by kira-nerys [email protected]

I felt something then. As if the link between us had been muted. Not cut, not severed by death, but it was not vibrantly alive as it had been only moments ago. I knew then, that something had happened. The fact that Jim was on the Enterprise B and I could not reach him worried me.

~¤)§@§(¤~

I found out much later, from a heartbroken Scotty, that Jim had been pulled out from the Enterprise B into the vacuum of space. The facts should be indisputable and yet, within me, I knew he was not dead. Perhaps it seems illogical, but it was not. If Jim had died, so would I - soon. The bond between us was the life-bond. Without it, I would not stay alive, and yet - I did. The years passed by, and I could still sense him, faintly, vaguely and not nearly enough to soothe the loneliness in my mind and in my heart.

My father speculated that it might be because I am half-human. He said that perhaps the life-bond was not fatal for me if my bond-mate died, as it would have been for a full-blooded Vulcan. I do not believe this to be true, but in time, I had to learn to live without Jim, without his presence in my mind and in my life. It was not an easy task, and he might as well have been dead.

~¤)§@§(¤~

I was on Vulcan that day. The link sprung to life with such force that I became dizzy and nauseated. Sweat broke out on my forehead and my heart was beating wildly in my side. And still it leapt with joy, for now I knew I had been correct. Jim was still alive and he needed me. I could feel his mind reaching out to me.

spock!

He was confused and disoriented. I could sense that he had no time to truly speak to me through our bond. All I know is that he was in danger and I had to go to him.

I flew up from the bed, getting dressed as I hurriedly left my bedroom. Finding my father and telling him what was going on was done in a matter of minutes, and soon I was piloting a shuttle away from Vulcan, toward the violent pull of my bond-mate's mind.

Even before I reached him I knew I was too late. I could sense his life-force draining away slowly. My mind cried out at the injustice of it all. But I had to accept it, and I set the shuttle on auto-pilot. I knew we would not see each other again in life. Therefore, I leaned back in my chair and steepled my fingers, plunging myself into a deep meditative bond, searching for his mind, searching for our last chance to be together if not in body, at least in mind.

jim

yes, spock i'm sorry

for what?

for leaving you.... there was nothing i could do to prevent it.

shhh, t'hy'la.. i know

And I did know. His memories flooded through me, pouring into me as he used his last strength to communicate through our link. I found out about the Nexus and Captain Picard and how they managed to stop Soran from destroying an entire world in his attempt to go back to the Nexus.

I felt myself weaken as we shared our thoughts and what we had experienced since we last saw each other. It was strange to find out that to him only a few days had gone by since we met, and for me... almost an entire century.

did you have a good life, spock?

What could I say?

it was empty... without you

His golden presence in my mind felt soothing as I sensed my own life-force drain away rapidly. He was dying and so was I - and yet, I was happy, for he was there with me again. If there is justice in the Universe, we will be together on the other side.

END