A/N: Well, this is it everyone. The last chapter.
Before I go on, I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you to every single one of you who have read, reviewed, favorited, and followed this story. I mean, this story has almost 100 reviews! Unbelievable. This was the first story I've ever even written, besides stuff for school but that doesn't count, and I didn't think anyone would read it much less like it! Truly, it really has meant so much to me that you guys have taken the time out of your lives to read this little story of mine and I have thoroughly enjoyed reading all of your thoughts and opinions. I really appreciate all of the support you guys have shown this story!
And without further ado, here is the final chapter.
Enjoy!
Chapter 7 - Whatever You Want
~I want you to stay~
Jackson slowly opened his eyes. He was still half asleep and not really sure exactly where he was. The bright sun was blinding. He felt a warm body next to him and noticed that his arm was wrapped around someone. He forced himself to open his eyes completely and he found a lock of bright red hair standing out from the white pillow sheets. He immediately smiled a sleepy smile when he saw her still sleeping in her bed. He remembered where he was now. He was at April's apartment, having spent the night over yesterday.
Three weeks had gone by since he and April had reconciled in San Francisco. Now, they were back in Seattle and things were going great, better than great actually. They were inseparable. They did pretty much everything together and he never left her side.
They had stayed true to their word and had not slept together, but they were staying over at each other's apartments every so often. Sometimes things got a little too heated and they had to step on the brakes. It was hard sometimes to stop himself when she was kissing him and when she looked so good, but he managed. In truth, he just wanted to be close to her and to make up for all the lost time.
April let out a little snore and turned in her sleep. Now she was facing him. He studied her sleeping face. Ever since they had started sleeping in the same bed, he couldn't help but notice how innocent and peaceful she looked in her sleep. She looked like a beautiful angel and he couldn't help but stare. He was an early riser and he would always wake up before she did. He didn't know how long he would just stay there in bed looking at her while she slept. He felt like a creeper, but he couldn't help himself. Luckily, she hadn't caught him in the act yet.
Then all of a sudden she opened her eyes and he found himself staring into those big, beautiful eyes of hers. She looked wide awake which led him to believe that she had been awake for awhile already.
"Hey," he said, averting his gaze to the ceiling.
"Hey. How long have you been staring at me while I slept?" she questioned him with a smile.
"I – I wasn't staring," he stammered.
She giggled. "Sure you weren't."
"I wasn't," he huffed. "I was just admiring you. You look like a peaceful angel when you sleep."
She smiled and blushed.
"And you also snore," he added.
She laughed and smacked him on the chest. "I do not snore!"
He chuckled. "Yeah, you do. Don't worry though it's not a loud snore, more like a quiet, soft snore. It's actually really adorable."
"Whatever. I do not snore," she stated firmly, refusing to believe him.
"Okay, next time I'll record you and then you'll have to believe me."
She rolled her eyes playfully. "What time is it anyway?" she asked through a yawn. Jackson looked over at his clock. "It's seven."
"Seven? We have to leave for work in like thirty minutes! Why didn't you wake me?" she exclaimed anxiously as she forced herself to get up from the very comfortable bed.
"Relax. We still have plenty of time. Come here," he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back down on the bed. "You haven't even given me my good morning kiss," he pointed out with a pout.
She grinned and slowly leaned in to kiss him softly on the lips. Just as she was about to pull away, he grabbed her by the waist again and pulled her into him deepening the kiss. There was something about her that just intoxicated him. Whenever she kissed him, he didn't want to stop. Maybe it was because she smelled so good all of the time, like strawberries and a hint of vanilla. Or maybe it was her soft, smooth skin, or the way she liked to slightly tug on his bottom lip whenever she kissed him. Whatever it was, she was driving him crazy.
Before they could get even more lost into their kiss, April put a hand on his chest and reluctantly pulled away. "We should really start getting ready or we're gonna be late for work," she said breathlessly.
Jackson nodded, not trusting himself to speak just yet.
April happily hummed to herself as she walked into the hospital's cafeteria. For the first time in her life, everything seemed to be going just right. She was happy.
Work was going great. She had just performed a surgery that had gone very smoothly. Ever since she had taken her boards, she was getting to perform in a lot more surgeries than she previously had. She was still waiting on her board results, she literally checked her email every five minutes to see if her results had come in to no avail, but she actually had a very good feeling that she had passed this time around. She hadn't had a complete mental break down in the middle of her exam like she had the last time, nor had she went on to tell the instructors that she had just had sex with her best friend. So she was feeling pretty confident this time around.
