Black Sun

Bunch together a group of people deliberately chosen for strong religious feelings, and you have a practical guarantee of dark morbidities expressed in crime, perversion, and insanity.

- H.P. Lovecraft

Chapter Thirty-Six

A Watcher in the Woods

I should have known that day was gonna go downhill.

I mean, thinking back on it then, the signs were right there. I woke up that morning for school with heavy eyelids like usual but an early shower and changing into fresh school clothes put me on track by the time I bounded downstairs for the kitchen, the coffee pot chugging underneath the microwave. Dad had left the house hours before when the rest of us were still asleep, way before the sun was slated to rise but that really wasn't weird considering his vocation. Now what was really unusual was that Mom wasn't in the kitchen waiting for me like she always was, dressed and ready to fly out the door.

I gazed around at the empty island counter before shrugging and setting my backpack on the nearest chair. There was plenty of time for poptarts. I could warm them in the toaster too which was a rarity nowadays. As I nibbled on my breakfast, a door slammed shut upstairs followed quickly the clack clack clack of Mom's thick heeled pumps descending the staircase. She hurried in the kitchen, coat draped over one arm and purse in the other.

"Have you seen my keys?"

"They're in your hand."

She glanced down at the keyring clutched in her right palm along with her phone, face blank before shoving them messily inside her bag. She sacked around the pockets for something else. "Work keys. Where-"

I sat there and munched through the rest of the pastry as she whirled around and ducked into Dad's office, searching around the living room before rushing back upstairs to their bedroom. Well, this was a role reversal. She liked to boss me around in the mornings, nagging me to hurry up and get my books together, eat really quick before all but sprinting to the garage but there I was waiting on her for a change while she lost her marbles. If only Dad was there to see it too.

When I was done, I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and stored in my book bag then called up to the stairs, "Mom, come on!" I checked the screen on my phone. "It's almost seven forty-five."

She almost burned a strip on the carpet as she raced down to meet me, coat on and purse over her shoulder. She led the way to the garage door but spun around to the kitchen half way there only to re-emerge with her coffee thermos. She smiled at me, finally prepared.

Knew I should have walked, I thought to myself but smiled back anyway.

The road was jammed on our way to Beacon Hills High. I tapped my shoes to the beat of the radio as we pulled up to the curb, lines of cars both in front and back of us. Even the parking lot was full and we had to stop beside a bike lockup station so I could hurry and exit so I wouldn't miss the bell ring. I elbowed my way through the sea of student rush hour to my locker. No Allison or Scott around. But that wasn't really abnormal since lately they had been arriving to school a few minutes tardy except Lydia. She was always on time.

I rearranged the contents of my backpack before first period started. A few students must have changed their lockers because I barely recognized anyone around me. It kind of felt like my first day of school all over again.

Lydia and Allison approached me then, eyes sharp with alarm. "Are you having dreams?" The redhead asked.

"What kind of dreams?" I replied, confused by the random question.

"Anything that normally doesn't happen when you sleep," Allison explained.

"And no, clandestine fantasies about Derek don't count."

I glared at Lydia. "Hey, I don't dream like that." I hadn't even heard from him since he left town. "I used to have nightmares when my cousin died, but that's calmed down a lot," I told them. "Other than that... no. Nothing."

Allison frowned, a deep crinkle settling between her brows while Lydia smirked triumphantly at her. "See? It's like I said. It started when you, Scott, and Stiles went in that ice bath from hell. We need to talk to them."

What started? I thought while Lydia sashayed away, stopping at the double door to wave Allison and I to follow. I really didn't feel like it, I had way too much notebooks and snack wrappers to sift through in my locker but the wistful glance Allison shot me when she moved to join Lydia cracked my resolve. It seemed like she really didn't want to be alone.

Sighing, I stored books I wouldn't need until later in the day back on the shelves and gazed at the old family photo I taped inside the door, the one Derek tore of little piece off with my cousin Ellis in it. I put up a new copy of it a week ago and grew into the habit of looking at it each time I shut my locker - seeing that snapshot of my best childhood memory made me feel like I was back there at the family gathering if only for second, surrounded by constant love and support. It gave me hope. Strength.

Smiling at it, I closed the door and entered the lock combination for it before jogging to catch up with Allison and Lydia.

We followed a trail of students toward the bridge, their shadows casting long cylinder-like shapes on the walls until a familiar voice echoed, "It's happening to you too. You're seeing things, aren't you?"

"How'd you know?"

"Because it's happening to all three of you." Lydia strode up to them and they turned to face her.

"What's happening?" I piped in, holding a short stack of books to my chest. Had I been that nose deep in school work that I didn't notice what was going on with my friends? Or did they just keep it to themselves?

