Since Insanity was so short, here's some shit I wrote at like three in the morning. (:

(and was meant to upload like two days ago...sorry, so much homework!)

"Phil, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Dan, this better not be more bullshit!"

"It's not!" he called back.

I sighed, abandoning Tumblr to go through to the kitchen yet again to see what his lordship wanted this time; he held up two packets, one in each hand.

"Maceroni or lasange?" he beamed.

I scowled. "Was that it?!"

I turned to leave, but before I could even fully face away from him, he'd grabbed my waist. "Don't leave me," he whispered, pleading with his eyes as well as his words.

"What the fuck, Dan?"

"I've tried to tell you the last five times I called you in here for random reasons and I just- I just...I can't!" he wailed as he fled the room, sobbing.

Then he was back to take totoro from the fridge and throw him at me.

Then he ran away again.

Then he was back, embarrassment flooding his face as he returned for the ice cream. As soon as he had it in his grasp he started to dramatically sob again and continued his strop.

I sighed; I knew what this was.

I decided I'd go after him, since this fic would be pretty damn boring if I didn't go after the howelling Dan, now wouldn't it? Absolutely no pun intended whatsoever. We all want to see what the drama queen wanted to say even though 90% of you have already guessed, haven't you? Yeah, don't bullshit me.

I knocked on his door. "Hey Dan, stop being so dramatic, it's just a bit OTT, y'know?"

He poked his head around the door, "Was it that bad? Too much?"

"Both," I replied.

"Well, I just wanted to say that I love you Phil, and I have since the moment I layed my eyes on yo-"

"Oh please, is that cheesy shit really the best you can do? Delia freaking Smith could do better than that while making sushi. Gotta do better than that, Howell."
He stood there, shocked to the core at my unexpected reply. "B-but! But! I've just sacrificed every ounce of my dignity, not to mention our friendship, to tell you how much I LOVE you and I want you to be my boyfriend! Fuck Phil, this is the bit where you've to run off screaming how much I can't possibly love someone as worthless as you and try to comit suicide or something!"

"Oops, must've forgotten my lines again," I rolled my eyes.

"You should know by now, Phil; every good fanficition needs passion, drama, romance and of course two devilishly handsome young males such as ourselves to have sexy times."

"I don't love you," I smirked.

"Don't fuck this up, Phil!"

"I don't. I'm sorry, but fanfiction is what the thirteen year olds that don't smoke weed do because they have no lives. You know that and I know that."

"I mean it, don't do thi-"

"I'm done. I'm gonna go have a threesome with PJ and Chris for some other lunatic's fanfiction because this one sucks dick."

"You leave me no choice, I'll have to-"

"Rape me? Get me sunburned so you can eat me? Feed my cheese? Murder me?"

"I just want you...so badly," Dan growled, suddenly unable to control himself, but of course I don't know this because I'm ovbiously in denial at this part of the story. And with that I was pulled into the 'love of my life's' room and harshly thrown on his bed where we got each other wet and when we were done our thumbs were so sore they could've fallen off.

Yeah, we played Crash Bandicoot so hard our thumbs were numb and we had to both lie back on his bed, panting and sweating.

"We're never doing this again."

"Agreed."

*cries*