Along with work going along great, her love life was going wonderfully as well. Being with Jackson is the best thing that has ever happened to her. He was so sweet, caring, understanding, and loving. It had only been three weeks since they had officially became a couple, but it felt they had been together forever.
When Jackson had said that he wanted to do things right this time around, he had sure meant it. April had never known that he could be such a romantic. He had taken her out on dates almost every night since they had gotten back from San Francisco. They had been on the classic movie and dinner date, he had taken her to expensive fancy restaurants, they had went bowling one night, they had visited the Space Needle, and they had even had a picnic on the beach. And when they hadn't gone out, Jackson had insisted on cooking for her. He had even surprised her by going the whole mile and buying her flowers and lighting candles.
He was definitely spoiling her, but she wasn't complaining. All of this was like a dream come true. She had finally met her prince charming that she had always dreamed of. She had to keep pinching herself to make sure it wasn't all just a dream.
April grabbed her lunch tray and immediately smiled when she spotted Jackson walking towards her with his own lunch in his hands.
"Hey babe," Jackson called out as he approached her.
"Babe?" she laughed.
He shrugged sheepishly. "I thought I'd try it out, see how it sounded."
"Well I like it. You sound sexy saying it," she smiled as she stood on her tippy toes to plant a quick peck on his cheek.
They both talked and laughed as they made their way to the table where the rest of their friends were already sitting.
"Ugh, can you two like seriously get a room or something," Cristina snapped with disgust as April and Jackson placed down their trays and sat down at the table.
"What? We were just talking," April replied innocently.
"Just talking? I can tell just by the way you two are looking at each other right now that all you're thinking about is ripping each other clothes off and jumping each other right here on this very table," Cristina accused as she squinted her eyes at them.
"Cristina!" April exclaimed. "We – We are not thinking such impure thoughts."
Jackson just shook his head and laughed under his breath.
"I'm with Yang on this one. I liked it way better when you two were just ignoring each other," Alex mumbled through a bite of his sandwich.
"Whatever man. Don't take it out on us just 'cause you and Jo got into a fight," Jackson teased.
"Whatever," was all Alex said.
Meredith rolled her eyes. "Oh, leave the two lovebirds alone. They deserve to be happy after all it took for them to finally confess how they really feel about each other."
"Thank you, Meredith. At least someone understands," April smiled.
"Whatever. In a few months you'll be sick of each other anyways. The fights will start, someone will cheat, and then before you know it he wants to have a kid out of no where and just screw everything up," Cristina spoke in a cold voice.
No one said a word after that. They just ate their lunch in silence.
April ate her lunch as quickly as possible, basically shoving her food down her throat. She hated the dark mood Cristina had just created and she couldn't help but wonder if she had a point. The past few weeks with Jackson had been perfect, a dream come true. But she wasn't delusional and she knew that things wouldn't stay like this forever. They hadn't even talked about kids. She knew that he wanted kids, but how soon? She wasn't ready to settle down just yet and start popping out babies. She still had many things that she wanted to do and places she wanted to see. And of course they would have to get married first.
Now there were so many thoughts going through her head and she didn't know how to express her worries to Jackson without sounding like a complete lunatic. Everything had been going so great that she didn't want to mess things up with her stupid insecurities.
April quickly stood up from the table with a half eaten lunch on her tray. All of a sudden, she wasn't hungry anymore.
"Hey, where are you going?" Jackson wondered.
"I – I just remembered that there's this thing I have to do. I'll see you later okay," April said with a strained smile. She turned and left before he could even get a word out.
"Okay," Jackson slowly muttered to no one in particular as he watched her briskly walk away.
April spotted Jackson down the hall and she quickly dodged into the girl's bathroom to avoid him. Thankfully, the bathroom was empty.
She could tell that he was looking for her, but she couldn't face him. Not yet. She had actually been trying to avoid him all day. She just couldn't find the nerve to tell him what all was going through her head right now.
In reality, she was freaking out. She was having another one of her mental breakdowns and she just needed some space. She still couldn't get what Cristina had said out of her head. It wasn't her exact words that scared her. She wasn't afraid of Jackson cheating on her because she knew that he was a one woman kind of guy. He was faithful and loyal and she trusted him more than anyone. And it wasn't about the kids either. She knew that he wanted kids and even though she wasn't ready to have kids right at this moment, she wanted them too.