"Apparently we've been seeing things," Allison spoke up when no one else did. "Dreaming, but none of us are asleep."

"Yeah, and when we do sleep it's a nightmare," Stiles muttered.

"Like about the Alpha pack?" I asked. Or more like the defunct pack now... it'd been some time since Deucalion disappeared from Beacon Hills. Perhaps he was still around and was just keeping a low profile, thanks to Scott and Derek's not to subtle threat. "Maybe it's just sleepwalk," I suggested lightly, but even that could be terrifying. Especially of you were tipping head first out of a two story window.

"Then I guess we'll all slated to die from sleep deprivation," Stiles quipped. He really sounded fed up.

Lydia led the way back inside. "Well, well, look who's no longer the crazy one."

"We're not crazy," Allison denied.

"Hallucinating? Sleep paralysis? Yeah, you guys are fine."

"We did die and come back to life," Scott reasoned. "That's gotta have some side effects, right?" He glanced at all of us for reassurance but I had nothing. If what they were experiencing was beyond what happened to me when Ellis died, then it wasn't my place to say whether it was a big deal or not.

"Dr. Deaton did say the thing with the Nemeton would attract more darkness. Maybe this is it," I said, thinking it'd take everyone's minds off the mystery but their faces just paled in comparison. I probably shouldn't have said anything at all... wow, their dreams must have been something else. Clearly not of this world.

"We keep an eye each other, okay?" Stiles suggested and started off for his class. "And Lydia, stop enjoying this so much."

"What?" The redhead cocked her head up, feigning innocence.

I shook my head at them two, smiling faintly and remembered that I only had five minutes to get to my first class of the day before the morning bell rang. I hiked my book bag strap higher over my shoulder and hurried down the hall, hoping that the new English teacher wasn't the type to take early roll calls.

So much for a new beginning.

[O]

The new English teacher wasn't so bad. But to be on the safer side, I sat near the back row farthest from the window, turned off my cell phone before I even crossed the threshold and tried not to make direct eye contact whenever they looked in my general direction. A nervous hour of note taking but in the end we only ended up walking out with one reading assignment. Not too bad. Although, I knew it'd be a long road until I felt comfortable in the class again. Who would have thought my best memories of English would involve Mr. Sherman?

Next on my schedule was History. The school faculty had to find another teaching replacement and that one worried me the most because history research papers counted for most of the final grade. You flunked that, you might as well throw away the savings for a cap and gown. Needless to say, I was anxious as I found a free seat and staked my claim. The teacher's desk was empty. Lucky, I thought. Maybe there was time for snacks before lunch.

I was just shoving a candy wrapper in my backpack pocket when chalk scribbled on the board. I looked up to see a dark haired man at the chalkboard, dressed in a clean cut suit.

"Good morning, everyone. My name is Mr. Yukimura," he introduced and stood in front of his desk. "I'll be taking over for your previous History teacher. My family and I moved here three weeks ago. I'm sure, by now, you all know my daughter Kira. Or you might not since she's never actually mentioned anyone from school. Or brought a friend home for that matter."

Thunk.

Someone must have dropped their book, I thought to myself, idly doodling on the cover of my new notebook but paused when I realized the entire class grew quiet and gawked at somebody sitting behind me. I peeked over as well and spotted a girl with shiny black hair peering up from her arms, smiling sheepishly at all the eyes on her. Oh. That was his daughter he was talking about... wow, that must have been tough. If my Dad had to teach Italian language class, I'd crawl into a hole.

"Either way, there she is," Mr. Yukimura went on. "Now, let's begin with American History at the turn of the twentieth century."

Bizarre, I couldn't help but think and shrugged anyway and faced the board again in preparation for Mr. Yukimura's lecture. He was halfway through the lesson when my phone quietly vibrated in my lap.

I made sure Mr. Yukimura's back was facing us before tapping the notification. It was from Dad. 'Come home right after school,' he wrote.

'Why?' I typed back but minutes passed and he didn't respond.

Huh. Now that was odd. Wasn't he supposed to be at work anyways? Maybe something was up with Mom and imagining that sent a jolt of fear coursing through me... Mom was like the glue in our family, keeping the loose pieces together when things got a little too rough. If it really was as ominous as Dad made it sound, I couldn't do anything after school and had to return straight home.

Mom was working overtime at the bank that day so I was on my own on the on-foot journey back to the house. Given how all my friends were preoccupied with finishing the school day without having a mental breakdown I didn't think to hitch a ride with one of them and I honestly didn't mind too much. I got to leave half an hour before everyone else so maneuvering around rows of cars wasn't a big deal. My feet were kind of hurting though.

