Standing in the Rain

Chapter 4- Lost In Thought

After staring dumbly at Juvia's retreating figure for what seemed like forever, Gray finally came to his senses. He wanted to go after her but didn't know what he could say at the moment since his mind was completely blank, so instead he went to the guild to see if any of the girls knew anything.

As he walked, he reviewed his conversation with Juvia probably over one hundred times. He wasn't sure what he had done in order for her to come to the conclusions that she did, but he knew that she was in pain and it hurt. His heart was hurting. He couldn't figure out why he was having such a strong reaction, but the image of her tear-streaked face was haunting him.

Her voice was echoing in his head. "Juvia will always love Gray-sama."

She loves me?

He knew she had a thing for him; she never tried to hide it. But he had always pushed her feelings aside as an infatuation or a simple crush. He did this for his own benefit really; if her feelings were not serious he didn't need to worry about justifying them with a response.

When Gray arrived at the guild he walked straight to the bar where Lucy was sitting on a stool drinking a milkshake and talking to Mira. He figured he would ask them first since Juvia had been sitting and talking with them yesterday.

"Hey, guys did you notice anything weird about Juvia the last time you saw her?" he questioned quietly not wanting the rest of the guild to hear and start making fun of him.

Lucy looked over at him "Hey, Gray! No. I don't remember her acting any differently, and she didn't mention anything to us. Why, is something wrong?"

"Well I noticed that she was missing from the guild this morning, and it was raining really hard, so I thought there might be something wrong with her and went to check on her."

Mira and Lucy both looked like they were about to start freaking out over how cute it was or how he and Juvia should be a couple, so he shot them a look to shut them up and continued in a hushed tone.

"But when I finally found her I could tell she had been crying. I tried to figure out what was wrong, but she just told me that she was going to stop hanging all over me because she didn't want to be annoying and walked away without letting me say anything."

The knowing smiles quickly fell from their faces. A dark aura began to surround the take-over mage who looked like she was about to go into Satan Soul, and Gray backed away.

"Gray Fullbuster, what did you do!?"

"Nothing!" he answered immediately, trying to put more distance between Mira and himself.

"Then why was Juvia crying and saying you thought she was annoying?"

"That's what I am trying to figure out! I came to you guys first because I know Juvia was sitting over here for a while yesterday, and she was fine yesterday morning, so I figured something must have happened when she was with you."

"You know she was sitting here for a while?" Lucy asked mischievously. "So you were watching her?"

His face started to heat up. "No of course I wasn't watching her!" he defended. "I just happened to notice."

Now that he thought about it though, he had been just happening to notice where Juvia was most of the day every day since they returned from the Grand Magic Games. Had he been watching her? No of course not, he rationalized to himself. Juvia is just always around me; it makes sense that I knew where she was.

He groaned. Since this morning, troublesome thoughts had been swirling non-stop in his mind, and now his head was starting to hurt. He kept seeing images of Juvia, her long blue hair cascading down her back, her beautiful smile as she called out to him. Wait, beautiful smile? Did he think she was cute? Sure, but since when had he thought of Juvia as beautiful? Usually he didn't have such a hard time keeping cool and controlled. He wasn't overly emotional, and he never allowed himself to display deep feelings towards someone else beyond friendship. It was almost as if he had a layer of ice surrounding his heart that kept people from getting too close to him.

"You know, Gray there is nothing wrong with feeling something for Juvia" Lucy said as if she had somehow read his mind.

"What do you mean?" he asked, hoping he hadn't said that beautiful comment out loud.

"You are always defensive, and you try to deny that there is anything between the two of you, but it is obvious you are feeling distressed over this" Mirajane added sympathetically.

"Love is a beautiful bond that brings people closer together."

"L-l-love?!" he sputtered. No way. There is no way I love Juvia, is there?

Mirajane, sensing his discomfort, tried to help him out. As the (self-proclaimed) resident matchmaker at Fairy Tail, she would make sure to get those two together. It was obvious to her that the two held feelings for one another; Gray was just too dense and scared to admit it.

"Yes, you seem really worried about her, and you have always taken great care to protect her. More importantly, did you say anything to Juvia or about her yesterday?" She asked.

"No, I didn't talk to her after the morning when she was flooding the guild with tears because I had been away on a mission for too long. Although…there was that one point in the afternoon…" he trailed off.

"What one point in the afternoon?" Mirajane was turning into a demon again.

