I do not own Heart No Kuni No Alice. Or Joker, or Clover, and definitely not Diamond.

Disclaimer: Said. Done. Over. Build a bridge and get over it! Move on to the story already!

"Boris, Do we have to go all the way to the stupid clock tower? That Julius guy gives us the creeps, right brother?" Dee whined. "Yeah, I don't wanna spend my break talking to some creepy old guy . . . ." Dum added. Boris rolled his eyes. "Cut it out, Julius is alright, and we're not gonna go see him, we're gonna go kidnap Alice."

At the mention of Alice, Dee and Dum's eyes widened, "Yeah! Let's go see big sis! . . . . . Wait, you wanna kidnap her?" Boris nodded, "Yeah! She's pro'lly all bored over there with Julius, and she won't come willingly, so we have to go take her first, then show her how much fun it is to hang out with us. Then she'll wanna hang out with us all the time!" Dee and Dum nodded, "Off to the tower then, to save the princess!" Boris shouted.

"Operation 'Kidnap princess from creepy guy, commence!"

"Guys! I told you, he's not that creepy!"

With Alice~

Alice yawned as she watched Julius tinker with his clocks, she was tired from walking around all that morning, running errands for Julius. Her eyes scanned his worktable, occasionally catching something of interest. She held up an oddly shaped piece of wire. "What's this for?"

Julius looked up from his tedious work and examined the object in Alice's hand. "You just need to know that that is an essential piece which I will be needing for this clock, I don't need it now, but still, be careful with it." Alice hummed in response. "Okay . . . I'm gonna go make some coffee. Want any?" Julius nodded stoically, not noticing that Alice pocketed his super important piece of wire.

Alice smirked as she walked to the kitchen. "After all, if I have this, Julius will have to take a break!" Alice mused to herself as she prepared the coffee. Once done with said coffee, Alice carried a tray that held two cups to Julius, anticipating the score she would be getting for today. She smiled, confident she would be getting a one hundred today.

Julius took a sip, "Eighty-nine, better than yesterday's cup." Julius smiled slightly. Alice sighed, "But it's not a one hundred . . . . Meh . . . ." She started to sip her coffee, absorbed in her thoughts. 'At least it's better than yesterday, how can I make the coffee better? I need to improve . . . .' She drank the last sip of her coffee, and laid her head down on the table, her eyes lazily watching Julius' hands at work. Her last thoughts before drifting off were: 'That coffee was good, so warm . . . .'

With Julius~

'Amazing, how can someone go to sleep right after they've finished a cup of coffee? Honestly, this girl is something else.' His eye scanned her sleeping form. 'I should carry her up to her room, it's not very comfortable when you fall asleep on the table like that . . . .' Of course he would know that from experience. He sighed, and gently put down the clock he was working on.

He stood up and attempted to scoop up Alice without disturbing her. After struggling to hoist her up, he finally started towards the stairs that led to the bedrooms. She snored lightly as he walked up, and for the first time, he got to see her sleeping face. Not that he would ever admit this, but he thought that it was rather adorable.

He smiled, as he opened her bedroom door and gently set her down on her bed. She immediately snuggled into the warmth of his jacket when he carefully tossed it on her. Tink Tink. His ears pricked up at the delicate sound of metal hitting the floor. He looked down and saw the most important piece of the clock he was working on. He frowned slightly, was she trying to get him to take a break again?

He sighed and shook his head, exiting the room hastily to go finish his work.

With everyone~

"Boris nii-chan, are you sure this is Alice's window?" Dee questioned. "Yuppers! I always go through this one, so I'm sure!" Boris said with a grin. "Now, you wait here, and I'll throw Alice down to you, Okay?" Dee and Dum nodded cheerfully.

Before Boris could start climbing up the building, Dum asked "How are we going to make sure she doesn't run away? She gets mad when you do stuff like this, and doesn't talk to you for days. I don't want nee-chan to be mad at me . . . ." Boris thought for a minute, then gave his signature grin, "Then we'll blindfold her so she doesn't know it's us, and we'll make sure to tie her legs up with somethin' . . . But what do we use?"

Dee smiled, "Aren't you wearing chains and cuffs all the time? Duh." Boris nodded and began to climb.

Julius thought something was going up upstairs when he heard a rather loud thud, but shrugged it off and came to the conclusion that Alice woke up and bumped into something. But then again, he did hear her shriek . . . .

"Boris! Wha-" Boris cupped his hand over her mouth. "Shit! I forgot the blindfold!" Alice's eyes widened. "Mmmph!" Boris looked down at her. "Well, we don't want Julius to come up here and ruin the fun, let's go Alice!" Boris somehow managed to get cuffs on her legs while she was busy giving him a look that said "When I get my hands on you, I'm going to inject melted crayon wax into your veins so you die!" Yeah, that look.

Boris held Alice's tiny wrists with one hand, and with the other, tied a blindfold over her eyes, and using a piece of scotch tape, effectively stopped Alice's ability to speak. Alice sighed in her head, she might as well just let him take her to wherever he wants to go, after all, it's not like putting up a fight would do anything in this situation. After realizing that Alice stopped squirming, Boris smiled. "Come on Alice, it's not gonna be anything weird. We're just gonna have fun." And with that, Boris flung Alice out the window, and into the Twin's open arms.

