…

There are times when you just want to jump up and down with joy, not caring what people think. Your emotions are on a roller coaster and you end up at the most fantastic amusement park when it comes to an end.

An example would be something like getting engaged to the person you love more than life itself.

Then there are times when you just want to go die in a hole, thinking no one will mind since they all have their own issues to worry about. You've been through so much that a happy ending is so far off, it's not even an option anymore, but you put on a mask anyways and pretend you're perfectly fine.

An example would be something like having someone else get engaged to the person you love more than life itself.

Guess which category I fall in?

…

Hinamori Amu, twenty-two years old.

My whole life I've worn a mask, never letting anyone-not even my parents see my true self or speak my true feelings. The only exception was my best friend, Mashiro Rima, and her boyfriend, Fujisaki Nagihiko. They always saw right through me, which is why I loved them so much. I didn't need anybody else, I decided.

Then I met him.

I had been fourteen when it happened. I was taking my younger sister, Ami, who had been thirteen, to the carnival and she tripped over something so I made her sit on the bench while I went to get some cotton candy to cheer her up.

It turned out that the only way you could get cotton candy at the carnival was to play this game and win. If you couldn't win, you would have to spin a wheel to determine the price of the cotton candy. It ranged from two dollars to thirty; it made sense since it was gourmet cotton candy (I still don't know how cotton candy can be gourmet, but hey).

I only had ten dollars and couldn't risk it, and Ami refused to have anything else, so I was stuck playing this game of chance called Shugo Chara. You had to take the plastic eggs and throw them at the moving dolls, but the eggs had a symbol on them that you had to match to the doll.

I got four eggs (one had a heart, the other had a spade, another a clover, and the fourth had a diamond) and threw three of them. The heart hit the doll with the crown, the spade hit the one with the cat, and the clover hit the one with the bamboo. The diamond was the only hope I had, since the booth cost me five dollars and I needed to bring home change.

"You can do it, girly," encouraged the booth owner, though he didn't mean it from the way he didn't even look at me as he smoked his cigarette. I took a deep breath and held the diamond egg tightly in my hand, reeling it back as I concentrated on the doll that shared the same symbol.

"If I don't make it, Ami will throw a fit right there," I reminded myself as motivation, just as a released the egg. It flew towards the dolls, which happily jerked around on its conveyer belt, and it looked as if it was actually going to hit the diamond doll. I prepared to cheer, already pumping my fist, when the dolls suddenly moved again and the diamond egg hit the doll with the headphones instead. I must have looked ridiculous, my hand halfway in the air with a horrified expression on my face as I stood there.

"Better luck next time," stated the booth guy and I glowered at him, crossing my arms as I glared at the dolls just as somebody brushed past me and handed the owner a single dollar bill. "That's one egg, one chance, buddy."

"I only need one," said the newcomer smoothly, taking the black egg with the cat on it as he stared at the moving dolls. To my surprise, he did an underhanded toss instead of the overhead throw I did. It glided smoothly through the air, and I thought for sure it was going to hit the spade doll rather than the cat one, but at the last minute, the dolls moved and the cat egg hit the right doll. My jaw dropped as the booth owner grudgingly handed the newcomer the huge bag of cotton candy.

He turned to me and handed it to me, earning a confused look from me. "You were getting it for you sister, right? I don't eat sweet stuff, so you can have it."

"Then why did you play?" I sputtered, taking the bag in my arms. He shrugged and I was captivated by the glint in his indigo blue eyes.

"You looked as if you were struggling and needed help," he replied, and I glared at him.

"I don't need help from the likes of you," I stated coldly, my mask instantly snapping on as I realized I had let my true self show. He looked amused as he turned around. "Hold on, I'm not done with you!"

"Later," he stated, disappearing into the crowd. I stomped my foot childishly before making my way back to Ami, who practically shoved me away as she took the sweet treat from me. The night passed on, and I forgot about the strange guy.

Ami and I went on with our lives, going to separate high schools since she wanted to pursue a singing career and went to a special performance school. Since then, she became the star of the family and I just became the shadow. She shined like the sun, and I was as cold as ice.

I became friends with Rima and Nagi during sophomore year, and since they could see through me so easily, I ended up telling them about everything about my mask and whatnot. They understood. They put up masks up as well.

Everything was fine, and I was satisfied. Ami was super happy and working to an amazing life in the future, I had the two greatest friends in the world, and I even warmed up to this guy Tadase.

Then my sister's school decided to have a concert at my school.

It was amazing to see so many talented people in one place, hearing all this incredible music and see all this beautiful creativity. There was even a performance by Hoshina Utau, a beautiful idol with a powerful voice. And then Ami went up and nearly rivaled the famous idol, though Utau didn't look like she minded. I guess Ami made a new friend there.

