June 24, 2017

It was a warm day in June with a few clouds overhead. Hanna was visiting with the newborn she gave birth to only four weeks before. When the girls insisted they would come visit her in Connecticut, Hanna said she would do anything to get far away from apartment she'd been stuck in since little Tucker had been born. Realizing it was a beautiful day, Spencer, Aria and Hanna made a trip to the lake and settled in a shady spot near the water where Rosie could swim and play.

"He makes Rosie seem so...big," Aria said quietly, pouting, as she cradled the baby in her arms. She watched Rosie attempt to build a sandcastle about ten feet away while wearing a purple life jacket over her one-piece swimsuit. While the "castle" was more like a pile of dirt, the fact she constructed it on her own made Aria realize how big her daughter was getting. So big compared to the tiny infant in her arms. Where did the time go?

"Then have another one," Hanna suggested, as if it were the simplest decision in the world.

Aria threw her the side eye. "Not until I'm at least 30. Rosie and I are going to travel the world...as soon as I'm able to save money."

"Right," Hanna murmured, rolling her eyes. "Because you planned your first kid."

"Han," Spencer said.

"Yeah?" Hanna challenged. "I want one of my friends to reproduce so Tucker will have a friend. Spence?"

"Sorry," she said, waving her hand. "Never happening."

"Really?" Aria inquired, surprised at the confession. "Have you ever told me that before?" Her phone, which was resting on the table, lit up with a new text.

Ezra

Are you home?

She quickly typed a reply.

No. Why?

"I wasn't certain until recently," Spencer explained. "I'd rather just enjoy my friends' babies. Less responsibility. Less physical toll. Less poop."

"Don't blame you," Hanna agreed. "You should see my vag right now."

"Ew, Han," Aria said in disgust.

"What? It looks like-"

"I know what it looks like, remember?" she said, tilting her head toward Rosie who was only a few feet away. "But she thinks babies come from belly buttons." Her phone lit up with a new text from Ezra.

I was in the neighborhood, wanted to surprise you and Rosie. :(

Again, she quickly typed a reply.

We're at Brookhaven Lake with Spencer and Hanna. You can stop by if you want. The beach near the swingset. :)

"Ezra's stopping by," Aria told them without looking up from her phone.

Spencer creased her brow. "Why?"

Aria shrugged. "He wants to see Rosie.""

Spencer continued to give her the look.

"I thought this was supposed to be a girls' day," Hanna reminded her.

"It is," Aria maintained. "It's just Ezra."

"Pretty sure he has a penis," Spencer muttered.

"He won't stay for long," she promised, digging her feet into the sand.

Aria knew Spencer was catching on to her strange behavior, but she couldn't help it. It had been a good day. She'd received a phone call earlier in the morning from Rosewood High offering her the teaching position that Ezra graciously opened for her. While she wasn't sure she'd accept it yet, she felt confident that they'd chosen her, and relieved she had a solid backup plan if her publishing career wasn't quite ready to take off.

The first person she'd told was Ezra, and from the tone of his voice on the other line, he was as happy as she was-possibly happier.

Following Aria and Ezra's little slip, their relationship was expected to head straight for the high seas of awkwardness and sink into the depths of that never happened, but instead, it was strangely not that awkward. In the week and some odd days after their bed rendezvous, they exchanged a number of flirty text messages when they were apart, and suggestive smirks when they were together, but nothing beyond that. It was like he hit some magic button and released a swarm of butterflies in her stomach whenever she saw his name on her phone or saw his face in person. She wasn't sure if she liked this feeling. As wonderful as it was in the moment, she knew intense highs had a tendency to lead to very deep lows. This recognition wasn't enough to stop her.

Part of her hated that she so easily went back to old habits by being less than loyal to Jeremy, the man she was seeing—but only a small part. The rest of her was preoccupied with the butterflies that flew through her veins. Jeremy was currently in Florida with his daughter, a trip that Aria and Rosie were invited to attend. Without a stable income, she knew it wasn't a wise way to spend her savings. Regardless, she was happy he was there. She was happy that her boyfriend was a thousand miles away.

She spent some time wondering if there were a future with Jeremy, which pretty much determined whether she'd take the dream position in New York. Maybe she needed to give it time for the little sparks to grow into a fire. It was a stressful decision to consider, and, if you ignore it, it will go away. That was another bad habit she kept. But for now, the problem was in Florida.

