This is my first real venture into the Avengers fandom. Enjoy!

Warnings: suicide, mentions of cancer (you never know!)

Disclaimer: I literally own nothing but this computer. And technically, that's my dad's since he paid for it.

Chapter 1- Last Words and Memories

Tony Stark was dying. Radiation poisoning from the nuclear bomb killed him slowly as he sequestered himself in his workshop, allowing no one in. On the morning of his seventh day in the workshop, JARVIS' voice finally summoned the all of the genius' friends (which amounted to the Avengers, Pepper, Rhodey, and surprisingly, Fury) to the lab, bright and early at eleven o'clock in the morning. The AI warned them that they would not like what they found when they entered. They all went in anyway.

The lab itself seemed normal. Scraps of metal and tools lay scattered on tables, and holographic screens glowed blue. At first, everyone believed that JARVIS was overreacting. Then Pepper stopped dead in her tracks and whimpered, "Oh my God," with her hands flying over her mouth. She crumpled slowly, as first Rhodey, then the rest of the group, turned to see what had horrified her.

Tony Stark lay calmly on his back on the ratty couch. His eyes were closed, and his face relaxed. He could have been sleeping, except for the stillness of his chest, the paleness of his face, and the emptiness in his chest where the arc reactor should have sat. The little device itself was nowhere to be found. A tablet still lay on his chest.

Clint muttered under his breath, "What the actual fuck, Stark?"

Bruce stood silent, breathing deeply, trying as hard as he could not to let the Other Guy out, not to let the Other Guy feel his grief and his anger.

Natasha was also silent, but she had no expression on her face. She just stared, her eyes swimming with emotions that nobody could identify.

Thor stepped forward, as if to try and shake the genius awake, but Steve held him back, shaking his head.

Fury stood impassively, but he watched the reaction around him carefully. He didn't want to have to put down the Hulk or stop someone from snapping in shock.

Rhodey was in shock. He hadn't even known that Tony was sick! Now, he looked at him, bald and missing his beard, skin stretched tight over a gaunt face. He almost accused them of a hoax – but who could fake the arc reactor's empty casing?

The team stepped forward as one, while Pepper and Rhodey stood behind them, Rhodey supporting Pepper. Fury stood behind them all, observing, as he always did. Steve picked up the tablet in shaking hands, and an image projected itself off of the surface. Tony, mostly bald and missing his moustache-goatee-beard, looked back at them, somber but still somehow smirking through the pain that he had to be feeling. The hologram spoke in Tony's voice.

"Well, if you're reading this, you found my body. Damn, that sounds morbid. But it's true. I'm dead, and you're reading the note that I deigned to leave behind. I could've not bothered, and you'd be left with a hell of a lot of questions. But I was nice. Thank me when you find me.

"You don't know what I mean? There's at least three people who know me really well nearby, and at least one of them is a genius (but not as smart as me, right, Brucie?). You'll figure it out. Eventually. And I'll be laughing at your hopeless efforts until you do.

"ANYWAY! Back to the actual point of this thing. I was dying painfully and really damn slowly. Not my style. I always knew I was going to go out with a bang: here it is. BANG! Sorry for not telling you how much moving, breathing, hell, even, LIVING hurt. This way was much easier. If you look closely, you'll see that I was drunker than a skunk, and had more than a few painkillers in my system. I didn't feel a thing. So don't start sobbing about how I died in pain. That's to you, Pepper. I didn't, trust me. I know just how much to drink…and take….to keep me numb. Which is kinda depressing if you think about it like that. Hell, I could've done this years ago. Pepper, Rhodey, thanks for stopping me. I had to save the world after all!

Now, to the individual goodbyes. I really don't care if you pause this thing and do this one at a time, or listen to it altogether, or whatever. Just listen to them, dammit!

To our beloved Capsicle. You know, you're even better than my dad said. And that's huge, 'cause he fucking loved you. You were an awesome leader. Keep 'em all in line now that I can't watch your backs.