I kept in contact with Allison and Lydia the whole way there, the latter sending me multiple messages that she had an ingenious plan to solve's Allison's day nightmares and her sudden inability to hold anything steady in her dominant hand. By the time I typed out a question of what her plan involved, I reached our driveway and glanced up to the front door.

And froze.

Who was that car parked in Mom's space?

Wary, I walked slowly to the porch, eyeing the black car the entire time but nobody was in the driver's seat. I knew what Uncle Gaius' car looked like and that was most definitely not him. Okay, be brave, I told myself as I fished out my key and prepared to turn it in the knob. My book bag weighed at least five pounds so maybe if there really was an intruder inside I could chuck it at them and-

I paused again when the door squeaked open, voices from Dad's study echoing across the foyer, one of them his own. Most likely a court house colleague he once and a great while brought home to discuss cases over and sometimes even rarer, they stayed for dinner. Awkward, but nothing life threatening about that. Whew, that was close. I sighed and shut the door behind me, relieved that I could have a normal day for once in almost a year.

I got a drink of water from the kitchen before heading up the stairs to my room, the steps creaking with weight and the hushed conversation stopped.

"Alessandra?"

Man, I could never catch a break. "Yeah, Dad?"

No reply.

I waited a beat but still, nothing. "Dad?" Frowning, I trudged back down to the foyer, wandering into the living room and heard him murmuring secretly in his office again. Something about the situation made my stomach flip so I deposited my backpack on the sofa cushion and trailed toward the entry way.

Dad glanced up when I came into view, my eyes darting from his composed features to the younger guy, no younger than Ellis used to be, standing with his arms folded beside the desk.

Was that...

"You remember your cousin Julian."

No, I didn't. The Julian I pictured in my head looked nothing like the man standing there now, regardless of the gap years between our last visit. We were only kids then. But looking in his eyes now, I saw no trace of that same gentle boy. And the funny part was... he didn't really change physically. Still had those baby features, short dark hair and big frame. He was athletic as Ellis was, though Julian's shoulders were a tad wider but that was where the comparison ended. Where Ellis' presence was lively, Julian felt like a severed cord.

But he was still my family.

Dad cleared his throat at the awkward silence between us two and leaned up from his desk. Manila envelopes were scattered all over, papers lying on top of them. "Your Uncles and I have been doing some thinking and we've come to the agreement that maybe it isn't so safe that there's so few of us in Beacon Hills. Your cousin has been kind enough to volunteer to come down for a little while, at least until most of the family have made other arrangements."

I thought about how Ellis said he made the choice too to come to Beacon Hills and look how that ended... the idea of most of my family relocating with us here scared me. For other people and ourselves alike. "Are the hunters looking for us again?" I asked.

"I haven't heard from Chris in two weeks," Dad answered. "But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. The Nemeton has me thinking about what's to come-" he paused to lightly rub at his freshly shaven jaw. "Considering the past year, I'd rather soften the coming blows than cower in favor of safety. So your cousin here is going to take the reigns for a little bit and finish what I started teaching you."

"But-"

"I'll still be here," he assured me. "Some of my time will be split at the Sheriff's station. Stilinski is more observant than he leads on and he contacted me for more answers." His trouser pocket buzzed then and Dad jiggled it out with a sigh. "Again?" he muttered, staring at the screen. "Don't wait up tonight," he told us as he walked out of the room to the front door. "Yes, Sheriff, it's me. You did call my personal line. I'm on my way... well, how fast does a law enforcer suggest I drive over a twenty-five speed limit in a residential area?"

The front door shut.

I turned back to my cousin but he was already following my Dad's footsteps but headed for the garage instead. I almost trailed behind, called out to him... something, but his disposition didn't give off huge hints that he wanted to reminisce about old times so I left him alone and ventured up to my room by myself. I forgot to turn off the radio that morning but left it on as I set my bag on my computer desk and worked to pick up clothes tossed in random places, organizing shoes out from under the bed and back in the closet. Boring but it kept me busy.

When I was done, I flopped down on my mattress and lied on my side clutching a pillow to my chest. The clock hands read 4:35 PM but my eyelids felt like bricks and I couldn't help but rest them to the robotic tick tick tick.

Two hours passed by the time my eyes fluttered open again, light filtering in through the curtains dull and fading. I rubbed my eyes and sat up, seeing my phone vibrate with new text messages but as I reached to check them a shadow at the door caught my attention.

"Oh, hey..." I greeted Julian while he leaned a shoulder to the frame, gazing inside like it was a zoo exhibit.

"Is he still around?"

"Who are you talking about?"

"A guy your Dad mentioned. The last of the Hales."

That made my gut churn and I shook my head slowly. "No, he's not the last of them. Not anymore." I paused and stared down at my hands then, hoping Derek was okay wherever he was. "And no... he's not around."