"Well a whole bunch of the people from the guild had surrounded me and were nagging me about Juvia . Of course I denied that we were together, but when they kept pressing I…"

"You what?" Lucy questioned, impatiently.

Then it dawned on him, and he remembered what he yelled out yesterday.

"I kind of said that I would never be with Juvia and agreed that her antics were weird and a little annoying," he finished quietly.

"What? Why did you do that?" Mirajane fumed. She was getting scarier by the second, and Gray started backing away from the bar counter again.

"Well I just wanted them to leave me alone about it. I was hoping they would move on to talk about something else" he answered sheepishly.

"Honestly, Gray. No wonder she said she would leave you alone. You probably really hurt her feelings. Sure she can be a little over the top, but I think that she really likes you and just doesn't know how else to show it," Lucy scolded.

"Yes, I'm sure you are going to apologize to her tomorrow and make this situation all better right?" Mira asked with a smile that said If you don't, I will kill you.

"Y-yes" he squeaked out. He was going to apologize anyway, but Mira was damn scary.

Lucy rubbed his back, "Don't worry Gray, I'm sure it will all work out, and maybe after this you and Juvia can be a real couple!" she said happily.

He rolled his eyes. He wanted to apologize, of course, because a sad Juvia meant an unhappy Gray, but he still didn't know if he even liked Juvia, much less if he wanted to be in a relationship with her.

Meanwhile, a pink-haired dragon slayer, who had been attempting to start a fight with Gajeel ever since Gray had left to look for Juvia, stopped what he was doing and looked over to the bar. Lucy had been talking with Gray for a while and now she was rubbing his back. He didn't know why, but he was getting this strange feeling in his chest.

"Hey, Ice Bastard, fight me!" he yelled as he walked across the guild.

"Not now Natsu" Lucy said sternly motioning towards Gray who was lost in thought.

"What's wrong? Afraid you're gonna lose?"

Gray just ignored Natsu and kept trying to make sense of his feelings for Juvia. Lucy was staring at him sympathetically.

"C'mon Lucy!" Natsu grabbed her arm and glared at Gray. "Let's go home for the day, it's boring here."

"Eh?" Lucy looked down at the hand on her arm but was dragged out of her seat by Natsu before she could react.

"Oh! So you two go home together to the same house?" Mira asked. Before Lucy had the chance to answer, Natsu had already pulled her out of the guild.

"You could go easier on him, ya know? He's having a hard time with Juvia" Lucy said as she walked, balancing herself on the ledge next to the river.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Natsu asked walking along side her.

"Wouldn't you be worried if someone you cared about was sad or had something bad happen to them?" she asked him.

"Oh, you mean like you, Lucy?" he asked looking up at her and smiling.

Lucy face turned into a tomato. "S-sure" she managed. Does he know what he's saying? The fact that Natsu thought of her first as one of his important people made her feel a little giddy inside, but she tried to hide it. Natsu just kept walking with his hands behind his head as if he had said the most natural thing in the world, completely oblivious to the effect his comment had on her.

"I guess if it's like that I feel a little bad for ice breath," he mumbled, "but just a little".

Lucy smiled. She knew that even though they fought a lot, Gray and Natsu really cared about each other.

Natsu really is dense she thought to herself. He always says comments that make it seem like he cares about me as more than a friend, but I'm pretty sure he isn't capable of those kinds of feelings. He sees everyone as a nakama.

As she was thinking, she lost her concentration and fell into the river. Natsu was quick to jump in after her but just got motion sickness from the waves and had to be saved himself. Lucy grabbed him and swam over to the edge. She pushed him up and then tried to climb up herself. When she attempted to use her one foot against the wall to push the rest of her body up she felt immense pain and realized she must have sprained her ankle. Natsu grabbed her arms and pulled her out.

"Lucy, you are really weird to randomly fall into the river like that."

"Don't call me weird!" she whined at him. "Anyway, thanks for trying to help me."

"Of course, I'm always going to protect you" Natsu said seriously.

This elicited another blush from Lucy causing Natsu to place his hand on her forehead.

"Are you ok, Lucy? You're turning all red."

"I'm fine, Nastu. I'm just going to go home now" she said as she stumbled to get up. Thank Mavis this guy's an idiot, she smiled to herself, but he's a lovable idiot.

"Lucy, smiling like that is scary" Natsu said. She hit him on the arm and tried to walk away angrily, but her sprained ankle caused her to limp.

He ran over to her and picked her up.

