Crowley practically fell out of his chair backwards in surprise. He tried to say something, but instead found himself frowning at the old hunter, his mouth open in his attempt to speak. He finally managed to exclaim, "Excuse me?!"
The old hunter finally let the grin spread across his face. "There is nothing more interesting then making the King of Hell flustered." Bobby leaned back in his chair ever so slightly crossing his arms. "Although, do I really need to repeat myself?"
After staring at the hunter for a good solid minute, the demon relaxed a bit, hiding the confusion on his face and saying matter-of-factly, "You're just messing with me."
Only to have the hunter laugh in response. "You know what they say; The only people who give 100% truth are small children and totally wasted bastards."
"And you're..." Crowley's eyebrows began a slow descent down his face. "You're completely wasted, aren't you?"
"What do you think, you idjit?" Bobby smirked, going for another bottle of beer. Half in fear of sobering up, and the other half of just needing something to get him through the night.
"Bobby, you're... You're dead serious?" The demon, still clearly uncomprehending of what the hunter had said and unsure of his own feelings on the matter.
Bobby rolled his eyes, getting annoyed of having to repeat himself. Can't the demon take a sexual advance when its being shoved down his throat. "Was I being to subtle?" The hunter asked with full sincerity and innocence.
It could practically be seen through his eyes as Crowley considered how to respond, his mind whirling curiously as he thought first of his feelings, then of the logical course of action.
"Clearly," he began slowly. "You're not thinking straight right now. Maybe you should get some sleep, and in the morning we will talk about... That."
"I'll sleep..." The hunter began, a small devious smile slightly appearing on his lips, "If you sleep with me."
Crowley instantly frowned, followed by a look of consideration that lasted meer seconds, before frowning again. "No... Bobby, you're drink off your skunk. You know you'd regret it."
"Are you telling me that? Or yourself?" The hunter asked, in a somewhat sober tone.
"I'm talking about you." Crowley smirked slightly. "I already know how I'd feel." He winked.
This caused the hunter to look straight at the demon. He smiled. "I think you already know my feelings Crowley."
"I think you'll beat yourself up about this in the morning..." The smirk grew across his face. "Then again I never really was a morning person."
The old hunter smiled and got up from the table. He extended his hand and as the demon grabbed it they both walked off to Bobby's room.
The next morning as Sam and Dean drove over to Bobby's house, Dean was ridiculing Sam about his running away act. From the backseat was their favorite little angel, Castiel hoping to understand why Sam ran away in the first place and was forced to fight Crowley.
"Dean, I am not a child, you don't have to go and tell on me to Bobby." Sam growled, seriously annoyed with his older brother.
"If you're not gonna listen to me, maybe Bobby can talk some sense into you, that's all I'm saying." the older hunter replied as they pulled up to the old house.
Dean reached out to push the door open, but was stopped by Cas's hand on his shoulder. "Shouldn't we knock?"
Dean rolled his eyes. "What do you think he's doing? Having a slumber party with Satan?"
Cas gave his usual look of confusion as the three strode into the house, clearly not understanding what he meant by 'slumber party'. They followed the sound of shuffling around to the kitchen, to see the most unexpected of guests standing, in nothing more than underwear in the kitchen, pouring coffee.
"Maybe not Satan, but the next best thing..." Sam mumbled awestrucked. He looked to his brother and the angel. If anything Castiel was more confused then the both of the combined. They were distracted by a noise, only to add more confusion to their minds. As they looked they saw another man, in nothing but his boxers. The man stopped, dead in his tracks.
"Balls!" Bobby shouted, turning back to wear more presentable clothing.
Dean looked between Crowley and Bobby, his face riddled with confusion. "Bobby," he demanded, blinking a few times. "What is going on?"
"Well, isn't it obvious?" Crowley asked, grabbing two cups of coffee off the table. "We fucked." He walked out of the room with a smug smirk. "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bedroom."
"So..." Castiel shifted on his feet. "This is what it means when you say, 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer'?"
The whole room looked to Castiel. "What?" He asked, very confused with the strange looks everyone is giving him.
"Cas, that is far from the meaning. When they say keep your enemies close they don't mean sleep with them. Bobby, what the hell were you thinking?" Sam asked, not sure if the expression was completely appropriate at this time.
"'Hell' is exactly what he was thinking, he-" Dean cut himself short, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "Man, that's just nasty."
"At least if my sinful acts are with an actual unholy beast, and not an angel of the Lord." Bobby blurted, as Dean just stood there mouth open
"I can assure you that Dean and I have yet to do any sinful acts. If you are referring to the act of intercourse my Father does not think man on man love is wrong." Castiel explained, causing Dean to just turn to a bright crimson red.
"Dean, its not very nice of you to be a hypocrite." Sam smirked, enjoying the attention placed on his brother and his father figure then the original purpose of this trip.
"Oh don't pretend you've got such a clean slate!" Dean said, exasperated. "Isn't Crowley our enemy? Shouldn't we be, I don't know, ganking him?"
Bobby took a giant breath. "Dean, since this is your area of expertise don't you know what a one night stand it?" He asked, getting slightly flustered.
"One night stand?" Castiel asked, getting waves of mixed signals from the hunters.
"Shut up, Cas." All three of them chimed in unison. Cas gave his puppy dog face as he looked down trying to understand what's happening.
"Yeah but Crowley? Really? Do you understand how many times that guy has tried to kill us?" Dean didn't appear to he wavering in his opinion. "He's the King of Hell, for Pete's sake!"
"Yes well he's my King." Bobby growled, as the effects of a nasty hangover started to begin. This comment earned a few sick looks from the younger hunters.
"Bobby, while I'm really happy you found someone, please remember this; that same someone took your soul, almost gotten you killed, almost gotten Dean and I killed many times, fought Cas, tried to open Purgatory, and lastly is the King of Hell." Sam said, hoping Bobby will see his mistake before he gets killed or heartbroken.
Dean indicated his agreement with Sam using some strange body montions that mostly looked like flailing, followed by, "You see?"
"So let me get this straight? If Sam were to say, oh I dunno, fall for Lucifer would that be okay?" Bobby asked, getting seriously pissed off. Sam starred at the question but had no comment.
"Uh... No." Dean expressed utter befuddlement as he stared at Bobby in confusion, glancing at Sam as if to say, 'You haven't, right?'
Sam looked back to his brother. 'Uh... no comment?' Sam answered with another glance, slightly bitting his lip.
Dean rolled his eyes and mumbled a few swears under his breath.
"I believe I understand why Sam is not objected to sleeping with the bad guy." Cas, said, reading Sam and Dean's mind.
"You're kidding me," Dean breathed.
"See, now none of you have a right to ridicule me on my choices. Now if you don't mind, leave the my damn house." Bobby gruffed, mentally begging for the three idjits to leave.
"Dean, he's got a point," Sam said, turning towards the door. "We're... Sorry, Bobby," he said.
"Whatever." Bobby said rolling his eyes, his own way of an apology. The trio walked out the door and drove to who knows where. Bobby walked back to his bedroom, where he found his demon waiting for him. As much as Bobby hated getting way wasted, this time wasn't so bad.