Julian didn't answer but crossed inside my bedroom, stopping in front of a few picture frames I kept on top of my dresser. He carefully picked up one of just me and Ellis when we were really little, barely twelve, and studied it. His expression was unreadable.

"How long had it been since you last saw him?"

"About three years."

Oh, I thought to myself but the relationship between us was too uncomfortable for me to really express how I was feeling... so unlike what I had with Ellis. Now where I could really say anything and he'd listen, maybe make fun of me for it but it was okay because he was one of my best friends and he understood. Or tried to anyway. But with Julian, I didn't know what to with this shadow of a guy who wore this skin suit and called himself my family. It was like standing in front of an animal's cage and the gate was wide open.

He set the picture frame back down gingerly. "How was he?" His voice was low. "When you last saw him... was he- was he happy?"

I nodded. "Yeah, he was the same old Ellis. Laughed at everything."

Hands buried deep in his hoodie pockets, Julian just stared at the photo but I had never seen a pair of eyes so void of emotion. But then he blinked and some color returned.

My cell buzzed and Lydia's name popped up in the text box. 'Meet us at the preserve,' she wrote.

I was about to text her back to come and get me, standing up to hunt for my sneakers all the while but then I realized I still had company.

I didn't expect him to linger. "Are you going out later?"

"Will you?"

"Yeah, I have to meet up with friends."

Julian moved his hand from his hoodie to his jean pocket and retrieved a set of car keys hanging off his forefinger. Of course... I was gonna need a ride. "There's your answer."

My stomach flipped at the thought of being in a car with my elusive cousin. Not that I was scared or didn't trust him but I just didn't know him anymore...and even when I did, we weren't that close. What we were supposed to say to each other? Still, I tied on my shoes and grabbed a jacket from my closet. Julian was already waiting in the garage when I trudged downstairs to meet him and my gut couldn't help but sink deeper as I clicked in the seat belt.

[O]

We made it to the Beacon Hills preserve in one piece despite the extreme awkwardness and lack of conversation throughout the whole trip there, and Julian parked behind Allison's car at the side of the barren road. I unbuckled my seatbelt as I scanned the skinny lines of trees for Lydia or Allison but I couldn't spot them anywhere so they must have been deep in the woods. I was about to open the door but my cousin's silence silence and made me glance back. He was scrolling through his phone.

"I'll be here," he told me before I had the chance to ask.

Okay then, I thought, shrugging before stepping out.

My vans crunched through fallen leaves while I searched for my friends and I eventually stumbled on the two standing in front of a thick tree trunk. They looked like they were assembling one of Allison's bows.

"We thought you weren't coming," Allison said when they heard me walk up but looked happy nonetheless.

"When I text you 'meet us in the preserve,' I mean come meet us here and not leave us in suspense," Lydia snipped. I forgot I didn't message her back.

"Hey, I'm here now aren't I?"

Lydia huffed, but without real malice and made me find some tape in her bag while she prepared a paper target to stick on the tree trunk.

"Do you really think this is going to work?" Allison said.

"I know that if you think it's not going to help it definitely won't," Lydia replied, marching back. "So get your head into it! Shoot a few and see what happens."

Allison begrudgingly went along with it and lined an arrow up to the target but when it fired it sailed three feet away from the tree. She tried again but it plunked far off course in the dirt. Each time Allison's finger trembled.

"Maaaybe... hold the string a different way. Try the Mongolian draw." Lydia suggested and titled her head when Allison raised her brows. "What? I read." She pointed to the trunk. "Try it."

I didn't even know what she was talking about until Allison flipped her bow around and shot another arrow at the target but I couldn't see where it landed. Only that it wasn't in the tree... so much for reading.

"Okay, um," Lydia mumbled in disappointment. "Take a second to close your eyes and imagine the arrow going into the target." She paused when Allison actually closed her eyes and leaned around her back to whisper to me, "Help me, Alessandra."

Huh? Why me? I thought. What was there to say that was meant to be so inspiring, enough to chase her night terrors out of the dark to fry under light? I wasn't the sage advisor there. It was supposed to be Lydia, but I lightly rubbed Allison's shoulder encouragingly anyway. "You can do it, Allison."

Lydia cocked her head at me as if to say 'seriously? that's it?' and I just shrugged back. Better than nothing.

Allison shut her yes then, lashes dark and stationary against her cheeks but not even a full minute passed when they snapped open again. Startled, her gaze swept over the lines of trees.

"Did you see that?" She asked.

"See what?"

At Lydia's frown, Allison turned to me. "You saw that, right?"

"I didn't see anything," I told her sheepishly.

