AN: I've actually written this one-shot over the course of several weeks. It's what I jumped to when I was having trouble with some of my other stories. I just went through and did some editing and completed it. I think it's ready to be published. It was fun to write.

This is also my first attempt for the 50_shinobi theme challenge.

This is a one-shot, but I'm considering posting a sequel – it may end up a small series of one-shots if you're interested. Please, let me know what you think.

Story: Lemon Juice

Author: MizukiYukiko

Rated: T

Pairing: ItachiXSakura

Summary: "Do you realize what you're asking, Sasuke?" Sakura retorted with a snort. "You want me to add lemon juice and bleach to your brother's shampoo in order to dye his hair blond. I don't care how much honor he claims to have. Itachi-san would kill me if he ever found out."

Notes: 50_shinobi theme: 41 Rivals; Non-massacre AU; And reviews are loved, appreciated, and read with satisfaction. Thank you for reading!

Lemon Juice

"No." Is he insane? She thought to herself as she strode quickly down the hospital hallways. Clip boards were being organized by knowing fingers as she noted her patients for the day and their ailments and injuries. The nurses never arranged them in a particular order – not even bothering to put them in chronological order by the time she was seeing her patients. When she had been a nurse while apprenticing under Tsunade, she had done all of that and more for the medics. However, she was not a nurse anymore. At the ripe age of seventeen (and a half), Haruno Sakura was a full-fledged medic as well as a jounin.

Sighing with exasperation, she realized she had a surgery to do later. Namake Taro, her sixty-year-old patient, had cancer if she remembered correctly. The chemo had gone well and she just needed to remove what was left of the now-benign tumor. Her mind automatically raced through the procedure, noting what she would need in order to complete the surgery successfully. She had to remember to send a message to the nurses' station in order to procure the right amount of help for the operation. The sound of barely-audible footsteps falling in pace with hers snapped her out of her internal thoughts.

To Sakura's consternation, Sasuke was still following her, keeping up easily in her hurried pace. He had approached her in her office – more like a closet with a window, really – and asked her a ludicrous favor. Apparently, her swift denial earlier hadn't been enough to deter the ever determined Uchiha.

"Sakura," he intoned with a commanding voice.

"No. You're out of your damn mind if you think I'm going to do that," she replied resolutely. She was cursing all Uchiha men at that particular moment because Sasuke was only asking her to do this ridiculous task because of another Uchiha man – the only person in the entire world who could really ruffle Sasuke's feathers. "This is so beyond immature, Sasuke."

"He'll know it's me if I do it. If he figures out it's you, he can't do anything to hurt you. You're a girl, and he has too much honor to kill you. However, he wouldn't hesitate to kill me," Sasuke continued to explain. Never mind that he was seventeen, a jounin, and trained in the arts of one of the sannin. No, the spawn of Satan had gone too far this time, and Sasuke wanted revenge. Sakura could call it immature all she wanted, but she didn't know what it felt like to have an older brother who hated her and do everything to make her life miserable. He did.

"Do you realize what you're asking, Sasuke?" Sakura retorted with a snort. "You want me to add lemon juice and bleach to your brother's shampoo in order to dye his hair blond. I don't care how much honor he claims to have. Itachi-san would kill me if he ever found out."

They were approaching her destination, and Sakura began to rifle through her files to find the appropriate patient for this room. Surely, that would shut Sasuke up. The door to the exam room was cracked open, and Sakura knocked on it lightly.

"Sakura-"Sasuke continued.

"Sasuke, I'm in the middle of work," Sakura chastised. She opened the door slightly and then slipped into the door. Without missing a step, she turned to face him. "Now, we should finish this conversation later," she continued, opening the door to reveal the patient inside the room to Sasuke. Two sets of obsidian eyes – one angry, one amused – clashed. "Or do you really want to continue?"

Sasuke glared at his brother, who was propped up on the examination table lazily, his shirt already off in preparation for the exam. "Ice Prick," he hissed, glaring at his brother while murderous intent rolled off of him in waves. That happened to be the current nick-name that applied to his brother. It changed often. Last week, it was Douchebag. The month before that, it was Satan's Spawn. The elder Uchiha just allowed his perfectly-shaped eyebrow to arch in amusement.

"Hello Sasuke," Itachi replied lazily, not breaking his eye contact. The elder Uchiha's lips were turned into a smug, arrogant smirk, and his entire presence exuded a pompous arrogance. What was worse about it was the Uchiha Itachi had a right to be arrogant.

At the age of twenty-two, he had been an ANBU captain for nearly ten years – one of the longest stints in ANBU to date. Additionally, he was in charge of all ANBU black-ops squads. Under the previous Hokage, the ANBU reported directly to the Hokage for their missions. However, Tsunade did not have the patience or the time to worry about ANBU, so she gave the reigns to Itachi, who was now one of her most trusted advisors. This also put him in close proximity to Sakura quite often. While Itachi was the representative for the ANBU faction of Konoha shinobi, Sakura was the representative for the medic faction.

