A/N: Did you want some Caitlyn x Vi? Too bad. Have something different. Also, huge warning, this is first person Vi so the language is super, super vulgar. This chapter is rated M for sure.

Vi Stands for Vice

I remember the one time I got completely smashed after I met Caitlyn. Well, sort of, it's more like I remember the drinking, then getting yelled at about it. Now don't get me wrong, I love getting shit-faced as much as the next girl– I'd say it used to be one of my favorite pastimes. I guess it ain't really fun on its own, but it makes everything else a hell of a lot better.

Anyway, I was already on thin ice at the time; I was still fresh on the force and just starting my no nonsense face breaking. Not only did I have to keep in line, but at the time I had not yet begun to 'hit that.' But Caitlyn insisted that I go out with my fellow officers to a silly as shit get to know you dinner.

And of course one of the deputies forced me to go to a bar with her afterwards. I don't share this with most people, but sometimes Vi stands for vixen.

Now, there are a few spots here and there that are still gone. I remember lots of drinks, a soft pair of lips, and thinking it would be fun to do it on Caitlyn's desk. Honestly it had been on my mind for awhile. I'd only been working a week and on several occasions had been pulled into her office for breaking the dumbest little regulations and codes. Every time she would ream me out, I couldn't help but imagine throwing all her shit on the floor, tossing her on the desk, and– well– returning the favor. She was a bitch, but she was a gorgeous bitch.

It probably would have been fine if Caitlyn hadn't come to the office so damn early. Who gets to work at five in the morning? I mean, seriously? You have no idea how fucking annoying it was to share a bed and an alarm clock with the damn woman. After getting dressed faster than I ever have in my life and the rude dismissal of my partner in crime, the Sheriff just sat down and stared at me.

Her eyes bored through me with an unbelievable heat. "Officer Vi. I would like to know exactly what was going through your mind. Not to be conceited, but I'm quite talented at deductions and I can't figure it out."

My brain was screaming at me to run, but I knew I couldn't. I had to sit there and take it because she was my boss. I remember being very angry at being interrupted and interrogated. "Can I blame the alcohol?" I asked, lifting a finger into the air in the usual over animated way I move when I'm completely trashed. When I noticed my finger was– it's a little fancy but I think the best word to use is glistening– I wiped it on my seat.

The Sheriff cleared her throat and I jumped a little. "So, I told you to get better acquainted with your coworkers, and you end up doing– this." She gestured over the ass-shaped clearing where her office supplies had been pushed aside.

I shrunk down a little– it was something I wasn't really used to doing. On the streets, authority went to the people with the biggest fists or the biggest guns, which was usually me. There was something unsettling about being able to get in trouble. I got used to it eventually, but being accountable to a boss sucks– but in hindsight, I did deserve it in this case. I was a real asshole. "Sorry?"

Now I don't remember the bulk of her rant. I don't remember the exact words to any of her rants. I ended up in this exact position so many damn times that they all honestly blend together in a big jumble of me getting scolded like a damn child.

She just ended up looking defeated as she finally calmed down, and I couldn't have felt worse. In all honesty, I was already crushing hard. The other women on the force were knockouts– you have to be in shape to police the mean streets of Piltover– but I've always had a soft spot in my heart for my little cupcake.

Personally, I think love at first sight is bullshit, but I don't know how to explain why I wanted her so badly. But she believes in it and told me that she was in love with me the whole damn time. Deputy Meyers was the only woman I slept with after I met Caitlyn, and I'm going to only count it as half because I didn't finish.

She gave me a soft look. "I don't want to micromanage you Vi, I have to. I can't choose who you–," she took a deep gulp, "sleep with, but you shouldn't drink if this is how you get. I should fire you for having the gall to do it in my office. I'm already sticking my neck out for you, and this is how you repay me?"

"I'm so sorry." I don't think she'll ever know how much it means when I actually say that, because I don't fucking apologize for anything. I rubbed my hand over the bridge of my nose. I was so damn drunk I couldn't feel my skin. Which was why what I said next seemed like a good idea. If you didn't already know this, I'm forward as hell with everything I do. "I was imagining she was you."