Allison's eyes only seemed to widen at that and her sights scoured the trees like it came alive as a gaping vortex and sucked one of us inside. Sure, the woods were a creepy place, even in broad daylight surrounded by two other people with one lethally armed but I wasn't detecting any kind of danger. We were alone here. No leaves crunching from someone else approaching. Even the birds stopped chirping. Nothing.

Allison gripped her bow tighter in her hand and reached for another arrow. "Wait here."

"Are you serious?"

"I'll be right back."

"You did not just say that," Lydia deadpanned and turned to me when Allison strode off toward the trees. "Did she really just say that?"

"Yup... she did."

Lydia huffed again and looked to where Allison disappeared but we couldn't see her figure anymore except for the dull sounds of her boots stomping farther away. Hopefully it was just a pesky critter lurking behind those trees. A harmless one. Thinking about any kind of wild dangerous animal out there gave me the skeeves, but at least we had Allison there armed with a weapon.

We waited patiently for her to come back. I stuffed my hands in my jacket pockets, idly thumbing Ellis' swiss army knife that I carried everywhere with me now. In my backpack or jeans pocket, it was better to be safe than sorry. Or dead. It was therapeutic, knowing I had something to remember him by that would help me survive.

I started shifting around when the time on my phone ticked past five minutes. That was getting too long... What was taking Allison so long?

"Should we go look?" I asked Lydia.

"She said she'd be back," Lydia replied with a frown.

"Well, I don't see her anywhere," I mumbled then took a step forward. "Hey, Allison?" A twig snapped. "Allison?"

A bird flew up overhead.

"Allison?"

Leaves crunched behind us.

I turned my head and there she was, bow aimed right at Lydia. Her finger pulled back and released the arrow. Panic surged through my veins and without thinking I moved to push Lydia out of the way but my feet felt so heavy, like cinderblocks. I'd never make it in time. I'd never-

Then Isaac's hand shot out and caught the arrow inches from Lydia's face.

"Lydia! Oh my God." Allison seemed to snap out of it and instantly dropped the bow. She raised her hands slowly. "Oh my God, Lydia!"

Shock froze me solid. What the hell was going on? First Allison started seeing things, she completely lost her abilities with a bow and arrow, and now she appeared out of thin air with a look of intent to kill Lydia. That wasn't her. That wasn't her at all. Unless... unless the person Allison was seeing wasn't Lydia either. I gulped at the thought and checked over my shoulders but still, nothing about the woods rang out of the ordinary. Was it just me? Had I gone senseless over time?

Or was it the Nemeton?

Allison ran up to Lydia and hugged her, who was stiff with shock too but she eventually returned the gesture. Good thing Isaac was here just in time to see the arrow fire and I couldn't be more thankful in that time that lycans were blessed with super speed-

Wait, I thought to myself, turning to the curly haired werewolf. He still had the arrow clutched tight in his palm. What was Isaac doing here? Did Lydia invite him and just forget about it? I was about to ask but then Isaac was knocked to the ground, sprawled on his back with the barrel end of a shotgun pressed between his brows. A boot clamped down on his chest to hold him there and I followed the big shoe up all the way to my cousin's livid expression.

The trigger clicked and my stomach dropped.

"Julian, no!" I ran to his side and pushed the short barrel down with my hand before he could hurt him. "Stop!"

"He's been following since you got out of the car," Julian said and glared down at Isaac's wide eyes. "What are doing out here?" The trigger clicked again and he slid the pump back as if getting ready to fire a shot.

"I was..." Isaac gulped. "I was trying to help-"

"From fifteen feet away," Julian finished for him, not believing him. "Rethink your answer before I fill you up with lead."

Isaac's hands were raised in surrender, but he looked too caught off guard to answer honestly, so I tried pushing the gun away from his head. "Julian, he goes to school with us. He's a friend. He's a friend." My hand was clamped tight around the barrel and if worst came to worst, I pondered just blocking the hole with my hand in case he really did squeeze the trigger fully. I'd definitely be returning home without an appendage, if I was gonna go back home at all, but it beat Isaac getting his head blown off. "Julian!" I called for his attention again when all he did was study Isaac on the ground.

Allison and Lydia were watching quietly behind me, holding each other and it felt like eons before Julian finally tore his gaze off Isaac and looked at me. His brows pulled together, the only hint of emotion and thought process in his head despite the clinical gleam in his eyes before his expression smoothed and he lifted his boot of Isaac's chest. But instead of lowering the shotgun at his side, he toted it up so the barrel rested against his shoulder. It didn't comfort me at all.

"Watch who you hang out with, Alessandra," Julian warned me. "Or you'll end up like Ellis." He took steps backward, still watching me. "Let's go."

He disappeared through the thicket of trees then and a suffocating, awkward silence fell over the woods. I helped Isaac up and he seemed a lot less on edge now that Julian backed off, but his eyes kept skirting above my head as if he'd show up again. With a chainsaw.

