Disclaimer: I own nothing, Jon Snow. Jo Rowling is supreme queen of the Wizarding World. Artwork by phil-the-stone on tumblr. All lyrics from 'Rumour Has It' by ADELE.

A/N: So, I'm going to make this the only author's note (or at least I'll try to). I guess it shouldn't have more than 5-6 chapters, and it's inspired by 'Rumour Has It'. Make of that what you will. If I'm completely honest, the purpose of publishing this story is to publish a one-shot that I'm REALLYREALLYREALLY happy with. So just go with it, guys. Also, this doesn't have as much Jily as you probably hoped. Don't be said, my friends. Remember *the* one-shot, and believe me when I say it totally makes up for any lack of Jily. Anyway. JUST GO WITH IT GUYS OKAY PLEASE. These chapters are going to be pretty short, between 2000-4000 words.

I haven't entirely abandoned The Immortal Years, but this story's been coming on for a long time. And I'm really excited about it, believe me. So, I present to you - Rumours.

A huge thank-you to Stef and Paige for discussing the concept with me, encouraging me and being supportive when I moaned about writer's block. This one's for T - my superbly enthusiastic buddy, and *the* one-shot's first and only reader.

"She, she ain't real,
She ain't gon' be able to love you like I will."

October, 1977

"Hey, Lily," Michael said, tapping the redhead's shoulder. "I'll walk you back." It wasn't a question, and her small frown told him that she knew, and didn't like it. He didn't say anything to placate her this time, though. He'd made up his mind.

"Yeah, coming." She waved at her friends, and walked back towards him. He could see Mary Macdonald and Marlene McKinnon shooting him glares over her shoulder. He wasn't surprised; they'd never liked him. It made him rather uncomfortable. He was a charming, good-looking bloke, and he wasn't used to being disliked. He got the feeling that it was going to become a lot worse hereafter.

They walked out of the Great Hall in silence, the last few students stumbling up the stairs slowly. The back of her hand brushed his occasionally, but he didn't hold it. He wondered idly what she thought of it. She wasn't stupid. He started up one of the staircases, and got to the sixth step before he realised she wasn't following.

"Are you coming?" he asked pointedly. She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at him. He knew that look; it meant they'd be standing there arguing for no short period of time.

"Why are we going up this way?" she demanded. He'd chosen that staircase on purpose, because it led to both Gryffindor and Ravenclaw Towers. It wasn't the shortest way to drop Lily off, but it was the quickest escape route for him. So he was a coward. He'd never claimed to be otherwise.

Michael shrugged. "Why not?"

She opened her mouth and shut it again. "This isn't the shortcut."

"No, it isn't." He was beginning to get annoyed. "I just wanted to talk, all right?"

Lily put her hands on her hips. "So talk."

He rolled his eyes, and her eyes narrowed. "Can't we go somewhere more private?"

"Whatever you want to say can be said here," she said stubbornly.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," he muttered. Taking a deep breath, he said, "I think it's time for us to take a break."

Her eyes widened. He realised that she really hadn't expected it. Had he been the only one to realise how strained their relationship had become? They fought more than they talked normally. She'd openly admitted that she preferred the Marauders' company to his. And he'd been feeling rather strange around Jenny Mulligan lately. Could she have really missed all that? She shook her head slowly. "As in... until the Christmas hols?" she asked. "Or a more permanent kind of break?"

He didn't hesitate before speaking. "The permanent kind."

"Where's Lily?" James Potter's voice cut through the seventh-years' loud chatter. The conversation faded, and everyone exchanged glances. Mary Macdonald looked at him curiously.

"Dunno, I saw her with Michael Gray before dinner," she said, watching his expression darken slightly. "Why do you ask?" she said, though she knew full well why.

"No reason," he muttered, turning back to his Transfiguration homework.

Mary shrugged. "She'll be fine. They can handle the Slytherins."

"That isn't what I - never mind," he said quickly as the portrait swung open and Lily stepped into the Common Room. "Hey!" he called to her.

