Title: The Other Side (The Rehabilitation and Reintegration Arc)
Pairings/Warnings: Takes place about two years post EW, 1x2 get together, mild language, fluff, sweetness, rated M for a bit of smuttiness, although not to my normal level, let's say... ;-P Not my typical idea of how the boys would actually get together so this is kind of a fun little experiment for me.
Notes: This is inspired by Jason Derulo's song "Other Side," which I heard him describe in an interview before I ever heard the song and it was really cute! ;-P All about how friendships can turn into something more and of course just about everything makes me think of my favorite boys so yeah, this was an easy sell.
I didn't intend to write anything else in this series so soon but all the sweet reviews on A Favor for a Friend inspired me. ;-) So thank you very much to all my lovely readers!
Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Wing or the boys, just love writing about 'em. =)
Heero stared wearily at the contents of his locker, forcing his brain through an entirely too complex acrobatic routine considering he was just trying to remember what it was he should bring home. He'd just gotten back to HQ and was subjected to four hours of debriefing despite the fact that he hadn't slept in over seventy-two and even he was beginning to feel the effects.
He stared down at his shoes for a minute and then back up at the locker and decided he didn't really need anything so he slammed it shut and stared a bit longer, trying to think of what it was he had to do next. Home. Bed. Right. At least his apartment was only a fifteen-minute walk.
Better get started, he thought, but he found it difficult to move his feet. And then a cheerful, familiar voice rang out through the locker room.
"You're back!" Duo called out the obvious statement and Heero snorted before sucking in a deep breath and turning to meet his partner. "I heard they really gave you shit in debriefing."
Heero chuckled out a delirious exhale as Duo approached, shoving his hands in his pockets and appraising his condition.
"You look tired."
Heero shrugged. Duo was always pointing out the obvious.
"We're on for Friday, right?"
Heero blinked and stared at Duo, trying to figure out exactly what he was referencing. Then he felt like a complete idiot as they had a standing get together at the end of every week as long as one of them wasn't on assignment. He'd missed the last one and Duo the one before and in his state of exhaustion he'd just kinda forgotten about it.
"Of course."
Duo beamed at him for a minute but then concern quickly overtook his features.
"You gonna get back okay?"
Heero shrugged again. He'd never not gotten back to his place in one piece, evidenced by the fact that he was standing there in one piece currently. He felt the risks were acceptable given statistical experience.
"Hey, it's almost quittin' time, let me give ya a ride back to your place."
Heero actually felt his odds of making it back dropping as he considered climbing onto the back of Duo's bike. Not because Duo was an unsafe driver or he didn't trust him – that notion was ridiculous considering he was an ex-Gundam pilot and Heero's partner. No. Heero was more afraid that if he sat anywhere for longer than two minutes he'd fall asleep.
But Duo took his complete lack of response as acceptance and dragged his zombie-like form up the elevator to the parking deck. Duo gave him the helmet, which under normal circumstances he would've protested, but at that moment he found it difficult to argue. Without much thought he strapped it on and slid up behind Duo. He was careful of the distance between them, not wanting the comfort of another warm body to lull him into sleep, and he bit down on his cheeks to try to keep himself awake as the vibrations and the rhythm of the road underneath them threatened his consciousness.
In all honesty, he hardly remembered the trip, and Duo opened the door to his apartment with his own key as Heero's brain totally blanked.
"You're getting soft," Duo teased. "It's been what, forty eight hours? Forty eight hours without sleep is nothin' for the infamous Heero Yuy, eh?"
"Seventy-eight." Heero scowled. He knew Duo was teasing but he didn't like the idea that he was sub-par to his fifteen-year-old self.
"Shit." Duo's mouth contorted into a frown. Heero stared at him for an indeterminate amount of time before the frown deepened.
"Well, don't let me keep you!" Duo announced and turned to walk out but Heero just stared after him, completely dazed. Blue eyes peaked over his shoulder to note with a scowl that Heero hadn't moved.
"Gettin' delirious, there?" he questioned, moving towards him, grabbing Heero's upper arm and hauling him back to the bedroom. Duo forced him to sit on the bed and crouched down to take off his shoes for him. Heero stared at the other man and thought it was somewhat preposterous that Duo was unlacing his combat boots so gently. He started to giggle. Lightly. Not really sure where the impulse came from. Maybe he was sub-par to who he was at fifteen.
Duo looked back up at him from where he'd started the second boot, his brows unfurrowing and a smile slipping across his lips.
"This is almost better than getting you drunk."
"Either way, you're still taking off my shoes."
