Title: One Time Too Many

Pairing: R. Castle and K. Beckett

Summary: Can Kate keep the green eyed monster at bay?

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle

Words: 2294

AN: Sorry that it has been so long since I last updated, it's been a crazy month, practical's, studies, work, and life in general have all been conspiring to keep me from this.

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KB POV

I had been hoping to be able to see Rick immediately, however, that just hadn't been a possibility. The visitation hours at the hospital were far stricter than I had ever encountered elsewhere, to say that it was a hindrance would be an understatement.

I so desperately wanted to see him, but no matter how much I threw my weight and badge around I just wasn't able to get into the room. I had managed to get a single glimpse of him for all but a second, but it was far too brief for my liking.

He had looked to be asleep, and his head was turned away from me, making it impossible to see his face. But what I could see of his body, looked battered and bruised.

I wanted to be by his side, to help him through the pain he was no doubt experiencing and his soon to be painful recovery. But I had a feeling that my help wouldn't be wanted by him. Thankfully I wouldn't have to indulge in this inane guessing game for much longer, as I was finally given permission to see him.

His condition had remained stable for long enough, and so he was now granted the freedom of having visitors.

Martha and Alexis had been allowed to see him during the last few days but only for a handful of minutes each time, to say that they were also frustrated with the visitation rule was an understatement. I had stayed at the loft the last few days, living out of a bag for all intents and purposes. I could see the toll that this was taking on the red heads. They were worried and missed Rick terribly.

Martha who was normally so very full of life, the very embodiment of young at heart, was listless in all her actions, the only time she seemed to be even a shadow of the woman I had once known, was when she was mothering Alexis. Being the proverbial shoulder to cry on for the young girl, Martha was many things, but she had never given anyone a reason to doubt the love that she held for her granddaughter.

Alexis was the apple in both her father and grandmothers eye, she even held a place in my normally stoic and unreachable heart.

Seeing her so worried and emotional, brought out a side that I had never known I had in me. I knew that I cared about the girl, I had never tried to hide that, it was far from a secret. And who could honestly blame me for adoring her, she had her father's playful demeanour and kind heart, while loving life just as much as Martha, however, she was also more logical than Rick, wise even in her young age.

Seeing her in this state brought out a motherly instinct in me, one that I never knew I really had. I wanted to sooth her, comfort her, and be the one to try and raise her spirits, although our relationship was on the mend it was without a doubt still more than a bit awkward at times. Our interaction with each other was strained at times, Alexis was holding back from me, when all I wanted to do was wrap her up in a bone crushing hug.

I wouldn't deny that it hurt, that her reluctance to seek me out for comfort and soothing stung, but I tried not to focus on that which was admittedly easier than I thought it would be, instead I found my thoughts shifting between Rick and Alexis. Martha could take care of herself, and if I so much as attempted to be the strong one with her, she would switch it around and I would find myself crying on her shoulder instead.

And I wasn't ready to break into a crying inconsolable mess just quite yet, I had to be strong, someone that others could depend on. I had to be strong for Alexis, even if she was still reluctant, and I had to be strong for Rick who would need all the help that he could get over his no doubt long healing and recovery period.

But I knew that my iron fist over my emotions was bound to slip soon, my stomach had been churning and nausea had steadily been nipping at the back of my throat since I had heard about his ill-fated accident. I had to release some of these pent up emotions, the problem was that I just wasn't sure how to do that exactly, I didn't want to bother Martha or Alexis they already had enough on their plates. And even though I considered them to be family, it hardly seemed like the time to release the torrent of mess that I was onto them.

There was really only one option available to me right now.

Dr Burke, he would be able to talk me down from this high rope that I found myself balancing on. Help me to ease the overwhelming feeling that was building in my chest.

I had never been one for a shrink before I met the man, even when I had first met him; I had still remained sceptical about the entire processes. But then one day, I just needed the quiet guidance that could be found from his noncommittal sounds and probing thought aspiring questions.

There was no doubt that he had helped me, that the time that I had spent in that office, either sitting or pacing around like a caged animal, had done me good. I had been able to feel and see the difference, and I knew that this time would be no different; he would be able to help me. Even if it was just to vent about what I was feeling and the situation I now found myself in.

Maybe I would even gain a new perspective on things, on this gut wrenching experience.

Or perhaps I was been too hopeful, perhaps I was hoping and expecting too much, and that my punishment for all the things I had ever done wrong was this.

I felt even worse now about what I had done after my shooting, baring Rick from seeing me and running away to lick my wounds in the middle of nowhere and nowhere in my father's cabin. Not letting anyone have contact with me, or see me, if he felt even a fraction of what I was now feeling, I would beg not only for his forgiveness for the rest of my natural life, but I would also try to make it up to him. Although I doubted that anything could make up for what I had done, or that enough pleading and apologies could erase what he had felt.

