He wasn't sure why Shinon woke him at the crack of dawn and dragged him over to his room, but Ike knew it couldn't be a good thing. Especially since Shinon was sober. Shinon rarely ever approached him sober.

"Well? Where's this thing you wanted me to see so badly?" he asked once Shinon had him inside. Shinon pointed to his bed with a wicked grin, and Ike gaped. A dark-haired woman lay sleeping in that bed, clad only in one of Shinon's shirts; upon closer inspection he recognized it as-

"-Aimee?"

"You lost, kid." Shinon's grin became a smug smirk as he tossed his hair over one shoulder. "Yep, I got at that before you had a chance and boy, you missed out."

"So...you dragged me here just to tell me you slept with Aimee," Ike said flatly. "Am I supposed to be upset?"

"Hello?!" Shinon hissed. "I stole her from you! You two were dancing around each other forever and whoosh! In comes Shinon with a case of ale and all his charm to sweep her into his bed! And boy, you should've heard her, Shinon, oh Shinon! Didn't even mention you, kid. Boy, you must really be kickin' yourself now!" Ike rolled his eyes, wondering if Shinon was either blind or crazy to think he'd done any of the dancing.

"I don't care," he said. "Aimee's free to be with whoever she wants to. I never had any claim to her." Shinon frowned, narrowing his eyes and leaning in close to him.

"Are you daft, whelp? Listen to me." He spoke slowly, as if talking to a small child or an idiot. "I fucked a woman who was madly in love with you. She enjoyed it. She'll probably never want to look at you again after she's had me." Then, slower. "I. Stole. A Woman. From. You."

"And I. Don't. Care." Ike narrowed his eyes. "I never wanted Aimee in the first place. She made me uncomfortable. In fact, I'm happy for the two of you." That almost seemed to offend Shinon; he gasped, his eyes widened and he made several sputtering noises before glaring at Ike again.

"Idiot."

"I've got to go talk to Mist," Ike said. "I hope you and Aimee are very happy together."

"Mm..." Just then, Aimee began to wake up, the fabric of Shinon's shirt sliding down one shoulder and her hair a mess. "Oh, hi Ike. I guess loverboy told you the news," she said. "Sorry, honey, but a woman's gotta know when to move on. You understand, right?"

"I do. And I hope you two will be very happy together," Ike said. "I've got to go talk to Mist now. See you later, Shinon." He left, bewildered but nonetheless relieved. At least she'd finally stop chasing him.

-x-

"Stupid Ike," Shinon muttered as he watched him leave. "Even when I win, he still wins!"

"Oh, don't let it get to you, pooky." Aimee slid out of bed and wrapped her arms over his shoulders. Shinon bristled.

"What did you call me?"

"You heard me, dearest! Mm, it's so nice to be with a man who wants me! Finally, someone I can truly call lover, it's been too long since I've-"

"Hey, wait a minute!" He shrugged her off. "Look, I'm happy to fuck you anytime you want but that's it. I thought you knew! I thought that's what you wanted!"

"At first, but it only takes a moment to fall in love," Aimee purred. "I'm yours forever now, pooky-bear." Shinon actually felt his skin crawl. He didn't do serious relationships. He didn't do "falling in love" and if there was one thing he hated in a relationship it was sickeningly sweet pet names.

"We're not in love. And never, ever call me that again."

"Okay, honey, whatever you say!" Shinon buried his face in his hands with a groan. What the fuck have I gotten myself into?

Still, he reasoned, the sex was great. And when she wasn't calling him stupid pet names or claiming they were in love she was cute and fun to be with. Maybe he could convince her to knock off the romantic crap and just be fuckbuddies.

Yeah, right, and Heather suddenly wants dick.

"Ooh, I'm starving. Why don't I go make us breakfast?" She still wore his shirt and didn't seem like she'd be putting on anything else anytime soon.

This was going to be a long day.