Carlisle POV

The sun's rays found me staring out the window of my office as I recalled the last few days. Jasper had gone with Cassidy on a hunt, and they both had seemed relaxed when they returned. I had watched them return, Jaspers laughter filling the air as Cassidy bit her lip to hide her mirth and shyly looking at him. I chose not to listen to their conversation, giving them some sort of privacy, but I knew their easiness would soon disappear. My wife had shown me all the texts she had given from the different parts of the family and true to form, Rosalie had threatened Cassidy again. I knew it was only done out of uncertainty, protectiveness and anger but this could turn into a problem. For now, I let it be, Rosalie was Rosalie and her temper sometimes got the better of her but I couldn't imagine her harming Cassidy for now. As I had come down to the living room indeed the atmosphere had changed, as my son and daughter stood dripping in the kitchen, a trail of mud behind them. Esme had chuckled slightly, but Rose couldn't help but sneer. Immediately Cassidy's mood changed and she headed upstairs, even if Jasper came to her defense. The days after had been calm. Cassidy still wasn't home all hours of all the days, keeping to the rules I had set in the beginning. She wasn't to be alone with any other female of the family. But she was close. Eager to join when Jasper or I returned home. She didn't avoid Emmett, Jacob or Edward, but she probably felt that they didn't accept her as we did. A smile curled my lips as I felt my own acceptance of the girl in our midst. How different had it been when I heard Alice speak her name and of her return. I still should be weary I knew, she hadn't offered any sort of explanation of why things had happened, but she was my daughter. And her despair and sadness told me how much she regretted what she did.

I turned round, my eyes finding the girl I mused about curled up on the couch in the office, a book in her hands obviously trying hard to not disturb me. Her eyes were light, features relaxed, body clean and comfortable. She showed how much she actually had been focused on me the moment I moved, taking a seat in one of the big leather chairs opposite of the couch. She sat up, book laying next to her, forgotten immediately. Fingers fidgeted, eyes timid as they peeked from underneath long lashes to me. "Should I leave?" she was the first to break the silence that had begun. I sat back, shaking my head slightly "no. I wanted to talk to you for a moment" I watched the small movements her body made, a tremble appearing and disappearing faster than human eyes would have been able to see. Her eyes had been downcast yet again, and I waited just long enough for them to dart up to my face "we need to speak about the past Cassidy". I saw the swallow she made in nervousness "but we will keep to the topics you choose. You tell me what you wish to share. Take your time, but we have to start talking if we want to get passed it". Her hair slid forward as she almost curled in upon herself and I rose slowly, not wanting to startle her. I sat down on the couch as well, my fingers curling underneath her chin, turning that lovely face up towards me as I looked her in the eye. "I know you're scared and nervous talking to me Cassidy, but I am your father. Respect me enough to look me in the eye as we speak". Eyes closed for a mere moment before they opened again and I could see the resolve within them. Stroking her cheek softly, I let go and sat back waiting patiently for her to begin. Loving my wife for shooing the rest of the family out of the house and leaving as well, this was between me and my daughter.

Cassidy POV

I knew this moment would come. Eventually. And I tried to clamp down on the panic that rose in my chest. Here was my father, wanting me to look him straight in the eye and talk about my deceit. My mind whirled, thoughts scattered and breathing more rapid than certainly was necessary. Why now? Things had been going so well. I swallowed again, the silence growing. I didn't know where to start. What he wanted to hear. Suddenly, I heard him speak again, and I struggled to focus "Cassidy, calm down" His fingers again against my face, and I couldn't help but gently turn my head and lean against that strong hand. I forced myself to look at him, his gentle eyes finding mine "speak about whatever comes to mind. Would it help if I asked questions?" I nodded minutely, and instantly regretted the loss of the touch of his hand as he withdrew. Instead, I focused on his voice, listening "tell me. Where have you been these last few years?" This I could speak about I decided, this I could answer and so I began to tell that part of the tale.

"I ran. I couldn't stop running. I..I don't really know where I went. It's hard to remember those first ..weeks? I don't know. All I could feel was panic. My mind repeating what had happened over and over again. Like a loop I couldn't stop. When I came to water, I swam. All I could think about was..I needed to get away. Far away. And I was scared". I didn't notice my body curling up, knees drawing up as if to protect myself from these memories, keeping my eyes locked on my father's gentle ones. "When I finally stopped, I didn't know where I was. Later I found out I was in Russia. But I didn't know back then. And all I could feel was panic and fear and thirst. I hunted". I broke eye contact, looking down as I whispered "and I drank. People. "I could feel his fingers touch my chin again, gently reminding me to look back up, a soft nod to persuade me to continue "When I calmed somewhat, I remained in the woods. I don't know how much time passed. I went from village to village to not be noticed, learned the routines of the people, the language, the customs. I just watched, learned. I didn't want to drink. I'd stay between the trees until the thirst became too much. I didn't think you'd ever forgive me. I..I knew that if you would see me again, you'd kill me. So I might as well do what my body was screaming at me to do. What David..and Kathryn told me to do. I was a demon. A no good, God abandoned, fuck up, traitor demon" I shifted slightly, pulling my hand into the sleeve of my sweater and rubbed my eyes, as if actual tears had fallen. I watched dad cringe slightly at my language, but it was true. That was what I was. What I am.

I hadn't noticed I had stopped speaking before his voice softly rumbled "how long were you there?" shrugging gently, I bit my lower lip. "I don't know. Years? I know there were others, but I stayed clear of them. I was..I was lost. I wanted to be alone. I needed to be. "I took a deep breath, before whispering "until one day I killed an elderly woman in one of the bigger cities and I fell apart" it could have been anyone really. I just couldn't do it anymore. Perhaps I was a fuck up and a traitor, but I didn't want to do what I was doing anymore. and that was when I met Vania" my lips curled into a smile just thinking about her, and my mind pulled up the image of her face even if I was looking at my father. "She was old already. Later she told me she had heard me cry and came to see. She was brave that way. She looked to what I had done and then to me. And as our eyes met, I knew she knew I killed the woman. But instead of screaming, she was calm and told me she knew what I was. I went with her, I remember holding her hand. She brought me to the monastery" Snorting a laugh, I remembered the irony I felt. What was a demon supposed to do in a monastery? "I was too empty to protest. I didn't listen to her and the nuns. I just was led to a small room, a simple bed, a desk and chair. It was mostly empty. But when Vania returned she gave me a bible. And told me that even if I was damned, I was still welcome. And that was when everything changed. "

I finally broke eye contact, hoping that for now I had told him enough, and shivered softly. I could feel him move, his strong arm wrap around me and pulling me closer. My body moved and I ended curled up on the couch, my head on his lap, his fingers stroking long curls, as we were both lost in the silence and our own thoughts. It didn't take long before I heard the family return, but they left us alone and for that I was grateful.