~"

"..." Lucario had nothing to say to that, other than the echos of his reluctant footsteps following hers.

Team Second Banana

Luigi stands up, alarmed. Then he realizes that he's teetering on the edge of certain death and calmly steps down. "F...Falco!"

"Huh? What is it?"

He points a green sleeved arm into the horizon, shaking anxiously. "L-look!"

From up there, on the balcony, they didn't need to have Lucario's sight to see the recent developments.

The southern part of Bismark is steadily getting swallowed up by a rising tide of plastic. However, unlike Team All-Seeing, they knew the dangers of plastic; to them, it's essentially a rising wave of lava. Understandably, Luigi and Falco are metaphorically shitting themselves.

"We-a have to go up!" says Luigi. He turns to run toward the previously blocked pathway, but Falco grabs the back of his overalls.

"Luigi, I understand that running and hiding like babies is a good option for once, but do you see what's happening? If that tide rises up to the building, do ya think that the building will stay perfectly straight if the bottom floors are getting all melted up?"

"Y-yes."

"...Well, maybe in your universe, yeah, but in regular physics land - or kinda regular physics - it sure as hell won't! We have to fight the last team, or we'll be sinking and…" he thinks back to throwing Pikachu in the plastic and feels revolted.

"B-b-but… I don't-a want to fight them…" says Luigi.

"Neither do I…" the avian's more concerned about fighting Lucario than Urotsuki, "But I prefer to go down fighting. Hell, if we're going to be the last fighters around, we might as well win this, right!"

Luigi fidgets and looks down. Then, he reluctantly nods. "I guess you're-a right."

"Of course I am! ...But, we need to think of tactics. Those barricades we built might hold them off for a while…"

Team All-Seeing

The Pokemon and the human enter the library. They note the interior: still trashed from when the Genie Snakes were around, but it was devoid of any living beings (though, ominous bloodstains still lingered). They continue up the stairs until they are stopped by a barrier of plastic bookcases and other plastic furniture; the holes that the snakes had made in them were only small enough for them to sliver through, to the frustration of Urotsuki and Lucario.

"Don't worry, I got this." offers Urotsuki. She revs up her chainsaw and approaches the barrier, bringing it down on the barricade.

"Um, thanks, I guess…"

"Still nervous about fighting your bro?"

"You can say that."

"Eh. You'll get over it, friend..."

Lucario grits his teeth, to prevent himself from screaming that Falco had been his friend for much longer. Also Luigi, I guess.

Team Second Banana

Luigi and Falco are running around, looking for anything particularly useful, while taking glances outside: the southern coast was now disappearing into the plastic. Unfortunately, the only thing to be found in the place are blue plastic books and furniture. There weren't even any specters to be found in the place - this is meant to be a straight up fight.

"We… we could-a throw these books at them like-a Mr. Saturns." Luigi says, holding an armful of books, trying to offer something helpful.

"Those won't hurt anyone. See?" Falco throws one at Luigi, making him drop his armful of books. "Did that hurt?"

"Y-yes.." says Luigi. "They're still heavy..."

"Oh. ...Sorry. Hm… we could try building more barricades so we can think some more."

They then feel the building shake.

"...Nah, screw that, we can't waste time!"

"W-wait! A-are we-a fighting them now?"

"Like we have a choice." Falco says, leaving Luigi behind. The plumber weighs his choices, gulps, and follows after him.

The chainsaw revs through the last of the plastic barricade, shredding the furniture and the like until a nice path is open up.

Urotsuki and Lucario steps through.

In the middle of the aisle, standing between the bookcases, is Luigi and Falco (Luigi peeked out from behind Falco).

"Took you guys long enough." says Falco, to bolster his confidence.

"Facing death with dignity, eh? I like you guys~" says Urotsuki, holding her chainsaw in front of her, "Let's make this a good fight!"

"Uh, yeah. I'll… rough you guys up." Lucario holds up a clenched fist, but it was clear that the Pokemon isn't into it.

"Yeah, uh, me-a too!" says Luigi with the same amount of enthusiasm (which is to say, none).

The atmosphere seems heavy.

Luigi's dread was apparent.

Lucario's reluctance made tensions feel uneasy.

Falco's confidence could be felt.

Urotsuki's bloodlust is obvious.

They could all feel an imminent heat from below, and their footing seemed uneasy.