Yes, she's told me she's loved me since we met and I of course was never shy about how I felt, but it took her forever to actually agree to go out with me.

Caitlyn crossed her legs under her desk and just glared at me. Even at my best, I was never the good girl she wanted me to be. I was always too frank, too wild. I broke too many rules and made too many mistakes for miss perfection. I felt so bad I didn't have another drop the whole time we were dating. I've always had to change who I was and I've yet to see her take the damn stick out of her ass.

First thought of the day– I hate the fucking sun. Yeah I said it, fuck you Leona. I did my best to cover my eyes as a the equivalent of a supernova assaulted them as I woke up. I felt like shit. My stomach was flopping like a damn fish and telling me to stop moving, but my bladder was all like 'fuck your stomach, run to the bathroom before I make you piss all over your sheets.'

My bladder made the more convincing argument and I rushed across the room. My feet slapped against the concrete, which probably shouldn't have sounded like a stampeding elephant.

As I felt the sweet relief, my stomach got revenge on me for ignoring it and I threw up on into my damn bathtub, which I'd have to clean later. As I pressed my face into the cool porcelain, I could feel every throb in my skin. I promised myself I'd never drink again. Of course I broke that promise when I walked into my kitchen to fill my now empty stomach. Caitlyn promised that she'd stay with me forever. Fuck promises.

The cool concrete of my floor felt so good on my feet that once I'd grabbed my breakfast– a big bottle of whiskey– I slid down and just sat on it. I used to have carpet. I guess I'll try to explain it. Summoners build our rooms out of our mental picture of home, which is usually pretty ideal. It sucks but I guess when your whole god damn world falls apart your home does too. So, instead of my normal room with its lovely, soft pink carpet and gorgeous walls and cool decorations, I was in a god damn concrete box with only a bed and a god damn window that I apparently couldn't get rid of.

I'd say I was about halfway through my bottle when there was a knock at my door– correction, there was a wrecking ball hitting my door. I shook off the throbbing in my ears and went to open it.

"Mornin' Vi," Miss Fortune said as she strutted pass me into the room. She nabbed the bottle from my hand and took a deep swig of it. "Or good afternoon. It smells like a thousand dirty bums threw up in here."

"Nah, it was only the one," I answered, pointing a thumb at myself and beaming with pride.

Sarah just stared at me for a moment. "Come on, we're getting you out of this shit hole."

"Give me my drink back."

When I reached for it, she threw it back and pushed me away with a stiff arm. Guess I get a little weak when I'm half a bottle down. My liquid gold vanished down her throat, and I grunted at the popping noise as she pulled it from her lips.

"There's a concert down in town," Miss Fortune informed me before releasing a sizable belch. I've never seen her do it in public, but she could be grosser than Gragas sometimes.

"So fucking what?"

"Pentakill is finishing up their tour."

I do love Pentakill, though it has always felt a little weird since they are all my colleagues. "I don't know."

She stuck a finger in the air. "Listen Vi, right now drinking isn't the answer. It usually is the answer, but not right now. You're depressed and you're lonely, and booze isn't going to fix that. But you know what will? Getting laid."

I couldn't help but chuckle. If I hadn't considered Caitlyn my best friend, it would have been Sarah; arguably the only other girl besides me who was any fun in the League. Well, Caitlyn was out of the picture, so I just nodded at my new best friend. "You might be right."

"I am right. All you've gotten the last few years was from that boring old bitch."

"Watch it–,"

"Why? Screw that bitch," Sarah poked me hard in the chest. "She makes you miserable half the time, so fuck her. We'll go down to that concert, find you someone fun and twice as sexy, and then shove it in her face."

"Yeah, yeah you're right!" I could feel my blood starting to pump as she got me riled up. "Screw her. I'm gonna find a hottie, then fuck her on Caitlyn's doorstep."

