Silence, thick and dark, filled the Ares cabin. I guessed that it was around 4:00; the sun was barely spilling over the horizon and the air was crisp. I looked to my left, and saw my half siblings, asleep still and sprawled in various positions. Waves crashed outside, barely audible, but they reminded me of my plan. The sadness returned, but also the steely resolve, the stubbornness that had always been my most distinct trait. I crept off the mattress slowly to prevent the springs from waking anyone else up. Crossing into one of the shower chambers, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Emotions battled inwardly, and they were like no other opponent I had ever fought. Desperation, sadness, and doubt whispered to me like a funeral hymn, but determinedness just barely trumped them. I dared myself to move, and the thing about me was, I never backed down from a dare. The last mental reminder that fueled me was him, Percy. I wanted so badly for him to notice me, a fact that completely appalled me. Still, I couldn't fight it; my feelings weren't something I could just stab with my electric spear. Damn, I wish it was that easy.
So, swallowing my doubt like a bad tasting pill, I reached into my sock and retrieved what I had been hiding all day: a tube of mascara, stolen from the Aphrodite campers. Normally, just thinking about makeup would make me scoff, but Percy had changed all of that. My feelings for him had made me desperate, not like myself. And I hated it. Uncapping the cylindrical tube, I inhaled deeply. I wrinkled my nose at the gunky black substance, but lifted the wand to my eyes, nevertheless. I paused with it parallel to my upper lashes, looking at my face. My mouth went dry and my breathing went ragged. Tears filled my eyes, making them burn. I squeezed them shut and threw the mascara wand to the ground. No, I wasn't going to do this! Unable to meet my own eyes in the glass anymore, I gripped the sides of the sink and bowed my head. Sobs escaped me, and I immediately caught myself, shoving my sadness back inside and stifling more tears. More than ever, I wished I was pretty and feminine, like Silena or Annabeth. I was ALWAYS taking a step down because of them, and I just wanted to able to feel pretty for once. A creaking sound rang in my battle honed hearing: one of my siblings was awake and out of bed. I knew they would be followed by more, so, forcing myself to look remotely normal, I scooped up the mascara and recapped it. Slipping it into my sock again, I stepped away from my reflection.