What was freaking her out was the future. Jackson had told her that he wanted to get married and have kids with her eventually, but did he really mean that? And if he did, how could he be so sure that it would actually happen? Things didn't always turn out the way one planned them. April knew from personal experience that everything could change in an instant. One day you have something and then the next day it's gone. Just like that. Now that she actually had the man of her dreams, a man that actually loved her and she loved him back, she couldn't imagine how it would feel if she lost him one day. She didn't even really know what she had done to deserve him in the first place. How could a guy like Jackson ever even notice a girl like her, much less fall in love with her? That was something that she still didn't understand. Jackson had it all. He had the looks, brains, and personality. He could have any girl in the world. Why would he want to be with an average looking, self-conscious, crazy, Ohio farm girl like herself?
She knew that she shouldn't be thinking such self-deprecating thoughts, but she couldn't help it. Cristina's words had opened her eyes to reality. These past few weeks with Jackson had been great and all, but they were all a dream. Things weren't going to stay perfect forever, she knew that. It was time to open her eyes and face reality.
Her iPhone beeped, pulling her out of her dark thoughts for a moment. She took it out of her pocket and looked down to see that besides the handful of texts that Jackson had sent her which she had chosen to ignore, she also had an urgent message. She quickly entered her password to unlock the screen and went to her email.
Oh no, it was a message from the board staff. Her results were back.
Great, this was exactly what she needed right now. Another nervous break down on top of the one she was already having.
Her first instinct was to go find Jackson, so he could calm her down and read out the results for her. But then she thought better of it. Jackson would know something was wrong and he would want to know why she had been avoiding him all day. She wasn't sure she was ready to face him just yet. Besides, she wasn't feeling all that confident about her results anymore and the last thing she wanted was for Jackson to pity her if she indeed ended up failing yet again.
She could do this. Whatever the results were, she would handle it, she tried to convince herself. She closed her eyes, said a silent prayer, and took one last deep breath before opening the email.
Her eyes quickly scanned the small screen and she exhaled a huge sigh of relief as her shoulders slumped down.
She had passed.
This was great news. She should be happy right? Then why didn't she feel happy? She tried to smile but the smile faltered on her lips and her breath hitched in her chest. She looked to her side and she realized that the one person that she wanted to share this wonderful news with, was not by her side.
April looked up at herself in the mirror. She looked horrible. Her makeup was smeared from all the tears and her eyes were red and swollen. She splashed cold water on her face and dried her face with a towel. She looked up at the mirror again. She still looked like a mess, but she looked a little bit better. She took a deep breath to compose herself. She had to stop crying and she had to face Jackson.
Eventually.
April heard the door squeak open and turned around.
"Oh hey Ap – April what's wrong?"
April avoided Meredith's concerned eyes. "Nothing. I'm fine," she lied.
"No you're not," Meredith argued. "You've obviously been crying. Did you and Jackson get into a fight or –"
"No, Meredith. Everything is fine. Better than fine actually," she insisted as she made her way across the bathroom.
"Okay then," Meredith said slowly. "But April if you need someone to talk to, a friend, I'm here."
April turned her head around towards Meredith as her hand clutched the door's handle. "Thank you, Meredith," she smiled sincerely.
Then she walked out of the bathroom leaving a confused Meredith behind.
It was the end of Jackson's shift and he had not seen April at all since lunch. He had looked for her a few times throughout the day in between surgeries, but had had no luck in finding her. He had even texted her a few times asking her where she was and if she was okay, but she had never texted back. It was like she was avoiding him or something and he had no clue why. Everything had been going great between them up until lunch.
Now, he was walking aimlessly around the hospital looking for her once again. They had made it a routine to leave work together every night now and he wasn't about to leave tonight without her. He was determined to find her even if he had to search the whole hospital from top to bottom to do so.
He had already looked earlier in the on-call room that they usually snuck into, but he decided to try his luck one more time and check in there again. He opened the door slowly, hoping to find her there.
Fortunately, there she was. She was sitting down on the bed with her head leaned back onto the wall and she looked like she had been crying.
"April," Jackson said quietly, "what's going on? I've been looking for you all day. Why are you crying?" he asked gently, concern filling his voice, as he took a seat on the bed next to her.
April wiped her eyes. "I got my board results back."
"Oh no. You – You didn't –"
April interrupted him, "No. No, I did. I passed. I passed with flying colors actually."
"Oh. Well that's great, April. Congratulations. But, I don't understand. If you passed then why are you crying?" Jackson asked as he furrowed his brow in confusion.
April shrugged her shoulders and bowed her head, not saying anything.
"April c'mon, say something. I'm starting to get worried. If I did something wrong then just tell me. I'll fix it, I promise. Just please talk to me," he pleaded.
"No. God no, Jackson. You haven't done anything wrong," she said as she took his face in her hands. "You've been so wonderful and sweet. It's just me. I'm just being stupid and letting all these stupid thoughts get in my head."
