A/N: I actually updated this ages ago on AO3 so I'm really just moving this over here (Shrugs)

Law of the Shinobi

Death is a Shinobi's most faithful companion,

Secrets are a Shinobi's lifeblood,

And Trust is a Shinobi's most precious possession.

OoOoO

Gato leered at the gorgeous, green-haired whore who was watching him with eager, copper eyes from where she was kneeling on the neat, gold-toned mat she and her fellow whores had arrived with. "Gifts from Tatsuyoshi-dono of the Most Honorable Seiki Family" the beautiful whore had informed him demurely, even as her hungry eyes watched him from under long, curled lashes, a flicker of a pink tongue darting across her lips.

"Leave us," he ordered the leering samurai guard at the door, who had his eyes locked on the green-haired whore. "And make sure we're not disturbed," he added; the samurai's leer widened even as he pushed away from the door and left.

"Have fun, Boss!" he called; the sound of knowing laughter echoed out of the other room before the door to the sound-proofed office closed, and Gato turned to leer at the whore.

"Get over here, bitch," he ordered; she rose to her feet and sashayed quickly over to him, dropping her pale gold kimono to the ground and exposing her gloriously naked body as she did so, making Gato's leer widen eagerly. In one swift movement, the whore had straddled the short tyrant in his throne-like office chair, and slowly ground down against the erection he was sorting in his dress pants.

"That's it, bitch," he groaned, hands lifting to grab harshly onto her glorious breasts, mouth latching onto a nipple to bite at sharply, making the whore gasp and moan before she reached down between their bodies and undid his pants. There was a strange, soft, popping sound behind her that caught Gato's attention for barely half-a-second, before the whore was lowering herself onto his erection with a soft cry, and proceeded to ride him while he cursed and bit her breast, hands falling to grip onto her hips bruisingly tight.

He didn't notice the second presence in the room; too busy chasing his pleasure to care. When he came, the whore did as well, and arched her long, beautiful body back, mouth open and wet as she cried out, and he barely caught a glimpse of blond hair and the gleam of metal before his brain was pierced by the sharp blade of the simple hunting knife, and he died with a choked twitch, making the whore give a shudder at the feeling.

"While it was too good a death for the likes of you," Naruto informed the corpse easily as he removed the knife from the ex-tyrant's forehead and wiped it on the man's suit as Akina slid from his body with a stretch and a smirk, "dying in pleasure was the quickest way to get in. Good job, Akina," he informed the other clone, who saluted him lazily and returned to her kimono, the gold mat suspiciously gone.

You have the sealing scroll?" she asked; he nodded, and promptly sealed the corpse away, before any blood or other body fluids could soak into anything. With a flare of hand-signs, Naruto transformed into Gato, mussed and satisfied, and leered at Akina as he sat behind the desk and lit up one of the real Gato's fat cigars, missing his cigarettes badly.

"I think I'm going to retire early," 'Gato' informed the Greenette, who perched her naked ass on his desk, kimono barely on at all, and crossed her bared legs primly, smirking back at him.

"I think splitting your fortune would be the best way to go," she commented, and handed 'Gato' a folder filled with already-complete forms, so he could memorize the writing style and signature.

"An excellent idea, my dear," he purred, and got to work in the delicate art of forgery.

Later that day, Konoha and the Land of Wave both received thirty-percent of the entirety of Gato's wealth. Ten percent of what was left went into the pockets of Momochi Zabuza and his Apprentice, which was nearly three times as much as they'd been offered, with a note to Haku saying Tools work best when paired with other Tools, and a suggestion of stopping by in Konoha sometime when the two decided to settle down for a stretch. Five percent of the remaining twenty went straight to Tazuna and his family, and three percent of the remaining fifteen went into commissioning a statue to honor little Inari's hero.

And the last twelve percent went, of course, to The Butterfly Palace, as an early birthday present for his Kaasan.