Once the old council had been abolished, Tsunade calling them old stiffs and bringing them up on war crimes (they had tried to have the entire Uchiha clan executed once – it had been news about two years prior when the rumors were confirmed), she had selected a few choice individuals to represent and lead the shinobi forces. Hinata was in charge of the genin and their sensei, Shikamaru was in charge of the chunin (how troublesome, he had muttered when he had been given the position – most everyone else seeing it as an immense honor), Neji, the jounin, and Itachi, the ANBU. Sakura had taken over the field medic division. There were others, but they were the core group of people who were now in charge of the shinobi forces. All Tsunade had to do, to her complete satisfaction, was approving the mission assignments and drinking her sake. Of course, there was more to being the Hokage, but it was a large work-load off of the Godaime.

This all meant that Sakura saw Uchiha Itachi at least once, if not more, a week for their meetings. Usually, the conferences were held twice a week. So the fact that Sasuke wanted Sakura to help in this stupid prank-war he had waged with his brother was completely out of the question.

Sakura rolled her eyes at the immaturity level of the two. Weren't they supposed to be two of the greatest prodigies Konoha had to offer? And there were battling it out in the most immature fashion they could.

"Naruto and I will see you for ramen at five," Sakura stated evenly. Sasuke nodded curtly at her before spinning on his heal and stomping down the hallway, heading out of the hospital. Sakura sighed in exasperation.

"I apologize if my brother was testing your patience, Haruno-san," Itachi said languidly. He straightened up a bit when she approached him. Twice a year, all ANBU operatives were required to undergo a health check. It was mostly basic information that needed to be cataloged. However, they took quite a bit of time seeing how many operatives there were. That would be what Sakura was doing for the first half of her day, and she was lucky (if one could call it that) enough to end up with the captains this morning. She always examined the captains for she was the most talented medic, and they were the most important patients. At least, that was what Tsunade had told her when she first began to enforce this rule. Too many ANBU were dying from untreated wounds because they were too proud to go to the hospital after missions, and they would be found in their homes too late.

However, due to his refusal – because of his stupid pride – to go to the hospital, Itachi had been ordered by the Godaime to be examined after every one of his missions.

Sakura's eyebrow twitched and her jaw ticked in annoyance. Usually, the older of the Uchiha brothers intimidated her greatly. His reputation preceded him. The fine texture of his milky white skin only emphasized the dark orbs that sat in his perfectly proportioned, almost feminine face. Dark, silky raven locks fell down his back to be pooled into a ponytail at the base of his neck. Only his bangs escaped to frame his intense, gorgeous face.

However, his nearly flawless appearance did not detract from his down-right fierceness that intimidated Sakura to no end. Not that she would ever tell him that, but she was sure he knew. How could you be Uchiha Itachi and not know that you were frightening to anybody who was less skilled than you – which was almost everybody. Only the Godaime spoke to him without a hint of respect, his arrogance often grating her nerves.

Sakura mused that was perhaps why Sasuke was retaliating against his brother by trying to out-prank him. It was very unlikely that the younger Uchiha would ever surpass his older brother in terms of skills. And that thought was just down-right frightening because Sasuke was strong. Not Neji strong, not Kakashi strong, but beyond that. Sannin strong. There were only a few others that could put him in his place – the Godaime, Naruto, Sakura (She didn't spend four years training with a sannin to be considered weak, ne? She could hold her own against her teammates), and Itachi.

So the fact that Itachi was stronger than all of them – with the exception of the Hokage – was intimidating as all hell…usually. Right now, though, Sakura was thoroughly annoyed and wanted nothing more than to clobber him upside the head for inadvertently involving her in this mess. Because, now that Sasuke had asked, she was involved. You see, Sakura owed Sasuke a favor, a big favor, and she would have to repay it. She knew that Sasuke would pull that card at dinner tonight, and she was just denying and avoiding the inevitable.

Sakura sighed in exasperation, blatantly, in front of Itachi as she made her way to him. "You took naked pictures of him after he got out of the shower and gave them to his fan-girls?" Sakura hissed.

"No," Itachi replied; the amusement in his voice was palpable, "I took half-naked pictures of him – he was wearing a towel – after he got out of the shower, and sold them to his fan-girls."

"This is just getting ridiculous," Sakura retorted while trying to bite down the laughter that had instantly bubbled within her. The man was an evil mastermind. She pressed her hands to his chest and ran her diagnostic chakra through him, making sure he wasn't seriously injured anywhere. He was one of the reasons why they had to do these check-ups in the first place.