And then the announcer's voice boomed, "And now for our next performance, we have Tsukiyomi Ikuto on the violin!"

I had been chatting with Rima and Nagi absently when I heard all the girls squeal loudly, nearly causing me to go deaf. I turned to the stage and my eyes widened, recognizing the guy from the carnival years ago. He had a bored expression on his face as he looked through the crowd and maybe it was just my imagination, but I swear his eyes met mine for just a second.

As the guy, Ikuto, put his violin under his chin, his features softened and the melody flowed through the air. The girls were swooning and the guys were captivated as well, but I wasn't paying attention to the others. In that one song, I heard his whole story. In that one song, I knew I was in love. Call me stupid for falling in love with a guy I didn't even know, but I knew what it was.

The song was sad and bitter, but it also lifted my spirits and put me in a peaceful state. I heard the pain he felt but also the hope he had for others to get their happy ending. I knew nothing about him, but that song made me feel like we had known each other all our lives.

When the song ended, he simply left the stage as everyone burst into applause. I shook off the strange feeling I had and began talking with Nagi about his basketball game the upcoming Friday, when Ami raced over.

"Amu," she exclaimed, waving absently to Rima and Nagi. "Guess what?" I raised an eyebrow, silently asking. "I got a boyfriend!" I knew dad was going to flip. "He's just the most amazing and hottest guy ever!" Ami giggled. "Don't tell papa, but he's also such a bad boy! Oh, Amu, and guess what? He proposed!" She looked around while I sputtered at this revelation. "Oh, here he comes now! Amu, I want you to meet my boyfriend and fiancé, Ikuto!"

And my world crumbled.

…

Our parents flipped, naturally. They made Ami and Ikuto wait until they both graduated, considering Ami was a sophomore and Ikuto was a senior like me. High school, where pedophiles are born.

And so they remained a steady couple for two and half more years. They planned the wedding, getting ready to marry right after Ami's graduation…but then the week before the wedding, Ami got extremely ill and they had to postpone the wedding.

It took almost two months before she felt better, but everybody was so busy and there was no time to reschedule the wedding until recently.

Ikuto and I became good friends, despite my feelings for him. We had to be good friends at least; we were going to be in-laws one day. It was during this time, when he told me about how his father had died when he was young and his stepfather had abused him and his sister (imagine how shocked I was when I found out Hoshina Utau was his sister), and how he came to love the violin, that I realized I really did love him. I was absolutely sure at that point, and I could tell it was obvious when I realized I had dropped my mask when he was around.

It was obviously one-sided, considering he was getting married to my sister and all. Rima knew how I felt (like I said, she and Nagi see right through me), and kept telling me just to tell him…but I couldn't.

I loved Ikuto, but he loved Ami, who loved him. I wasn't going to ruin such a happy couple.

So I suffered through the pain, and I decided I couldn't fool myself anymore. I began putting walls up again, especially around Ikuto, and gave him the cold shoulder and sometimes even put up my mask around Ami. They were startled but I just dismissed whatever worries they had, telling them to focus on the wedding.

I needed to get away. I couldn't stay there and see them every day, being so happy and in love…

Luckily for me, I found a job in America and was going to take a plane there the day after the wedding. I don't know why I was attending; Ami hadn't even picked me to be a bridesmaid, choosing her childhood friends Yaya and Rikka, while Utau was her maid of honor. I guess it may have had something to do with the fact that at the time she chose them, I had already slipped back on my mask.

Old habits die hard, I suppose.

…

Then, the night before the wedding, something happened. I was busy drowning my sorrows into a tub of ice cream, absently flipping through the TV as Rima and Nagi slept on my couch. They have their own apartment; I don't know why they're over at mine so much.

All of a sudden, the cartoon I had been watching was interrupted by a knocking at the door. Making sure my friends were still sleeping, I walked over and opened the door with a surprised expression. Ikuto stood there, looking anxious.

"Amu, I need you to have something," he stated, not even asking if he could come in. I doubt I would have, considering I'd probably make sure he never left. I raised an eyebrow at him. "I mean, we're going to be siblings right?" I nodded slowly, ignoring the pain I felt. "Well, Ami means a lot to me…and since she loves you so much, I decided there has to be something to represent our familial love just like the wedding represents the romantic love Ami and I have."

"And?" I said, gesturing for him to continue as I stared at him boredly. Inside, I was dying. I didn't want his familial love. Ikuto reached into his pocket and pulled out a beautiful white padlock. "What's that?"

"I saw it at shop," he explained. "I have the matching key. You can be the lock, I'll be the key, and Ami can be the treasure waiting inside." I nodded once, holding the padlock in my hands. It felt heavy and meaningless, like my heart.