There was a moment of disbelief and then Duo laughed, a full bodied, throaty sound that Heero loved to hear. Heero didn't exactly have a traditional sense of humor, but he could make Duo laugh, and sometimes he felt like if he could make someone laugh, maybe he wasn't as damaged as he thought he was.
"Yeah, I guess you're right," Duo admitted before turning back to the task. "I'm amazed you remember that."
Heero shrugged as his foot was freed and Duo stood.
"That's about all I remember."
"I'm not surprised." Duo crossed his arms over his chest and appraised him. "Do you need me to undress you too? Lay you down? Tuck you in?"
The words were light and joking but they made Heero feel a little bit funny and he shook his head curtly.
Duo held out his hand. "Phone?"
Heero stared a minute before digging in his pocket and handing it over.
"I'll set you an alarm so you don't miss work tomorrow," he offered and fiddled with it a moment before setting it on the nightstand.
"Well, I'll see myself out, huh?"
Heero just nodded and watched Duo walk out, shutting the door behind him. It took him a minute, but when he finally moved his sore and weary body he hardly recalled his head hitting the pillow.
When he awoke he had almost forgotten how he got there at all. As he shut off his alarm, he realized he'd slept for fourteen hours straight without a single nightmare. He contemplated not sleeping more often.
After shaving and showering he wandered out to the kitchen and opened his fridge to find Duo had made him two sandwiches and left them wrapped up on a plate for him, likely assuming he wouldn't sleep through until the next morning. Heero found the thoughtfulness of his best friend endearing and although he typically would make himself eggs, he took out the sandwiches and poured himself a glass of juice, standing at the counter and making short work of them.
As he had left his car at HQ, Heero walked to work, and when he reached the office he shared with Duo he was greeted with the other man involved in a tense phone conversation.
"I told you when we started dating that I wasn't going to change –" there was a pause and Heero sat down at his desk "– yeah, I meant anything."
He booted up his computer and focused on that as Duo let suitor number three hundred and fifty two slide through his fingers. Well, Heero wasn't counting, but it was probably more like twelve in the past two years. It was Heero's personal opinion that Duo was far too unyielding for a relationship to succeed – not that Heero blamed him. It was why Heero didn't get into any relationships in the first place. He just wished Duo would make peace with it and stop trying. Despite how he acted, each abysmal failure wasn't easy on him. In fact, Heero suspected each failure made the next attempt even less likely to succeed.
"I know, we've been seeing each other for what, two months?" Duo's voice practically snapped at the words. "Yeah, and I've known him for almost five years."
Heero didn't let his face betray his confusion at the conversation and instead he began shifting through his e-mail.
"Look, I'm nineteen, I just want to have fun, and obviously you want something more than that."
Heero felt like Duo deserved points for candor.
"Yeah, and my fun involves hanging out with my friends and –"
Heero glanced up as Duo was cut off and Duo mimicked talking with his hand, rolling his eyes, a frown marring his face.
"Yeah, you're right, I've been trying to tell you that for the past fifteen minutes. This isn't going to work."
Heero sighed and then Duo started laughing as he stared down at his phone.
"The bitch hung up on me."
Heero lifted a brow curiously. "I guess it's over then."
His friend smirked back. "Yeah, guess so."
But then all amusement was gone. Duo blew out a long breath and threw his phone on the desk, standing and stalking out of the room. When he came back a few minutes later he had soda and candy and seemed to be back to his normal self, for which Heero was grateful, as the rest of the day passed in blissful mediocrity.
The next day was also rather very ordinary as they began briefing for a joint mission to Mars and Duo seemed to be in better spirits as it involved piloting and they didn't frequently get to pilot themselves any more.
When they got out of the meeting, Duo's eyes were shining and he punched a fist into Heero's shoulder.
"Hey, before we blow this joint, let's go down to the hangar and see what hunk a' junk they want us to fly, huh?"
Heero shrugged. He had the specs in his inbox so seeing it in person wasn't really necessary but he kinda liked the way Duo's excitement was nearly palpable and so he followed along behind his friend, his braid sliding across his back hypnotically as he walked.
Getting to the hangar required a short bus trip across campus since HQ was built throughout the entirety of New Port City. The hanger was on the outskirts in an old converted airport and the underground bunker most of the agents worked out of was in the heart of the city. But Duo made the trip easy with his rambling, mostly one-sided conversation and there were very few people heading to the hangar at four o'clock on a Friday afternoon so Heero relaxed to the sound of Duo's voice prattling on as he had so many times during the war.