To Barton. Never did really get to know you, but you seemed cool. Great aim, good sense of humor. Keep the sarcasm alive, my feathery friend.

To my dear Agent Romanoff. You were just fucking scary. Never did trust you as well as I should. Loosen up a bit, yeah? We're…You're a team now.

To Point Break, who's probably wondering what the hell this is. I still hold fast to what I said: you've got a mean swing, bucko. Your brother's a fun guy, too uptight for my tastes. Try to fix him for me, will you? He seemed more broken than I've ever been.

To Brucie, Science Bro extraordinaire. I really am sorry, man. You probably understand the whys better than anyone else in here. Don't run because I'm gone. Stay. They'll need the big guy's smashing, I know they will. Don't be in India when the bad guys attack, yeah?

To motherfucker, or Fury, as you call him. I know he's here. Fuck off. JARVIS will still be operational, and I might even have updated him and his capabilities just for my buddies. BUT that doesn't mean that you, Fearless Leader, can try to hack him or mess with him or something. He's still MINE, and no one touches MY stuff.

To platypus, if he's here. If not, relay this message. Dude, I'm sorry I never told you I was sick…ah, dying. You didn't need to mother me too. I have those five for that. Bring in War Machine every so often, yeah? JARVIS will do upgrades on the software wand whatnot. Don't you DARE go to Hammer or anyone else for weapons EVER AGAIN, do you hear me?

To Pepper. If you're here, I'm sorry for literally everything. My behavior in the past, my fuckups, my stupidity, my stubbornness, my ability to piss off evil geniuses, everything. And I really really really apologize for breaking it off just a week ago. I couldn't let you try and get me out of here. I needed this time. I tried so hard for you, to live and stay healthy, but I'm pretty much going through a reactor a day to stay alive. I'm sorry for being stupid, I am, but if it happened again, I would do the same thing. New York didn't deserve to be nuked because four assholes decided with no evidence that it was lost.

Which reminds me. Fury, use JARVIS to find the file WSCdirt1-4 and use that info to bring those fuckers down. Be your own organization. Don't let the WSC rule the Avengers.

And Pepper. I love you so, so much. I really never knew it until I was dying, you know? And now, I'm dead. Sorry.

To everyone present, whoever that may be. Remember, seek and ye shall find. Sometimes, the shit that you're seeking just so happens to be right above you. Just sayin'.

This was the final words of Anthony Edward Stark, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, and the ONLY pilot of the Iron Man suit. Bye now.

The screen went dark. The hologram flickered out. Pepper choked back a sob and curled tighter into Rhodey's supporting arms.

Nobody moved for a long time. Tears only tracked down a few faces, but no one remained unmoved in the face of the genius' death.

Finally, Natasha shook herself to awareness. They needed to…they needed to clean up. Thank God Tony had done this cleanly (something in her winced at her clinical approach, but it was buried so deep that even she didn't notice). There was no blood, no biohazards to clean up. Just a body. "Does anyone have a phone?" she asked, her sudden voice shocking everyone but Fury from their trances. "We need to tell the hospital."

Pepper finally broke down. Her sobs wracked her body, and her face turned blotchy and red. No one really knew quite what to say, until Bruce stepped forward. "Pepper," he stated, "You need to hold together. Tony wouldn't want you to do this. He'd want to see the strong woman that you are. Come on, come on. I know it hurts…I know how much it hurts." A stormy look passed over his face. "But I promise, he would want you to be strong right now. We'll be here for you. You're not alone." Pepper calmed slowly, hiccupping just slightly. The others in the room – except Fury – stared in awe at his ability to take the situation and just…defuse it.

Then Rhodey snapped. No one saw it coming. "Well, why the hell shouldn't she cry, dammit?! Tony's fucking dead! She was his girlfriend! And here you are, Banner, with his dead fucking body right in front of you, telling her that she can't cry?! What the fu—" Fury stepped forward and grabbed his arm, which had been gesticulating wildly.

"Colonel," the Director stated, "You need to remove yourself from this room."

