Guys Night Out Gone Horribly Wrong.

-EzraFitzgerald

It was Friday night. Ezra, Caleb, Toby, and Alex were all sitting in Toby's loft, beer in hand, trying to figure out what they were going to do while their girlfriends were out, as they were every friday night.

"What about video games?" Caleb offered, playing Plants Vs Zombies on his phone, not paying very much attention to anything but his phone.

"What if we all just drink some beer here?" Toby offered, looking as if he was on house arrest. "I mean, you remember what happened last time we went out... Ezra decided he would drive to Aria's while being completely wasted, and ran Byron over on accident, sending him to the hospital."

"That may not have been an accident..." Ezra said, hanging his head down in shame. He looked over at Alex, who had a giant grin on his face.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Alex asked, looking straight at Ezra.

"I think so!" Ezra replied. "On the count of three!" Ezra yelled, counting to three on his fingers. When the arrived at 'Three' Ezra and Alex spoke at the same time.

"Strip Club!" Alex yelled. Little did he know, Ezra was not thinking the same thing at all.

"CHUCK E CHEESES!" Ezra yelled, drowning out Alex's suggestion of going to the strip club. "Or Strip Clubs... I guess that works, too."

"LET'S GO!" Alex yelled, grabbing Toby's car keys, and running out the front door, and into the parking lot, where he jumped into the bed of Toby's truck, and started singing the Dora the Explorer theme song.

"Looks like we're going to the Strip Club," Toby said, regretting inviting Alex to the Loft. Ezra and Toby walk out, leaving Caleb on the couch, playing on his iPhone.

Caleb picks up his beer, and attempts to drink out of it. He looks up, realizing that his beer is empty. "Can I get more beer there?" He asks, looking around the room. "WHERE'D YOU GO! GUYS? EZY? TOBY? WALEX? NOOOOO!" Caleb roams around the room, looking for the guys. "GUYS, THIS ISN'T FUNNY! I CAN'T RISK DAMAGING MY MILLION DOLLAR BUTT CHEEKS! WHERE'D YOU GO?!" Caleb yells, looking in the kitchen cabinets.

Ezra walks back into the loft, since he forgot his phone, to find Caleb searching around the room, yelling about his butt cheeks and beer, and how Ezra and Toby are scaring the crap out of him.

"Hey, Caleb, are you going to join us in the truck, or are you going to continue searching the loft for people who walked outside?" Ezra says, making Caleb look up from the cabinet he was looking in, which was filled with Spencer's coffee.

"EZRA! OH MY COD, YOU'RE ALIVE! I THOUGHT YOU DIED IN ONE OF THESE CABINETS! Can we just leave now? I just want to get out of here!" Caleb yelled, grabbing his things, and running out the front door, out to Toby's truck where both Toby and Alex were now singing the Dora The Explorer theme song.

"No! You guys need to sing Spongebob! WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE, UNDER THE SEA?" Caleb says, as Ezra runs out of the Loft after locking the door, and making sure he has all his things.

"SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!" Toby and Alex sang as Caleb jumped into the bed of Toby's truck.

"ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE!" Ezra sang, getting into the passenger seat.

"SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!" They all sang, as Toby pulled away from the loft, and drove towards the strip club.

"If nautical nonsense is something you wish," Toby sang.

"SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS," The boys echoed.

"THEN DROP ON THE DECK, AND FLOP LIKE A FISH!" Alex sang, standing up in the bed of the truck, just to be pulled down by Caleb, who was afraid that Alex would be decapitated by one of the signs on the parkway.

"SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!" Ezra yelled as they parked in front of the strip club, which made everyone look at the 25 year old teacher like he was an alien. "Oops..." he said, stepping out of the truck, and onto the pavement of the parking lot.

"WE'RE HERE! YES! FINALLY!" Alex yelled, jumping out of the bed of the truck. He looked around the parking lot, until he saw one car that looked oddly familiar. "Hey, Caleb. Isn't that Hanna's car?" Alex asked. "No, it can't be! Hanna would NEVER go to a strip club! She's a good girl!" Alex says, turning around, and facing the double doors to the Club, and strutting over to the doors.

Ezra walked right past Alex, and into the strip club. Ezra and Toby were quickly surrounded by girls, but there was one that Ezra he saw, and he knew he had to talk to. He pushed past all the girls surrounding him, leaving Toby with all the girls, and walked over to the bar, where a tiny raven haired girl was seated by herself. He sat down next to her, and ordered a beer for himself, and the beautiful girl next to him. He knew that if Aria found out about him being at a strip club he would have the crap beat out of him by the tiny fists of the love of his life. He looked the small girl next to him up and down, and realized she was wearing six inch platform heels. She had to be the same height as Aria standing up.

The bartender brought over two beers, and Ezra handed one to the girl next to him, placing his hand upon her small one, which caused her to look up at him. Ezra was shocked to see who he was sitting next to.

"Aria?" He asked, looking her in the eyes. "What are you doing here?" He asked, shock in his voice.

"Ezra?" Aria said, her voice full of shock. "I didn't think you would be here! I'm SO sorry! It was Emily's Idea!" She said, looking in Ezra's eyes. "Wait... Why am I apologizing? Why are YOU here?"

"It was Alex's idea... I suggested Chuck E Cheeses!" Ezra said, throwing his hands up, as if the police were trying to arrest him.

...Meanwhile...

"ALEX ELIZABETH SANTIAGO!" Cher yelled, chasing her boyfriend around the strip club. "YOU KNOW BETTER THAN SUGGESTING TO COME TO A STRIP CLUB!" She yelled, grabbing her boyfriend by his curly hair.