Despite how unnecessary the trip was, Heero certainly didn't ever regret going to the hangar. The thing was a veritable treasure trove of mobile suit parts and advanced planes and spacecraft. It had the blood humming through his veins and even he was starting to feel some of Duo's enthusiasm as they passed by machine after gleaming machine. Sure, there was a thrill to busting bad guys and disabling bombs that could've taken out whole countries but if Heero was honest with himself, none of it held a candle to the intense, mad rush of piloting.
Duo had called out to one of the mechanics and the guy was leading them to the X-95, a new class of quick-travel space shuttle that was supposed to shave a whole two months off the trip to Mars. It wasn't a supply vessel the way most Mars-bound ships were. Instead, it was meant to ferry people of interest, diplomats and the like, to Mars in under a month when orbits were nearly aligned. Although transmission between the two planets was nearly seamless now, having colonies 56 million kilometers away at the closest was enough to make most sovereign leaders tremble.
The craft had been tested – to a degree – but they were supposed to man it on its maiden voyage outside Earth's general vicinity and work out any kinks. It wasn't a particularly interesting mission compared to their normal repertoire, but looking at the sleek shuttle made Heero's lips curve up just slightly. He was already thinking of all the stunts and ill-fated maneuvers Duo would easily talk him into pulling in that craft for the sake of 'testing.'
"Do you wanna go in?" the mechanic asked and Duo nodded his head eagerly. The guy opened the hatch and they climbed in together, immediately opening the door to the cockpit and stepping inside.
Just the electronic systems could've kept Heero satisfied for days as he worked through them and Duo flopped down in the pilot's chair with the biggest smile Heero had seen on his face for quite a while. Heero took the co-pilot's position and ran his fingers over the control panel.
"This is gonna be fuckin' great!" Duo sounded breathless and Heero felt his pulse quicken in response, a sympathetic reflection of Duo's own excitement.
"Do you want to check out the rest of the ship?" Heero offered and he could see how difficult it was for Duo to tear himself away from the controls. But he supposed the fact that they were going to spend at least a month and a half on the ship meant his curiosity over their sleeping quarters definitely got the best of him.
Once they were satisfied with their tour and the living quarters – quite plush considering the size of the craft, but then when you've spent any significant quantity of time in an OZ prison you learn to cope with fairly little – they allowed themselves one last longing review of the cockpit before thanking the mechanic and heading back to the bus station. But this time on the ride Heero joined in as they discussed the potential of the ship and he couldn't help but notice the way Duo's eyes shone as he hung on every quiet word, nodding his head in agreement, deferring to Heero's own opinion in a way he certainly never would have for anyone else.
That, Heero realized once they parted ways in the parking lot, was why Duo was failing to get anywhere in any of his relationships. He just didn't respect the other person enough and that lack of respect created an unbridgeable gap, trying his patience and his sympathy. Heero understood completely. He didn't even attempt to bring himself down to the level of those around him. He piloted the ZERO system at fifteen. He didn't feel guilty for being a bit full of himself in that regard. He was an extraordinary person. It was simply a fact.
He followed Duo to one of their favorite haunts – a little nothing pizza joint in a back alley that boasted a few arcade games and an old jukebox. Duo liked things like that – antiquated things. Heero didn't care – he liked the things that Duo liked just fine.
Duo was waiting outside the door and he opened it for him, following him into the warm, intimate space and calling out greetings to the servers as they walked back to their typical booth. Without even having to say anything, they were brought a pitcher of whatever was on special and two cold glasses. Duo poured the drinks as Jenny asked if it would be the usual. Duo threw him a cautious glance to verify and when Heero nodded Duo smiled and confirmed – the usual.
The beer on special was an Imperial stout and Heero sipped it approvingly, letting the cool, dark liquid wash over his mouth, leaving a pleasant malty aftertaste in it's wake. Duo was grinning at him, likely because he knew Heero would appreciate this beer although stouts were not one of Duo's favorites, since last time they came here Heero was subject to the reverse situation and forced to down glasses of IPA.
"So," Heero opened carefully, "are you going to tell me what happened to this one?"
Duo frowned when he realized to what he was referring and stared sullenly at his beer.
"She just didn't really get it."
Heero bit back a laugh. The women never lasted as long as the men. He didn't think a single one made it past three months.
"She wanted me to meet her parents tonight," Duo continued with a grimace. Heero sympathized. He honestly couldn't imagine meeting someone's parents. He didn't have parents. Neither did Duo. He had no doubt anyone Duo met would be simply enamored with him, but he commiserated with how terrible it would be to put in that situation.
"Hey 'Ro?" There was a strange gleam in Duo's eyes as he peered up at him from under his bangs. "How come our timing was so off?"
Heero blinked in surprise. Their... timing?