One night, after a mission, he had stumbled into his room bleeding to death, not bothering to wake anybody up. If Sakura hadn't been spending the night at the house with Naruto and Sasuke, he would have died. Luckily, Sakura had sensed his presence, and had decided to go get a file from him that she needed. When he hadn't answered the door after her persistent knocking, she broke in because she was growing worried. And she had been worried for a damn good reason. He was hunched over, on his bed, only keeping his intestines inside his body with his bare, unwashed, dirty hands. Sakura's mind had instantly gone through the list of deadly infections that could be hidden within his hands that were in direct contact with his organs.

Now, the Uchiha was on the long list of shinobi required to go to the hospital after every mission – along with Kakashi, Sasuke, Naruto, Neji…the list went on and on. Not just every six months like they were supposed to, but every single mission. This also meant that Sakura saw more of him since she was the medic in charge of all ANBU captains, and she had never realized how many missions Itachi took. He was sitting in her exam room at least twice a week now. Stupid, arrogant, prideful boys.

"Sasuke filled all of my practice dummies with a green slime," Itachi explained nonchalantly, "And rigged them with explosives. After a kunai hit one of the tags, the green slime detonated and it was very difficult to remove from my clothes and hair. I was merely paying him back."

Sakura moved back once again, sighing. "I know, he told me," she replied. "I believe that was in retaliation to the prank you pulled on him the week before, ne? Didn't you doctor photos of gay porn so his and Naruto's faces were on them, and then plaster them all over his room?"

The slightest twitch in Itachi's left cheek told her that she was right, and he was still having a good internal laugh about it. "He deserved that as well," was the cool response she had received.

Yes, that prank had been a direct result of Sasuke's first insult that had begun this horrible war. You see, Itachi had been on a date, and Uchiha Itachi did not date – so the fact that the twenty-two-year-old ANBU captain had deemed a woman worth his time was a very, very big deal. Sasuke had seen his brother with a young woman, laughed to himself, but tried to ignore the duo. Sakura had been there, along with Naruto, Sai, and Kakashi. Team Seven had been out to dinner at the same restaurant that Itachi had taken his date to.

However, Itachi never let the opportunity to piss his little brother off slide. So, Itachi, being the ever-so-troublesome brother he was, decided to poke the slumbering bear. He had begun to jeer Sasuke on about something, Sakura couldn't remember what, but Sasuke was doing well at ignoring him. However Sasuke was known to have a short temper, and eventually he lost it.

One comment, one tactless comment, had started all of this. Sasuke had taken Itachi's Uchiha pride and shoved it in his face…

…by insulting the size of a certain exclusively-male extremity…

A certain extremity that was often the pride and joy to most men. Itachi's date had giggled, Sasuke smirked, Naruto had laughed, Sai looked confused, Kakashi read his book, but Sakura blanched. She knew that something bad was coming. In a way, the older Uchiha had been asking for it. He had to know that one day Sasuke would just explode – you could only expect his reverence for his older brother to hold out for so long.

Itachi and his date had left – the woman was never seen by the side of the elder Uchiha again – and Sasuke never looked so proud. That look was wiped clear off of his face when he returned from a mission to find naked (doctored) photos of him and Naruto covering his entire room.

Up until this point, Sakura had found the whole thing childish, immature, and a bit amusing. Now, though, Sasuke was trying to involve her. But she knew better.

She ran her hands through her pink locks, "You're good to go, Uchiha-san."

"You will be over tonight?" Itachi asked as he pulled his shirt back on.

Sakura smiled. It was Thursday, and Thursdays were Team Seven's 'sleepover' night. Naruto and Sasuke never called it that, and Sakura only ever did to annoy her two teammates. For the past three years, every Thursday, Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke would crash at somebodies house, eat junk food, and watch movies. It was one of the few times they turned their ninja switches off in order to be normal teenagers. This time, it was Sasuke's turn to host.

"Yes, I will," Sakura replied. She wrote something down on her clipboard, gave him a nod, and left the room.

X

"I hate you," she muttered. She brushed her freshly-showered hair out of her eyes; clad only in short-shorts and an overly-large shirt with the Uchiha fan emblazoned proudly on the back. Sakura's entire night-wardrobe consisted of her team's old clothing that they no longer wore.

"Hn," he replied as he flicked a small tube that was held delicately in his fingers. The bleach began to mix with the lemon juice – just enough to stain his brother's hair an unsightly color of blond.

"I'm not doing this," she replied resolutely, walking over to Sasuke's bed, and falling on it unceremoniously. It was early in the evening – about eight – but she was tired. Work was rough, the surgery went longer than it should have, and Sakura wanted to watch a damn movie, eat popcorn, and fall asleep cuddled next to her favorite boys in the entire world. However, she was alone with Sasuke right now, and his grim determination was always painfully persuasive. Naruto had left after dinner, saying he was going to go visit Hinata since she had just returned from a mission, and he would join them later. Sasuke had then stated the line that Sakura had been dreading the entire night, but it was one she knew she was going to hear: 'You owe, me Sakura.'