"Thanks, Ikuto," I said slowly, turning to go back inside. "Well…I'll see you tomorrow then." He looked absolutely relieved and I knew at once I couldn't go to the wedding, so I added, "I'm happy for you and Ami; take care of her." He nodded as I closed the door on him.

Because even if I wanted to break down and cry, and even if I wanted Ikuto for myself, I was happy for him and Ami. They deserved happiness, both of them, and I wasn't going to let my own feelings ruin that.

I booked the next plane to America, packing my things. I already sold my apartment and it supposed to be empty by tomorrow night. Rima and Nagi woke up around two to my sobs, and just held me like I was their lost child. They told me I would be fine, and that I should at least tell them the truth. I agreed, deciding to write a letter.

I asked Rima to give them the letter after the wedding, since I would most likely to be gone by then. She gave me a sad look, as if she knew something I didn't, and hugged me tightly as she agreed. I spent the rest of the night packing, the apartment soon as empty as my heart.

And as I boarded the plane, without even saying goodbye to anyone other than Rima and Nagi, I looked up at the full moon and saw all the beautiful stars, and smiled. How I wanted to be a star, seeing everything without being involved. Stars felt no pain, and could still be there whenever a lost soul needed leading.

Stars…how I wish I was one.

…

Dear everybody,

I am sorry I did not say goodbye, but I decided to leave early for my job in America. I apologize if anybody panicked, but I assume everybody was too busy with the wedding to notice I was gone. And if anybody did, they didn't say anything because who would want a Crabby Cathy at such a beautiful event?

I'm not coming back to Japan, just in case you're wondering. Too many painful memories there.

So…I will just be honest, since I promised Rima.

All my life, I put on a mask. I came off as a cruel and heartless person, a 'Cool n' Spicy' idol of some sort…when really, that was my way of not showing my true emotions. I don't know how to put this, really…I guess what I'm saying is, almost nobody sees the real me.

Nobody but three people (and no, they're not my parents or Ami) know who I am; how I want to be honest and girly, how I want to be more artistic and express myself better, how I wish I could be motherly without breaking my tough exterior, or how I wish I could glow as radiantly as the stars or like Ami.

Ami…I won't lie. I was always jealous of you. You were so beautiful and talented, and you got everything you ever wanted so easily. But I loved you too much to let that jealousy to get to me…and even now, I don't let it get to me.

I don't know if you know or not, but the other night, Ikuto came by apartment and said he wanted something to represent how we're going to be siblings. He gave me a padlock, holding onto the key. He said you were the treasure waiting. I agree, but it killed me.

You see, Ami, you're not the only one who fell in love with Ikuto.

I do love Ikuto, more than anything else in this world, but I know you two are happy together. This is part of the reason I couldn't make the wedding or say goodbye. I doubt I could have without breaking down.

Ikuto, you told me about your past. Please…tell Ami about it; she deserves that more than anybody else. I know you're happy with Ami, but please don't forget about me. I know you don't believe that I'm in love with you, considering how cold I've been lately (though you should know that was because I was wearing my mask again), but if it helps…I still have the padlock with me, and…a black cat doll I won at the carnival the other day. I think the game was called 'Shugo Chara'. I hope that rings a bell…if not, I know it's not meant to be.

Anyways, I cannot bear to be there anymore. I need a fresh start, and I'm sorry it had to be during such a happy occasion. Please forgive me.

If you want to contact me, just send the message to Rima or Nagi; they know where I am, but they promised not to tell anyone else. They're two of the three people who know who I really am, by the way.

Maybe I will return one day. If I don't, I'll be like a star in the night sky and be watching you from afar.

Again, I'm truly sorry. I promise I won't wear a mask anymore.

Hinamori Amu

…

"And in other news, there still has been no word about the plane crash over the Atlantic the other week…oh what's this?" The news anchor read the note that he was given. "It seems they have found the plane! Here is a list of the lost and deceased now. Luckily, it is a short list as there were many survivors. Let's pray for the families of our lost ones now, shall we?"

Momozono Amorza

Hitsugaya Kei

Kimura Rosalyn

Amulet Ran

Amulet Miki

Amulet Dia

Amulet Su

Hinamori Amu

…

"…Amu was an incredible person," sniffled Ami, three weeks later. "She may have seemed cold at first, but she really was the kind of person who would do anything to make you happy. She was so supportive of me, even when our relationship got strained from our different life paths…and oh god, I just…" Ami burst into tears again and her father led her away, her face buried in his chest while a pained expression formed on his own face.

"Our final speaker is Tsukiyomi Ikuto."

