"Hey Canada!" Alfred shouted from the bottom of the stairs. Alfred's voice, being... Alfred s loud obnoxious, American voice, made it sound like it was coming from right beside him.

However waking the Canadian was a task best left at a safe distance. And Kuma... Kuma... something-or-other, knew this would be the best time to leave the room. Before the demon that was a tired Canadian actually got up, and rained hell down upon those whom tried to wake him. And that meant a world of pain and eternal suffering for the American at the bottom of the stairs.

"MATTIE!"

The Canadian started to grumble from under the covers, shifting slightly. Yup, time to get the fuck out-a there before he was used as an object of misplaced rage... "What the hell do you want Alfred!" Matthew shouted as Kuma jumped off the bed and hid in a corner of the room.

Matthew wasn't in the mood to deal with his... Well Matthew didn't want to use the word 'brother' at this moment in time. Especially after what he had to go through last night. It took him a good hour to catch his brother when he bolted out of the kitchen. And then another two to convince him that he wasn't trying to fatten him up, so that he could cook him up and eat him, just like the witch wanted to do in the story of Hansel and Gretel. It puzzled the hell out of Matthew as to how Alfred was able to jump to that conclusion.

Then again, Matthew didn't want to know how Alfred's brain worked. No one did.

Although, Matthew thought it must be great to be his brother. Why? Because he must wake up every day and experience every little thing as though it were the first time. And just have it be like that day after day. Alfred's world must be fucking wonderful! Then again the events of last night kinda proved otherwise. If the moronic country thought that he was going to be eaten by his brother, the it must also be terrifying. After that was it's like to live your life as though you were a five year old.

"Mattie come make breakfast! I'm hungry, and I want pancakes!" Alfred yelled.

'I'll keep the 'fatten him up and eat him' thing on the back burner till it comes in handy.' Matthew thought as he pulled his maple leaf blanket over his head and rolled over with his back now facing the door. 'At least this way i now have an idea on what to do with a body i can't hide... Well if i ever do kill some one that is... When i kill some one. It will at least be an awesome prank idea, that for sure.'

"No, Alfred. I'm sleeping. Go away, before i get out my hockey stick and beat you with them." Matthew yelled from under his covers. When no reply came, Matthew thought he was in the clear. Sighing happily to himself he tried to drift off once more into a blissful sleep. That was until Alfred finally did reply.

Alfred's reply didn't come from spoken language so much as, what sounded like pots and pans and loud banging coming from down stairs. Sounds that could only mean one of two things; 1) Some one broke into the house and was now rummaging threw Alfred's cookware, or 2) Alfred was trying to cook.

In all honesty, Matthew would have gladly taken the first thing over the latter. But no. It stood to reason that Alfred was trying to cook. And that was not allowed when Matthew was in the house. Not now, not ever. Certainly not after that last time Alfred tried to cook something. The idiot he was forced to call a brother managed to create something... that really had no description. And even if Matthew wanted to try to describe it... He knew that he wouldn't be able to. Even to this day, Matthew had very little idea of just what the hell happened and just how the hell the... thing... was created.

Matthew didn't ask any questions. Because, he REALLY didn't want to know. At all. Or ever. He just chalked it up to one of life's... or Alfred's, great mystery's.

In other words, something best left untouched.

When a loud crash sounded from the kitchen, Matthew jumped up and ran from the guest room, down the stairs, and to the kitchen. What ever the hell that was, It wasn't good. At all.

A muttering of 'oh-no' could be heard as Matthew ran into the kitchen, followed by a loud bang and an explosion.

Matthew saw what Alfred had been doing and ran out of the kitchen before hand to grab the fire extinguisher. Something, he had learned to always have in the house. In case of times like these. He made sure to have one in Alfred's house at all times. After all, it was Alfred.

With fire extinguisher in hand, Matthew ran back to the kitchen to put out the fire his brother managed to some how start. "THIS IS WHY I DON'T LET YOU TOUCH THE KITCHEN! EVER!" Matthew yelled as he pulled out the pin of the extinguisher and started to put out the flames.

"I'm sorry Mattie... But i was hungry!" Alfred whined. He was sitting on the kitchen floor scooting away from both his pissed off brother and stove that he had accidentally set ablaze.

"THEN NEXT TIME, GRAB A SNACK FROM THE CUPBOARDS AND WAIT!"

Once the Fire had been extinguished, Matthew left the kitchen to put the fire extinguisher away. He made a mental note to deal with that later. Right now though, he had an idiot in the kitchen to deal with.