And that was it. She had to do it; even though it surely meant the end of her short seventeen-and-a-half years of life.

"Yes, you are," Sasuke replied matter-of-factly, dropping the small glass vial on her stomach. "Go ask to borrow something from his bathroom, he won't bother getting up to get it, and then spill the vial into his shampoo. Shake it a few times. It won't be that hard – you've completed harder missions."

"This isn't a mission and this is Uchiha Itachi, Sasuke. You're trying to get me killed," Sakura huffed back in exaggeration. "He's going to realize that something's in his shampoo! He's a top ninja for Kami's sake!"

"He's not going to kill you," Sasuke replied. "You're being annoying. And dramatic. The shampoo he uses is already lemon scented, so he will not know anything is different. That will mask the smell of the bleach."

Sakura sighed heavily and sat up. She was just delaying the inevitable at this point. Sasuke had an answer for every one of her protests, and she wasn't getting out of this. "You do realize I see him," she retorted. "Like every week, at least once."

"Hn. Now, go," he commanded, yanking her off his bed, shoving her into the hallway, and closing the door behind her with a deafening click. Her mind blanked for a moment. She couldn't do this. What if he caught her? What if he tried to kill her? Maybe he would take pity on her and make it quick. This was Uchiha Itachi. He could kill anyone, except maybe the Hokage, right?

Sakura sighed and shoved the small vial into the pocket of her shorts. Light footsteps padded down the hall, up the stairs, down two more halls, and one sharp left to Itachi's quarters. He liked his privacy, apparently. Her heart was thrumming obnoxiously hard against her chest. Surely, he'd already sensed her presence. She let out an even breath to calm her nerves. Just think of this as a mission, Haruno. She thought to herself silently. Apparently, that was what she needed because her heartbeat slowed a bit and her fingers stopped trembling.

After a moment, she raised her hand, and knocked lightly on the door.

"Haruno-san," Itachi greeted evenly from the other side.

Sakura creaked the door open a bit, and stuck her head in. Itachi was lying on the bed, back against the headboard, with a book in his hands. Sakura felt her mouth go dry. Her nerves were coming back in full force, but she gulped them down. Slowly, she opened the door to reveal her full person to him, and stepped into the room a little warily. His eyes met hers, and then…they ran up and down her body. It was quick – almost imperceptible – but Uchiha Itachi had just eyed her. She felt her jaw tick in annoyance – the way that it did any time a man looked at her like a piece of meat.

"Uchiha-san," she began, but the words came out a little strained. She wasn't sure of what to say.

'Go ask to borrow something from his bathroom…'

"I…uh…just showered," she blurted awkwardly. Instantly, she was cursing herself.

He eyed her curiously, his mouth twitching slightly at the end, indicating he was either amused or annoyed. "I can see that," he intoned quietly.

Quick, Sakura, think. What can you borrow? "And Sasuke is out of…" she trailed. Then it hit her. It wasn't the best excuse, but it was the only one she could think of at the moment. "Q-tips," she finished. Itachi's eyebrow arched. "And there isn't any in the supply closet in the hall…and your mother is out to dinner with your father…and you were the only one…"

Itachi nodded his head in understanding, ending her nervous tangent.

'…he won't bother getting up to get it…'

"They are in the linen closet in my bathroom," he replied evenly, nodding his head towards the bathroom door. Sakura gave him a weak, shaky smile and walked over to the bathroom quickly. Her legs were itching for her to run and get the hell out of that room, but she forced them to remain calm, along with every other part of her being. Itachi's intense gaze was boring into her back – she could feel it.

When she entered the large bathroom (it was practically the size of her own bedroom!) she headed for the shower instantly. Luckily, the curtain was drawn open so she did not need to make any more noise than necessary. Itachi was a ninja, and he would hear her if she pulled the curtain to his shower back. The lemon-scented shampoo bottle was on the ledge to her left. She grabbed it. In a frenzy, she unscrewed the cap quickly. Lemon aroma wafted to her nose instantly, and she cringed. Pulling the vial that contained lemon juice and bleach, she silently unscrewed the lid to that.

Her nerves grated against her skin, and she bit her lip nervously. She took a shaky breath. Maybe she would have dango tomorrow for breakfast. It sounded crazy, but she would want her last meal to be something sweet. She loved sweets.

Stupid Sasuke. Stupid Itachi. Stupid Uchiha men and their stupid pride and their stupid war and their stupid unwillingness to lose. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

What did she do now?

'…and then spill the vial into his shampoo...'