Lucario makes the first move. He starts running down the hall, opening up his fingers and forming an aura sphere in his palm. Then, before he could attack, he gets beamed in the head by a book, dissipating the sphere and knocking Lucario over. Luigi, who had thrown the book, beams with pride, until he sees Urotsuki heading over. He throws a book at her too, but she simply holds out her chainsaw, the book bouncing off of it, slightly shredded.

"We have to do something about that chainsaw."murmurs Falco.

"What do we-a do?"

"I-I don't know, improVISE!" Falco hops to the side as Urotsuki takes a swing at them. Luigi, fallen to the ground, crawls over to the bookcases and climbs up on top of them. The hikikomori looks up at him, frowning; she clearly can't climb while lugging a chainsaw.

"Hey, that's not fair!" snaps Urotsuki in childish annoyance. She goes between the bookcases, grabs one of the books, and throws it at Luigi, nearly knocking him down. "Come on, get down!"

"F-Falco, help-a…" Luigi, seeking out Falco, sees the avian standing on one of the bookcases on the other side. He gestures toward Luigi, moving his hand to imitate something falling over and pointing at Urotsuki.

The green man gets the message.

Dodging to avoid another thrown book, Luigi stands up and jumps, shifting the force of the jump on one side of the bookcase.

The bookcase starts to teeter. Urotsuki's eyes widen when she realizes what's happening, but fails to get out before the bookcase lands on her, while also knocking over the subsequent bookcases like dominoes. Despite being buried though, no death announcement for Urotsuki came. Yet.

Luigi adds insult to injury by landing on top of the bookcase and strikes a pose, a symbol of self-esteem. "Luigi did-a it!"

Then he gets launched across the room when Lucario punches him in the stomach. "Sorry, Luigi."

Lucario decides to help Urotsuki instead of continuing the fight with Luigi, since she'd be more enthusiastic to do it. However, as he approaches the fallen shelves, a weight lands on his back and tackles him to the ground.

"Falco, get off of me." grunts Lucario.

"Hell no, I'm not letting you let that girl free!" screeches Falco.

They expected each other to get aggressive, that Falco would start wailing on Lucario and that Lucario would throw Falco off.

Both of them did nothing.

"..."

"..."

"Lucario?"

"Yeah?"

"This is stupid."

"I know."

"...You don't want to fight?"

"No. You?"

"Nah. ...It'd be nice to win this thing - I mean, might as well, right? But now that I think about it… why are we even fighting?"

"The author forced us into this." Lucario helpfully reminds.

"Oh right. Fucking dick." Falco sighs - then voluntarily gets off of Lucario. "I can't believe we're playing along with his stupid game, and that stupid wave of stuff trying to melt everything."

Lucario sits back up, but does nothing toward Falco or Urotsuki; he liked the sudden peace. The two Smashers sit there, while banging noises come from the fallen shelves and Luigi is stuck in a daze at the back end of the room. After taking in the peace, Lucario stands up.

"You know what? I'm not going to play along with this anymore." the Pokemon looks down, and is satisfied by what he sees downstairs. He starts walking toward the staircase downward as the library seems to rock. Falco looks at Luigi before following after him.

"What do you mean?" the pilot asks. Then, upon reaching the stairs, he begins to understand.

The floor below is now filled with plastic, swallowing up and melting the furniture, a dangerous cesspool ascending up the tower. Lucario looks at Falco, smiling.

"I'm not going to entertain this deathmatch any longer. With me gone, Urotsuki's left - I'm sure that you guys can take care of her."

Falco recalls Fox's suicide and feels uneasy. "Are you sure about this? Do you want to leave your… um, partner?"

Lucario's smile scrunches up in anger. "She's completely amoral. The more and more I think about it, the more I realize that she deserves to die." He looks a bit regretful toward this fact. "Don't let the fact that she's a young girl distract you… it's the only reason why I wanted to protect her beforehand."

"...Got it."

"Alright. See you when this is all over, Falco!" Lucario smiles, salutes, turns around, and jumps toward the growing pool of plastic. He muffles his own cries as he sinks in.

LUCARIO HAS DIED.

Falco stares into the plastic, walking backwards up the stairs as it rises.

...Then he hears the chainsaw.

Falco turns around to see Urotsuki. Her limp is now more apparent, and she has bruises in multiple places, even sporting a black eye. She tries to put up an affable smile, but it's not hard to tell that she's actually pissed. "Hello again~ It's a shame that my friend doesn't know how to have fun."

"Hey, he's not your friend, he's my friend, and he hates you, fyi." Falco says, boldly standing up to her.