"I mean, you don't have parents, so I'd never hafta meet 'em," Duo explained with a chuckle. "And you like to do all the shit I do, so I'd never have to wander through some damned art gallery or sit through a chick flick."
Heero was still reeling from the earlier implication. "Timing?" he mumbled out as his fingers twisted his glass nervously.
Duo gave him a sideways smile and suddenly Heero felt uncomfortable, like there was some insinuation in the way Duo looked at him that he'd never seen before.
"Well, yeah! I mean, I had the biggest crush on you during the war, yanno?" He grinned over his glass and Heero felt his heart slamming in his chest at his best friend's confession. His fingers froze on the glass and he couldn't do anything but stare as Duo continued, seemingly unaffected.
"But shit, we were fifteen and both way too close to dying. Fuck – I watched you self-destruct. I thought you were dead. It would've been stupid." He shrugged as the pizza came but Heero felt immobilized. He never... he never considered that Duo might be interested in him like... like that.
With jerky, mechanical movements he put a piece of his half – veggies and Italian sausage – on his plate while watching Duo pick pineapple off his Hawaiian side, letting his tongue flick out to lick his fingers with each piece he popped in his mouth. Suddenly, it was like he'd never seen Duo do that before although he'd seen it an innumerable number of times. He swallowed hard and averted his eyes, trying to get himself under control. This was his best friend, after all, he didn't need to be thinking about his finger tips and tongue.
It wasn't that Heero didn't feel... desire. Sure, he admitted to himself that maybe he was a bit of a late bloomer in that regard, but he was rather preoccupied with his training and the war. It wasn't until a few months after the Barton Rebellion when he settled into a routine with Preventer that he really started to explore that part of himself. And at that point he was mature enough to realize that a normal relationship wasn't something he could offer anyone and he resigned himself to supplying his own gratification.
But now... The implication of what Duo said rattled in his brain and he couldn't think straight. Duo found him attractive, at one point? They could avoid the pitfalls of normal relationships and just... hang out together and have sex too?
He watched Duo as he rambled on about God only knew what and he studied him: the way his big, calloused hands gestured haphazardly, seeming to always be in motion; the strong set of his jaw, so much less delicate than when they were fifteen; the curve of his lips, how the bottom one pouted out slightly, and his nose and the way it curved up slightly; the way his bangs shifted over his eyes; the casual way he sat, so comfortable in his surroundings; the way the sleeves of the t-shirt he always wore under his uniform strained against his muscular biceps. Fuck.
Heero adverted his eyes again, feeling incredibly awkward about this recent development. The idea of being on a shuttle with Duo for over a month seemed like a form of slow torture now. Especially with a shared bunk space.
"You didn't know, did you?"
Duo's smirking question snapped Heero out of his mental wandering and he tried to meet Duo's eyes casually but that kind of acting wasn't really his strong suit.
"No."
"I'd be offended you didn't reciprocate, but it's probably for the best." Duo poured them both more beer. "I figured you weren't interested – kept me from ever trying."
Well, that logic made sense, Heero decided. It probably was for the best. Somehow, though, at that moment, it didn't really seem that way.
"I didn't mean to..." The words died on Heero's tongue as he didn't know exactly what it was he was saying.
Duo waved his hand, dismissing it. "I knew you had a thing for Relena, yanno? Why didn't that go anywhere, anyway? I never really understood what happened."
Up to this point, this topic had been one of those things he was glad everyone typically avoided. Leave it to Duo to eventually broach it so casually. Heero took a swallow of beer and then coughed nervously.
"I'm not really attracted to women."
It was Duo's turn to blink in surprise. "Really? I always thought..."
"Yeah, well," Heero returned, equally apprehensive.
"So maybe I should be offended you weren't attracted to me?" Duo's smile was honest, letting Heero know he really didn't care and there was no malice underneath the joke.
"I just..." Heero paused, once again unsure of what to say. "You're my best friend. I never thought of you that way."
Duo nodded, accepting that answer. "Once again, probably for the best. Otherwise, I don't think that shuttle would make it out unscathed, if you know what I mean." Duo wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Heero blushed brilliantly, burying his hot face in his cool drink as his mind morphed some of his favorite porn scenes into erotic fantasies featuring Duo in that damned shuttle – Duo sucking him off in the pilot's chair; fucking Duo up against the cool walls of that tiny shower with his teeth gnawing into that scared and muscled back, hands buried in his flesh; letting Duo pin him down on the floor and take his virginity as Duo lavished hot, blistering kisses on his neck and chest. Fuck.
"Aww, 'Ro...!" Duo exclaimed and then kicked him so hard under the table that he almost yelped but managed to pull off a glare instead. "You're so cute when you blush." But the blush was promptly killed at those words as all the blood drained from his face and he went back to trying to eat but his stomach was doing somersaults and he thought he might be sick.
