A/N: This is just a one-shot of Percabeth. It is set when Percy and Annabeth are nineteen. The titan and the Giant wars are over.
Disclaimer: I am Female, therefore I am not Rick Riordan, Therefore I do not own PJO. I wish.
Annabeth POV
"Damn you!" The curse rings through the Athena cabin, but most of my siblings don't wake up. I do, however. Groaning as the moonlight burns my eyes, I step outside and freeze.
Because Percy is standing there, slashing wildly at anything that he can reach. "Damn you, Fates!" He screams, hacking the head off a dummy. I wonder briefly if he's gone insane, but his next words make me freeze. "Why can't you leave Annabeth and I alone?!" He drives the tip of Riptide through the dummy, ripping it apart.
I slowly back away, but stay close enough to hear what he has to say. "Haven't we suffered enough?" His voice is piercing, the kind that he uses on monsters, not humans, and certainly not the gods. But here he is, doing it.
I don't know if I'm expecting the gods to blast him or fry him to a crisp.
"Look, I know," He continues. "Just because you gods couldn't keep it in your pants-no offense, goddesses, and not you, Athena,-" He adds, making a good last minute choice for the first time.
Thunder booms and lightning flashes, but he's on a roll. "Do you know? That everytime you guys have sex, there's a result! There's a human born from that, and that human is a demigod. And you've just sealed them to a horrible fate." He glares up at the sky, completely ignoring the fact that the lightning is getting worse.
"Do you?!" His fists are clenched. "Do you? You only care about you! Not the demigods, not the women that you screw. Only you! But guess what? We suffer. We pay the price for your mistakes every single day. Do you know how many kids died just trying to make it to Camp? Do you even care?" I consider stepping out of the shadows and telling him to stop, but I held myself back.
"Do you?" his voice is strained now, almost panicked. "Do you know when your children are suffering? Because I didn't give you the oath just so you could have more children. I made you take it so your children could be happy. Feel loved. I guess you don't want that, huh?" Percy flips his pen over in his hand and unsheathes it again.
"I'm tired of this," He finally announces. "I'm tired of being a hero." The sky darkens, but he pays it no attention. "Why should I serve Olympus if all I get is pain? Give me one damned reason that I shouldn't just quit!"
The sky rumbles. "I don't want to fight anymore." He throws down his sword. "We get nothing in return. And before you say, I offered you immortality, yada yada yada, you know, it doesn't really make a difference! Sometimes, being immortal is harder then being mortal. Because when you are mortal, at least death is certain."
I'd never heard Seaweed Brain sound so logical before, but I could relate to what he was saying.
"Haven't you all wished you were mortal sometimes? Tell me. You watch all your loved ones die, friends, lovers, everyone, while you stay immortal. Don't you all wish something was certain?" He stared at the dark sky, which was beginning to lighten after Zeus got over his rage.
There was a pause as Percy spins his pen around between his fingers.
"Why?" He asked. "Why do you send us through such horrible fates? People say that I look like I've gone through hell-I have! I have, because of you! I've seen everything-well almost everything. Death, insanity, some people are really better off dead. Because when your body is alive but your soul is sleeping...that's the worst feeling in the world."
THe faintest trace of sun peeked out from behind the clouds, but he just glances up and sighs.
"You know, all those pills for depression? They don't work. They never do work. That's because they're for people who believe they can better. Believe in hope. And the thing is, depression...it's got less to do with sadness and more to do with sanity."
I still wasn't sure who he was talking to, but I stuck around to listen a little more.
"You wouldn't understand," He whispers so quietly that I almost don't hear him. "You wouldn't understand. Because no matter what you want yourselves to believe, the gods don't know everything. And one thing you can never understand is death. So many people that I've watched die. It has no effect on you; you won't die. Ever. But we will. And we can plan, think ahead, but we can never stop fate."
Another sigh.
"You know what, Poseidon? That day, seven years ago? When you said that you were upset that I was born? You were right. I never should've been born. I've been born with a hero's fate. And a hero's fate is almost never good."
I step out of the shadows. "Percy." He turns.
"Annabeth! How long-" I shrug. I am reluctant to tell him just how long that I have been standing there, watching him, but I feel like he deserves to know. And by the look on his face, he already knows. He is the only one who is able to read me like a book.
"Most of it." He sighs, and beckons me over. I come.
He laces his fingers through mine. "I meant what I said, you know? I don't want to be a hero. I'm not a hero, either. The real heroes? They have to die to prove it."
And as I think of all those who perished in the life full of wars that both of us lived, I think that maybe he's right.