"...Hmph. Whatever. What will it be: death by melting or death by chainsaw~?"

Falco glares at her.

And then remembers that he has to get rid of the chainsaw.

He runs up to her and places his hands on the sides of the chainsaw, getting a firm grip on it. Urotsuki pushes the chainsaw forward gleefully, into Falco. The avian cries out, but he maintains his grip on the tool.

"G-good luck fighting Luigi, bitch." Falco says.

Then, he surprises Urotsuki by using the last of his strength to pull the chainsaw further into him. Urotsuki tries to pry her weapon out, but is unable to, Falco's hands and his own body firmly holding it in place. He falls backward, flipping her off as he and the chainsaw fall into the plastic.

FALCO HAS BEEN KILLED BY… UROTSUKI? OR HIMSELF?

Urotsuki's jaw drops.

Her beloved chainsaw, her one weapon, the one thing that made her the most terrifying force - is now gone.

"...That fucking bird." she growls.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Luigi was still in terrible pain from the punch, even if it was halfhearted. The plumber coughed, and stared at the blood that had fallen into his glove. What was that? Like, the third time he got hit in the stomach? It feels painful, just moving.

Then, he sees Urotsuki coming up the stairs. And her fuming with rage. "Oh… oh-a no…"

Luigi gets to his feet and starts walking away, slowly, bent over a bit. But then, he looks back, and realizes that she no longer has her chainsaw.

The plumber turns to face her and he tries to muster his courage.

Despite all his fears, his worries, he feels that he has a chance now.

Urotsuki is trying to put up a fighting stance, but it's clear that she didn't know how to fight hand-to-hand. "You… your friend thought that getting rid of my chainsaw can stop me… ha… as if that will stop me from breaking your face…"

"Erm…" Luigi strikes up a pose himself, his being more steady and professional, despite how much his insides hurt. "Bring it-a on?"

Urotsuki roars and launches herself toward him. Or would if it weren't for the limp. Her first punch was feeble, and Luigi easily dodged it. The plumber throws a punch and ends up hitting her face. Outraged, the hikikomori claws at him, his nose erupting in blood. The two continue exchanging blows, scratching each other up, both of their fighting skills growing more feeble, fatigue starting to get the best of them -

The building shakes again and starts to lean. The plastic had managed to rise to that floor and was starting to pour in.

Urotsuki is briefly distracted by it. Taking advantage, Luigi punches her, not really feeling bad about it, and hurries to the stairs.

Luigi emerges out onto the balcony. From his view, most of the city is gone, sunken into a sea of melting white. The great library itself seemed on the verge of collapse. The plumber wipes the sweat off his forehead, thinking of what to do. The plastic was imminent, and if one of them didn't win, both of them would lose.

Sure, Luigi hated the deathmatch anyway and wanted nothing to do with it, but it would sure be a waste of time if nobody won. And he missed a lot of tv time because of this deathmatch.

He thinks. He tries to think of a quick, solution, that would end this entire charade.

He thinks back. He remembers.

And he smiles.

He hurries over to the other side of the balcony and crouches down…

Urotsuki staggers out onto the balcony. Any sign of attempted friendliness is gone, replaced by a cold rage. She slumps her way toward Luigi, hands like claws. "You. I'm going to claw your fucking eyes out until you're crying, and I'll smash your head against a wall until your stupid voice dies out, do you hear me…"

Then, fully charged, Luigi lunges at her.

Her threats became empty as the green missile collides. Urotsuki cries out, the sheer force sending her backwards -

- and over the balcony. She could feel the heat from below reaching out toward her.

"YOU PIECE OF SHI-"

A splashing noise is heard, followed by hellish screaming, like a demon trying to claw out of hell.

Luigi looks at the approaching tide of plastic inside until her voice is the one that dies down.

UROTSUKI HAS BEEN KILLED BY LUIGI!

The plumber couldn't believe it.

He actually did it.

Luigi then does that little victory pose from Super Mario 3D World, jumping up and staying in place like some 70s movie.

Before he gets taken by the plastic wave, everything dissolves to white…

"Congratulations!"

"Holy shit, you actually did it."

"Nice job, Luigi!"

"I was totally rooting for you guys the entire time, yup."

"Ha, they actually won, you all lose the bet!"

"Damn it."

"Didn't know you had it in you, Luigi!"

"Congratulations, Luigi, you've brought Team Second Banana to victory." says the narrator.