The way Duo had looked at him as he said those words, you're so cute – there was something there Heero hadn't seen since they were fifteen. Something he was just too oblivious to place at the time. Something that filled him with the nervous realization that things were about to change in a big, big way and he wasn't sure if he was ready for it.
Duo was the one stable thing he could count on. His partner, his friend. The guy he worked out with every day but Friday when they'd go out after work and get a few pitchers of beer and rehash the week. The guy who spoke up for him in meetings when no one was patient enough to listen and dumbed him down so that their teammates could understand. The guy he could trust to have his back in a mission critical situation, who he didn't have to explain anything to twice, who was the only person who could meet or exceed his own physical prowess, intelligence, and skill. He depended on that stability and he wasn't sure he wanted that to change. But he was about 87% sure that Duo was flirting with him and Heero wasn't stupid enough to believe that meant anything other than that Duo was still physically attracted to him.
"Guess that's all the heart to heart Heero Yuy can handle in one year, huh?" Duo asked around a mouthful of pizza and Heero frowned. He was sure Duo didn't much care for so-called "heart to heart" conversations either. He remembered one of his ill-fated suitors pinning the accusation on him.
"I'm just teasing you," Duo advised as he swallowed. "It's all good. Now drink up so you can't beat me at Duck Hunt."
The suggestion was ridiculous because he was pretty sure he'd never beaten Duo at that arcade game although admittedly there were one or two games he'd been too drunk to remember. Logic dictated inebriation wouldn't have helped his skill any but he couldn't say with absolute certainty it didn't either considering he had no concrete memory of his performance.
At least it seemed their relationship was back to normal then and they made short work of the pizza and finished a second pitcher before heading over to the games lined up on the far wall.
Arcade games were apparently quite popular on L2 and as a child Duo could rig the machines so that they didn't require payment to play. Despite the theft, Heero admired that skill set in a six year old boy. So he and his friends would break in during the day sometimes, when all the other kids were in school, and play for hours. Plus, Duo explained once, they got to raid the snack machines so it was an easy meal too. That left him with undeniable prowess in front of the screens and Heero was already at an extreme disadvantage. Combined with his inability to drop real life habits – who really thought shooting off screen was a reasonable way to reload a gun? – he was not much more than an embarrassment standing next to Duo. But he didn't mind losing to the other man and generally he was borderline too drunk to care. And Duo would laugh and laugh...
After round four where Heero began the valiant fight to drop his nonexistent clip, Duo rammed his shoulder into his side, nearly knocking him off balance with the force. When he looked up to glare at his friend his hostility immediately faded and his heartbeat sped up quicker than he could control it. His lips were curled up in a coy smile, eyes alight with amusement, and all that attention was trained on him. He wondered if Duo always looked at him like that and he'd just never noticed it. But how could he be so blind?
"Go get my beer, would ya?" Duo asked. "Then come join me on Rave."
Heero snorted and rolled his eyes. Duo would never successfully talk him into playing that dance game. It wasn't even that he thought he couldn't do it. He watched Duo play it enough times that he knew it directed your moves and all you had to do was comply. Heero had excellent coordination and he was sure he could complete each move with accuracy and perfection. The problem was that he saw the way Duo played. Duo had a finesse to him that went beyond the specifications of the game. He truly danced when he played, and Heero knew he would look awkward and stiff by comparison if he had to stand next to Duo and complete those same moves in tandem.
He poured them both drinks from the fresh pitcher left on the table for them and he downed his quickly, watching Duo as he input his song selection and started to play. But it was all different now. Now he couldn't simply appreciate Duo's grace and skill. Now Heero's eyes were transfixed by those narrow hips as they swayed and jerked, the way the end of his braid brushed against his ass in those tight slacks, the way his shirt clung to his figure and twisted with his body, knowing from countless shared showers how it hid flat abs and defined pecs. If he thought that knowing exactly what Duo looked like naked would somehow make him less of a turn on, he was completely mistaken. In fact, it seemed to be having the opposite affect. Fuck.
He felt like a voyeur. After all, this was his best friend, and he was watching him like he was a strip tease. Quickly he swallowed back the rest of his glass and poured another before rejoining Duo who was just finishing up his song. The smile he was rewarded with was bright and genuine as Duo accepted the beer from Heero and finished half of it in one fell swoop as he cued up another song. Being closer helped Heero get through the next song as he stared out across the restaurant, dispassionately studying the growing crowd. He knew Duo wouldn't make him stay too much longer despite the relatively early hour, neither of them being particularly fond of unpredictable crowds. They would finish the pitcher and, already being over the legal limit, maybe do a few shots, then wander back to Heero's apartment two blocks away where a cab would be called for Duo. It was predictable. If only Heero could get through the rest of the night the same way he always had, he felt like things would look different in the morning and he would be able to approach this whole situation with a more level head.