Sarah released her quiet, smooth laugh. "That might be a little too much, but you're in the right direction."

"Let's go!" I started marching out the door, but she blocked me with her arm.

"The concert's not til later. Now what else have you got to drink?"

I was in awe. I honestly couldn't believe what I was seeing. Now, I'd listened to a few hexrecords of Pentakill playing, and I did like them. But in person all that sound being magically amplified was just sick. Glowing lights flashed all around me and I was so close I could feel the heat of the pyrotechnics. I didn't really notice but I'm pretty sure Sarah was tugging on my arm.

"Come on, let's go grab some drinks, you're not gonna meet anyone in the middle of the floor."

The concert was standing room only, but a bunch of civilians weren't going to keep me from the front. Try as she might Sarah couldn't get me to budge either. I just sat there staring. I don't think I've ever said this word before, but I was entranced.

I'd seen Sona around the League. In fact, for my first month here she'd always wave and smile when she saw me. I wasn't sure if she was just friendly because our city states were allies or if that was the mute girl's way of trying to get my attention, but I had Caitlyn. I'd always thought that the musician was pretty, though.

But there she was up on stage, a sheet of straight red hair hanging loose, face plastered in some dark gothic makeup, and her body etched with magical temporary tattoos. God was she sexy. I think she literally hit every single one of my buttons. It was kind of odd how much I had loved Caitlyn even though she was so different than what I thought I wanted.

Suddenly, her eyes caught mine– at least I like to think so. She gave me a dark smirk, then began to wail harder on her modified etwahl– I say modified because the thing was covered in some gorgeous steel. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the sway of her hips, her tiny waist, and her glorious jiggle.

Okay, this next part is embarrassing as shit, but pretty funny, so I guess I'll share it. I'll just remind you I was very, very drunk, so it seemed like a really good idea at the time. I happened to be wearing a skirt– I know, I know, I don't seem the type, but I actually do like them and I wanted to show off my legs. When she finished her riff and paused to catch her breath between songs, I bent down and started to take off my panties.

"Holy shit, what are you doing!?" Sarah shouted into my ear.

I didn't answer, I just put my fingers in the elastic and shot them onstage like a rubber band.

It was at that moment, as they were leaving my hands, that I realized how fucking stupid it was. First of all, the skirt was short, so I'd be commando for the rest of the show and probably giving my own show for the rest of the night, which was never a good thing. Second, Sona wasn't the only person on the stage, and they were all moving around. It would have been fucking mortifying if it had hit anyone else. I don't even want to know what the fuck is under Mordekaiser's helmet, let alone what he has under the hood.

But fortunately for me, it hooked onto one of the spikes on her instrument. The crowd went nuts and she glanced down at them, then right at me. Then she licked her lips. It was so on.

"She's from Demacia. I bet she's not even gay, she was probably just putting on a show."

"Nah girl, she's into me," I responded. "Go back in, I'm waiting for her."

Sarah laughed– that annoying laugh she always does when she thinks I'm being an idiot– then walked into the Institute. I just stayed leaning against the wall, right past the barrier that kept the civvies out. It was doing its job tonight; all of the Pentakill fans were packed right up against it. Eventually the band members began to trickle through. No one was stupid enough to try to stop most of them, but I noticed that Sona was struggling to wade through her adoring fans.

I just barreled out, grabbed her right out of the crowd, then broke my way through with her in hand. Again, super drunk and my brain was turned off. But when I put her down on the other side of the barrier, she gave me a grateful smile.

I just stood there smiling like an idiot for a moment, before I nodded. "You're welcome. Want to come to my room?"

Of course, all she could do was a silent nod. Not really sure why, but I really wanted to hold her hand. She kept both of them clasped tight in front of her body as she followed me. Which sucked.

I opened the door and she took a step inside. Oh, the look on her face! I had spent a lot of time in that room, and there's some kinda thing I had read about where your senses get desensitized. So if you hadn't spent a week in the room, like me, the smell must have been revolting.