"CHER! DON'T FEED MY LOLLIPOP TO THE DINOSAURS! I JUST WANTED A HAM SANDWICH! THAT'S WHY I WAS GIVING RHONDA MONEY!" Alex yelled, trying to get away from his girlfriend.

Caleb was clearly already wasted, and dancing with the red head, Rhonda, on stage. He didn't realize that Rhonda was a stripper, and he really only wanted to get some McDonalds from her, but she told him that he needed to dance with her first, so he danced his little heart out until Hanna pulled him off the stage.

"CALEB RIVERS, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Hanna yelled, pulling him towards him by his ear. "YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO GO TO A STRIP CLUB!" She said, pulling him out of the double doors.

"BUT I WANT MY HAPPY MEAL!" Caleb yelled, getting into the car with Hanna, where she drove him to McDonalds, and bought him a Happy Meal.

...Meanwhile...

"Spencer?" Toby said, looking at Spencer, who was paying a male stripper for a lap dance. "Spencer Jill Hastings, what are you doing here?" He asked, pushing the stripper away from Spencer, and taking the money away from him. "You," Toby says, looking at the stripper. "Get your sexy butt cheeks away from my equally sexy girlfriend!" Toby says, not realizing what he's saying because of how intoxicated he is. "Get out of here, and go spend time with the playboy bunny twins!" Toby says, pointing to two body guards that he believes look like giant fluffy bunnies. Spencer laughs at Toby, taking him by the hand, and dragging him out out of the Strip Club, and out to his truck.

"Aria and Emily have their own cars. They can get themselves home." Spencer says, pulling Toby into the bed of his Truck, and forcing her lips upon his.

...MEANWHILE...

"Emily, I don't think we should be here. What if my dad finds out?" Paige says, looking at her girlfriend with pure fright in her eyes.

"Paige, you worry way too much. If you want to leave, then we can leave. Just let loose, and forget about the real while for a little bit!" Emily says, lounging on one of the couches while paige stood next to her, uncomfortably. Emily was just about to receive a lap dance from a blonde girl who's name was Rebekah. She looked way too much like Samara, and was way too eager to give Emily a lap dance.

"Emily, I think we should leave. I'm not enjoying this place very much." Paige says, looking at Rebekah with pure envy in her eyes.

"Ugh! Paige, you're such a buzzkill!" Emily says, getting up off the couch. She quickly wrote down her number and passed it to Rebekah while Paige wasn't looking. She mumbled"Maya would've been fine at a strip club..." as she took Paige's hand, and walked out to her car.

…MEANWHILEEEE...

Ezra and Aria sat at the bar, singing songs, and laughing about what they thought everyone else was doing right now. Ezra looked at the time on his iPhone. 2:08 am

"I believe it's time we go home." Ezra says, grabbing Aria's hand. He paid the bartender for the two beers that he had purchased at 10:00 pm when he first arrived at the strip club. Aria walked out, hand in hand, and got into Aria's car. Ezra went to pull out of the parking lot, but he saw Cher chasing Alex around the parking lot.

"ALEX! GET BACK HERE! DON'T YOU MAKE ME CALL MY FATHER!" Cher yelled. She pulled the "I'll call Detective Wilden on you" Card, which made Ezra and Aria laugh hysterically.

"NO CHER, PLEASE DON'T! ANYTHING BUT WILDEN!" Alex yelled, running towards Aria's car. Alex jumped on top of the car, yelling for the driver to pull away as fast as possible, which caused Ezra and Aria to laugh even more. Cher rolled her eyes, and pulled Alex off of the roof of Aria's car. Aria unlocked the back doors so that Cher could throw Alex in the back seat, and sit down.

"EZRA! PWEASE SAVE ME! CHER'S GOING TO CUT OFF MY WOWWIE POWP AND FEED IT TO THE DIWNOSOWRS!" Alex yelled, shaking the drivers seat. Ezra starts pulling out of the parking lot, and Aria hands Alex a ham sandwich.

"Alex, calm down! Eat a snickers! Do something other than crying about Cher and your lollipop!" Aria says, throwing candy bars at Alex's face.

It takes Ezra a little less than an hour to get to Spencer's lake house so that Cher can get her car. Cher drags Alex out of Aria's car by his hair, and Ezra and Aria drive off to Ezra's apartment. Ezra sings the Dora the Explorer theme song the entire way to the apartment, causing Aria to join in. When they get to Ezra's apartment Ezra parks Aria's car, opens Aria's door for her, and carries her up to room 3B. When they get in, Ezra places her on the bed, and lays down next to her. He looks across the room to the couch, and sees none other than Maggie sitting on the leather couch, looking at them.

"I've been waiting for you to come home, Ezra. Where were you?" Maggie says, walking over to Eza's bed. Ezra screams and starts throwing pillows at Maggie. "Baby, what are you doing? Who's this whore in our bed?" Maggie asks.

"MAGGIE, GET YOUR CRAZY, OVERLY ATTACHED BUTT CHEEKS OUT OF MY APARTMENT! I DON'T LOVE YOU! GET OUT! HOW'D YOU GET IN HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?" Ezra yelled, looking around the room. He knew she didn't have a key, and had no idea how she got in.

"Your window was open..." She said, as if it was obvious.

"Maggie. Get your crazy ass out of my apartment!" Ezra says, getting up and pushing maggie out of the apartment. He locked the door, and strutted his billion dollar butt cheeks over to Aria. He jumped into the bed next to her, and went right to sleep.

THE END!