It was merciless; it was relentless and of all this it was downright crappy. The Afterlife was not at all as miraculous as Bonnie Bennett had tried to imagine it to be. In fact, it downright sucked. She would spend hours just watching her friends live their lives as she sat in the background whispering sweet nothings in their ears. This wasn't the life she was supposed to lead, this was not her destiny, yet as she sat there in the college dorm watching Caroline and Elena talk about class schedules and their latest gossips, all she could do was blink a unrushed and translucent tear. She didn't always see her grams, that was what she didn't know, being on the other side was not easy, sometimes she was separated from grams for days, a simple thought could send either one away at a moment's notice. That was how ghosts traveled from place to place. If Bonnie thought of the Mystic grill a little too much she would appear smack in the center of someone's date. This always made her laugh a little; being able to watch things she never had much time for whilst alive. Then when she would go looking for grams, she'd be missing as well. In truth, most of the time, Bonnie was alone, alone and miserable, hanging onto and living vicariously through Jeremy Gilbert.

Elena smiled as she flipped through her text messages, reading over one from Damon naturally. Bonnie found herself rolling her eyes.
"Huh, so I guess you picked Damon," she murmured, but of course, Elena could not hear this. Bonnie folded her arms, walked around the room and sat on the window seat where Caroline was sitting at her laptop working on a paper.
"So I die and you suddenly start working on your grades?" Bonnie found a soft chuckle was escaping from her mouth and she leaned back in the seat and quietly observed Caroline with Elena. They seemed different, happy, she liked to see them this way, of course they thought she was spending the summer with her mother and she had never come home. Lowering her head, Bonnie felt a rush of guilt and sorrow flash across her face. How had she made Jeremy keep this from them? How had she allowed them to go all this time not knowing the truth?
"Hey, want to go catch a movie or something? I'm totally done working on this for tonight?" Caroline tossed her laptop to the side of the window seat and looked up at Elena who had started to stand the moment she spoke.
"Yea, It will help me get my mind off things, "Elena muttered as she strode through the room, slinging her purse over her shoulder.
"You miss Damon huh?" Caroline stood at the door, getting her car keys from the shelf, she turned her head as blond ringlets framed her face perfectly and frowned sympathetically.
"Yea, I mean it's not easy having to be so far away from him all the time, I know he stayed behind to watch after Jeremy and I am so thankful for that but," Elena cut off mid-sentence and lowered her head. Caroline, who was standing at the door, walked over to Elena, took the girls hands and playfully dragged her from the room.

Bonnie stood from the window seat fast, walked along the room to follow them , but all too suddenly, the dorm room door slammed in her face making her blink rapidly as it closed. With a soft sigh, Bonnie stood behind the door, trying to open it, but her hands not able to fully grip the knob. For a few moments bonnie stood motionless, then she thought of Elena's words. Why was Damon watching out for Jeremy? Were they actually living together in the Salvatore house? But most importantly why didn't she know, what was she always missing? How had Jeremy kept his connection to Damon hidden from her and why? Bonnie shook her head slowly, confusion clouded her features and she sat down right on the bed. With a gentle sounding sigh and a quick flick of her hand, Bonnie closed her eyes and thought of Damon. To this day, she doesn't really know why he was her first thought, but still, her thoughts all raced to him, and in a matter of seconds, Bonnie was standing in the Living room of the Salvatore house. Damon was sat on the sofa by the fireplace drinking from a glass of bourbon, his hands holding it on his knee, his long, pale fingers entwined around the width of the glass, and a long, drawn look on his face. Bonnie sat next to him slowly, turned her face towards his and murmured; "What's gotten to you?"
Silence answered. Of course, he couldn't here hear her, I mean , after all, she was the dead girl in the room. Still, Bonnie sat with Damon at her side for what seemed like hours but was only some long minutes.
"Damon, I know you can't hear me but, what's wrong"? Bonnie furrowed her brows again in time to hear the words.
"Where are you Stefan?" Damon lifted his glass, talking to himself before taking a long sip.
"Stefan?"- Jeremy strode into the room suddenly, spotted Bonnie sitting so close to Damon and with almost a look of jealousy, shot bonnie a dry look. Bonnie gulped down slowly, moved some small inches away from Damon and looked between the two of them.
"Something is off with him, he said he was leaving town but it's not like him to not check in," Damon frowned, rushed his hands through his hair, and looked up at Jeremy.
"You think something happened?" Jeremy was walking towards where Bonnie sat, sat between her and Damon and peered over at the blue eyed vampire. What could have happened to Stefan? Bonnie scoffed letting out a little huff. Of course Stefan would leave, Damon was his brother and had stolen his girlfriend, not once but two times.
"Sounds to me like your brother just got fed up with you," Bonnie muttered before standing and walking around the room, she placed her hands on her hips, still stuck in the short black dress she had been wearing when the veil went back up and she paced around the room fast,
"I mean, you stole Elena from him, he's hurt Damon, maybe he doesn't want you to find him." With a quick and frustrated sigh, Bonnie turned on her heal; she was wasting her time, what was the point? No one could hear her aside from Jeremy and he had gotten better at ignoring her whilst other people were around. After all, it was always awkward when he would be caught talking to himself, staring into space and laughing at nothing.