"Who was that?" Lydia asked breathlessly.

I watched the direction Julian retreated to and a slimy knot of dread formed in my gut. I wasn't looking forward to driving back home with this guy. "My cousin," I replied glumly before following him all the way back to the truck.

[O]

The trip back to the house was the worst of my life. Julian and I didn't talk but the tension that filled the car was enough for me to wanna dive out the passenger seat and take my chances on foot. It wasn't that I was scared of my cousin but I greatly feared what he would do to my friends if there was even a fraction if a percent he thought they were a danger. And not just my friends but strangers too. Beacon Hills didn't exactly attract the best quality of people, but there were some good ones here. I just hoped he'd see that.

I thought about telling him to mind his own business, that I didn't need someone on my back twenty-four seven no matter what Dad told him, especially when it came to safety around my friends but judging from how tight his hand was clenching the steering wheel, now wasn't a good time. If he could turn a gun on someone as harmless as Isaac, I didn't want to think about what he could do to family.

I didn't hesitate on jumping out of the car once it was parked in the driveway and heading inside to find my Dad. Mom was already home too watching her nightly soap opera on the sofa with a full glass of wine on the coffee table, and she waved at me absently when I passed by to Dad's office. At least she'd be too distracted to hear what I was about to say.

Like always, Dad was knee deep in paperwork.

"Hey, Dad?" I called quietly and listened for Julian's boots thudding to the stairs but it was silent except voices from the TV. He must have been in the garage. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"You can have as much time as you want." Dad flipped his yellow folder shut then and leaned back in his chair.

I double checked over my shoulders to make sure nobody was eavesdropping before walking closer to his desk. "I went to see my friends earlier and Julian came with me." I paused but nothing about Dad's expression implied he found anything suspicious. "You know Isaac Lahey? He was there with us and when Julian saw him he just..." I took a deep breath then and slowly let it out. "Dad, I've never seen that look in someone's eyes before. The way he shoved that gun in Isaac's face without really knowing him... I'm worried, Dad. He doesn't feel like the Julian I remember all those years ago."

Dad was speechless for a long time. He reclined in his seat with his hands clasped behind his head and just drank all the information in, the slight rocking back and forth rocking motion of his chair making his eyes flash underneath the light. Was he surprised? Relieved no one turned up dead? I couldn't tell for sure.

"Your cousin has seen things that not even I had at his age," Dad eventually explained. "You and Ellis have had your family to turn to, a pushback to those thoughts that there's more evil in the world than good-" A cloudy bank of emotions crossed Dad's eyes but then just like that, it was gone. "And unfortunately for Julian, that wasn't enough."

It was my turn to fall quiet. Julian really had it worse than us? Given that Ellis was gone, I had a difficult time believing that but I had to give it the benefit of the doubt. Julian and I lost touch longer than Ellis and I; anything and everything could have happened in that timecard. I just wondered what it was.

"But with that being said, I'll talk to him," Dad said and stood up when Mom called him in from the kitchen. "Don't worry your head over it. If I knew he'd be a danger to you, he'd still be halfway across the country."

He patted my shoulder as he passed by but the uneasy knot in my gut still swam around like a fish in dirty water. Maybe Julian wouldn't be a direct danger to me or my family but that still posed the question about my friends or just going anywhere with him in general without him flipping out in public at the slightest hint of a threat. Was he really trustworthy? Or just trigger happy?

I was starting to dread the upcoming weeks. Dad looked like he was still plenty busy with work and his occasional meetups with Sheriff Stilinski so that meant Julian would still be my impromptu instructor.

[O]

The night passed without disturbance and even though I woke up from a peaceful sleep, the eventual hike downstairs to the kitchen felt like I was slowly being submerged in quicksand. Like every morning at six o'clock, Dad's car was vacant from the garage and Mom was waiting by the island counter with a steaming coffee thermos in front of her. Even Julian's truck with missing from the driveway. I guess that meant Mom was dropping me off at school that morning, and I didn't even try to contain my happiness about that.

I pecked my Mom a kiss on the cheek when she pulled up to the campus curb and hurried out. I had a big Biology test that morning but the real weight on my mind was Scott and Stiles wanting to talk to all of us at lunch later about the altercation in the woods and everything else that was happening since then. Isaac still never told us what he was doing in the woods with us. But it wasn't like we didn't already know... anyone with eyes could see the glances he'd steal at Allison. Man, was that always weird to see.

When the bell rang signaling lunch, I zipped up my backpack and trudged out the doors to the tables where everyone was seated around. Stiles left a free seat for me across Lydia.

"Okay, so what happens to a person who has a near-death experience and comes out of it seeing things?" Scott mused out loud.