The girls started eating their picnic lunches when Ezra showed up. As soon as she noticed him walking their way, Aria jumped up from her beach chair to greet him. He was carrying a small bouquet of flowers. He enthusiastically hugged her in a tight embrace.

"Congratulations," he said, handing her the bouquet of sunflowers, purple irises, and daisies.

"Thank you," Aria said cheerfully, accepting the flowers. "But you already told me that this morning."

"I wanted to tell you in person."

Aria brought the flowers to her nose to smell them, then smiled blissfully. Rosie grabbed Ezra's legs from behind, alerting her father of her existence. Perhaps he'd been a little too focused on his daughter's mother. He pat her little head behind him. "Now, who is this?" he joked. "Did Auntie Spencer shrink?"

The little girl giggled while Spencer, who was sitting right in front of him, purposely ignored him. He twisted his body around and swiftly picked up his daughter, propping her petite body on his hip. "You're covered in sand, Rosie Posie," he noted.

She enthusiastically nodded. "I'm making a castle," she told him. "Can you help?"

"Sure."

"Not until after you eat your lunch," Aria requested, pointing to the little girl's spot on the blanket. Her sandwich was basically uneaten, but she'd devoured almost all of her Goldfish crackers.

"I'm not hungry," she whined.

"But Daddy is hungry," she said, looking up at Ezra. She shuffled through her beach bag and pulled out an extra peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a juice box. "Right?"

Ezra accepted the items and sat down on a corner of the large blanket, next to Rosie's spot. "Right."

He won't stay for long ultimately ended up being a bit of a lie. Following a quick lunch, Rosie and Ezra started building a sand castle. Being a bit of a perfectionist, Ezra got a little too into it and the structure became more of a sand kingdom. Aria was practically forced to help, although she would've rather spent her time gossiping with her friends on the blanket in the shade, getting to hog Hanna's baby. Nevertheless, she couldn't resist Ezra's ambitious desire to construct a castle fit for the best damn ant in the surrounding area. Rosie had definitely inherited this habit from her father, because the father-daughter team did not stop working until it was perfect. With the sun beating onto their backs, Aria and Rosie later took a dip in the water while Ezra stood with the water up to his knees. They all laughed as Rosie soaked his grey t-shirt by continuing to splash him. He took his t-shirt off and tossed it onto the sand, then dove into the water next to his daughter despite wearing a pair of khaki shorts.

The three of them had always been a family, from the day Rosie was born, to the day Aria and Ezra split, to the present day. They had made sure of that. And although they tried to be a normal family as best they could, Aria knew they weren't the definition of a real family. They didn't live together, celebrate holidays together, or send Christmas cards together. But right now, at this moment, for some reason Aria couldn't describe, she felt like they were a real family and this acknowledgement was as painful as it was joyful because she wasn't sure they'd ever really work as a family. As lovers? Yes, they were great lovers. But when it came down to the nitty gritty concept of building a life together, complete with all the ugly parts that came with it, she wasn't confident that was going to happen for them.

Spencer and Hanna weren't thrilled with Ezra's presence, and Aria could tell. Sadly, she also knew Ezra was catching on to their disapproval. He announced he had to get going to do some yard work before the sun went down. She followed him to the edge of the beach where the dirt met the parking lot, out of earshot from the rest of the group.

When they were alone, they exchanged the same smile they had for each other every meeting since the little slip.

"Thank you for today," he said earnestly. "For including me."

"I'm trying to be less stubborn," she admitted, shrugging.

He nodded, anxiously licking his lips. She knew he didn't come here just to drop off some flowers and play with Rosie.

"What is it?"

"I wanted to ask you something," he said apprehensively. "I don't need an answer now, but, I had been thinking a lot, and this doesn't have to mean anything you don't want it to mean."

Aria lowered her eyebrows. "What doesn't mean anything?"

"Remember when I suggested Rosie staying with me during the week?"

She nodded, wondering where this was going. She still felt uncomfortable whenever he mentioned this possibility.

"Why don't you both stay with me? Just until you figure out what you want to do, or you can afford the place you want. I have a guest room that never actually sees any guests. We wouldn't have to shuffle Rosie between the two of us. We could carpool to work in the fall."