Rhodey almost protested, but a head motion from Fury and he noticed the shattered look on Pepper's face, and the green tinge to Bruce's eyes. He gulped, "Yessir." He walked out, back stiff, his hand going up to wipe at moist eyes.

Natasha asked again, "Does anyone have a phone?"

Steve dug in his pocket to find his new phone. He'd only received it two weeks ago. Tony had given it to him, claiming that "Those SHEILD phones are years behind the curve, Capsicle. This one'll keep you up-to-date." The super-soldier still had no clue how to make a call on the damn thing. It hit him then. He'd never learn. Tony couldn't teach him anymore. He held the phone out with numb fingers.

As she called the hospital, Clint just stared numbly at Tony's body. The genius had been right. He'd never really known the guy. But he'd been funny. Like, really funny. They seemed to operate on the same wavelength some days. He'd be trying to prank Steve and he'd find Tony rigging up some device that would do the same thing only…without human intervention. Clint muttered to the man (body) in front of him, "Looks like it's just me now, partner. Hope there's good booze up there. You deserve it, after the pile of shit that you called your life."

Seeing that Natasha had things handled in the lab, Fury turned and walked after the colonel, deciding that he could do the most with him. He'd seen the same look on other men underneath him: shock and grief, all swirling inside with a force strong enough to break a normal man. He'd long since learned to keep his feelings hidden until he was alone. Maybe later, in his office, he'd pull out that bottle of vintage scotch that the billionaire had given him. He needed a goddamn drink.

Thor was the only one who had not moved an inch or made a sound, which was so out-of-character that Steve turned to him, mind still numb, and asked, "You okay, Thor? You can…you can talk."

Thor chose that time to storm from the room. Everyone left stared after him. They heard a rumble of thunder from outside – a loud one, if they heard it through the walls – and knew that the god was gone. It would surprise no one if, later, they saw a report on the news that a freak thunderstorm had hit a rural area. A personality like Thor's, strong and yet vulnerable all at once, tended to only take so much before he had to let off steam. And the god did so by calling huge storms to him and letting them wreak havoc. They just hoped that no one would get hurt.

Bruce stood from where he had been comforting Pepper. "Well?" he asked Natasha, "What do we do with…with him?"

Natasha sighed, weighed down with so much grief, from so many years. "They'll be at the door in…a two minutes. JARVIS will lead them down. They know not to bring anything. They know…they know…" she trailed off uncharacteristically. Bruce just nodded and placed his hand once on her shoulder.

He turned to the others. "Come on guys," he said, "Let's give them space." Then he turned back to Natasha. "If you need to…be alone, go ahead. We won't judge." The spy nodded once, her eyes stony but surprisingly bright and made her way out of the door. Bruce turned to Clint, who hadn't moved but to watch the redhead's departure. "You know, Clint…you can follow her," he stated softly.

Clint snorted. "Never would've guessed that you would've been the one to hold us together, doc."

Bruce grimaced. "I've always found that knowing the little mannerisms of everyone around me helps keep me calm. Natasha always wants to be alone. You always show up to keep her company."

Clint nodded, smiled once, genuinely, and left. Bruce helped Pepper up, supporting her, and got Steve's attention. "Come on, Steve. You guys shouldn't…you guys shouldn't be here when the paramedics arrive."

Steve caught the little hint and asked, "What about you, Doctor Banner?"

Bruce snorted once. "Call me Bruce, please, Steve. Someone's got to tell them what we know. Who better than me?"

Steve looked at him for a long time, then took Pepper from Bruce's hold and guided her to the elevator. Before the doors closed, he caught Bruce's eyes one more time. The sheer weight in his eyes, the pure grief, almost made him stop the elevator and go to get him. But the super soldier didn't. He knew that Bruce was right.

Bruce sighed and turned to Tony's prone body, still and pale in the sleep of death. He muttered, "You're right, Tony. I know why, I know just why. But…" he trailed off as a group of paramedics walked in slowly, bearing a gurney and a sheet.