"What are you doing? Put me down I can walk myself!"

"No you can't, you hurt yourself. I'll just carry you to your apartment."

When Natsu finally got there, he jumped up and brought Lucy into her apartment through the window.

"Use the door!" she yelled as he placed her on the bed and then went into the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" Lucy called to him.

"I'm going to make some food for us since you hurt your foot" he said leaning against the kitchen entrance.

Can he even cook? she thought to herself. She couldn't tell him no though because he was smiling with so much excitement.

"Ok" she gave in and waited to see what Natsu could cook.

Two smoke alarms later, Natsu presented Lucy with something black that she couldn't identify on a plate.

"Here's dinner!" he smiled so wide he was barring his fangs at her.

Do I really have to eat this? she thought before looking up at his hope-filled eyes. Crap. I can't say no to eating it with that face he is giving me. Then she thought of an idea.

"Natsu? Where's Happy? Did you just leave him at the guild earlier without even telling him you would be gone?"

Natsu's jaw dropped. "Oh no! Happyyy!" He wailed dramatically running in circles. "I'm coming for you!"

He turned to run out of the door but then stopped and looked at Lucy.

"If your leg is feeling better let's go on a job tomorrow ok?"

"Ok! Maybe I can ask Gray and Erza if they want to come to!"

She didn't see the flicker of disappointment in his eyes at that statement before he smiled back at her. "Yosh, I'm all fired up!" he yelled before speeding off.

Gray had walked home after his conversation with Lucy and Mira. He decided that as soon as Juvia came into the guild in the morning he would apologize to her and make it clear that he did not think she was annoying or a bother.

To be honest, he had actually grown to like and expect her homemade bentos and special words of encouragement; he just didn't want to admit to anyone else, especially not himself. He kept thinking about what Lucy said to him. It was true that he always saw love as an unnecessary part of his life. He had blocked his heart off after having so many people he cared about taken away from him. First, his village was attacked by the demon Deliora and he lost his family and everyone he cared for at one time. Then when Ur took him in and taught him ice magic, he had begun to love her too, though he wouldn't admit it because he was too consumed with revenge, and in the end she died by the same demon that killed his parents. Every person he had loved had died, and it had caused him so much pain that he decided to never let people have that kind of effect on him again. Ever since Juvia had come around though, he had felt a certain spark within himself. It wasn't immediate. It just grew overtime without him even really noticing it.

When Laxus had forced the guild members to fight one another, he heard how Juvia had attacked a lacrima and injured herself so Cana could move on from the barrier and had felt inspired and proud. When they were in Edolas, he kept thinking of how he had to save Juvia and how he couldn't let her be killed, even though there were many other people who were in danger besides her. On Tenrou Island, he had been outraged when he saw her injured and unconscious, even more so than he usually would be when seeing a nakama in danger. In Crocus, he had agreed to go out to lunch with her when he was asked "because he was hungry" even though he knew it was a date and had been pissed when Lyon interrupted and tried to take Juvia away. He had even accidentally shouted that Juvia was his.

Usually he would just push these emotions aside after the incident was over and lock the memory of them away, but they came to the forefront during the Grand Magic Games when Erza confronted him about Juvia's feelings and his own. He hadn't known what to say. He knew she was right. Juvia deserved an answer, but he had been conflicted because he didn't want to tell her that he felt nothing for her, but he also didn't want to say that he liked her when he was purposely pushing those feelings aside and diminishing their value. Then he had performed a unison raid with Juvia to defeat Lyon and Chelia, and their magic had combined so perfectly it felt almost natural. Afterwards their hands were still intertwined, and he had asked Juvia why she didn't let go. Lying in his bed now thinking about it though, a better question would be why didn't he let go? Sure her grip was strong, but not strong enough that he couldn't get out of it. The real reason he hadn't let go, was because he liked the way her hand felt in his own. Then when the dragons had attacked he had been so concerned for her safety, but as soon as the situation was over he tried to forget any moments he had with her and any connection he had felt.

Gray rubbed his temples and sighed. Why was this so hard for him? Thinking about the past he could obviously tell that Juvia was important to him. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that Juvia has been holding a special place in his heart. She had been slowly melting the ice barrier that kept him from getting close to others, and he was the one who was being stupid for not realizing that he cared about her.

His eyes widened at this realization. He. Cared. About. Juvia. He had finally admitted it to himself. A smile grew on his face. Tomorrow he would definitely try to explain everything to her before it was too late and she gave up on him.