"MMMMMMMMMMPH!" Alice tried to scream. Boris smiled as he watched her fall safely into the Bloody Twin's arms jumped a bit when a voice suddenly startled him. "Boris! What do you think you're doing?! Why did you- What did you do to Alice?!" Boris grinned sheepishly, replying ''I, uh, kinda just threw her out the window . . . ? Yeah, but it's not what you think! Dee and Dum-" 'You threw her out the window?!" Julius roared as he went past Boris to look over the edge, but saw nothing.

Boris followed, and before Julius could yell at him some more, Boris jumped down and started sprinting, disappearing into the forest. Julius cursed and walked downstairs. He sat in his chair, then got up, then sat back down. What was he supposed to do? Was he supposed to go after them? Or was he just making a big deal out of it?

After all, Boris and the Twins did occasionally come by now and then to visit Alice . . . . . But they had never thrown her out of a window before . . . . "ARGH! Dammit! I'm going after her!" You know that the mortician is serious when he uses words like 'dammit'.

Little did they know, someone saw and witnessed the whole thing. Of course it had to be Ace. And of course Ace was going to use this piece of information to make something fun happen.

Vivaldi was sipping a cup of her special black tea, Peter was getting angry at some of the unfortunate faceless. A loud bang disrupted their daily activities. "Guys! Guys! Alice has been kidnapped!" Ace dramatically came bursting through the doors. He smiled to himself when he saw Their reactions.

Vivaldi dropped her prized cup of tea, standing up at once. Peter accidentally pulled the trigger of the gun he was threatening the faceless with, the bullet puncturing the skin of his foot. Vivaldi was the first to react. She came power walking up to Ace, who was pretending to catch his breath. "You, idiot knight, what did you say?" Vivaldi asked over Peter's shouts of pain.

Ace looked up, and repeated, "Alice has been kidnapped." Vivaldi's face began to twist with anger, who dares take away her Alice? The next thing Ace knew, Peter had somehow hobbled over and was asking questions. "Who took her? Is she safe? When was this? Why didn't you stop them? Was she crying for me? Where is she? Why-" "SILENCE!"

Vivaldi hit the floor with her heart shaped staff, and the echoes were the only thing heard throughout the room. "Idiot knight, take us to where you last saw them." Ace grinned. ''It will be my pleasure, your highness."

Blood was walking around his mansion, bored. Blood being bored was not a good thing. It was, in fact, very very bad. He sighed, where was that interesting foreigner when you needed something interesting to happen? Blood went to find Elliot, maybe they could plan another tea party, then maybe he could see the foreigner.

While on his way to Elliot's room, Blood noticed the gates seemed somehow, empty. What was missing? He stood at the window and examined the picture. Something was off . . . . Oh, right, the Twins weren't standing guard. He nodded once and went into Elliot's room. "Hey Blood." Elliot greeted from his spot on his bed. "Hello Elliot. Did you notice that the Twins are skipping work again?"

Elliot frowned. "Those little . . .! Ugh, I swear, they make my life a lot harder than it should be." He grimaced as he got up from his comfy spot on the bed and began to walk towards the exit. "When I get my hands on them, they'll be sorry. Little idiots." Blood smirked. This could be interesting.

"Allow me to accompany you." "Oh, sure, you can yell at them too. They actually listen to you."

"Hey, brother?" Dee asked Dum. "Yeah brother?" Dum answered Dee. "We're missing work, you know." Dee responded to Dum. "Hmmm . . . Oh yeah! Oh well, it's not like I care about that stupid chickie rabbit, not when Big Sis is involved." Dum smiled as he looked back to Boris, who had Alice draped over his shoulder. "Mmmph mmmph mmmph." Alice tried to speak.

"Sorry Alice, can't take the blindfold off, and can't take off the cuffs. Like we said before, we're rescuing the princess from boredom." Dee asked, confused, "You said we were kidnapping the princess, not rescuing her. I thought we were the bad guys, not the good guys." Boris shrugged. "Same diff." Boris grinned, "Anyway, We can't let you go until we get to where we're going."

Dum asked, "Speaking of which, where are we going?" Boris hummed. "Hmm . . . . I dunno . . . where should we go?" Alice wanted to bang her head against the wall. "Oh! I know! We should go to the amusement park!" Dee exclaimed. Dum nodded, "Yeah! We haven't been there in awhile, right brother? A-and Big Sis and I can have fun, and we'll go on a scary ride, and she'll be scared, and she'll cuddle with me, and then we'll go in the Love Tunnel, and then, and the-"

"SHUT UP!" Boris and Dee chorused. Alice hid her ed face in Boris' back.

When would she be able to go back to the Clock Tower? "Well then, Off to the Amusement Park!" Boris shouted heroically, eyes shining.

Julius sighed as he trudged through the forest. "DAMMIT! Where are they?!"

ME: So, how was that? R&R! Pretty, gorgeous, please? Thank you!

~Can you feel the PONOPTICON?~