Something always brings me back to you

It never takes too long

No matter what I say or do

I still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone

She had pushed Delphine away. She had purposely hurt her and made her leave. She didn't want to – God knows how much she absolutely hated doing that – but she couldn't stand seeing the woman she was falling for see her in such a state of disorder and abandon.

She hadn't wanted to do any of that, but she couldn't help it. She was hurt, she was sick, she was everything she had never hoped she'd ever be ever again. She was everything she had promised herself she'd never be again.

She was heartbroken. And all because of her own stupid mistakes.

The bus ride to her final destination was torture. She kept feeling like she was going to burst out crying any minute. It didn't help that the coat she was wearing was… well… that one. And to top it all off, there was a growing discomfort in her chest. She knew she had to cough, but she didn't want to hack her lungs out in front of all these people on the bus with her. So she kept her mouth shut until they finally got there.

The minute she stepped off the bus and coughed, she knew that there was something very wrong with her.

Her hand was stained with red.

-0-

She'd hurt her, badly. They'd both been hurt. That was just life. But she was sitting in a park bench and she was trying hard not to cough and rattle every bone in her body, and she was shivering a little, and she was hoping Delphine would pick up. She needed her to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Delphine," she whispered. Talking too loudly made her want to cough harder, so she tried her best not to speak too much.

"Cosima?!"

"I'm in Toronto, Leekie is here."

"I…yes. I know."

"That I was here?"

"No, that Ald-Professor Leekie is there."

She scoffed. Of course they were on first name basis.

"I'm coming back home soon. And when I get there I need you to be prepared."

"For what?"

She paused before she spoke, listening to the little leaves there were left in the trees rustle against the wind. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. Was she dying? Where some of these things the last things she would ever do?

"I'm sick, Delphine."

-0-

She was back in Minnesota within a few days. And it didn't take her long to crawl into her home again, crawl under bed covers and wait for Delphine to get there. She remembered distinctly drifting in and out of sleep before she finally felt somebody brush her hair out of her face and kiss her temple, waking her gently. She could barely open her eyes, but she hacked and heaved until she felt two arms scoop her up and gather her into a hug that she didn't know she wanted.

She opened her eyes, her heavy dead eyes, and saw a mesh of blonde hair and porcelain skin.

"Delphine…"

"Ma cherie," she answered, the hug getting slightly tighter, just the right amount of pressure on Cosima's waist as she ran a hand through her dreads, soothing the woman in her arms, in her protection.

"I'll do everything I can to help you, I promise."

"Delphine, I…I'm so sorry…"

She felt Delphine shake her head and turn her lips to the side of her face, kissing her on the cheek, imprinting herself back into Cosima's skin.

"Whatever you do, my love, I will always come back to you. I can't help it."

Cosima knew exactly what she meant.