Damon Furrowed his brows just then, looked around the room and frowned slightly, everything went quiet, Bonnie turned around slowly, and Jeremy was staring at her, as if her sudden outburst had shocked him. She had never been so vocal about the infamous love triangle. Then again Bonnie had always been nose deep in her spell book, she never really concentrated on the other things and part of her regretted that now. But she had been a ghost for two months now. She had a lot of time to think about things, to dissect her friends life's, to realize how much she had lost. She didn't like it. Nothing made any sense anymore. The sad truth was simple really, Bonnie didn't want to be dead, she missed being alive and here were her friends, living the time of their lives whilst her body rotted in the basement of the old witches house and her youth was lost on her.
I'm becoming bitter, The thought raced through Bonnies head and she looked over to Jeremy and Damon. She walked back slowly, sat quietly and lowered her head.
"That was weird," Damon frowned slowly. "It's like..-"Damon stopped talking in mid-sentence, looked at Jeremy and sighed slightly. As he stood from the sofa, he walked through the room to the place where Bonnie had just been standing. With a very slight sigh and an almost unseen smirk, Damon turned back to Jeremy.
"What is it Damon?" Jeremy asked, acting innocent to the situation, the whole time his eyes darting to Bonnies. Bonnie had curled her fingers into her palms making tiny fists. There was no way Damon had heard her. There was no way he had sensed her. No one knew she was even dead. Bonnie gulped slowly, one of her soft and silky curls fell into her eyes and she pushed it back with her slender fingertips. She looked over to Damon and caught him looking back, only his gaze was over her shoulder, his icy blue topaz eyes focused elsewhere.
"Funny, I just thought of Bonnie." Damon shook his head, looked over at Jeremy and smiled crookedly.

Oh shit, Shit, shit Shit, Bonnie thought. What does he mean by that? Did he hear me? How could he have? There's no way. I don't know., Bonnies thoughts were racing.- Did I do something, I mean, I know I have some small powers left within my spirit, but can I really be so determined that someone would sense me?

"What do you mean 'You thought of Bonnie'? " Jeremy watched Damon carefully, his eyes glancing to Bonnie and he didn't need to say a single word to the little ghost girl. Bonnie knew what that stare meant, it meant: Go away Bonnie. He didn't use this face a lot with her, only when she was getting too obvious, only when she made it too hard for him to function in a conversation with her loud, mindless ramblings. Bonnie looked up at Damon then to the younger gilbert and started walking out.
"I just, it was like I could imagine one of her witty remarks-"Damon began as Bonnie closed her eyes and imagined another place. Bonnie let a soft sigh slip her lips as a cool breeze rose up her spine, traced her curves and gently tickled the vertebrates of her spine.

Everything was quiet; this was the kind of Quiet Bonnie loved. Her eyes were closed as she lay on her old bed. In the distance, she could hear her father watching a program on the television, the owl that used to sit atop the tallest branch in the tree outside her window tooting, and the sound of the breeze. At times like this, Bonnie would come back to her old room, lay in this same spot and pretend, if only for a little while that she was still alive. But she wasn't alive. She was dead and she was holding on. She should have moved on by now but something kept her from doing it. Something kept her on this plane, this earth, it was simple and yet it was so complicated. Love kept Bonnie here. Slowly a tear crept down the slope of her cheek, she wiped it furiously, heard her father's doorbell ring and she stood up fast. All she had to do was think of her living room and she was there. This was something she had taken for granted. Her Father had been under the same impression that she was spending the summer with her mother, but summer was over and she hadn't come home yet. Sooner or later Abby would call for Bonnie, the truth would come out.
What if I lose my room?

