Captain's Quarters
SSV Normandy, 2183
0943 HRS Normandy Time

"Right, before you do anything, you've probably got questions. I know I would ask a lot, 'coz I've been there, this suit and everything," the suit stated. Shepard was rather stunned, as the suit's voice retained a sense of humanity in it. Joseph's deep-timbre pierced the ever-growing silence that permeated the cabin's dark ambience.

Shepard attempted to grease things along with a quick retort, but her mouth simply won't move.

"Now, now, I trust you not to swear with that sailor's mouth of yours. What did your mother teach you, Shepard?" Joseph teased. The surrounding HUD changed its colors from its usually comforting light turquoise to a more piercing flame red, indicating Shepard's rising levels of adrenaline and a myriad of other fight-or-flight hormones.

"You don't have to do that, you creepy old haggard. As far as I'm concerned, you swore enough already, you old geezer," Shepard replied. Interestingly enough, her mouth barely moved as she replied, but the AI/man hybrid somehow knew what she said. Right, she thought, she's in a suit! She's in him, or is he intruding me? Or wait a minute? Is 'he' an 'it'?

"Lady? As far as I'm concerned, I'm alive as you are. But shifting from this topic here, you've got to know how deep shit's gonna get for you. And the box has your name written on it for a special reason, my dearest snowflake."

If she could, Shepard would've reach for the man, grab his neck, and pin him to the ground, for every word he said seems as if it were to seek anger from a person. Is he truly a douche? Well, her answer to that is a simple yes. Come to think of it now, she started regretting the decision to place the suit on her. But her curiosity is piqued as Joseph, as annoying as he is, mentions that she's special.

"Wow. My files about you were right. You do have a superiority complex. Even your instructor says that you're always the 'keen performer', as quoted here from your archives. Anyway, before eliciting even more reactions from you, yes, I'm connected to the Alliance database, no, I'm not going to explain about it to you, and yes, I've got more to say." He's not showing any signs of stopping, so Shepard decided that an interruption would prove important to convey her message.

"You know, for a computer, you're surprisingly talkative," Shepard said in a surprisingly nonchalant manner, considering how hot her blood had become.

"Again, not dead. Just in a computer. You do realize this suit has a lot of functions that would render your average human being's brain fried, no?" Joseph retorted yet again, his manner of speech even more playful than the last line, if that's even possible.

Shepard had received enough. She wanted answers. And she wants it fast.

"I'm going to ask then, why me? Why force me wear this suit?" she asked in a frenzy mix of curiosity and anger.

"Unlike years before, we've discovered another Prothean artifact. And you know what it said? Warnings, of all kinds imaginable! Stuff like, 'eat your veggies'… Oh wait a minute, that's not right. No, it said something about the race called as Reapers. Have you heard about them? No? They're pretty elusive, you know, and they do this horrible stuff called reaping entire civilizations they could come across. Bet you've never heard of 'em, cause the brass went skittering to the closet, then chanted this mantra: Nothing's there, nothing's there, the Council would protect us," Joseph ranted sardonically as the HUD maintained its red color."

"Then? How the hell did a N7 operative got his hand over in this shit?" Shepard demanded an answer. She felt as if Joseph undermined her intelligence.

But as the bickering pair continued their Q&A/argument session, Ashley went to the captain's quarters, annoyed at the noise that somehow could permeate the usually silent sleep pod.

"Skipper? I mean, Commander? With all due respect, you need to shut the hell up before the whole ship wakes up to your self-talk!" Ashley whispered, giving Shepard a glare that would make your hot coffee colder. Somehow.

"Sorry Ash, I'm kind of in the middle of something," Shepard replied with a hint of sorry in her eyes. But not a second later, a male voice erupted, with the hope of throwing off Ashley and annoying Shepard even more, both at the same time. "She is in the middle of working me out."

"Are you – I'm – what?" Ash stammered?

And then the mother of all clichés spurted out of Shepard's mouth.

"It's not what it seems to be, Ash!" Shepard's cheek went deep red that instant. But the voice flared up again. "Hush off, would you? Meddling with someone's business in the middle of the night could have dire repercussions."

But Shepard decided that it's enough. What happened next is beyond explanation, for the next thing they know, the three entities in the room were all launched into Shepard's memory on the current predicament, answering Ashley's questions, yet inciting even more queries in both Shepard's and Ashley's minds.

The memory was, weirdly enough, crystal clear. Even the normally unflinching Shepard opened her mouth absent-mindedly to express her bewilderment at the series of events that are slowly unfolding before her. Ashley herself couldn't help but wonder where she was and why Shepard was talking to herself, but more so, she wondered why she was hovering, bodiless, in thin air, watching Shepard as she became even more agitated than she was before.

Then all snapped back to reality.

Shepard and Ashley found themselves sprawling on the floor, the floor as they return to their senses. Not long later, they stood up, looked at each other, with Ashley demanding an explanation, and Shepard completely bewildered on what had occurred.

"Confused, ladies? Don't be. That's a mighty fine demonstration on what the suit could do. In fact, it could do a whole lot more. You'll be surprised, too, at how much damage this thing could deflect. I'll explain later. But Ms. Williams, now that your questions are answered, your presence is no longer welcome. With all due respect, Ms. Williams, please leave," Joseph announced gleefully. His expression is no different from a nurse, giving their patient an announcement that a visitor is coming to them in their times of agony. Of course, Ashley, being Ashley, became understandably angry at this sudden announcement.

"Why is it that whenever someone says 'with all due respect' they really mean 'kiss my ass'?" the soldier retorted.

"How perceptive of you, Ms. Williams! Fortunately for you, you are NOT in fact, facing a military official, in fact, you're facing a guy trapped in a computer. So please, kiss my ass and leave this fucking room. Me and Shepard got business to discuss, m'kay? Back to sleep, darling. Hush now."

"Shepard, this thing… You got to remove the suit, Shepard!" Ashley said, obviously aggravated by the suit's incredibly offensive reply. In fact, she was never this angry since her argument with her father ended up with her almost leaving the family's house. But that is another story, for another time. Now though, Ashley is frantically tearing the black suit enveloping Shepard's body, of course, to no avail. The suit is now a part of her. Not that Shepard have realized that, though.

The two women struggled to remove the offending piece of the garment. But the suit was instead enveloped with a noticeable surge of energy, pushing Ashley away from the suit, and leaving Shepard… Yes, you've guessed it right – bewildered. Again.

"Not happening, ladies. This suit is staying on, m'kay?" the suit said in a mocking manner. Why, of course it is mocking, Shepard thought, it might as well be sadistic! "Tell you what, you go on to your pod now, and hush your little mouth, Ashley, and you, Shepard, get some rest, yeah? Our story's definitely not over. And you know what's even better? You've got more episodes of bewilderment to come! I mean, really, you would be stunned on what this thing could do! Now off you go, both of you, to bed."

The small speech ended with the suit secreting melatonin to the air, rendering the two women even more drowsy than they could even imagine, and as a result, a very sleepy Ashley stumbled her way to her pod to sleep, while the now sleepy Commander drifted away to her reverie on the cold steel floor, while saying this sentence: "Fuck… you… suit."

And that, concluded the first night Shepard tried the suit on.