She crossed her arms in front of her chest, unsure what to make of this offer. The concept sounded simple enough, but she was still in a relationship with Jeremy, and even if she wanted to have another go with Ezra, it was way too early for this. How would they separate their lives? Where would they draw the line? What if she used his bar of soap? Most importantly, it wouldn't be fair to Rosie if it didn't end up working out. They tried their best to maintain stability in their daughter's life. In reality, it was a complicated offer hidden under a mask of simplicity. But...she also wasn't completely against the possibility of replaying what happened the last time she was inside of his house, so the offer was also appealing to other parts of her body that weren't her brain.

"I don't know, Ezra," she said. "I have a boyfriend."

"As a friend helping out a friend," he said, not wanting to sound too pushy. "Nothing more than that. You'd have your own space, your own bathroom. I'll even throw in a couple shelves in the fridge."

"That wouldn't be fair to Jeremy."

"We'd just be roommates, Aria."

"Roommates who share a daughter."

"That was five years ago."

"And she wasn't delivered by a stork."

He took a deep breath and exhaled. "I want you and Rosie to be safe and happy."

Aria raised an eyebrow. Why was he suddenly so concerned about her wellbeing? "You only have to focus on Rosie," she advised. "I don't need two boyfriends worrying about me."

He gave her a small smile. "I'm sorry if I overstepped."

She returned his smile. "You didn't. I'll think about it."

"Good," he said. "Well, enjoy the rest of your day."

"You too," she said, standing on her toes to lightly press a kiss to his cheek. "The flowers are beautiful." If only she could really kiss him, if only she didn't have a brain to stop her...if only there were apple pie.

She returned to the beach, and as soon as the girls heard her footprints in the sand, their hushed voices stopped. Rosie was preoccupied looking for rocks to complete her sandcastle, unaware of what the adults were gossiping about..

"Do you guys want to take a dip in the water?" she asked them. "It's starting to get really warm."

"Why are you acting like that?" Hanna asked, ignoring her invitation.

"Like what?"

"Like you're 17 and you just snuck away for a lunchtime quickie with your English teacher," Spencer clarified, staring Aria down.

Aria rolled her eyes. Spencer was a couple weeks late with her observation. "I never so much as kissed him inside the school, Spence."

Spencer raised an eyebrow while Hanna tilted her head to the side. They didn't believe her, not about then, not about now. Long-term friendships were great for many things, including the fact they have become fluent in your body language and know when you're a few slips away from making a sibling for Rosie.

"That's not the point," Spencer said.

"We were talking about Rosie," she told them, which was kind of the truth. What did they think of her? That she'd run off and screw her ex in a porta-potty in broad daylight at a semi-crowded beach? She wasn't that desperate for some action.

Spencer looked away from Aria, her gaze landing on the flowers resting in the back of Tucker's stroller. Aria could see the wheels turning in her disturbingly observant best friend. "You slept with him, didn't you?"

"Why would you say that?"

"We haven't forgotten what you were like when you were secretly in love with our English teacher," Spencer noted. "You start mentioning him at least every five minutes."

"I don't do that," she denied. Did she really do that?

Hanna scoffed. "I asked for your advice on baby poop last week when you remembered some book Ezra recommended, that you insisted I check out," she reminded her. "And I don't even read!"

Aria plopped down onto the blanket and glared at them. "You're scary," she caved, a little weirded out by her friends' keen detective skills. "I know, it was impulsive, and unfair to Jeremy. But, I promise, it didn't feel wrong."

"But did it feel right?" Spencer wanted to know.

"It felt pretty good."

"It's supposed to feel good," Hanna added with a smirk.

Spencer dismissed Hanna's dirty remark. "It doesn't matter how good it feels, isn't he in a serious relationship?"

"Yeah, and isn't she about to pop out their baby?" Hanna added.

"She moved out and it's not his baby. Problem solved," Aria said, becoming irritated with their judgement. "I'm sweating. Rosie and I are going back in the water." It was possible that the sweat wasn't a result from the sun, but from their interrogation. She preferred to pretend that Lindsey was no longer in the equation.

"His baby or not, he was with her for three years," Spencer reminded her. "Did you ever consider that, maybe-"

"Spence, I love you, but this isn't any of your business." She jumped up from the blanket. "Rosie, do you want to practice swimming with Mommy?"

After a quick swim, Aria finally had a chance to hog little Tucker as long as she wanted to. She sat in a chair in the shade and fed the infant his bottle of formula, entranced by his baby blue eyes. When Rosie was a baby, feeding her child was one of the most peaceful moments of the day. She felt that same sense of peace with a baby that was not her own.

