AN: This is my first Destiel fanfiction and the first time i've wrote anything in a while so creative criticism is appreciated.
I'm not really sure how long this fic is going to be or when the next update will be,this chapter took me quite a while to write because i kept getting discouraged so i don't mean to sound desperate but honestly positive feedback will probably mean faster updates.

So that's about it and i hope you like it!

Dean's eyes flickered open, the harsh lighting in the room was almost blinding for a moment .As my his eyes adjusted to the light he could see more of his surroundings, bleak white walls and countless pieces of machinery came in to view.

Well, this is weird.

Before he could make any more observations, a door opened and there was the sound of heavy footsteps, A man appeared and was standing next to Dean's bedside, A warm smile plastered on his face.

"Ahh Mr Winchester, so nice to finally see you awake" The man's smile didn't falter as he spoke.

Dean's eyes flashed around the room at the man's words, Mr Winchester? Who the hell was that? There was no one else in the room but him but his name wasn't Mr Winchester it was….wait….what the hell was his name?

"Umm Mr Winchester? "Dean asked, his voice laced with panic.

"Uhm yes, that is your name isn't it" Chuckled the still nameless man at Deans side.

"Uhh…I don't know" He replied honestly, voice faltering. If there was ever a time for honesty this seemed like it.

At this the man's bright smile finally faltered, a look of concern befalling his face instead.

"Mr Winchester, what's the last thing you remember before waking up here?"

Dean thought about the question, he reached in to the depths of his memory and he found…nothing. No, this couldn't be right, there had to be somethingfor god's sake. He kept thinking, desperately trying to draw something out of nothing and coming up blank every time. He was really panicking now, it wasn't like he was born yesterday, he must have done somethingin his life, he must have eaten meals and watched movies and just lived god fucking damn it. But his incessant searching produced nothing, not even something as simple as what he'd last ate for breakfast.

"Nothing" He choked out "I...There's…there's nothing" He finishes, his voice was quiet and resigned as he stared unseeingly down at his bed sheets

"I see" The other man rested his hand on Dean's shoulder reassuringly and Dean's eyes rose to meet his face again, the smile was back but this time it was subtler, more genuine. "Mr Winchester, My name is Doctor Walker and of course we're going to have to run some tests but I'm sorry to say it seems possible you may have amnesia."

His head was really swimming now

Various scans and tests and doctors and nurses later Dean was pacing the length of his hospital room waiting for the results, deep down he already knew the answer, no matter how hard he tried he couldn't remember a thing but he was still hoping for some good news, what good news exactly he didn't quite know, that this was only temporary? That some things would come back? He just needed to know something good, heck he needed to know who he was for god's sake.

Dean heard the door click behind him as Doctor Walker re-entered the room, he immediately spun around to face the man who knew his fate.

"Well?" It wasn't exactly polite but he couldn't stand not knowing anymore.

"Dean, please sit down" He was far too nervous to sit down but he obeyed anyway.

"Dean, I'm very sorry to tell you that the tests did show that you have a very bad case of Amnesia"

"But…it's temporary right?"

The Doctors face went very grave "No,I'm sorry but as far as we can tell it's permanent"

Well…fuck…how do you react to that?

Sam fidgeted restlessly on the hard plastic hospital chair. He'd brought in Dean's unconscious body four hours ago and was still waiting for answers.

"Excuse me,are you Mr. Winchester?"

Sam spun his head around to the nurse and practically jumped out of his chair.

"Um yes,yes I am,uh hello" he smoothed out his coat and offered the nurse his hand,trying to disguise his earlier surprise.

"Hello" the nurse took his hand "you brought your brother in earlier today yes?"

"yeah,so uh…is he okay?"

"He got off lightly considering how injured he was when you first brought him in"

Sam exhaled a breath he didn't know he's been holding

"but I'm afraid he has amnesia"

"Amnesia?" Sam was very nearly in shock, Dean had gotten hurt in hunts before, but normally it was just a broken bone or two, nothing like this.

"But…he'll get better right?

"I'm afraid there's just no way of telling right now sir" she said "but wether he ever recovers his memory or not,with help from family and friends he should be able to live a normal life" The nurse answered before leaving to attend to a patient.

Pffft normal. Yeah right, like their lives were ever normal.

Then he got an idea…

"I pray upon the angel Castiel to come down here?" He tried

"Sam ,you called?"

Sam very nearly jumped out of his skin, damn Cas knew how to sneak up on people

"Uh hey Cas, so we were hunting this vampire down in this old house by the woods,it threw Dean against the wall and he got hurt pretty bad, they're saying he has amnesia"

"Yes, I know" Sam thought he saw a brief glimpse of sadness in the angels eyes before his face became emotionless once more " He sent a prayer to me before he fell unconscious,to be honest I arrived here not long after you did,I was waiting until the doctors were finished to show myself"

"right,well I have a favour to ask you"

"of course,I presume you want me to return Dean's memories?"

"Well…not exactly"

Castiel looked at him, clearly confused "Then what is it you're asking of me?"

"Well" Sam glanced at the floor, trying to find the right words "This was a close call, a close call in a line of close calls. This job, it's dangerous. I mean, we've both died for god's sake, multiple times. And I'm just thinking, with Dean losing his memories…this is a chance to stop all this. For both of us to get away from the pain and heart ache this job causes. A chance for a normal life" Sam stared at Castiel, his features preaching for Cas to understand where he was coming from.

It didn't seem to work "You want to…lie to him?"

"Cas, I want to help him, lifes been so hard on him, Dad, Raising me, The apocalypse. He's my brother, he's done everything for me and I just want him to be happy. But if he remembers our lives I know he'll go straight back to hunting, straight back to doing things for me instead of himself. He doesn't feel as if he has any other choice, this is his only chance at true happiness Cas, please…try to understand"

Castiel was facing the floor,his eyes shut "I understand." He glanced back up at Sam "So…what is it exactly you're asking of me then?"

"Well…" shit,now this was the hard part "You're not exactly…human Cas" He started "I know you care about us, Dean especially, but…if we're gonna start this new life, free of monsters and hunting…you can't stick around." Sam didn't dare look up at the angels face "I'm sorry…I really am, but it's just too risky" Sam peeked up at the angels face, well that was a mistake. Cas looked absolutely crestfallen, like he'd just found out someone he loved had died. Well,in a way I guess they have, mused Sam. Wow, now he really felt guilty. Cas didn't reply to him, he was barely even looking at him.

"Cas?" he tried, almost wincing as he said the words.

The angel looked up at him, the broken look magically vanishing off his face. Sam would have almost thought he imagined it if the look wasn't still lingering in his friends eyes.

"Of course Sam,I uh,understand"

Sam just nodded. He didn't trust himself to speak, he thought he might take it all back if he did. But this was for Dean, the brother who had done everything for him. He couldn't let him go back to the life he knew.

"Well" Cas broke the silence "I guess this is goodbye Sam"

"Uh yeah,I guess it is" This wasn't as easy as he expected "If it means anything,I'll miss you Buddy"

"You too Sam" He replied with a sad smile "And Dean too of course"

And Just like that he was gone.
Well, time for a new life.