PART ONE OF THE "Spektography Effect" Series:
A little thing I've been working on before I start on the next chapter of Leaving Home.. :3 Rated M for language. THAT'S ALL. Enjoy! (More likes, more chances of sequel...
Disclaimer: I don't own ROTG, or the lyrics below. The song is "How" by Regina Spektor. I recommend listening to it while reading. :')
How
Jack had taken to skating on his lake (yes, the lake where he died was his now) whenever he was thinking deep, or feeling deep. And now, the winter sprit was in the latter.
He and Bunnymund had always been in an on-again, off-again relationship due to the warring nature of their personalities and their roles as Bringers of Winter and Spring: Jack was fun-loving and mischievous, always seeking to bring the winter fun wherever he goes; Bunny was stoic and organized, always seeking to make the perfect Easter for his ankle-biters all over the world. It was these traits that caused them trouble before…
Yet, these were also the traits that brought them together.
How can I forget your love?
How can I never see you again?
Jack could feel the soles of his feet leave the surface of the icy water as he continued to skate. He could feel nothingness as he slowly floated away from the surface of the lake as he maintained his rhythm, too deep in his thoughts to do anything about it.
Easter was two weeks ago, and Aster had already begun preparing for next year's celebration. Jack was concerned for his Pooka's workaholic character—has been, for a while, now. Jack was always thinking of new ways to get Bunny to drop what he was doing and spend some time with him. You see, their relationship is centered more on their mutual understanding with one another, and the powerful desire to not be alone anymore…
However, this time, Jack thought Bunny just crossed the line:
~-O-~
There is a time and place
For one, more sweet embrace
And there's a time
When it all went wrong
"Jack!" Bunny roared, his green eyes smoldering as he hopped around the Warren looking for a certain, mischievous sprite.
Jack flew in from one of the tunnels, his right hand holding his wooden staff that was glowing with soft, blue light as Jack floated down without the aid of Wind (Jack knew Bunny hated it when he brought cold wind to the Warren).
"Hey, Bunny! Wha—"His question was cut short as a rather angry Pooka stormed up behind him and started yelling into his ear.
"Why would ya do this Jack?!" he yelled, his Australian as thick as ever as he pointed over to the frozen River of Coloring. Some of Aster's "googies" were tripping over themselves walking on the ice, a handful of them cracking in the process.
"Sorry, Kangaroo," Jack said, forcing a chuckle. He never expected such an outburst from the Pooka; it was a week before Easter, and Bunny was stressing about the extra eggs he would have to paint for the children. Ever since he and the Pooka got together, Jack made Bunny set up a schedule for work so that he wouldn't be so bothersome when Bunny had to work. Clearly, Aster hadn't been following that schedule. Jack frowned at the thought.
"I just wanted you to—"
"Wanted me to what?" Aster sneered, "To have some fun? Frostbite, if I had fun every time you dropped by, I would never be able to do some work for a change."
Jack was taken aback by the hostility in the Pooka's voice, "But—"
"AND ANOTHER THING," Aster boomed, his six-foot form towering over Jack, who stepped back. "When would ya take the hint that I don't wanna have fun right now? What the bloody hell am I supposed to do ta make you stop? Stop acting like a bloody ankle-biter! You're 300 years old! Stop—hey! Look at me when I'm talkin' to ya!"
Jack was holding back tears, now. Bunny's words reflected all of Jack's insecurities when he committed himself to loving the Pooka with all of his frozen heart. He had bowed his head and clenched his fist around his wooden staff as he fought the tears when Bunny forced him to look up once more. All the while, Bunny's rant never ceased.
"Don't ya get it, Frost? When will ya understand the fact that not all of us can just drop whateva' we're doin', and play?! Ya need to learn that—"
"Would you please stop?" Jack practically yelled, albeit the last part was breathy. Jack couldn't hold his tears in any longer, so he let them flow down his cheeks like frozen rivers.
Bunny faltered when he saw Jack's eyes; the vibrant mischief that shone within them had been replaced by a look of utter pain. His hands were paler as he clenched his staff, and his lower lip trembled.
"Jack—" Bunny tried, but the winter spirit quickly shook his head. He backed away from Bunny, whose eyes were wide. The winter spirit took a deep breath.
"You obviously didn't follow the schedule we planned," Jack said, trying his damndest to keep his voice level, trying his damndest not to just leave the Pooka standing there like the ticking bomb he is, and trying his damndest to remain calm even though he just wanted to rant his throat hoarse. He was blinking rapidly, trying to get the tears out of his vision while trying to numb the burning in his chest. His hands clenched and unclenched around his staff. "So you're stressing out on the last weeks before Easter. I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner. And," he cut off Bunny, who was about to protest. "I'm sorry for always fucking around when you obviously don't want me here."
Jack hissed out the last part, putting in as much venom as he could. The Pooka's head lowered in shame and his ears were pressed against his head, and Jack's heart lurched. Jack so desperately wanted to fly over there and just hug Bunny, to apologize for everything. But no, this is where Jack draws the line. He loved Aster, with all of his frozen heart, but he's not going to play the sappy guy who always says "sorry" when it's not even his fault.
Not gonna happen.
"I'm leaving, talk to me after Easter is over." Jack sighed, his tone weary. He turned around and was about to fly out of there when he felt a soft paw grip his arm.
"Jack, wait." Bunny sighed. Jack's heart gave another lurch, but this time out of anger.
