Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers and never will.

Warnings: Things blow up. Mentions of sexual activities.

Author's Note: This entire chapter is straight out of Iron Man. I didn't write any of this. Oh well. It's just the prologue.

"I feel like you're driving me to court martial," Tony Stark said as the HMMWV rumbled down the road. The scotch in his hand tinkled as the ice hit the sides of the glass. "I feel like you're going to pull over and snuff me. What, are you not allowed to talk? Hey, Forest!"

"We can talk, sir," the young soldier beside him replied. "Oh, I see, so it's personal?" Tony asked. "No, you intimidate them," the driver replied in an obviously feminine voice. "Good God, you're a woman," Tony replied. "Honestly, I couldn't recall that. I would apologize, but isn't that what we're going for here? I thought it was soldier first."

"I'm an airman," she replied. "Well, you have actually excellent bone structure," Tony replied. "I'm kind of having a hard time not looking at you now, is that weird?" The soldiers chuckled and the driver smirked, rolling her eyes. "Come on, it's okay, laugh," Tony said cheerfully. "Hey!"

The soldier riding shotgun said, "Sir, I have a question to ask." "Yes, please," Tony replied amiably. "Is it true that you went twelve for twelve with last year's Maxim cover models?"

"That is an excellent question," Tony said, taking off his sunglasses. "Yes and no. March and I had a scheduling conflict, but fortunately, the Christmas cover was twins. Anything else?"

The young soldier next to Tony raised his hand. "You're kidding me with the raised hand," Tony said dubiously. The soldier put his hand down and asked, "Is it cool if I take a picture with you?"

"Yes," Tony nodded, "it's very cool." The soldier smiled and pulled a camera out of his pocket. He scooted next to Tony and handed the camera to the soldier riding shotgun.

"I don't want to see this on your MySpace page," Tony ordered as the young soldier made a peace sign. "Please, no gang signs." The soldier hurriedly put it down. "No, throw it up, I'm kidding," Tony said. "Yeah. Peace. I love peace. Be out of a job with peace."

The soldier up front fumbled with the camera. "C'mon, c'mon," the young soldier said. "Just click it, don't change any settings, just click it!"

The car in front of them blew up. Gunfire rattled the Humvee. "What's going on?" Tony asked, alarmed.

"Contact left!" the woman screeched. She opened her door, gun raised, and was shot as soon as she left the car. Her body fell to the ground.

"Jimmy, stay with Stark!" the soldier up front yelled as he got out of the car. "Stay down!" Jimmy yelled, pushing him to the floorboard. Tony watched as the other soldier was shot.

"Son of a…" Jimmy yelled, prepping his gun and opening the door.

"Wa-wa-wa-wa-wait!" Tony yelled. "Give me a gun!" "Stay here!" Jimmy yelled. A moment later, a bomb struck the vehicle.

Tony stumbled out of the Humvee, knowing he needed to find better shelter. He dove behind a rock. He pulled out his phone and began to dial.

A bomb landed a few feet away. Tony's eyes widened. The label read, "Stark Industries."

Tony tried to dive away from the bomb, but it exploded. Tony fell to the ground, pulling away his dress shirt to reveal a bullet proof vest underneath. Blood was seeping through it. Tony winced as he fell unconscious.

The next few days were a blur. Tony vaguely remembered voices yelling in Arabic. He remembered blood. And he remembered pain, a lot of pain. He remembered hearing screams, and then finally realizing they were his own. He finally fell into a deep sleep.