The last Bruce saw of Tony's body was his face, bare of any hair, being covered by the white sheet as the gurney went into the elevator.

xXx

The funeral was a small affair. No press, no businessmen who offered false condolences. Just Bruce, Steve, Natasha, Clint, Thor, Fury, Agent Hill (who had shown up at the very last minute), Rhodey, Pepper, and a few other SHIELD agents who had more contact than usual with the billionaire. They all wore uniforms – Agent Hill, Fury, Clint, Rhodey, and the SHIELD agents – or a dress – Natasha and Pepper – or a suit – Steve, Thor, and Bruce. The silence should have been suffocating, but it was strangely comforting.

Five minutes after the service started, while the preacher's voice droned on, Clint just snapped, "Listen, pastor. We understand that this is traditional and shit, but please. He wouldn't have wanted this." The preacher just looked to Fury, and at his nod, stepped down from the podium.

Fury stepped up. "You all know why we're here," he stated gravely. "Tony Stark died yesterday in his Tower. I'm not here to sugarcoat it, I'm not even here to tell you that he was a good man. We know that I'd be lying through my teeth. I had a grudging respect for the bastard, but that doesn't mean I liked him. However, we're here to honor his memory. Enough from me. Who wants the mic?"

Rhodey stepped up. "Hell," he began, "I didn't think that I'd be at Tony's funeral this early. He had a…tendency to put himself in danger, but he also was able to get himself out of it. Have I told you guys about his first…mission as Iron Man?" No one but Fury and Pepper looked like they knew what he was talking about, and the Director's mouth quirked into what could be termed a smile, so the colonel continued.

"Well, Tony went after some of his weapons that had been sold under the table to terrorists in Afghanistan. Of course, the dumbass didn't try to tell me, so the Air Force sent two F-22's after the suit, having no clue what the hell this was. I had no clue either, but still!" He ran his hands over his face.

"He'd already blown up all of the weapons, and he was headed back. The F-22's engaged with him, sending missiles. He barely missed the first two, but he obviously knew that the pilots weren't going to give up. Well, somehow Tony managed to stick himself to the bottom of one of those F-22's to get out of sight, but the first one's partner saw him. He got tossed off of the plane's belly, and as he was flung off, the suit literally wentthrough the wing of the other F-22. That one went down, and everyone in the base with me just flipped out.

"By now, Tony had me on the phone, and I was trying to defuse the situation, but…there was a plane down. To make it worse, the pilot's chute was jammed. Tony somehow got the chute free and then blasted away from the other F-22. I don't know how the guy did it, but…it was pretty good for his first time flying that thing. That's what I remember about him, you know? His impulsiveness and his ability to somehow talk himself out of the situations he got himself into." The colonel stepped down from the podium, scrubbing at his eyes.

Natasha surprised everyone present by stepping up next. She simply said, "I once had to compile a profile on Tony. I said that he was self-centered, narcissistic, and didn't play well with others. While I was right, I was also wrong. I admit this. Tony is not only a self-centered asshole. When it counts, he does the right thing. I've seen him be generous. I've seen him be a good man. He changed. If he was here, I'd apologize.

"He said himself that he didn't trust me. The one thing that I really want from him now is for him to retract that statement. I was too harsh when I judged him – I know that now." She stepped down in turn and walked to the very back of the room, where Clint joined her and simply put an arm around her. She leaned into his touch, but gave no other sign of thanks.

No one else stepped forward, so Fury nodded again at the pastor. The small man stepped forward and intoned, "Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust." The group left the gravesite, somber. The coffin was lowered into the ground and buried.

xXx

Meanwhile, in the Tower, a screen was shut off and a presence muttered, "Damn. She was actually being truthful for once, huh, J?"

JARVIS answered, "It would appear so, sir."

The presence smiled. "Remember what I said, buddy. No clues. No hints. That's my job."

JARVIS's voice carried a humor that no one besides the one in front of him had ever heard when he said, "Of course, sir."

Remember, review or Natasha will come looking for you!

The next chapter should be out within the month. :)