So she did.

'…Shake it a few times…'

So she did.

The small amount of lemon juice and bleach dissipated into the shampoo. She waited a moment and then sniffed the shampoo. Rubbing a tad between her fingers, she could not discern any difference in texture, either.

Closing the cap quickly, she deposited the empty vial back into her pocket and placed the shampoo bottle in the exact position as where she had found it. The linen closet door was open – much to her relief – and was right next to the shower. A small bowl of Q-tips was on the third shelf. She grabbed two and went to exit the bathroom.

Itachi was still on his bed. He looked up at her as she exited. Giving him a small smile and a curt nod, she walked out of the room.

'…It won't be that hard…'

Overall, the ordeal had taken less than a minute – most of that time being spent talking to the Uchiha. Her time in the bathroom was no more than twenty, maybe thirty, seconds.

'…you've completed harder missions…'

The sound of his door clicking behind her was all she needed to exhale the breath she had been holding the entire time – a breath she wasn't aware of. She did run back downstairs to Sasuke's room. Naruto had arrived and was already munching on popcorn.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her.

Sakura gave him a weak smile, "The mission was a success."

He smirked.

Stupid Uchiha's and their stupid smirks.

"I hate you."

His smirk got bigger.

X

Sakura left the Uchiha house early the next morning. Why? Because she heard Itachi's shower go on, that's why, and she did not want to be there when he got out. Slowly, she pushed Sasuke and Naruto off of her – they always ended up in a tangled mess when they had their 'sleepovers' – and got dressed. Pinning a note to Sasuke's shirt (Going to train – don't follow me. I still hate you), she jumped out of the window silently.

The sun had barely risen above the treetops by the time she got to training grounds. Early morning training sessions were necessary for her. If she didn't relieve her stress somehow, she was sure she would go insane from Naruto and Sasuke, or the hospital, or her shishou, or the stupid shinobi who ended up on her examination table, or the medics under her command. All in all, Sakura needed a stress reliever, and training was the way she did it.

Her black leather gloves cracked happily in anticipation as she slipped them on and flexed her fingers. Instantly, her fist connected with the ground and it erupted beneath her. She was there for hours – four, to be exact. The trees that had once been resting peacefully in the cool autumn air now lay scattered, discarded over the training ground. The earth was in hundreds of pieces, and there was little-to-no space left unturned. Sakura was laying on one of these small spaces, panting heavily.

Kami, this feels good. She decided to herself.

"S-s-sakura?" she heard.

Sakura smiled and pulled herself up into a sitting position. "Morning Hinata!" she called to the woman standing at the edge of the training grounds. Since the Hyuuga was one of Sakura's best friends, Sakura rarely noticed when she approached. She was just one of those presences that was always around, and Sakura was accustomed to her – and therefore, not deemed a threat. Now, Sakura mused to herself, she would have to make sure she heightened her senses in regards to a certain long-haired Uchiha who was surely going to be out for blood – her blood, and Sasuke's.

"Good morning, Sakura," Hinata replied warily. "Did your training go well?"

Sakura gave the Hyuuga a mischievous grin. "How does it look?"

"I think the Hokage will have to enlist the help of genin to get the training ground back to normal," Hinata replied from her place on the edge of the ground. She gave her pink-haired friend a small smile, "Would you like to come to the market with me, Sakura? I need groceries."

Sakura jumped up. She needed to do some grocery shopping as well. Her tiny little apartment was running out of food – thanks to the male members of her team. Naruto was one thing – she knew he ate a lot. However, it would surprise most people to know that Sasuke, Kakashi, and Sai could all shovel a barrel of food into their mouths and still as for seconds. Sakura beamed at the quiet girl in front of her, "Sure, Hinata! I need food too!"

The walk to the market was filled with idle chit chat, and their conversation topics ranged between: Naruto, their advisor's meeting at three o'clock (Sakura was not looking forward to that since a certain now-blond haired Uchiha would be present), Naruto's crush on Hinata (which the young heiress denied vehemently), the new medical technique Sakura was dying to try, Hinata's crush on Naruto, something annoying Neji did just to piss off Hinata, the plans for revenge against the aforementioned Hyuuga, and ramen – which led to another conversation about Naruto.

Sakura and Hinata had grown close when they were both put onto Tsunade's advisor panel. Although all of the kunoichi of the Konoha Twelve were all close, Sakura and Hinata held a special bond because they were both a little more modest than their other two counterparts. Simply put, they just related to each other a little better. It also didn't hurt that Sakura had previously dated Neji – which also put the two kunoichi in close quarters on a regular basis. It was natural that since they spent so much time together, that they would grow close.

That's why, as they entered the market place and began picking out all the food they needed, Sakura told Hinata about what she did last night.

