A/N- This story was born out of the concept of the mayor and sheriff bantering not-so-playfully over instant messager during a weekly meeting. It's set before the curse is broken and I have no idea where it is going yet. Enjoy and review :)

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"Sheriff Swan?" The curt, no-nonsense voice rang across the room. Emma looked up from where she had been squishing zombies on her phone with her finger. A triumphant and disdainful smirk played across the face of the brunette adjacent her. "Important call?"

The blonde didn't miss a beat. "No, I was simply reviewing Storybrook's crime statistics in my email." She tapped out of the app and flashed the phone's screen toward the mayor.

"Of course, and are you ready to present your findings?" Regina knew damn well that the frustrating Sheriff had not been doing anything worthwhile on the device. What was more was that Emma knew that Regina knew that she had been dicking around.

"Certainly, Madam Mayor." The blonde unfolded her lean frame from the uncomfortable wooden chair and lolled toward the brunette's desk at the front of the room. To Regina's great annoyance, Emma perched her ass on the top of the table, mostly blocking the brunette from view of the rest of the room.

Regina's mouth tightened as she glared at the red leather jacket that she had come to associate explicitly with aggravation, irritation, and unruly behavior. She had watched the blonde peer in concentration down at her lap while her fingers tapped away at her phone. The movement had been much too constant and random to have been messaging or scrolling. It was obvious that she had been enjoying some sort of game and, by the way the blonde had tucked her tongue between her teeth, one that she had been losing.

This simple observation brought a wicked smirk to the mouth of the mayor as she considered all the games at which she could beat the blonde. As her eyes traveled down the back of the tall Sheriff as she droned on about crime rates and the importance of reporting misdemeanors to the authorities, her gaze traveled over the flare of the woman's hips to the flesh perched unceremoniously upon her desk. Regina considered quietly what the Evil Queen would have done with a nuisance such as the blonde annoyance sitting before her.

Emma became aware of a tickle between her shoulder blades. She could feel Regina staring daggers at her back. It almost made her glad that they were in public; so intense was the glaring that the blonde believed she would be dead; had Regina been able to access a deadly weapon. Of course, considering the resourcefulness of the woman behind her back, Emma observed that it was likely that the brunette could MacGyver some sort of tool using no more than a paper clip, her wit, and her two carat, diamond earring.

A nervous glance in her direction alerted Regina that her staring had not gone unnoticed. She found that another smirk made its way to her lips; she was glad the woman was aware of her. Regina wrote down something on the notepad before her, slid it forward and tapped it smartly with her pen. Emma looked down.

Wrap it up. She read. Fighting a grin, she turned back to her almost dozing crowd. "Now neighbors, let us discuss what a misdemeanor is exactly-." The sharp toe of Regina's designer boot connected with the back of Emma's heel. "next time." She choked out and the crowd sighed in relief; none of them noticing the tears of pain that swam to their Sheriff's eyes.

"Thank you, Sheriff. For that riveting presentation." The mayor stood and addressed her subjects…ahem…citizens. She dished out assignments, reinforced her authority by jerking everyone around a bit and then dismissed them. "Sheriff Swan, please stay behind; I have a special assignment for you this week." Regina moved off to bid goodbye to her council members.

The blonde groaned inwardly, she was sure that the task was going to be a pile of dung. She sat back down on the desk and crossed her ankles before her. Emma watched Regina; she couldn't help it. The woman was easily the most demanding presence in the room and commandeered everyone's attention. It seemed every move she made, every toss of her hair, every cold smile was put on; as though she knew she was being watched every second by several pairs of eyes.

She acts like she's done this her entire life. The sheriff thought to herself. Like the sum of her days has been spent being watched. This line of thinking led Emma to consider that she knew very little about Regina's life. What had her parents been like? What drove her to become mayor? What had she done before Henry?

The blonde looked out the window and tried to imagine a young, happy Regina. A Regina not weighed down by the immense power she had accumulated for herself. She tried to imagine what the woman did on weekends besides cook up punishments for the people she disliked. Suddenly, an image of the brunette lying on a beach somewhere burst forth.

Emma watched in her mind's eye as Regina rubbed oil up and down her bare, olive skin. Sunlight glinting in the dark hair swept back from her face. Eyes hidden behind oversized sun shades and a blood-red two piece clinging to her lithe, toned body. She watched as water dripped down over her collarbone and descended between her-

"Sheriff?" Emma jumped from the desk and came nearly nose-to-nose with the real (and less relaxed) version of the woman in her brain. Regina took a step back and furrowed her brow. "Did I interrupt something?" She asked, considering the flush on the blonde's usually pale cheeks.

"I was considering whether or not I have an icepack at home for my bruised heel." Emma fired back in spite of her slightly breathless state.

Regina smirked widely and feigned concern. "Yes, I'm sure being on your feet all day takes a toll."

The blonde glared at her. "So what is my assignment this week?" She asked. What hell have you devised for me?

"I wish for you to update the statistics on the crime rate in Storybrook."

"Okay…" Emma looked at her suspiciously, "which statistics specifically?"

"Misdemeanors." Regina smirked.

The blonde tried to keep her face and voice neutral. You asked for that one, Swan. "Right, such as?"

"I believe you should begin with littering." The brunette swept around the desk and began packing her things away into her briefcase. "I found numerous pieces of trash on my way to work this past week and it sickens me that my citizens care so little for the beautification of their town." Her voice lilted dramatically and the blonde fought to not roll her eyes. Leave it to the mayor to make littering a personal insult.

"Right." Emma said again. "And you want me to do this how exactly?"

Regina looked up at her. "I want you to catalogue the litter so that we may acquire a demographic of repeat offenders." Her briefcase snapped shut and she lifted it from the desk.

Emma stared at her; working through the bullshit that she associated with the politician's usual banter. It sounded, to her, like a fancy way of saying that she wanted her to count the garbage on the highway. "You want me to count the pieces of litter?"

"Yes, and catalogue them."

"Catalogue?" Emma said faintly.

"Yes, Sheriff." The brunette sighed dramatically as though the woman was being stupid on purpose. "What type of litter is most common? Old magazines? Beverage bottles?" She ticked off on her fingers. "This, I believe, will allow us to know what type of person most frequently litters. I wish to have it all typed up in a spreadsheet by the end of the week. You will present your findings to me, in my office, on Friday." She finished and headed past her out the door.

Emma stared weakly after her. She marveled, not for the first time, at the wicked, wicked sense of imagination that Regina possessed.