Sure enough after that song they headed back to the table and finished the pitcher quickly while Duo held up three fingers to the waitress. The first few times they'd done this, it took some serious wheedling on Duo's part to pull it off as bartenders tended to be skeptical of two 'kids' ordering the amount of alcohol they could consume. But they'd proven over time they weren't going to start any fights or get their local haunts sued and now they weren't questioned. And it wasn't like either of them really cared to get drunk for drunks sake. It was just a little tradition they had, a way to end the workweek, being able to pass out without nightmares and sleep for a few blissfully uninterrupted hours.
The six shots came with the check and once three little glasses were lined up in front of them they each pulled out a few bills to halve the check. Duo smirked as his fingers touched on the first shot glass, his other hand resting flat on the table. Heero smirked back, his hands a perfect imitation of Duo's, completely unsure of how exactly he was talked into this silly ritual but complying with pleasant anticipation.
Duo's eyebrows twitched up, indicating 'go,' and they both smacked the table and downed the first shot before slamming the glass down. They repeated the process for the next two in quick succession and then smiled at each other, both ignoring the burn of the alcohol as neither wanted to be seen as a pussy in front of the other.
Duo sighed as he stood and stretched, grabbing his long discarded button up work shirt. "Another successful night."
They walked out together and Heero stared at the other man suddenly, confused, and not just because the alcohol was worming it's way through his system. "You turned down your girlfriend to hang out with me?"
Duo shoved his hands in his pockets and stared carefully at the sidewalk. "Ex-girlfriend, yeah."
Heero grunted a short laugh. "No wonder she was offended."
"I didn't wanna meet her fuckin' parents," Duo whined petulantly and kicked the ground extra hard on his next step. But Heero wasn't being accusatory. Instead, a little, tiny, drunken piece of him was cheering him on, telling him that maybe he wasn't too late.
"I don't blame you," Heero replied, trying to put his friend's mind at ease.
"Well, you're the only one who understands," Duo bit back sullenly.
"Maybe there's a reason for that," Heero teased, although even he knew his attempt at teasing probably just came off as a weird esoteric comment. He fumbled with his keys more than he thought was reasonable even considering how the shots were catching up to him as he opened the door to his building.
They ascended the steps in silence and Heero felt like he could hear Duo's brain working over the comment and trying to figure it out. He suddenly felt very stupid and very small. He was totally out of his league here. What, did he really think he was acceptable relationship material for Duo? He'd already come to the conclusion that no one would be able to put up with eccentricities long term and that included Duo, surely.
He input his security code correctly, although slowly, and his key slid into the door when Duo burst out with a choppy, uncertain laugh and a quizzical tone to his voice. "Were you... flirting with me?"
Heero paused a moment and twisted the key in the knob, not turning to look back at his friend. "Maybe." He opened the door then and walked in, Duo following quick on his heels.
"What? Was that an attempt at being coy?" Even drunk, Duo still couldn't let anything go and he sidestepped around Heero unsteadily to stand in front of him.
Heero just met his eyes and repeated the singular word awkwardly. "Maybe."
Duo laughed again and smacked him on the shoulder. The contact made Heero stumble backwards a bit.
"You're drunk," Duo pointed out unhelpfully, clearly finding this situation hilarious. "You need t'go t'bed!"
Heero couldn't help the smile easing onto his face. "Are you going to help me take off my shoes?" He was sure that was as blatant a flirtation as he would ever manage to pull off for the rest of his life.
Duo stopped dead and stared, mouth hanging open a little. "You...!"
"Well?" Heero asked, focusing very hard on walking a straight path down the hallway to his bedroom. He silently cheered when he heard Duo following behind, laughing.
"I'm drunk too, yanno, you should hav'ta come back t'my place an' undress me!"
Heero almost went into cardiac arrest at Duo's careless words. He knew it was just the alcohol and that Duo clearly didn't mean he wanted to be fully undressed... but fuck if the image wasn't singularly provocative. He heard the strangled sound Duo made when he realized just what he said and he was quickly backtracking and trying to explain himself.
"You could stay," Heero suggested boldly as he sat down on the bed, narrow eyes following Duo who came to stand before him. "Then I could undress you, too."
Duo was laughing, surely thinking Heero was just joking as he got down on his knees and began working at the laces of his right boot. "Nah, I'm gonna sleep great t'night, want a bed."