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RC POV

Days dragged by, most of the time I was drugged up to the gills, and so it passed by slowly in a trickle of foggy and clouded moments that I could barely recall. I tried to be as alert as I could when Mother and Alexis visited me, and even though it was only for a few moments, I still felt the effects of the drugs trying to pull me back into a mindless stupor.

I hated the feelings that they induced, even though they were thankfully taking away any pain that I felt, the feeling of a slow mind and even slower tongue was by far worse. Not being aware of my surroundings, or the passing time, even the staff that checked on me, made me feel vulnerable and weak.

All I wanted to do was go home and stay hidden away.

There was one pain that the drugs couldn't take away, and that was my heart ache, a physical pain that I felt in my longing for her.

I longed for Kate like I had never done after anything else ever before.

My heart ache had all but turned into a physical pain, the overwhelming emotions that she brought forth in me had taken on a physical manifestation, and it was a dull ache centred in my chest. Nothing overly painful or tear inducing, but a constant reminder of her, of the longing I felt to be with her again.

It weighed me down and played on my overly slow mind.

However, I wouldn't give into these feelings, into the longing I felt, not after everything that had happened. I wouldn't be able to survive another round of our typical knock out fights, the ache I felt was better, settled around my neck like a noose. Thankfully, it wasn't strangling and chocking me to death; it was just snug enough to remind me that it was there. That any sudden movements would chaff me raw.

And even though I felt these entire negative and seemingly overwhelming, near soul consuming, emotions, I couldn't help but to wish that she was here. That she was sitting at my bedside, holding my hand and telling me that everything was going to be alright. That I would soon be home, sleeping in my own bed, that my physical therapy would be challenging but that I was strong enough to endure it and that she would have a treat waiting for me after each painful round.

But that wouldn't be happening, it couldn't happen, not after everything that had already happened between us.

The door slid open quietly, and for a moment my heart soared thinking that all of my thoughts on her had magically summoned her to me somehow. But the moment I looked over, I couldn't help the disappointment that bubbled up in my chest, it wasn't her.

No matter how hard I tried to drill it into my mind that she just wouldn't be here, or to make my heart accept that we were done, or even trying to strengthen my soul against her siren like allure, I just couldn't help but to hope.

I didn't want it to be true; she was my soul mate, the only one that I wanted to ever be with. She was everything that I wanted, she was perfect to me, imperfections and complications included, even her numerous faults and flaws that so very often drove me to insanity due to frustration.

I shook of the disappointment as best as I could, trying to plaster on a smile for Athena. But it just didn't feel genuine, there was something lacking in it, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't feel it. There was no surge of heart-warming joy engulfing me from the inside out. After years of smiling at adoring fans I could manage to fake a smile, but doing it always made me feel guilty, like some sort of fraud or con artist. It cheapened the moment even if it was lacking in meaning by itself.

"Hoping it was Alexis?" Athena asked, smiling softly at me, thankfully she didn't wait for an answer. "I have some good news, your visiting hours are officially changed, and we no longer have to be so very strict. You healing well, and if you keep it up like this, you should be able to go home in a week."

"That would be nice." I replied quietly, not ready to get my hopes up just yet.

My injuries were serious, especially those to my leg, and I knew that even the slightest bit of a setback would no doubt prolong my stay in the hospital. Which was something that I did not want in the slightest, but it was out of my control; however, what I could do was control my emotions related to it. I felt so tightly wound, it seemed as if though everything was going wrong. There was only one silver lining in this entire situation and that was that Lucy was thankfully unharmed and seemed to be doing well. I had been worried about her but Mother and Alexis had informed me that she had made it out of the accident without even a scratch on her.

I was thankful for that; I wished that I had been just as lucky though, the better fantasy to entertain was one where there was no accident. Where there had been no situation that made me feel the need for space and to run so very fast from what was happening in my life. However, that was nothing more than wishful thinking and there was no reason to entertain such inane and hopeless thoughts.

All I had to do now was concentrate on the situation I found myself in, to try and better this situation, the circumstance and the causes were beyond my reach to alter. And as such I just simply had to accept them.

"How is your pain?" Athena asked, her caring nature shining through her professionalism.

"Its fine." I replied quietly, not meeting her eyes.

"Athena?-" I cried out in surprise not even a moment later.

She had swooped down and engulfed me in a hug, her right arm wrapped around my shoulders while her left hand ran up and down my back gently in a gesture of comfort. The heat of her body and the delicate scent of her perfume, made me relax into her embrace in a matter of seconds. It felt so very good, to just be held like this, to be soothed and comforted.

I turned my face into the crook of her neck, breathing heavily in deep shudders. My hands gripped at her upper arms desperately, the soft murmured words of comfort that she offered me in her gentle voice, relaxed me even further and I could feel the tension and confusion that had been consuming me moments before start to melt away.

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