"Oh, Sakura," Hinata whispered quietly so no one else could hear, "Uchiha-san is not going to be happy with you."

Sakura shrugged nervously, "I'm hoping he thinks Sasuke did it while he was on his last mission or something. He just got back yesterday afternoon."

"That's unlikely," Hinata replied with a nervous chuckle as she ordered a carton of tofu, "He's not the head of ANBU for nothing."

Sakura sighed, her shoulders slouching. "You're right," she conceded dejectedly. "I'm screwed."

"With a capital S," Hinata chuckled. "What did Sasuke do for you that you owed him such a big favor?"

Sakura bit her lip nervously and sighed once again, "Well, you see…"

X

Three Months Earlier:

"Sasuke, I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend," Sakura stated concretely, staring at the Uchiha directly in the eye. He was sitting on the earth at training ground 3, sharpening his weapons in preparation for the upcoming training session.

His onyx orbs widened slightly before he looked back down at his kunai that he had been sharpening. "No," he stated blankly.

Sakura crossed her arms over her chest, growing more indignant by the moment. "Sasuke, I need your help. I'm your teammate and your best friend and I've beaten the shit out of half of your fan-girls for you."

Sasuke rolled his eyes imperceptivity. "Why?" he asked blandly.

He noticed, as he looked up at her, the smallest hint of pink dusting the bridge of her nose and her cheeks. Sakura grumbled something to herself before she answered, "My mother's family is coming into town." The arched eyebrow that was his response told her to explain why the hell that was important. Sakura cringed, "Every time they come into town, they ask why I don't have a boyfriend. Every. Damn. Time. You see, they aren't ninja like us. They don't understand the commitments I have, and I'm too fricken tired of explaining that because they just scoff at me. They tell me it's because I cut my hair short, and have bitten all my nails off, and have an attitude and a bad temper, and carry around weapons – that's why they say I can't get a boyfriend," Sakura paused to exhale a long breath, "And I just can't do it again, Sasuke! I can't take it anymore. If my stupid, pretentious, girly snob of a cousin gives me that I'm-so-much-better-than-you look one more time, I'm going to kill her!"

Sasuke looked up to give her a look. "What do you want me to do?" he asked calmly.

Sakura's eyes widened in hope, "Just one family dinner, that's all!"

"Fine," he stated calmly. "One lousy dinner. Next time they come back, tell them you broke up with me because I'm an asshole or because I'm dead – because I'm not doing this again."

X

Sakura finished the story for Hinata, who held the faintest amount of amusement in her small, upturned smile. Finishing the story, Sakura said, "And the dinner was awful – terrible. My two cousins, who are around our age, kept ogling Sasuke the entire time, my uncle interrogated him, and my aunt started talking about marriage. Once I walked him to the door, he leaned in and pecked me on the cheek. I thought it was strange of him, showing affection like that, but he did it so he could whisper 'You owe my big time' in my ear. And I did. I did owe him big, so that's why I did it," Sakura finished, huffing in annoyance. "I just didn't think it would cost me my life because we know that you-know-who is going to kill me…hey can we stop at the make-up and beauty supply shop, I need foundation, bobby pins, and some eye shadow."

Hinata nodded and the two girls entered the tiny shop that housed all the of essential beauty supplies available in Konoha. Sakura quickly found her things and was heading towards the check-out line when she stopped dead in her tracks. In the checkout line was one Uchiha Mikoto – Sasuke and Itachi's mother – and she was buying something. Sakura approached slowly, cautiously. Peering over the older woman's shoulder, she saw it.

Two boxes of black hair dye.

Sakura was mortified, but it was too late. "Ah, Sakura-chan, how are you?" Mikoto asked brightly, turning around to face the two kunoichi. "And Hinata-chan, it's always nice to see you as well."

"Mikoto-sama," the two girls replied in unison.

"Ah, Sakura-chan, I'd like to thank you for cleaning up the house last night. I can always tell when you stay over," Mikoto said cheerily. "The boys were barely awake when I came to the market. Usually you're with them. Did you leave early?"

There was something about Mikoto's smile that told Sakura that the Uchiha matriarch knew. It was this quirk of the lips or this glint in her eye – showing her amusement – but Sakura knew that she knew. Sakura gulped.

"The boys would never clean up after themselves, and it is no trouble to clean up at all," Sakura replied, smiling a bit nervously. "And I had to train early and run some errands. That's why I left earlier than usual."

Mikoto nodded and softly smiled at both of the girls. She picked up her purchases from the counter and chirped, "Well you two have fun with the rest of your day!"

With that, the Uchiha matriarch was gone.

Sakura sighed in relief before turning to Hinata. "Did you see what she bought?" she asked cautiously. Hinata nodded before uncharacteristically bursting out laughing. Sakura ran a hand over her face, "I'm so screwed. With a capital S."