"You're not stupid," he immediately corrected her. "What are you thinking? Let me in."
April dropped her hands in her lap and began fidgeting with her fingers.
Jackson gently lifted her chin up with the tip of his finger. "April, talk to me. Remember we said that we would tell each other everything from now on?"
April nodded and let out a breath. "You're right. I'm sorry. I just – I don't want to ruin everything. Everything has been going so perfect and I know I'm just gonna mess everything up. That's why I was avoiding you all day. I thought that I just needed some time alone to think to myself and I would feel better eventually and we wouldn't have to be having this conversation right now."
"Whatever it is that's bugging you just tell me. We'll get through it together. You're not gonna ruin anything. I promise," Jackson said firmly as he rubbed her knee in reassurance.
April nodded. "Okay, well do you remember earlier today at lunch when Cristina got all moody and started talking about how soon we're gonna start fighting and all that in a couple of months?"
"Oh, so that is what this is about," Jackson said in realization.
"Yeah," April nodded meekly.
"April, couples fight all the time. Things have been going pretty smoothly for us now, but I'm sure we'll find something to fight about soon enough. Besides fighting is good. That's when all the passion comes out and we get to make up," he said with a sly grin.
"Yeah, but everything else that she said -"
"What, about cheating? April, I swear that you will never have to worry about that with me. You know that right? I'm a strictly monogamous guy," he said seriously.
"No, I know," April sighed. "I don't mean that. Just everything that she said made me start thinking about the future. Where do you see us going Jackson? I mean, our future? Do you want to stay living in Seattle or move somewhere else? How soon do you want to have kids? How many kids do you want? Do you want a big wedding or a small wedding? A one story house or a two story house? Can you really see yourself spending the rest of your life with me? Because I can see myself spending the rest of my life with you and that scares me a lot. But if you don't then –"
He cut her off with a kiss.
He didn't know where all of this was coming from all of a sudden. Everything had been going great between them. He guessed that what Cristina had said must have really affected her. He should have known that it would have now come to think of it. April was pretty insecure at times, even though he knew that she had no reason to be.
He pulled back and put his hands on her shoulders. He noticed that she was shaking. "April breathe," he instructed.
She did as she was told.
After a few breaths she seemed to have calmed down, at least enough to stop the shaking.
"I want what you want," Jackson stated simply.
"What?" April asked, confused.
"Where we live. The kids. The wedding. The house. Whatever you want, that's what I want because whatever makes you happy makes me happy too."
He continued, "And not only can I see myself spending the rest of my life with you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I thought I had already made that clear, but now you know. Okay?" he asked as he searched her eyes.
April nodded as she brushed away her tears. "I'm sorry, you must think I'm some over emotional, insecure loser," April said with a shaky laugh.
"No I don't. I don't think that at all," he shook his head.
April smiled.
"Now c'mon. Let's go home," Jackson said as he got up and held out his hand for April to take.
But instead of getting up, April took his hand and pulled him down back onto the bed. Jackson looked at her in surprise. She smiled coyly at him and kissed him as she pushed him down on his back and got on top of him. He was surprised by her boldness, but did not protest. He let her kiss him and unbutton his shirt. Her hands pushed the fabric off of his shoulders. He involuntarily shivered when her nails raked his chest down to his stomach and she started to unbuckle his belt. When she was done with his belt, she moved on to take off her own shirt.
Were they really going to do this?
Just as he was about to say something, April's mouth came crashing back down onto his and all of his thoughts were washed away. All he could think about was the way that she was kissing him right now, with a desperate passion that left him dizzy and breathless. She trailed her lips down to his neck and he let out a low grunt. She knew exactly how to get him going.
From his neck, she moved down and left a trail of kisses down his chest, all the way down to his stomach. She stopped when she reached his pants. Her hands frantically unbuttoned them and she pulled them down and threw them onto the floor. He watched as she pulled hers off as well. Then, just as she was about to pull down his boxers, he stopped her.
"Wait, April," he panted as he raised himself up on his elbows. "Are we really gonna do this? I told you I'd wait. We don't have to this. We can wait."
"No Jackson," April shook her head as she tried to catch her breath. "I've been waiting all my life, but I don't want to wait anymore. I know that you think I blamed you for taking my virginity before, but I never blamed you. I was just mad at myself for not being able to control myself around you and I was confused at what I was feeling because you brought out this side of me that I didn't know even existed and I'd never felt like that before. But now I know exactly how I feel about you and you're it for me Jackson. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you and for some crazy reason you want to spend your life with me too, so that's all I need. We're gonna get married one day right, so why wait? I'm sick of waiting. I don't want to wait anymore. Do you?" she bit down on her lip as she waited for him to answer.