OoOoO

The Hokage looked at the pile of sealing scrolls on his desk with a small frown. Naruto sat in the chair on the other side, sharpening a kunai under the sharp eyes of the ANBU hiding in the shadows of the office. Inside of one of the scrolls, was the body of Gato. In the rest, were various other members of his thugs... The ones with bounties, at least.

"Naruto-kun," the Hokage started slowly. "How did you get these?" Naruto slipped his kunai away and blinked at him.

"I killed them during the last mission," he said simply, and blinked at the flash of alarm that crossed the Hokages face.

"Will you explain how?" He asked; Naruto nodded.

"Seduction and infiltration," he replied, and then explained how he had infiltrated the organization with multiple Kage Bunshin solidly transformed into prostitutes, under the guise of gifts from the local Yakuza family. He then proceeded to use said Kage Bunshin to seduce the higher members of the organization, distracted them, and killed them, before making another Bunshin to transform and take their places, while keeping the corpses to collect their bounties.

"And Kakashi let you do this?" The Hokage asked, dark eyes promising retribution; Naruto gave him a bizarre look.

"Jiji, Kakashi-sensei wanted us to do Tree Climbing until he healed enough to fight Zabuza on his own," Naruto deadpanned, eyes narrowed. "He's also rather obsessed with getting us to work together which, frankly, is next to impossible, with his apathy towards mine and Sakura's training and his obsession with Sasuke's. Sakura is an obsessed, book-smart fangirl, Sasuke is a mildly talented Avenger, and I'm a Red Light District trained prostitute." The Hokage seemed to age at that last bit.

"Training times have literally become Sakura cheering for Sasuke or practicing her make-up skills, Sasuke training with Kakashi and mocking us, and me leaving a Kage Bunshin behind while I work a few hours at the whorehouse." Naruto dragged a hand through his hair, scowling. "Kakashi-sensei is a good ninja, I get that, Jiji, but the fact of the matter is he's so obsessed with his dead teammate's last living relative that he's willing to overlook his other students. The pressure on Sasuke isn't going to change his mind about anything, ignoring Sakura isn't going to keep her from getting killed next time a mission is miss-labeled, and, if this is what the Shinobi Corps is limited too, I will quit and disappear into the District, where I earn more money and better treatment! It's ridiculous, Jiji," he huffed, ruffling his hair again with a scowl.

"It is," Sarutobi admitted, frowning heavily at his desk, pulling his pipe from his robes and lighting the cup. Naruto immediately pulled out a cigarette and lit up, arching an eyebrow at the frown he earned. They sat in silence for several minutes, before the Hokage let out a long, low sigh of smoke, and nodded at Naruto.

"The bounties will be claimed and you will receive the full fifteen percent a Genin Team usually splits," the Hokage informed him calmly. "Twenty percent will be given to your... Home," he grimaced slightly in disapproval, but didn't comment further about The Palace. "The rest will be distributed into the Shinobi Corps budget like usual. I'll keep an eye on Kakashi from now on, and if his training style doesn't change by the Chunin Exams, I will personally remove you all from his command and see to it that you are properly trained." Naruto blinked at that, before bobbing his head with a faint smile.

"Hai, Jiji. Thank you," he stood and bowed, turning towards the door to leave, before pausing and turning around to eye the Hokage and his paper-covered desk consideringly.

"...Jiji," he began slowly, "...Did you know, that anything your Kage Bunshin knows, you know?" The Hokage's brows furrowed, and he nodded his head. Naruto gave him a deadpan look, before sighing. "Kage Bunshin, Jiji. You know what they know." He stared at the old man, before realization slowly dawned and he dropped his pipe, mouth gaping slightly. Naruto smiled faintly. "See ya, Jiji!" he called over his shoulder as he slipped out the door, closing it behind him just in time to hear the Hokages long stream of cursing and hysterical laughing.

Later, when he received his pay from the bounties, he found an extra five-percent, for Services Rendered to the Hokage, and his average Genin pay nearly doubled.

OoOoO

"Ayumu-kun," Chinatsu Chouko purred as she dragged her perfectly manicured nails down the male's well-defined chest, earning a light shiver and a sharp grin.