X

Sakura fidgeted nervously in her seat, her shishou gazing at her through the corner of her eye questioningly. They were waiting for the rest of the advisors to arrive to their weekly meetings. Hinata sat on Sakura's other side, her smile barely showing. Shikamaru was to the left of Hinata, and then Neji sat stoically after him. They were just waiting for Shizune (the hospital representative), Iruka (representing the academy), and a certain man in charge of ANBU. The door opened, revealing Iruka and Shizune who were talking amiably. They greeted everyone and took their seats.

The seconds on the clock ticked by, each tick loud and deafening to Sakura. Her mind was racing. Perhaps she could excuse herself early, saying she had a surgery to do. Then, he wouldn't follow her to kill her. It wasn't a lie. She did have a surgery to do today – just not until much later. She was a jounin, a kunoichi, and the apprentice to the Hokage – one of the legendary sannin. She could come up with some excuse to get far away from the Uchiha.

With that thought, the door opened and he stepped in. If she hadn't spent so much time around Uchiha's, she would have never guessed that something was wrong, but she could tell something was bothering him. And worse, she knew what was bothering him.

His stance was proud and tall, like always, his hair jet black. Too black. Like it had been dyed that color. That's because it had been dyed that color. Sakura wanted to keel over and hide her face. His black attire was the same as always, the same as his ever impassive face. The only way you could see he was irritated was by the slightest tugging of lips downward and his stress lines were slightly deeper. Other than that, he was the picture of stoicism.

He gave the briefest of greetings and sat down at the table, directly across from Sakura. Making eye contact with him tentatively, she could feel the fierceness in his gaze.

He knew.

That's when he spoke for the first time. His eyes never left Sakura's, who was much too frightened to break the contact, but he addressed the Hokage, "Hokage-sama, it appears that my younger brother will not be able to go on the mission you have assigned to him this evening."

Tsunade huffed. "And why not?" she asked.

"He…is in the hospital," he replied impassively, but Sakura saw a glint of something for a moment. It was there and gone much too quickly for her to register what it was, but it was there. Worse, she couldn't break eye contact. She was mesmerized, hypnotized, by his black orbs. There was something lurking deep into those midnight depths that had her captivated and without breath.

"How'd he end up there?" Tsunade replied angrily.

Itachi smirked – his onyx orbs never breaking contact with Sakura's. She felt a shiver run down her spine from Itachi's intense gaze. Sakura was all too aware of the fact that everyone in the room was alternating looks between her and Itachi, confused as to what was going on.

"We were training," he replied. With a dangerous tone to his voice, eerily calm, he continued, "It got out of hand."

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "Very well. Sakura?"

Sakura had never felt so much gratitude for her shishou in her entire life. Her eyes ripped away from the Uchiha's to look at her shishou, who was giving her an odd look.

"Yes, shishou?" Sakura asked as calmly as she could, trying to regain her composure. It seemed that everyone in the room had been distracted by the odd scene between Itachi and Sakura. They weren't A-ranked ninja for nothing – they knew when something was amiss.

If Tsunade suspected anything, she didn't address it. "You'll be going on the mission in Sasuke's place. Sai and Naruto will give you the details. You're team captain since Sasuke is incapacitated."

Sakura nodded.

"And Uchiha," Tsunade turned her gaze back to the ANBU captain. Sakura didn't dare look at him again because she could feel his eyes on her, and she didn't want to be stuck staring into his obsidian depths again. She could see, in her mind's eye, the perfectly-shaped black eyebrow that arched to ask the Hokage what she wanted, "Don't do that again. I expect you to have more self-control than that," Tsunade paused for a moment, her face taking on a bemused expression "…is your hair darker today?"

If Sakura was a lesser shinobi, she would have smacked her palm to her head.

X

Sasuke was sitting in the hospital bed glowering at her. After dismissing herself from the meeting early, under the pretense of packing for the mission and distributing her medical files, she came straight to the hospital to talk to Sasuke. He flinched when she puffed into the room, thinking Itachi had come back for round two.

He had three broken ribs, a concussion, second-degree burns over thirty percent of his body, and had undergone a fairly traumatizing genjutsu. He wouldn't disclose what Itachi had shown him in that genjutsu, but it was enough to make him nauseous and shake every time it was brought up. Itachi calling it a 'training session' was being far to forgiving. It had been a good, old-fashioned ass whooping.

"I guess I'm next," Sakura whispered meekly. Sasuke shrugged. Sakura glared. He shrugged again. "You're such an ass for getting me into this mess."

"Hn."

"Well, the mission will be three days long, so I'm hoping to avoid him, or at least being alone with him, until then. Hopefully he'll have calmed down by the time I return," Sakura replied wistfully. "I'm going to go get some files from my office, and then I'm going to Ichiraku with Naruto and Sai before the mission. So I'll be with people the entire time."