Wanting to be like her aunts who she practically idolized, Rosie stretched out between Hanna and Spencer on the beach blanket to fit in a little sunbathing. Following a few minutes of silence, Hanna sneakily took the opportunity to tickle the little girl under her armpits. Rosie immediately brought her arms down and rolled around in a fit of giggles. Hanna swept her body into her arms and propped her on her lap, then gave her precious niece a big squeeze. "Can Tucker and I live with you and mommy so we can play every day?" Hanna pleaded, embracing the little girl in her arms.

"We all know I'm Rosie's favorite aunt," Spencer teased from the other side of the blanket, still lying on her back with her eyes closed.

"Auntie Spencer and Auntie Hanna can live in my room forever," Rosie said, totally on board with this prospect. "And Tucker. I'll have a baby at Mommy's house, and a baby at Daddy's house."

Spencer opened one eye and shared a quick look with Aria, who was still seated in the chair behind the blanket. Aria wasn't sure how she was going to tell her daughter that she wasn't going to actually be a big sister, but it wasn't the time nor place to correct her. It would break her heart.

"And I will borrow all of your clothes and stuff, and you can play with my toys," Rosie continued, thinking this suggestion was actually a real possibility. She grabbed Hanna's hand, her eye catching the shiny ring on her finger. "Can I have your ring?" she asked, already trying to tug it off her hand.

Hanna laughed, allowing Rosie to play with the diamond. "No, you can't have this ring," she told her sadly. "It's a very special ring, and very expensive. I can give you a different ring. I have, like, hundreds of them."

Rosie pouted, but didn't stop trying to slide the ring from Hanna's finger. "Daddy said the same thing about the pretty ring I found in his room."

"What ring?" Aria asked mindlessly, still staring at the newborn in her arms.

Rosie held up Hanna's hand so her mother could see. "Like this!"

The peace of the moment shattered like a baseball through a glass window when she realized what Rosie meant. Spencer and Hanna looked at their friend sympathetically, but Aria avoided their gaze. She wasn't supposed to care. She was with Jeremy. She didn't fit into this equation.

Ezra was going to propose to Lindsey.

Aria was only a rebound.

She looked at her feet, then brushed the sand from her calves. She felt dirty.

Aria waited until Rosie fell asleep in the back of her car before she dialed Ezra's number and brought the phone to her ear. After two rings, Ezra picked up with an enthusiastic "Hello!"

"I can't move in with you," she told him immediately, before he was able to change her mind with his persuasive charm. She realized her directness seemed pretty rude, like the thought of living with him was the last thing she wanted. This wasn't the case.

He laughed, a surprise to Aria. "That was quick," he told her. "I thought you'd at least sleep on it."

"Sorry," she replied with genuine remorse in her voice. "It doesn't seem like a good idea, considering...everything."

Ezra didn't answer right away, as though he was trying to think of the right thing to say. He hesitated when he said, "If that's what you believe, I respect your decision. But the offer will be there if you change your mind."

"That's nice of you and I appreciate the offer."

"Did Ro fall asleep the second you buckled her in?"

"Yeah," she answered, grateful for the topic change. "You wore her out with that sandcastle. I think you get a little too into building those things."

"You haven't even seen my best work!" he told her defensively. "Today was fun. We should do it again before the summer ends."

"I'm looking forward to it," she said, and she meant it.

"Give her a kiss for me," he requested.

"I always do."

Hello.

So, if you're still reading my story, you probably hate me for having you wait so long. About four months ago, I started a new job as a preschool teacher, and I'm basically a walking zombie with zero energy left at the end of the day. I had been unemployed for awhile before I started that job, hence why I had so much time to write this story. BUT I'm really happy, happier than I've been in years. I want you to know that I thought about this story many, many, many times and opened this chapter constantly. Sometimes I want to write and write and write. And sometimes I don't have any motivation or drive or inspiration to write. And I've learned that's okay. Honestly, I'm not even that happy with this chapter, because I feel like I'm in a weird uncreative funk lately. Uncreative isn't even a word!

The person who motivated me to post this was the reader who asked me if I was okay, and that really touched me. Many people beg me to update (which is also totally okay,) but I was truly touched by the person who genuinely wanted to make sure if I was okay since I hadn't updated in so long. So, thank you to this person. It put a smile on my face. And yes, I'm okay!

Please review ! ! ! ! !