"Chouko-chan," he purred back, and allowed himself to be dragged into the nearest empty room, flicking on the little light outside the door to let others know the room was in use. The tall, tan prostitute soon found himself shoved to the ground, his leather clothing ripped from him as the off-duty Chunin began to use him for her pleasure, not that he was complaining. Chouko paid well and visited often, preferring Ayumu's dark hair, tanned body, and large hands, which were pieced with abnormally sharp canines and dark hazel eyes.

Chouko rode him twice in the next several hours, and let him pin her against the floor, and then the wall, before the two of them collapsed onto the floor. After about twenty minutes, Chouko stretched, got up with a wink, and got dressed before leaving him. Ayumu sighed and closed his eyes, before he made a clone of himself and had it pop, so that the original Naruto and other clones would know and make sure that the proper amount of pay had been given at the desk, and that it was received. It was a system they had created once they figured out how easy it was to cheat them out of money, and how difficult multiple prostitute personas were to keep track of. So, whichever Naruto was working in the office (a surprisingly comfortable thing that used to be a storage closet before the big Gato paycheck had allowed Akemi-Kaasan to buy the large building next door and pay to have both buildings connected and cleaned up) would write down all the personas monetary gains and make sure that they were paid.

Not that all of Naruto's clones were prostitutes, anymore. Since the Wave Mission, he'd spread out a bit, gaining low-level jobs around town, having semi-permanent clones with backgrounds and lives and everything. It was a rather nice little spy ring, and sometimes he was able to hand slip some information to the Hokage and get paid in ramen or money or advice on what to study…

He wouldn't have minded some actual Jutsu, but knew that the Hokage couldn't been seen as showing favoritism, and it was bad enough that he was on friendly terms with Naruto, and allowed the Genin to call him "Jiji".

Ayumu sighed and got up, grabbing his tattered clothes before rolling his eyes and dispelling them, before making his way to the shower provided in each room for clean-up. He'd just transform himself some after he'd washed away the sweat, semen, juices, and the bit of blood that the Chunin had dragged from his back with her nails. Then it was back to work.

OoOoO

"Chunin Exams?" Naruto asked their Sensei dubiously; the silver-haired Cyclops eye-smiled at them.

"Yep!"

"And you think we're ready?" the blond asked disbelievingly.

"Yep!"

"Is this a joke?" the blond demanded.

"Nope!" Kakashi wiggled his fingers at them. "Show up at the Academy by the deadline, or you'll have to wait for half a year! Bye~!" And, with a swirl of leaves, he was gone, leaving Team Seven behind.

"Hn," was Sasuke's opinion.

"Che," Naruto replied, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up, hands going behind his head.

"…" Sakura stared at the form in her hand uncertainly.

"You in, Uchiha?" Naruto asked, squinting his eyes shut as he peered towards the sunset.

"Hn," Sasuke replied in an agreeing tone, folding the form and slipping it into his pocket. "You, Dobe?"

"'Course," Naruto replied with a snort, blowing a smoke ring and glancing at Sakura from the corner of his eye. "You, Sakura?" She looked up, startled, and hesitated under the two's looks.

"I… Um…" She bit her lip uncertainly, and Naruto blew another smoke ring.

"If you want to wait a little while, I don't mind," Naruto informed her simply. "I only suggest that, if you decide to go through with us, you study up on Genjutsu of Iryojutsu. You've got the Chakra Control for it. And, let's face it, we're going to need every trick we can get, if we're going through with this…" Sakura hesitated, before determination lit her green eyes and she nodded firmly, folding the form and putting it into her pocket.

"Right," she agreed, before the three went their separate ways. Naruto finished his cigarette, hands still behind his head as he walked, and frowning thoughtfully, before a sudden, foxy grin overcame his face, cigarette butt falling to the ground for his foot to crush.

I wander was secrets I can ferret out?

Whistling easily, Naruto slipped into the crowd, and disappeared from view.

A/N: Ta-da! Reviews are most definitely welcome! And please don't forget to check my Profile for some Important information/an Important request.

Thank you!