Jackson shook his head slowly, not quite able to formulate words. He grabbed April by the back of her neck and pulled her down to him. He kissed her passionately as he wrapped his arms around her. He grabbed her by the waist and flipped her on her back. Now it was his turn.
He bent down to kiss her sloppily as his hands got tangled in her hair. His moved his mouth to the side and he nibbled her ear as his hands wandered down her body. She let out a soft moan as he moved to kiss her neck. He nuzzled into the crook of her neck and breathed her in. Her smell intoxicated him.
He removed the little clothes that they had left separating them. She let out a scream when he entered her and he bent down to kiss her on the lips. He had almost forgotten how good she felt. He had missed this so much. He looked down at her and was stunned by her beauty. "You're so beautiful," he whispered into her ear.
April, in response, pushed him to the side and rolled on top of him, straddling his waist with her thighs. It was her turn to take charge now and he wasn't complaining one bit. He loved it when she took control. He found it unbelievably sexy. She positioned herself on top of him and put her small hands on his chest. It didn't take too long for her to finish and he quickly finished after her.
She collapsed onto his chest and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling the covers up to cover their bodies. He burrowed his nose into her hair and took a deep breath. "How do you always smell so good? Like strawberries and vanilla."
April giggled in response as she traced her nails along his chest. They stayed silent for awhile, just enjoying each others company.
After a moment, April propped herself on her elbow and looked into Jackson's eyes. "I have a question for you," she told him hesitantly.
Jackson stayed silent, waiting for her to continue.
"I mean, I don't wanna ruin the mood or anything. It's kind of another one of my stupid thoughts and -"
He cut her of before she could go any further, "April, you can ask me anything. What is it?"
"Why me?" she quietly asked.
"What?" he asked, not quite sure of what she was asking him.
"I mean, I know I'm not usually the type of girl that you would go for," she explained. "I'm not tall, dark, sexy, nor confident."
Jackson cocked his head in bemusement.
April continued, "And you! I mean c'mon. You're perfect. Never in a million years would I, or anyone else for that matter, have thought that you would be interested in someone like me. Much less fall in love with me! So I guess what I'm trying to ask is why did you? Why did you fall in love with me?"
Jackson pondered her question for a moment before answering. He didn't understand the fact that she found it so hard to believe that he had fallen for her. He wanted to make her feel more sure of herself because he had a million reasons as to why he had fallen in love with her. He didn't even know where to begin.
"April, to be completely honest, I don't know when or how exactly I fell in love with you. But I do know why. First of all you're my best friend. You've always been there for me and you've never cared about my name or my looks like everyone else. I love how passionate you are about the things you care about, like your work and your patients. I love how stubborn you are sometimes," he took a moment to laugh. "Whenever something gets in your head, you go for it and you don't give up. Let's see what else?" he tapped his finger to his chin. "I love that you're super smart, can make me laugh even when I'm upset, oh and you are very sexy."
April blushed.
He went on, "I love how you scrunch up your nose whenever your confused, I love how you bite your lip without even knowing it, I love how your voice gets really high whenever your angry or upset, I love your eyes, I love your smile, I love your hair - should I keep going? Because I have a million reasons as to why I fell in love with you and I could keep going for days."
April shook her head and kissed him softly on the lips as she caressed his cheek. "Thank you. You always know how to make me feel better."
He grinned. "You have no reason to thank me. I'm just telling you the truth and I wish you saw yourself the way I see you. But April, whenever there's something that's bugging you or whenever you're upset about something, just tell me ok. Don't avoid me or anything. I promise I'll understand and it will make you feel better if you just got it off you're chest. You can tell me anything. We're still best friends after all. Me and you, remember?"
April smiled, "Yeah, me and you."
After laying in bed for a while longer, they got up and got dressed.
April intertwined her fingers with Jackson's and they left the hospital hand in hand.
They couldn't be sure of what the future had in store for them, but as long as they had each other, everything would be just fine.
A/N: The End.
And there you have it everyone! The last chapter!
I just want to say thank you one more time to everyone for reading. You guys made writing this ten times more fun and you all really motivated me to become a better writer. I don't know when, but I will for sure write more Jackson/April fanfics for you guys in the future.
With all that being said, I cannot wait for season 10 to start! Only a little over a month to go before we get to see Jackson and April's journey continue. I'm so excited for them to, hopefully, finally get together. I have hope!
Anyways, thanks again! Until next time =]