Sontarans Will Be Sontarans

Wearily, Vastra moved out of her hiding place. She cracked her neck and stretched her sore limbs. Reconnaissance became tedious quickly, especially alone. It was, unfortunately, far more effective without a partner, especially if the companion was a sensually attractive young maid. Jenny was becoming quite the distraction. Besides, there was no point in both of them suffering.

After twelve hours, she had garnered enough dirt on Mr Wellington in order to proceed to the next component of their investigation. It was time to go home, and she was very much looking forward to being in her wife's warm embraced.

Her carriage was a few blocks away from her home when she heard the explosion. Smoke filled the air, covering the usual putrid smell of London's streets. There was an undertone to the air though, an odd smell that lingered just behind the cover of the smoke. A smell that shouldn't be here. Not in this time. Sontaran explosives.

Cursing she urged Parker to hurry the horses along, desperate to return home.

Or what was left of it. 13 Paternoster Lane was in ruins. The place that she had called her home with Jenny lay desolated at her feet. It was naught but a pile of rubble.
Not that Vastra cared. Her primary concern was not of some building that could be replaced. "Jenny!" She yelled, clambering her way onto the ruins, desperately searching for some sign of life. "Jenny, please, where are you?"

A groan to her left cut through her panic. "Vastra?" Jenny's voice never sounded sweeter.

Some rubble shifted and Jenny managed to sit up. She rubbed her head and screwed her eyes shut.

Vastra was at her side in a flash. She gently helped Jenny clear away the rest of the rubble that encased her, before drawing her into a warm embrace.

They parted, but Vastra's hand lingered on Jenny's arm, her thumb gently stroking her cheek. Jenny's hand rested on Vastra's elbow, reassuring her that Jenny was real.

"Jenny, dear, are you alright?"

Jenny coughed. "Fine, Ma'am." But Strax won't be once I get my blooming hand on him. Whatcha think mashed Sontaran tastes like?"

"Probably rather tough and bitter. I am quite certain that it is, in fact, toxic to humans."

Jenny growled. "Well, I'm gonna kill him anyways."

"You can do that after you have explained just what transpired."

As if on cue, Strax sat up to their right, clumps of rubble falling off his head as he did so. "I am happy to report that I have successfully vanquished the enemy scum, Ma'am."

"And what enemy was that?" Vastra asked.

"I am unaware of its name, ma'am, but rest assured it is no longer a threat to you or the boy."

"It was only a spider, Strax! You threw a grenade at a harmless little critter!" Jenny glared at him.

"Quiet, boy! It was a necessary military endeavour, beyond what your puny human mind could possibly comprehend."

"You went and blew the whole house up!" Jenny retorted. "You nearly took us with it. Some strategy."

"In the art of war, sacrifices have to be made in order to find victory. The enemy has been obliterated. It was clearly a successful plan of attack, worthy of the Sontaran Empire."

Vastra closed her eyes and counted to ten, a habit she had developed in order to cope with dealing with Strax's rather infuriating version of logic. As she did so, she felt something crawling up her leg. Sure enough, when she looked down she saw a small spider. Sighing, she placed her hand next to it and waited patiently for it to crawl onto it. Sure enough, it took the bait, and Vastra lifted her hand up for Strax to see. "Is this, pray tell, the creature of which you speak?"

"Ah!" Strax said gleefully. "It has proven to be a worthy opponent after all. Hold still, ma'am, I have another grenade handy."

"No!" Jenny and Vastra yelled in unison.

"I'm gonna kill him, ma'am." Jenny growled.

"You shall do no such thing." Vastra rebuked.

"And why not?"

"Because I am going to."