By the time Bonnie appeared in the living room, Sheriff Forbes was already stood in the doorway with glistening eyes. Bonnie turned her head, a sick feeling crept over her, it fled into her core, she wasn't ready for this, but the look in Caroline's Mothers eyes said it was all about to boil over. With a soft sigh, Bonnie touched her chest. If she was still alive, her heart would be beating so fast. Bonnie was worried, scared, petrified this had happened. When she had died there was a small time in which she had her powers back. The preservation spell was simple, she had kept her body fresh, and she had kept it that way in case somehow, someway she could find a way back. When she had put the veil up, the only reason the spell didn't break was because it was her magic used on her own body. Jeremy had hid her in such a good spot, the old house where the witches were burned. She had always thought, maybe somehow in the future she might find a way back, but she never thought it was going to drag past a week, let alone months. But as Bonnie stood there now, she knew what had happened.
"Rudy, I don't know how to say this," Mrs. Forbes when still, looked around the room, took a deep breath and then slowly gripped his arm. Bonnie's father looked ahead; clearly his fright was etched across his face, his brows were furrowed and he blinked slowly as he gripped the wall nearest him.
"What is it Liz?"
no no no.. Bonnie yelled in her head. She screamed, she cried, dry sobs, no tears fled her lifeless body.. Bonnie tried to grab the door, but her hands couldn't grip it, and in the slight second that they did, she was not strong enough to budge it an inch. Horror crept across the girls face as she stepped back, anger flowed in her veins , it was rising in such a high velocity that she couldn't contain it.
" A group of kids broke into an abandon house for a party and they found a body. Bonnies body. " Liz stepped closer, pat his shoulder and blinked slowly. Bonnie felt her non beating heart break but she didn't even have a chance to hear her father's reaction. This was because everything in the room was on fire and just as fast it was all out and she was gone.

Damon stood in the parlor of his home, his fingers were locked tightly around a glass of bourbon, the drink was heavy on his breath. With an abrupt sigh, he flung the glass across the room and it shattered amongst the fire place. There was something in his eyes, it was everything he had been fighting, it was everything he had been denying. Damon was full of grief and as he stood there, seemingly alone in the world, tiny droplets slipped from his eyes. That was a shock to even Damon himself. Damon Salvatore did not cry much, no, Damon got mad. He would get mad and kill; this was what he had done for all this time. Now , however, Damon couldn't kill, he refused to because he knew Bonnie would never want that Bonnie, with her deep green eyes, her childlike laughter, and her fierce determination.
Damon took a seat on his sofa and narrowed his eyes. He had lost track of how much time had passed since Sheriff Forbes had informed him of the witches passing. He had wanted to be alone and this was why. He couldn't let people see how this affected him. Strength was never on his side, but this time it would have to be. But there was a pit in his stomach, kind of that feeling you get before you take an important test in school, and it was strong. How could Bonnie be gone? She had been there through everything, always at his side and now she had vanished so suddenly, ripped from all their lives.
I was supposed to protect her.
This thought kept racing through Damons mind; he failed Bonnie, the girl who never failed anybody.
He was sad, pure sadness to such an extreme that he almost lost himself inside of it. Bonnie was dead.
The words rang in his head, it was always there, and haunting him, the moments in the day dragged on, until the hour was turning into tomorrow, until the eyes in his head rolled back with exhaustion. No one even bothered to talk to him, he had made it obvious he wanted to be alone and no one had given him hell for it. Looking forward, Damon leaned his head down onto his knees, his arms rested on both sides of his head. That was when it happened, deep in the core of Damon's heart, something beat. It wasn't a realization but more of a reminder of something Damon had known all along but never really paid attention to. He loved Bonnie.

Bonnies breath was on his ear only he could not feel it, her gaze was locked on him and he could not see it, her hand holding his and he could not grasp it. Her eyes widened as she sat next to this man she had never known cared so much. Her heart was hurting, her ,well she really did not have a heart anymore ,but she knew if she could feel , if she wasn't at the point where she had cried all her tears she would be crying alongside with him. But Bonnie had wept, she had cried, in fact, every moment of the day had been so cold and unmoving, and she was becoming numb to it all. She was becoming a shadow and she didn't fight it anymore. Maybe this was the end. Maybe this was what happened when you held on too long. Maybe she would just fade.
"You should have told me." Damons voice was like acid and ice as Jeremy walked in, Bonnie snapped out of her thoughts, lowered her head, sighed deeply and looked to Jeremy.
"She didn't want that." Jeremy said with a strong tone. If Bonne blinked she would have missed it, but Damon had sped Jeremy into the wall, his hands wrapped around the teenagers neck as his eyes veined with a horrific look. Damon was mad and there was no reasoning with Damon Salvatore when he was angry.
" I don't care." He dropped Jeremy down to the floor, looked around the room and his eyes danced over to where Bonnie was stood. He could not see her, but he still looked as though he had caught her attention.
"I know you're here somewhere. I'm going to bring you back Simple as that." The vampire's words rang out in Bonnies head, and she stood there frozen as a statue. Somewhere, in the distance, her body lay in the morgue, her father lay weeping, and her friends grieving, Somewhere, deep inside Bonnie, something sparked and the dead girl who couldn't quite cry anymore, shed a tear.