Ikuto approached the podium, his eyes red and bleary. "Hinamori Amu was a vibrant character. She was the kind of person to push people away, but always be there when they needed help. The only problem she had was that nobody was there for her when she wanted to unload her own problems. You see, I met Amu when I was fourteen…we were at a carnival, and she was trying to win a bag of cotton candy for her sister but couldn't beat the game. I stepped in and she immediately got annoyed that I won so easily. I walked away but later I saw her sharing the cotton candy I had won with her sister."

He took a deep breath. "A few years later, I went to a performing art school where I met Hinamori Ami. We fell in love, but I couldn't help but linger on a certain pink haired girl I had met before. Soon, our school had a concert at the local high school were Ami introduced me to her sister. Imagine how surprised I was when I realized that it was Amu, the same girl I had met at the carnival." Ikuto paused to take another deep breath. "The wedding took a long time to plan, and during that time, Amu and I became good friends. I opened up to her and she dropped the icy mask she always wore. It was then that I realized I was in love with her, but it was too late. I was marrying Ami, and I was sure she didn't feel the same way."

Ami sniffled in her seat, dabbing her eyes as she watched the midnight blue haired man speak from the heart. Rima sat next to her, holding back tears as she patted the younger girl on the arm. Nagi had his arm around her, though he was crying as well.

Ikuto continued, "A few days later, I decided to do something to show how much I loved her. I picked up matching necklaces at the store, one with a lock and the other with a key that matched it. I gave the lock to Amu and I kept the key. I made a lame excuse, saying it was to represent our familial love. She accepted and we left. I had no idea that was the last time I was going to see her, seeing as she decided to leave for America early instead of leaving after the wedding." He swallowed hard. "I think everybody knows what happened next, but in case you don't…the plane flew through a particularly harsh storm and it flying down, assumed missing for weeks before it was finally found on a deserted island. There had been many survivors but some people had died, and some had gone missing. Amu was one of those who had gone missing, but she was assumed dead because no body was found." This time, it was Rima who burst into tears and Nagi held her tightly as tears shamelessly ran down his face. "It was at this time that her best friend, Rima, handed Amu's parents a letter that she had written before she left. There, she stated that not only did she hide behind a mask of false feelings all her life, but she also loved me as well." Ikuto now had tears going down his face as well, as did everybody else at the funeral. "Ami and I broke off the wedding, as most of you know, but I knew it was too late…Amu was gone by then." He swallowed again. "Amu always wanted to shine like her sister, so we don't say she's gone. Instead, she's simply a star in the sky that watches over us like she always has. Although there's no body in this coffin, it's just as well because Amu's no longer here on Earth…rather, she's up there. Like a star or an angel, shining in her own way at last…where she can smile without a mask, and finally be happy."

Ikuto wiped his face, nodding as he stepped down. Everybody watched as the coffin began to lower, and he reached under his shirt to pull out his key necklace. He stared at it, walking away from the crowd and out of the cemetery until he stopped at the amusement park he had brought her to one time…so, so long ago. It was abandoned now, and nobody bothered to bring it down so it stayed dusty and unused.

It was getting dark. Ikuto looked up and smiled sadly at the twinkling stars in the sky, one shining brighter than any of the others. That star was Amu, he decided, as he gripped the key in his hand. And she was certainly shining.

Rima and Nagi appeared at the entrance; apparently they had followed him, and gestured for him to come with them. Ikuto nodded and yanked his necklace off, placing it gently into the kids' pink teacup which she had forced him into before walking away.

As he and the couple walked away, a small wind picked up in the empty amusement park and the brightest star twinkled for a moment, light washing over the area. When it vanished, the pink teacup was glowing.

Nobody would find it for years, and even then it was only for the cat and ice queen to see, but for years on…people would always wonder how the Humpty Lock had appeared next to the Dumpty Key.

…

I don't own Shugo Chara.

Damn…that was sad. I have nothing to say about this, other than it was sad and I sort of hate myself for writing it. And no, I am not writing another part to this.

I was going to write that Rima put the Lock in the coffin but I couldn't think of an excuse as to why she would have it, or if Amu had been alive and appeared at the funeral with tattered clothing, or even a scene where a ghostly Amu smiled and watched Ikuto from afar which he would see. But I decided on this instead.

Whether she died or was never found, I don't know. It's up to you.

Anyways…typical sad story. Ikuto is marrying somebody else even though he loves Amu, and she loved him, but some kind of event occurs and the wedding is called off. Only…I made sure that, unlike most of these kinds of stories, they don't get their happy ending. I don't know why I needed to write it like that, considering I made myself cry during this, but I wanted to write a story and this is what inspiration called for.

So yeah…again, if you're reading Seamstress and Prince, so sorry! I promise it will be up soon! Inspiration for that story doesn't come as easily…why do I get all these plot bunnies when I'm working on something else, and not when I need them? Jeez.

Anyways, I hope you liked it! Sorry if it's sad, and a bit rushed.