"And is unable to tell what's real or not?"

"And is being haunted by demonic visions of dead relatives?" Allison also added.

"They're all locked up because they're insane," Isaac said honestly.

"Ha," Stiles scoffed. "Can you at least try to be helpful, please?"

"For half my childhood, I was locked in a freezer. So being helpful is kind of a new thing for me."

"Hey, dude, are you still milking that?"

"Yeah, maybe I am still milking that."

"Guys, neither of you are being really helpful right now," I tried to reason with them but Stiles spread his hands on the table as if to say 'but Isaac's being whiny again.' Now was definitely not the time for petty arguing, though.

"Hi!" A new voice chirped. A girl with glossy black hair stood at our table, a smile on her lips and she fiddled with her fingers nervously. She looked familiar but I couldn't remember where. "Hi, sorry. I couldn't help overhearing what you guys were talking about. And I think I actually might know what you're talking about. There's a Tibetan word for it. It's called bardo. It literally means 'in-between state.' The state between life and death."

Lydia cocked her head at the girl. "And what do they call you?"

"Kira," Scott answered automatically and all heads snapped to him. "She's in our History class." Right, like that was the only reason he remembered her.

Lydia turned back to Kira again. "So are you talking Bardo in Tibetan Buddhism or Indian?"

"Either, I guess," she responded before looking at me. "Can I sit?"

I pulled my chin from my palm with a blink. "Oh, yeah, sure." I tapped the back of my fingers against Stiles' leg and he also slid over a little to make room for Kira at the end.

She made herself comfortable before continuing. "But all the stuff you guys were just saying? All that happens in Bardo. There are different progressive states where you can have hallucinations. Some you see, some you just hear. And you can by visited by peaceful and wrathful deities."

"Wrathful deities?" Isaac chimed in. "And what are those?"

"Like demons."

Stiles was on the verge on slamming his head to the table. "Demons. Why not?"

"Hold on," Scott glanced at all of us then. "If there are different progressive states, then what's the last one?"

"Death." Kira shrugged. "You die."

That effectively killed the vibe and whatever hopeful explanation we were tracking before Kira waltzed up. But now that we had the solid truth, we could actually find a solution to their night terrors and hallucinating. But where were we supposed to start? "Does it always happen?" I looked over at Kira then. "Do people always reach the final state?"

Kira hesitated, like she didn't want to be completely candid about this, but she smiled through the awkwardness anyway. Maybe in her eyes, this was research for a class project. "Most of the time? Yeah."

My chest felt like it was gonna cave in. If every person in the past associated with bardo died from it, then we were messing without something really beyond the limit of just supernatural, whether it came from the Nemeton or not. The whole ordeal was almost unavoidable. Scott, Stiles and Allison had no choice but to drown in that ice bath to get their parents back, but then that just sealed their fate. Horrors you saw when you sleep that eventually stalked you into reality too. There had to be some way to fight it. There had to be.

The situation and what I was telling myself was all too familiar. Deja vu. And I'd be lying if I thought I wasn't afraid.

[O]

When school ended, I met up with Julian in the woods, in a different area from where he almost committed first degree murder and I really wasn't looking forward to it. But Dad had been asking if he'd shown me anything since he came to town and I couldn't lie to him... Well, I could have but then he'd know. So I sucked it up and rode in the car beside him all the way out of town limits.

I didn't speak much on the way there and the mutual silence gave the idea that Julian didn't mind it that way either. Sometimes I wondered what was going on in his head though. Did he really want to be here with us? Or did Dad poach his presence because of what happened with the Alpha pack and was worried about me out of the house? Whichever it was he wasn't telling. So unlike Ellis.

I knew I shouldn't have compared them but after all that happened, it was hard to acclimate to someone so stitched up when I've been trying to be more open with my family. With friends. Julian was family too and family would always be the most important to me... but I still didn't know him. Not like that.

The truck cruised to a stop by the side of the road and I followed my cousin out to the bed. He took out the only black duffel black inside, curled two fingers around the handle and swung it behind his shoulder, before slamming the hatch up and leading the way into the woods.

My cell buzzed in my jacket pocket then.

It was from Allison. 'Study date with me and Lydia at my place tonight?'

Smiling, I quickly typed back a reply. It'd be nice to something normal for once in the midst of the Nemeton screwing with everyone's brain. 'Sure. I'll text you when I get there'

Still looking at the phone screen, I almost smashed into my cousin's back, not realizing he stopped walking. He didn't even react and just unzipped the bag, kneeling down to trifle through the selection. Still weird. But if he wasn't talking then maybe we'd actually get through this lesson with little to no verbal communication... at least I hoped. I was starting to loosen up a little at the thought until he stood up brandishing a shotgun.

