Jasper Jacks was not
a man who took things for granted. He didn't take his possessions lightly. Not
that he looked at his wife Alexis as a possession. But he'd already lost
everything once this lifetime – he had no intention of it ever happening again.
And that was one of the reasons he married Alexis. When he returned from places
unknown searching for Brenda – he brought with him a secret. She was alive. And
healthy. And moving on with her life. His former fiancée was living happily on
the small island of Puerto Rico. Jax had known she and Corinthos made some good
memories there.
She faked her death. Or maybe she just chose to stay dead. Either way, he'd
seen her smiling and laughing – she'd never been so carefree. And all he could
do was turn and walk away. Brenda wanted out, so Jax loved her enough to walk
away.
Deep down he'd always known it was Sonny. Jax could never quite make her smile
like the mobster could. But he never made her cry that way either. The passion
– it just wasn't there. Not the same way. He was her safe place. Jax put her
back together when she thought the whole world was gone. But it was always
Sonny.
The parallels between Brenda and Elizabeth weren't lost to him. Lucky Spencer
had mended Elizabeth's soul. She told it like he'd found her broken and then
proceeded to glue the pieces of her back together again. He understood – Jax
had done the same for Brenda. After the would-be wedding to Sonny, Brenda had
been destroyed. She'd gone crazy. But every moment before that… it was Sonny.
And now, it was the same for Elizabeth. Just as Lucky had done for her, she
pulled Jason from the snow and begged him to live. Lucky could have given her a
good life, but Jason was the one who made her blood sing. Jason was the one Elizabeth
lived and, Jax feared, would someday die for.
"Is this a private party, or can anyone join?" His wife's voice cut
through his thoughts.
Jax turned to find her on the last stair, gripping the banister to maintain
balance. Her left hand was resting on her swollen belly. At eight months she
was absolutely glowing. "Come sit with me?" he asked.
Instead of waiting for her at the couch, Jax stood and approached her. Alexis
gripped his hand as she slowly made her way down the last step. "Thank
you."
Walking behind her, Jax matched his steps to her slow, well thought out
movements. A large part of him wished she would agree to inducing the labor,
but since neither she nor their son was in danger, Alexis had all but refused.
After he settled her against the arm of the sofa and propped her feet on the
cushions, he walked around the couch and sat. Gently, he lifted her feet into
his lap. Alexis smiled in relief. "Are they asleep?"
"Yeah." Alexis' eyes closed as she relaxed against the soft couch.
She frowned when she felt Jax lift her legs. "Will you stay with me?"
"I was going to. I just wanted to know if you wanted anything first."
Her eyes opened and she looked at him. "No. Please, sit back down."
"Okay." Obliging her, he slipped her feet back into his lap.
"Better?"
"Yes."
"How many times did you have to read the story?"
"Three," Alexis laughed. "But they're asleep."
Jax's hands gently gripped her ankle as he began to softly rub her right foot.
They had been swollen for most of the pregnancy, and this was almost a nightly
ritual for them. He would massage them, or put lotion on them, or just sit
there with her feet in his lap, while they talked.
"Mmm." Alexis closed her eyes again. "That feels so
good."
He only smiled, content to sit in silence.
After several minutes, Alexis began to worry when he didn't say anything.
"What's up?" she asked.
"Nothing." He looked away from his hands to her face. "Why does
something have to be up?"
"You're quiet."
"It was just a long day, Lexi. Everything is fine."
She began to push herself up on her elbows, slightly frustrated with how
immobile she had become. "Do you want to go up to bed?"
"No."
Her brow furrowed with worry. "Jax–"
"I was thinking about Brenda," he admitted.
"Oh."
Jax didn't notice the sudden deflation in his wife's voice or the way her left
foot pulled away from him. "What makes women like them love men who are no
good?"
"Women like who?"
"Brenda and Elizabeth."
Alexis sighed deeply. "Jax, we've talked about this–"
"It's not what you think." He pulled her foot into his lap again.
"Corinthos and Morgan? They don't deserve love."
"They're human, Jax. They deserve to be loved."
"They're thugs, Lexi. Common criminals."
"Jax–"
"This isn't about you. I've given up trying to reason with you about your
job. I just – Alexis, they don't deserve the love they get. Morgan left
Elizabeth for two years—while she was pregnant—and she went back to him."
"And I almost married Ned. You went traipsing across the globe looking for
Brenda– Jax, haven't you learned that it doesn't matter how
we get there, only that
we get there."
"It's not the same."
"It is," she insisted. Alexis rubbed her left hand over her stomach
and sighed. "Do you love this baby?"
"Lexi."
"Do you?"
"Yes."
"And if he dies? If he is never born? What then?"
"Don't say that."
"Loving someone is dangerous, Jax. You of all people should know that –
you lost Brenda to Sonny and then again to her mother."
"It's not the same."
"Before Abby, Jason had never lost anyone. He has been surrounded by love
since the moment he woke up from the coma. Sometimes love he didn't want. And
then Abby comes along – this beautiful, perfect child that Jason and Elizabeth
created from their love – and then they think she dies because of his
lifestyle. He couldn't deal, Jax."
His hand tightened around her foot as he shook his head. "I would never
leave you."
Her smile was sad. "Jason promised that too, I'm sure. But we never know
what we're going to do until we're faced with a situation." Taking a
moment, she pushed her hair away from her face. "I mean… if Brenda was
suddenly alive, I'm not sure I could really hold you to the promises you made
me. She was the love of your life, Jax. I would want you to be happy because I
love you."
"You are
the love of my life, Alexis Davis. There's no question about it."
"You say that now… but back then, it was completely different. Things
change, and we ended up in places where we never thought we'd be, loving people
we never thought we'd love. Jason and Elizabeth are the perfect example."
His hand smoothed up and down her leg and he had to wonder if she really
thought that. If she was really convinced that he'd leave… "Do you think I
would go to her?"
"I know you love me."
"Do you think I would go to her? If she was alive?"
"Honestly? No. I think you healed yourself long ago."
"I was never 'it' for her, Lexi. And while I loved her, I always knew
that."
"Because you weren't Sonny?" she questioned.
"Part of it. Brenda came to me when she was broken. Because Sonny was
married to Lily, or because Sonny left her at the altar. It was never because
she wanted to be with me. All of her actions were because of Sonny. We both
deserved more than that."
"Yes, you did."
"And I loved her. For a very long time… she consumed my entire life. But
then… then I found you. Somehow I ended up married to you, even though there
was the thing with Chloe. And I still couldn't see you. I couldn't see what was
right there all along. After I left Chloe… I can't tell you, Alexis. It took a
lot for me to come back here. But you were one of the reasons. Maybe even the
biggest reason."
"Jax–"
"No," he cut in. "I need to tell you something. But first… first
I need you to tell me that you know I love you. That when I promised that I
wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, you knew that I meant it."
"Jax, you're scaring me."
"Tell me you know I want to be with you."
"Of course I know," she promised him. "We're married, we're
about to have a son. We're family Jax. You're my best friend, my other half,
you're who I look forward to seeing at the end of the day."
He could only hope she'd say the same thing after he told her the truth. Jax
smiled at the tears in Alexis' eyes, and had to look away to blink back his
own. He swallowed unsteadily before he said, "Brenda's alive."
Alexis gasped and felt the baby kick. She squeezed her eyes shut at the pain
that was suddenly gripping her body. It was…a contraction.
"Jax," she whispered.
He still wasn't looking at her. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth,
Lexi."
"Jax," she gasped.
He heard the despair in her voice and turned to face her. Her dress was wet and
his eyes widened. It couldn't be…
"Jax, I think my water just broke."