Mary turned to look at her friend, and she instantly got to her feet. The fact that Lily was shielding her face with her curtain of red hair was enough to ring alarm bells in her head. Lily's hands were curled into fists at her sides, and her arms were shaking.

"Is everything-" James began. Mary darted in front of Lily.

"Everything's fine," she chirped. She threw an SOS glance at their other friend, Marlene McKinnon, who gave her a discreet nod. "See you later!"

"I thought you wanted help with Transfiguration," he said, his eyes still on Lily.

"I'll just ask Lily. Right, Lils?" Mary said.

"Yeah, I'll - I'm just gonna go lie down, okay?" Lily said, her voice strangled. Mary took her by the elbow, blocking her from James's view.

"That's a great idea!" she said loudly, covering Lily's shaky breaths. She threw a glance over her shoulder at the table as they climbed up the stairs. James looked confused, raising his eyebrows at her. She just shook her head. She had the feeling this was going to be very, very bad.

The moment they entered the dorm - which was, luckily, empty - Mary charmed the door shut and sat Lily down on the nearest bed.
"You okay?" she said.

Lily looked down, and said, "No." Mary could hear the tears in her voice. Sitting down beside her, she tucked Lily's hair behind her ear, revealing her splotchy face. Tear tracks ran down her cheeks, and her lower lip trembled when she shook her head.

"What happened? Was it the Slytherins? I'll hex their-"

"It wasn't them," Lily interrupted.

Mary stopped talking, puzzled. "Then..."

"Michael - he broke up with me." The tears spilled from her eyes then, and Mary wrapped her arms around Lily.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

Marlene woke up to the sound of yelling. She groaned and flopped onto her stomach, burying her face into her pillow. "For Merlin's sake-" she started to say, but then she realised two things. One, she was barely audible, and two, the voice was James Potter's. Instantly, she scrambled upright and poked her head past her scarlet hangings.

"What the devil's goin' on here?" she croaked.

James's shout of "I'LL HEX HIM TILL HE'S BALD!" drowned her out. Suddenly, the events of the previous night came back to Marlene. There had been much crying, on Lily's part, much insulting of The Git, on Mary's part, and many promises of revenge, from all three parties.

"Morning, Marlene," Mary said, sounding bemused.

"What's he doing here?" she asked, shouting to be heard over James's swearing.

Mary shrugged. "Apparently Sirius found out about The Git and Lily, and James just had to come check on her."

Marlene eyed the lanky, dark-haired Marauder. He was now pacing up and down their room, and did not seem to be doing much checking. He was muttering something about fluorescent pink. "So where's Lil?"

"In the shower. Don't worry, we're under Muffliato-"

"Muffliato?" said Lily's voice suddenly. She stepped out of the bathroom, curls of steam following her. Marlene smiled at her; except for her slightly red eyes, she looked as perfectly put together as usual. She was eyeing the three of them suspiciously. "What's going on here?"

"I was just - I was just going." Evidently the sight of Lily, fresh from a bath, so early in the morning, was too much for James. He dashed out of the room, and Marlene heard the distinct sound of someone falling, followed by a string of curse words.

Lily turned to the two of them. "Why was James here?"

"He came to ask you something about patrols," Mary said easily.

"Oh. Why'd he leave, then?"

"Enough of Potter," Marlene said quickly, getting out of bed. "You feeling better?"

"I'm not upset." Marlene exchanged a relieved glance with Mary, but her smile faded at Lily's next words. "I'm fucking furious."

"Er, what?" Mary said.

"You heard me." Lily picked up her bag, tossing bits of parchment into it. "I was up early, and I went down to the Owlery. Guess who I ran into?"

"Who?" Marlene said. Lily's enraged tone was worrying.

"Michael fucking Gray and Jenny fucking Mulligan playing tonsil hockey." Lily paused in her packing to throw an empty bottle of ink across the room. It hit the wall alarmingly close to Marlene's head, but she was too stunned to care.