Her nose crinkled and she immediately withdrew, shaking her head. I couldn't help but laugh. "I'm sorry. It's been a rough week."

Sona looked me up and down, then her expression softened. It looked a little odd with the makeup she was wearing, but there was no hiding that she was a truly sweet girl. She took my hand and led me across the institute.

When we got to her room, I was super smooth. Vi can stand for vixen, remember? Yeah, I totally sweet talked her and she was all over me. I'm cool as a cucumber Vi, and I get all the chicks no sweat.

Okay, I'll be honest, maybe I wasn't so smooth. Maybe I wasn't a vixen. I ended up breaking down a little and she had to help me. I got all hot and bothered– and we totally got sweaty.

I was perfectly fine when we walked in. I do have all the moves; I can sweet talk a girl. I was so fucking ready to do it too. Alcohol and adrenaline were pumping through my veins and I was going to land the girl.

In my drunken stupor, I almost didn't see it just sitting on the middle of the girl's table. She walked out, smiling as she passed the threshold into her bedroom and held a hand up to keep me from following.

I turned back to the present. It was nestled in a big pile of gifts that Sona probably got for finishing her tour. Must be good to be a star. I know you're getting sick of hearing it, but I was super drunk. It was an incredible invasion of her privacy, and I'm so glad Sona didn't hate me for doing it. But the present had purple wrapping paper and a golden bow shaped like a top hat. It reminded me of my Cupcake and I just had to do it.

I should probably hate that gift. At that moment, I hated it. I was so furious at that bitch for leaving me. But actually I don't hate it. I'm happy that it was there.

The first thing I did was check the card.

'Congratulations on a great tour!' -Caitlyn

Well, it was definitely from her. I couldn't help but take a little peek inside. I lifted the lid a little bit, but it was too dark for me to see. I just tossed the lid right off and found myself staring at a two layer display of cupcakes.

Okay, I don't cry. I totally didn't cry. But I did sit at the table and pull out all of the cupcakes. I stared at them and felt myself shake. I didn't even notice that Sona came in until I felt the gentle touch against my shoulder.

I sat up and found a pair of beautiful, understanding eyes gazing into mine. Once again, I was entranced. I know she can use her music to do it magically, but this wasn't any sort of magic. Well, in a way it was, but not the kind that involved using spells.

"She left me," I said. I don't know what it is, but whenever I look into Sona's eyes I just can't help but be honest– and I'm never honest. I hide so much shit from everyone, but not her. "She left me, and I'm drinking and self-destructing and she's still baking cupcakes. She's just fine without me."

Sona tenderly wiped away my tears. Not tears, I don't cry, only joking. Pretend you didn't hear that.

After a few moments, she smirked. Her overly elegant fingers reached and delicately held a cupcake. She brought it between the two of us. It was perfectly frosted as always. I loved those damn things, but at that moment I hated that delicious little treat.

Which was why I smiled when Sona's smirk suddenly turned sinister and she whipped it right onto the ground. When she stomped a foot into it and dug it into her floor, I laughed. She smiled and just gave me a little tilt of the head.

I don't know what it was, but I just knew what she meant. I still kinda know what she means even without words. In the end, words are just fucking annoying. Sona has to be to the point, and I love that.

I grabbed a cupcake and crushed it in my hands with a smile, then slammed it onto the ground. She took the next and whipped it against the wall. I grabbed another and smashed it against my forehead, making her laugh with her eyes when I roared.

I figured she'd do the same thing, but instead she squished the next cupcake against my face. I'm really stressing this, the booze was flowing through my system, so I smashed one into her cleavage. Luckily, she didn't mind.

She also didn't mind when I tried to eat it.

Yeah, I'm good. That was what I'd call a fun night, and Sarah was right– it really cheered me up.

A/N 2.0: I hope you enjoyed my first attempt at full first person! Let me know what you think of Vi. This is one of the options that might get expanded on when one of my other stories gets finished.