Luigi had awoken on top of the great library. The land has been restored, the plastic sea in its rightful position. Any battle scars that the land of Zone 2 had taken are healed, Bismark returning to its former glory. His wounds were all gone, and he felt as great as ever. Everybody is on top of the library, many of the combatants surrounding Luigi, clapping, cheering, friends and strangers, allies and former enemies.

It all felt great.

He feels somebody slapping his back, making him jump - it was only a smiling, laughing Falco. "You really did it! Feel proud of yourself, man!"

Lucario stood to their side, smiling. He did not seem the least bit bothered that his team lost. "Congratulations, you guys!"

Then, Urotsuki approaches Luigi, a blank expression on her face. He freezes up, thinking that she would fly into a murderous rage.

Instead, she laughs. "Wow, I didn't see that coming! ...Sure, I'm kinda pissed, but you won fair and square, and I have to respect that~" She offers her hand. Luigi takes it and they shake, with no hostility between them.

The narrator, stuck in 3rd-person, approaches Luigi and Falco and gives them handshakes as well. "Congratulations, Team Second Banana, you've succeeded! How do you feel?"

"G-great!" says a proud Luigi.

"I only wish that I was there to see Luigi take her down." admits Falco. He ignores the glare that she gives him.

"That's good! And oh yeah, here you go." the narrator gives Luigi a new hat, which he excitedly puts on.

"So, uh." King Dedede interrupts the moment, asking the most important question: "What do they win?"

"...Huh? Oh right, a prize." the narrator coughs, clearly having not thought about it. "Uh… copies of Super Smash Bros for the 3DS?"

Team Second Banana stares at him.

"...copies of both versions?"

They stare a bit more and shrug. They'll take what they can get, and the glory felt great enough anyway.

"Satisfied? That's good. So, there you have it folks - Team Second Banana has risen to the top of our first ever fanfic showdown! Were you surprised that it wasn't Team All-Seeing that won? Haha, probably. So, I thank all of you for -"

"Hold it!"

Interrupting the narrator's ramblings, over everybody, was Meta Knight.

"Now that our imminent danger is gone, I can finish what I was saying." says Meta Knight. "You see, there's still one more enemy here, one more fight…"

"Who?" asks the narrator, genuinely curious.

"You."

"...Oh." That's when the narrator realizes that he's surrounded by people, angry that he had stuck them in a deathmatch for several months. "...You wouldn't really-"

Everybody who was able to do so lifts him up in the air. He screams futilely as they work as one, walking toward the edge, and he gets thrown off the building. Good riddance. ...Wait, what am I talking about, that's me they're throwin-

THE NARRATOR HAS BEEN KILLED!

It was ROB who had announced that fact, to the cheers of many.

"Alright, now that that's done, let's go see that movie!" announces Dedede.

"I'll help carry the snacks!" says Fox.

"Isn't Frozen kinda overrated?" says Sabitsuki.

"Eh, it's won academy awards." says Eddy with a shrug.

"Only because the committee had a firm bias against animation…" mutters Edd.

"Really? How unprofessional…" murmurs Madotsuki.

"IT'S PROBABLY STILL GOOD." says ROB.

"True…"

"How will we get there, though?" asks Lucario.

"We can all take my airship." says Meta Knight. Normally, he hated offering rides, but this was a special occasion.

"You have an airship? Cool, you're like Eggman!" exclaims Ed.

"Er, I suppose so…"

"Then after the movie, we can all hang out or whatever." says Pikachu.

"That sounds good~" says Urotsuki.

"Just keep me away from that asshole." says Smile, pointing at the Batter.

"...I think I'll skip out on the movie. I have some purification to catch up on…" he says.

"Booo." says Fox, seeing him as a killjoy.

"...So, how are all of-a us going to pay for the movie?" Luigi points out.

"We'll probably think of something, with all our heads put together." Falco says. Though, he fears whatever weird suggestions that will inevitably arise.

They all start heading downstairs as a group, descending the library, a joyful feeling shared between them all, now that their troubles were all over...

END

Author's Notes: I would like to thank all of you who had stuck through with this story for the past year or so! With this tackled, I'll now have more time to update my other stories! I'm sorry if the team you wanted to win didn't win, but sometimes life isn't fair. And to tell you the truth, I decided the outcome of this story via coin flip. Yeah, tough luck, supporters of Team All-Seeing.

The characters belong to their respective series, be they video games, obscure ass hipster games, and beloved cartoons. I hope you all enjoyed this story, and I hope to see you all again in some other thing I'm writing.