Sasuke just gave her a look as she exited his room with one last wave. Her footsteps were silent as she walked up the stairs towards her office. There were people everywhere, so she shouldn't have trouble staying clear of him for a few more hours. She could do that. Right? It was possible – evading one of Konoha's top ANBU members. Never mind the fact that Itachi and his team specialized in tracking and silent assassination missions. It was totally possible, she decided as she entered her office (aka: closet with a window).

Or not.

As the door closed behind her, an arm came out and grasped her waist forcefully, slamming her back against the door painfully. She winced. He was very, very close to her. Both of her arms were held by the wrists above her head with one of his hands, the other arm holding her against him tightly by her waist.

Sakura gasped for breath that had escaped the instant her back had hit the door. How could she not sense him in her office? Her senses had been on high-alert, especially for him, since the incident occurred. Oh, well, he wasn't ANBU captain for nothing. His body was pressed tightly against hers, his grip around her waist never wavering. Her body's instincts were telling her to thrash, to fight. There were hundreds of ways he could hill her right now, and her shinobi senses were telling her to get away from the threat. However, her body wouldn't move. It was paralyzed, not by fear, but by something much scarier.

Attraction – lust and attraction.

Sakura was very aware of his body all of a sudden. Sure, she knew how attractive he was. In fact, he rivaled Sasuke in terms of looks. That was no secret. It was also no secret to Sakura that he had an amazingly well-toned, muscular body that was a fined-tuned weapon for battle. Though, right now, her body was wondering what other horribly sexy things his body was built for because she could feel every one of his muscles, tightly constricted and waiting for her to move.

She didn't – she didn't even breath. Instead, she croaked, "Uchiha-san. What brings you here?"

His hot breath was tickling her throat since his head was only just to the left of hers. Her jade eyes strained to the side, trying to catch a glimpse of him. Once the words spilled from her mouth, Itachi chuckled darkly, his breath ghosting over her ear, causing a shiver to run down Sakura's spine. Then, his head moved. It was slow, agonizingly slow.

His mouth went to her ear and he nipped the bottom of the lobe lightly. Sakura gasped. Where the hell is this coming from? She thought. Out of all the scenarios of Itachi's revenge, she never thought a sexual assault would be a possibility. Didn't Sasuke always say his brother was a sexually repressed freak? Well, apparently not because right now he seemed very experienced.

Her train of thought was cut off by Itachi's lips ghosting over the sensitive flesh of her neck, his nose trailing softly behind it. Sakura shuttered involuntary, which led to several internal curse words being thrown about because he laughed darkly again, indicating he had felt her body's visceral reaction. But the heat pooling in the bottom half of her stomach wasn't allowing her mind to stop what was happening, especially once Itachi's hand began tracing circles into her lower back.

The slightest nip on her pulse point forced Sakura out of her state of shock, and the full weight of what was happening crashed down on her. "Uchiha-san," Sakura stated, although much too breathily and hazy for her liking, "I must insist that you halt your physical assault on my person."

Itachi chuckled darkly again, and the arm that was wrapped around her waist came back so she was no longer flush against him. When his body disconnected slightly from hers, Sakura cursed her own body's treacherous desire to push back against him. She was thankfully able to stop herself from doing that. Itachi still had not relinquished his hold on her wrists, and he lifted his head from its place next to her neck. His onyx orbs burned into her jade ones with a light of predatory satisfaction gleaming in them. He was a hunter who had just caught his prey.

With his free hand, he began to idly twirl a lock of pink hair between his index finger and thumb.

"Be careful, Sa-ku-ra," he purred in the most gorgeous baritone voice. "When you mess with fire, there is the chance you'll get burned."

In the slightest of movements, without her even processing what had happened, he was gone. The window to her office had closed with the quietest of clicks, and Sakura was left breathless.

When she found it in her to breathe, the smell of something odd wafted to her nose. It was the smell of smoke – and something burning. The minor amount of heat that tingled over her cheek was all she needed to instinctively reach her hand and clamp it over the lock of hair that Itachi had previously been playing with. It was hot – very, very hot. Once the heat subsided, she pulled the loose strand in front of her face to find it blackened and damaged from a small flame that was still being put out. She squeezed it again, this time in anger, but managed to quell the small flame completely.

The bastard had just tried to burn her hair off.

Oh, Uchiha Itachi. She thought. It is so on. We'll put Naruto's and Sasuke's rivalry to shame.

AN: That was a lot of fun to write. It was a different Itachi than I'm used to, but equally as fun. I hope you liked this little one-shot.

Reviews are always appreciated!

Update 7/13/2013: Sequel to this one shot is posted! It's called Astraphobia. Please read and review if you like this one!