And then Heero knew exactly what he had to say. He realized his fingers were trembling with fear in a way he'd never experienced before and he stared down at Duo – poor, unassuming Duo – and he wondered for a brief moment if he should just let it go, not say anything, let Duo live his life in peace without the possibility of Heero fucking it up for him.
But as much as he wanted to protect Duo, a part of him he'd never acknowledged before tried to leap from his heart, making it pound against his ribcage as it tried to break free. He wanted even more, in that sick selfish way that people hopelessly in love are unable to escape, to be the one to bring Duo happiness. He wanted Duo's smiles to be for him, he wanted Duo's laughter to be for him. His heart slammed with the secret knowledge that Duo had said it all – he was the only person who could understand! He was the only person good enough for Duo, the only person who could make him happy, who wouldn't force him to do anything he didn't want to do because they only wanted to do all the same things, who could be patient with all of his flaws and hang ups and find something sympathetic in them regardless of how they plagued him because they had the same problems, the same past, the same fears. Their relationship could be perfect if only Duo would give him another chance...!
Duo had just slipped off his other boot and looked up at him with a grin when the words tumbled out of Heero's mouth before Duo could stop him with some other nonsense.
"You could sleep in my bed."
Duo chuckled and shook his head as he stood. "Nah, don't wanna make you suffer the couch."
"No!" Heero stood quickly, unable to believe Duo completely missed the implications of that statement. The alcohol must've been fueling him on because he felt confused and he felt like if he let Duo leave now it would all be over and he'd never get another opportunity to take their relationship to the other side.
Duo blinked in confusion. They were standing very close. He moved to take a step back but Heero moved forward in response.
"I meant... you could sleep in my bed... with me," Heero explained, feeling then like a complete idiot. If he had to spell that all out, surely Duo was no longer interested.
Duo chuckled weakly and stepped back again. "I don't think that would be a good idea, seein' as you aren't interested an' –"
Aren't interested?! The words shocked Heero into action and he stepped forward so close that their bodies were almost flush and he bumped his lips against Duo's clumsily, having never kissed anyone before. Duo grabbed his upper arms to steady both of them and looked at his friend with serious confusion.
"'Ro?"
"I've never kissed anyone..." he tried to explain but the words trailed off weakly in a fit of embarrassment.
"You're drunk, 'Ro. You said you didn't think of me that way," Duo explained slowly, as if slowing everything down would help his intoxicated brain understand it better. "Remember?"
Heero shook his head a bit too violently. "I didn't. But now, I do."
"Yeah, because you're drunk," Duo explained unhelpfully and Heero wanted to shout with exasperation.
"No!"
"'Ro –" Duo started, his hands still gripping Heero's shirtsleeves.
"Stop talking!" Heero commanded, not wanting to hear another argument or attempt to make this into less than it was. Maybe he hadn't realized it until then, maybe he never expected it to be Duo or that Duo would ever be interested in him, but he was beginning to think he had been in love with Duo for a long, long time.
They were just staring at each other, Duo clenching his mouth shut stubbornly and Heero completely lost in thought, but when he came back he brought his hands up between them and pressed them to either side of Duo's face, cupping it roughly and pressing his mouth against Duo's much more confidently than before.
At first, Duo didn't yield. His hands shook and Heero felt every tremor as they were locked against his arms and then, suddenly, Duo gave in to the kiss and his body slackened. His mouth parted and Heero mimicked the move, Duo's tongue teasing his bottom lip and making his knees feel weak as desire shot through him. He still tasted like alcohol but Heero felt an entirely different kind of drunk as he drank Duo in greedily.
But then Duo was forcibly pulling away and Heero stared at him in devastation. He would've rather never kissed him than to have had just that tiny taste. Then he realized Duo was scared as he was gnawing on his lower lip and studying Heero's own eyes with desperation.
"I can't do this if you're not serious," he whispered, more softly than Heero ever heard him. "This will change everything."
"I know," Heero replied quietly, trying to impress upon him the sincerity of his intent. "We won't just be friends anymore."
And when he leaned back in to kiss him, Duo capitulated immediately, his arms wrapping across Heero's shoulders, ruffling his hair with hands as they pulled him closer to deepen the kiss.
When Heero dropped his hands to Duo's waist, Duo clearly took it as an invitation to move closer, and Heero thought he'd never felt anything quite so fantastic as that body melted against his. It made him feel helpless and wonderful... and really, really fucking hard.