"You're joking," Mary said, breaking the silence.

"Absolutely not. Bloody git."

"Maybe we should get James to hex him," mused Marlene. Lily froze at that.

"No," she said immediately. "No hexing of any sort."

"But Lil-" Marlene began pleadingly.

"I said no! I'm furious, so don't argue with me."

"Whatever you say," Mary said. "Shall we?"

Marlene followed them out of the dorm, and Lily slammed the door so hard that the wood cracked. "Ready as I'll ever be," she growled.

The three of them walked down to the Great Hall - or rather, Lily stomped, and Marlene and Mary walked. Marlene was rather proud that her friend wasn't sobbing over The Git again. But Lily was a strong, independent woman. She wasn't really the type to get overly emotional over shitty blokes. Satisfied that Lily didn't need too much concern, Marlene turned her attention to the gorgeous October morning visible through the windows. It was great weather for Quidditch. Hopefully if it kept up, they'd have a good game against Hufflepuff the following week...

Marlene's train of thought was abruptly derailed when she walked right into Lily's back. "What's wrong?" She peered over her friend's shoulder. It was quite impossible to miss the show at the Ravenclaw table. Marlene didn't know it was possible for two people to be so firmly entwined in each other. It would take great flexibility, she imagined.

"I can't go in there," Lily said.

"You have to," Mary said, "if you want to eat."

"You can get me food."

Marlene placed her hands on Lily's shoulders and pushed her forward. "Don't be silly. Come on, you were ready to hex him two minutes ago! You're Head Girl! A role model for eleven-year-old Hogwarts girls everywhere."

Lily squared her shoulders. "You're right. I'm stronger than that." It was rather hard to hear her over the happy couple's giggles, though. Marlene made a face.

"For the record, Lil, you never looked that disgusting when you and The Git were getting it on."

Mary shot her an annoyed glance. "Speak not of those unholy times."

"He dumped me for Jenny Mulligan," Lily said faintly.

"Eyes on the prize," Marlene said. "There are pancakes today!"

"I-"

"It's perfectly all right to be upset," Mary said, giving Marlene another look. "I'll bring your toast if you want-"

"But then he'll know that he's won!" Marlene interrupted.

"This isn't a game," Lily said wearily.

Hearing her tone, Marlene softened. "I know you don't want it to be, Lil, but he's playing it. Stay strong!"

"It's bloody unfair," she muttered, sitting down finally. "If I were to move on the very next day, I'd become a slag. But blokes can get away with murder for all the gossiping bitches care-"

"I actually agree," cut in Remus Lupin. Lily looked pleasantly surprised. "Society judges birds a lot more harshly than blokes."

"And there you have it," said Lily triumphantly. "In my opinion, he's an absolute manwhore."

Suddenly, Sirius started guffawing. He laughed so hard, he nearly fell out of his seat. Peter's laughter joined his, and Remus tried and failed to hide a smile.

"What?" Lily swivelled around in her seat. The moment Marlene saw what they were looking at, she began to laugh too. Michael Gray had words scrawled in bright pink letters all over him - Marlene recognised 'slut', 'whore' and 'slag'. Across his forehead was the loud proclamation: I AM A MANWHORE. BEWARE.

"That's - I'm sorry, Lily, but that's hilarious," Mary giggled. Lily just stared, her mouth open in a perfectly round O. Marlene immediately stopped laughing.

"She said no hexing," she explained to the Marauders, who tried to assume serious expressions. Lily got to her feet and walked to the Ravenclaw table, almost as if she were in a dream. Mary made as if to follow her, but Marlene held her back.

"Wait for a moment."

They all watched as Lily pulled out her wand, and traced pink letters onto his back. P.S: I AM A TOTAL WANKER.

And then she walked out of the Great Hall to uproarious applause.

"Let's see what the rumour mill makes of that," said Marlene proudly.

"Sure, she's got it all

But, baby, is that really what you want?"