Oh, no.

He wasn't actually expecting me to hold that thing, was he? Let alone fire it?

Julian cocked the barrel once and extended it like it was a note being passed in the middle of Social Studies, so I just stood there for a moment and gawked, wondering how he got this notion in his head I was ready for this.

"That's a shotgun, Julian."

"You don't need glasses. Nice to know."

That made me sigh. "What I'm trying to say is that I've barely fired a handgun yet. I think we're moving too fast here."

"It won't be a problem if you keep the barrel end at the target instead of your face," Julian answered. "But you're not that stupid and making excuses won't help you get over your fear."

"I'm not scared of guns."

"So take it." He all but thrust the gun in my face again and I instinctively leaned away from it like it was an animal about to bite me. But Julian didn't seem surprised at that and just hitched up the shotgun to lean it across his shoulder.

"Okay, okay, maybe I am," I said. "But after what happened with Ellis... I don't know. I just don't see them doing much good."

"It's not your fault he's dead, Alessandra."

I blinked at that, not at all expecting that reply from him when I was the one who was at our cousin's side when he took his last breath. I could have tried harder. That'd always haunt me. "Maybe not... but he's still gone."

"Do you really want to spend the rest of your life scared? Or do you wanna put a bullet in the thing that took him?"

Julian offered the gun again and I stared down at it as if it were a two way mirror and the other side played a never ending loop of my cousin's pale face, the bloodied gunshot in his side and me crying because I couldn't save him. If it wasn't my fault he was gone, then who was there to blame? Was it just fate... was he meant to go? Or was all because Beacon Hills was cursed and lurking with dangerous beings like the kanima and Grandpa Argent and their actions inadvertently stole my cousin away.

All I knew was that if there was a chance that I could help somebody I loved, maybe save their lives then I wanted to at least try. I was still afraid, but it would end knowing that I went through with it.

Taking a deep breath, I grabbed the gun from his hand and it almost dropped and smashed my foot from how heavy it was, but I gripped onto it tight.

It was even harder to hold it up and aim but after much struggling and repositioning, also with zero assistance from my cousin, I squeezed the trigger and the nearest tree where Julian planted a circle target exploded off a chunk of bark.

Julian looked like he instantly regretted coming out here to Beacon Hills, watching on with his arms folded and he shook his head a little when the target remained untouched.

"I got the tree," I told him sheepishly.

"Reload. Maybe you'll hit a leaf this time." An awkward pause made him stare down at me, brows crinkled. "What?" He barked.

"I don't know how. What part of me saying 'I've never shot a gun' don't you get?"

Julian ran a hand down his hair, fingers fisting at the back of his neck but he didn't explode like I thought he would, although he did seem genuinely bamboozled that I wasn't actually kidding about how I didn't know anything about handling firearms. Maybe I should have but I wasn't ready and I never imagined myself in a situation like this, much less thought I'd ever had to be armed with a handgun even when the first Alpha was terrorizing the streets. But we came a long way since then.

Now I was ready to take the first step.

We stayed in the woods a couple hours longer and almost missed dinner until Mom called me asking where we were. Despite things going relatively quiet since the Alpha pack disbanded, my friends' hallucinations was a warning sign enough to run inside at the barest hint of a shadow and part of that I was in the presence of my cousin's who knew his way around the supernatural world more than anyone.

I just hoped he kept those guns away from my friends.

[O]

That night after dinner, Julian dropped me off at Allison's apartment complex where her and Lydia waited patiently for me in her bedroom. Their homework was already spread out and I got my own notebooks ready, half forgetting the subject we were crash coursing but Lydia wasted zero time on getting me up to speed. Ever since the Darach, it was getting easier and easier to spend a the day like normal and lately my thoughts were occupied on if I'd turn in my math homework on time. It was a gradual change. One that I never thought would happen but still a nice one.

My eyelids drooped the later it got. I checked my phone once to see if Mom messaged on when she'd pick me up and in the midst of scrolling to her contact name, my thumb froze over Derek's number.

I thought about texting him, but truth was, I was scared. It'd been so long since I'd seen him and I didn't know what to say without sounding like I wasn't happy he left Beacon Hills with his sister, finally safe. That was better for him. I didn't want to be the one to tear him from it, no matter how much I missed him. He didn't have to come back... not for me.

I'd always love him.

Sleepy and filled with memories, I nodded off on the scratchy carpet of Allison's bedroom floor and remembered the warmth of Derek's arms.

A/N: Poor Isaac, first he almost gets shot in the woods then Scott later throws him into a wall. Anyway, I had a lot of fun writing this even though writer's block did hit me a few times. :( I'm excited to get through another season, though!

Thanks for reading!