"Shit...!" Heero hissed against Duo's lips as Duo's hands found his ass, pressing their hips together and Heero could hardly handle the sensation. Never had he felt like that. Nothing he had ever done to himself had ever felt as good as Duo's hips rocking against his own, creating a delicious, unbearable friction that threatened to overwhelm all common sense.
He had thought, when he let himself think that he might ever one day actually have sex, that he might be nervous. He wondered about how to negotiate who would be on top, and whether they should use protection, and a hundred other various things he couldn't possibly prepare for until it was actually happening. It might've been the alcohol but he was pretty sure that it was because he was with Duo that none of that mattered. He trusted Duo. Duo would teach him what to do. Duo would show him.
And to true form, Duo took the lead, his hands trailing up under Heero's shirt and Heero's kisses became hard and insistent, bruising with their intensity. He locked his hands on the back of Duo's head, fingers slipping into his hair, holding him in place so that he could never escape. Duo's fingers at his waistband, his hands fumbling with his belt buckle caused his hips to jerk forward, needy and desperate. God, how could he have never realized how badly he wanted him?!
His lips faltered as he felt Duo's fingers unzippering his pants and Duo's teeth began nibbling on his bottom lip, nipping across his jaw up to his ear. Duo's hand slipped through his boxers at the same time his tongue reached his ear lobe, hot breath sighing into his ear, and he felt embarrassed at how close he was to coming. He groaned in spite of himself and buried his head in Duo's neck, Duo's mouth moving down his neck to bite the juncture at his shoulder as he stroked him.
Duo forced him backwards onto the bed. They kissed sloppily, fueled by lust and inebriation, one of Heero's hands cradling the back of Duo's head as the other slid under that tight t-shirt to the small of his back, fingers moving against scared skin as he pressed Duo's body against his own.
Duo's hands were back on his pants, trying to tug them down but Heero wrapped his arms around his partner and was dragging them both further onto the bed in a series of only half-effective rolls and shimmies as he was reluctant to let his lips leave Duo's even for half a second. Duo laughed against his lips due to the manhandling and it filled Heero with delight.
He managed through some miracle to get Duo's pants undone and they lay side by side, facing each other, stroking each other clumsily through open pants as they moaned and panted into one another's open mouths, tongues flirting, hips grinding until they both came and fell quickly into blissful, drunken sleep.
When Heero awoke, light was streaming through the window and he was still fully dressed – minus the unzippered pants – and he wasn't alone. He turned his head slightly and stared in near disbelief at Duo snoring lightly in bed next to him. He seemed to have somehow acquired all the pillows during the night despite Heero himself sleeping like the dead. It kind of made him smile a little as he got out of bed carefully to take a shower.
By the end of the shower he regretted getting out of bed at all as doubt overwhelmed him and he anxiously wanted to reaffirm that Duo didn't think they'd made a mistake. And if he did... It was pretty tame, right? What they did? They could sweep it under the rug – what's a drunken hand job between friends? But he didn't really want to think that way. What he wanted... What he wanted was to have that every night. Maybe not that, specifically, but... dinner – with Duo. Conversation – with Duo. Kissing – with Duo – and bed – with Duo – and yeah, sex with Duo would be great too... if last night was any indication.
He suddenly felt uncomfortable walking back into his bedroom naked although he never had felt uncomfortable in front of Duo before so he brushed it off and forced himself to open the door. Duo moaned when he walked in and Heero was somewhat anxious about what that meant.
"Fuck 'Ro – your bed is so comfortable."
Heero bit back a smile as he sat down on the edge of it, eyes scanning over that lithe, muscled body, shirt riding up, hair messy, eyes closed in some pathetic attempt to hold on to sleep.
"Always figured you'd have some kinda masochistic military grade mattress or something," Duo teased, eyes cracking open to appraise him.
"So you'll come back?" Heero replied nervously, feeling vulnerable but not letting himself back away from Duo's eyes.
"At this point, I might never leave," Duo chuckled.
Hearing his typical teasing tone made Heero feel like everything really was okay. Duo sat up and moved over next to him, putting a hand on his cheek and evaluating him seriously.
"We were drunk," Duo started and Heero's heart fell. He couldn't help but look away, unsure of what to say to salvage... whatever could be salvaged. "I mean, if you want an out."
Heero looked back up and saw the cautious way Duo studied him, chewing on his lip, and he smirked as he leaned forward and kissed Duo thoroughly. He was never very good with words, but actions...
"So you don't want out?" Duo asked, his lips curling into a grin against Heero's own. Heero shook his head and tried to restart the kiss but Duo backed up slightly and kept talking. "I gotta warn ya, my track record with boyfriends isn't that great..."
Heero growled, grabbing Duo's t-shirt to pull him back into the kiss. "But none of them were me."