"Let go of me," the winter spirit said, trying not to hiss at the Pooka. Aster's green eyes met Jack's and to the Guardian of Fun's surprise, utter pain was reflected in those emerald orbs. Jack looked away and ordered the Wind to pull him away from the Spring Guardian's grasp. Bunny's hold tightened.
"Jack, I—" Bunny began.
"E. Aster Bunnymund! I'm asking you one last time: Fucking. Let. Go. Of. Me!" Jack positively yelled. Cold winds whipped around the Warren as the Pooka let go of Jack, more of shock than compliance. Jack immediately left, not even bothering to tell the Wind to call off the Northerlies.
~-O-~
Time can come and take away the pain;
But I just want my memories to remain:
Jack was disappointed… no, more than disappointed: he was heartbroken.
He knew Bunny was down there, preparing for a better Easter for the children. And it was breaking his heart. Jack knew he was being selfish; the Pooka wasn't his, he belonged to all the children of the world. Yet every time he thought about it, his mind would flash back to those times in bed, how Aster would always whisper to Jack's ear before falling asleep: "I'm yours, Jackie; Now and foreva," with his thick accent coating those soft, warm words.
Jack hated himself for letting himself believe that anyone would just drop everything and love him. He could feel himself regretting ever finding love in the Pooka, only to have it broken, mended, and broken all over again like some cheapskate. He hated himself for always being the dedicated, loyal one: loyal to his sister, loyal to Bunny. It only doubles the pain inflicted whenever they hurt him.
Jack was tired of always being the one to try and make this relationship work; of always being the one to get Bunny out of his business and into business, of always being the one think of new ways to make the Pooka happy. He wanted Bunny to be the one to make first move, now.
Yet, he knew that he would never let the Pooka go.
Even know, with all their fights and arguments, Jack would always treasure the memories he'd gotten from his time with Bunnymund; the dates, the love-making, the fights, even. His experience with his memory box taught him to treasure each memory, each thought, each experience.
Though he could do without the pain. Yeah, he'd be better off without that burning feeling in his chest.
To hear your voice;
To see your face;
There's not one moment;
I'd erase.
You are a guest here, now.
Two more weeks, and finally, he felt the earth give way feet below him and the head of a certain Pooka poke out.
The sharp, burning in his chest had dulled to a slight pressure whenever he thought of that day. He eventually reached the conclusion to let things play out; Jack was not going to be the sappy lover forever, that was where he drew the line, that was where he was going to put his foot down.
"Jack?" Bunny's voice rang through the silent glade. Jack's lake was a few feet to his right below, the winter spirit caused the North wind to blow by some snow, and the pond was slightly frozen over. He was sitting on one of the branches of a tall tree, his feet and staff dangling over the edge.
Jack looked down; Bunny's emerald orbs were trained on him, and he felt his heart melt, but at the same time, he felt that pressure again.
Jack didn't want to speak to him, not yet. He floated down and stared at the Pooka with a blank expression on his usually jubilant face, just to make sure Bunny knew that Jack acknowledged his entrance.
"Look, mate; I—" Bunny began, when Jack suddenly cut in:
"How were the eggs?" Jack asked, forcing genuine curiosity in his tone. He held back the icy comment: Were they any better since there was no one around to fuck around?
Bunny stared at Jack warily, his green eyes staring at the winter spirit, scanning his face to see if Jack held something aside from curiosity.
"Fine," Bunny replied, hesitantly. He ceased staring, much to Jack's relief. The Guardian nodded to the Pooka before turning his back and summoning the Wind to take him away.
"Jack, wait!" Aster yelled, his Australian accent ringing once more. Jack stilled, the wind still whistling around him, mussing his snowy locks. His feet were inches from the guard, the Wind keeping him aloft. He didn't turn, though.
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry," Bunny said, his voice mirroring his eyes, which were full of sorrow. Jack still did not turn.
"For what?" he prodded. The spirit needed to know; needed to know if Bunny was going to be serious about their relationship this time, if he was going to man up to his problems and not let Jack solve it for him. He needed to know if Bunny loved him for everything that he is; mischievousness and annoying habits included.
"Fer yellin' at ya," Bunny said, almost with conviction. Jack's heart slightly lightened from the pressure, and he turned around. He expected another answer, he expected Bunny to allay his insecurities and fears, and he expected to hear Bunny say he loved Jack with all his heart and that he is Jack's and Jack's alone.
Jack's blue eyes stared into the Pooka's, and Bunny was confused as to why Jack was still silent. Jack's expectant gaze did not go unnoticed to the Spring Guardian, too; Aster knew the light of hope that shone in the eyes of a person, only he didn't understand what Jack wanted more from him.
"And?" Jack pressed, the hope slowly withering in his eyes with each passing second. Bunny just stared at Jack, his head cocked to the side. He was confused. Jack's face fell, and tears threatened to spill once more.
"You know what? Never mind," Jack said, in a resigned tone. The winter sprite hung his head as he turned his back on Bunnymund and flew off.
"What?" Bunny yelled after the Guardian. In any other circumstance, this would've made Jack chuckle at the Pooka's density, but now he just barely suppressed a sob.
"Leave me alone, Aster! Just go!" Jack managed to yell before he was engulfed with sadness. His chest wracked with sobs as he ordered the Wind to take him anywhere, everywhere, where E. Aster Bunnymund wasn't.
So baby, how
Can I forget you love?
How can I never see you again?