While Matthew was putting away the fire extinguisher, Alfred decided to take that as an opportunity to sneak away from the storm he knew was on its way. He would probably be yelled at even more for sneaking away, but at least it would be delayed for a little while. At least, he hoped it would be. Quietly, Alfred went to his room and shut the door, locking it for extra measure. Not that it would do any good once Matt found out he was gone.

"ALFRED!"

Oh! Matt realized he was gone. Alfred could hear the stomping of his brothers feet coming towards his room. 'How the hell did he know I was in my room already?' Alfred thought to himself. knowing what was to come, Alfred dove under his bed and sent a silent pray to any and all gods that may or may not exist.

"Oh~ Alfred!" Matthew said in a sickly sweet voice. Alfred could tell that he was right out side his door. "I know you're in there... You can't hide from me brother." To add affect, and hopefully scare his brother some, Matthew started to drag his nails along the door. It was in much the same fashion Belarus did to Russia all the time. "You can't hide from me, Alfred~!"

On the other side of the door Matthew was having a hard time keeping himself from laughing. He knew Alfred was probably wetting himself right now. Having spent time with Russia, he knew just how his sister was, and picked up a few things from her, JUST so he could scare the shit out of Alfred at times like this. Some time... Being friends with crazy nations has its perks.

"You wont be able to hide from me forever, brother... I will get in." Matthew said in a low growling voice... one that sent a chill down Alfred's spine. Alfred knew Matthew was right. He couldn't hid forever. But he could damn well try! "You can't hide from the lectures! AHAHAHAHA!"

Alfred whimpered to himself. He hated it when Matthew lectured him about some thing he did. Especially when he knew he wasn't suppose to do it in the first place. Like use the kitchen when Matthew was over. Or enter a kitchen when Matthew was within a ten meter vicinity of him and the kitchen. Alfred's attempts at cooking always resulted in a lecture from his Canadian brother... As well as France. And every one else. But he wasn't the only one that wasn't allowed in the kitchen. England wasn't either. So he, at the very least, wasn't alone on this.

A sigh from the other side of the door broke the American out of his thoughts. Alfred quickly realized that Matthew had stopped his Belarus impersonation, and was probably just standing on the other side of the door.

"Fine, Alfred, you win. I give up. I'll be in the kitchen cleaning up your mess. Come out when you're done being a chicken-shit." With that the Canadian walked away.

Alfred sent thanks to whom ever had been listening to his silent prayers. Worming his way out from under his bed, Alfred got up and tip toed to the door. He wanted to make sure Matthew was truly gone away from his room before opening the door. Under the door he could make out no shadows, or feet of any kind. Next he silently pressed his ear right up against the door to see if he could hear breathing or laughter of some sort. But to no prevail.

He figured it was safe to leave his room, seeing as how there didn't seem to be any dangerous Canadians lurking around. Well ones that he could hear. As quietly as he could, Alfred opened the door slowly and stuck his head out, checking to see if Matthew was still there. Glancing to the left, He couldn't see Matthew. Looking over to the right, Was a sight he wished he hadn't seen. Well the person he didn't want to see.

To the right of him stood Matthew, looking right at him with a deadly smirk on his face. Alfred gulped as he started at his brother. Arms crossed, Matthew stared down at his brother. A part of him couldn't believe Alfred had fallen for that. The other part knew that he would by it because it was Alfred. Sooner or later Alfred would stop falling for it. But that would be no time soon.

"Hello Alfred."

"Hi... Matthew. How's it umm... How's it going?" Alfred stuttered, knowing that he had once again fallen for one of Matthews tricks. No one really knew how clever the Canadian truly was. And Alfred some times for got himself. And he was the one that was most often subjected to them.

"How many more times are you going to fall for that?" Matthew felt it was a good question. It seemed like he fell for it every visit. Every time either he was at Matthews or if Matthew was at his place.

Alfred just sighed. "I probably will never stop falling for that. Ever."

"I see. One day you might learn."

"Yeah, Hopefully."

"Key word being might."

"Jerk."

With that Matthew took to tackling his brother to the ground. The two then proceeded to wrestle. Matthew was trying to get a hold on his brother so he wouldn't run away again. Alfred, meanwhile was trying to get away from him.

The commotion the brothers were causing caught the attention of both Kumajiro and Alfred's alien friend, Tony. The two watched at the North american brothers acted like they did when they were colonies.

Tony could only shake his head as he watched the two. Kumajiro on the other hand, had a bag of chips and was sitting down and watching his owner and the loud one act like children. It was something the two had become accustomed to. At least it was entertaining.

Yeah I have a chapter for you... of... what ever the hell this is... After like what... 3 months... Am I sorry? Yes, yes I am. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia

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