Kura: Hey everybody! I made these one shots as a means to ease my writer's block... ugh...hopefully... These are actually gonna be oneshots in the Harry Potter world with the One Piece characters in them! :D

Berry: Basically, Luffy is Harry's age.

Kura: And you can guess everybody else's with that. Anyway, weirdly enough, I came up with this with my brother while we were talking about character bashing, which led to a story I read of One Piece x Harry Potter about Zoro accidently finding himself in a stare match with the Basilisk in the second book (forgot name...) to thinking of all these oneshots! XD

Berry: ...A very weird process indeed.

Kura: Anyway, I'm sure alot of my readers are angry that I stopped updating for like...a stinking year...maybe longer...but I have been having writer's block and school's been giving me a headache! Hopefully, I get back during the summer break and get tons of inspiration at Korea! XD HELL YEAH! But again, I'd like to apologize to everybody! I hope these one shots make up for it...(T^T)

Berry: You brought it on yourself.

Kura: ...Although, I might not be able to write during the beginning of June cause my dad's taking my laptop to Korea with him :P It's only for a week though...

Berry: ...Disclaimer.

Kura: Oh yeah!

DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling; One Piece belongs to Odacchi (Eiichiro Oda)

Kura: Let's start! :) I hope it's good enough!

1.1 Sorting

An eager look was on the scarred face. A straw hat sat on his head, despite the professor's strict words to take it off.

Besides him, he could hear a ginger haired boy whispering frantically about his brothers saying something about battling a troll! And as much fun as that sounded, his own brothers already told him...well...rather, the one in Ravenclaw said that it was just a stupid hat placing them in the houses.

He'd rather fight a troll.

And he thought this with a sigh, a girl behind him was whispering spells to herself in an unnatural speed.

His friend for many years was shivering besides him.

Why was that?

Oh right...he never told him that it was just a stupid hat placing them...

...Meh, whatever.

"Luffy, what do we do!? What if we really have to fight a troll!? Do trolls even exist!?" The long nose boy whispered fearfully, a look of sheer terror in his eyes.

Luffy turned to his friend and raised a brow, though this was unnoticed. Honestly, why must Usopp be so scared? Oh right, he still hasn't mentioned it. "That'd be so cool if we could fight a troll." The boy replied, daydreaming about fighting a troll...and then eating it.

Would troll meat taste good?

As he began to droll, Usopp could almost see the scene in his friend's head and he sighed. Luffy was an enigma he could never understand.

Then the two heard a scream, only for Usopp to pale when he saw the ghosts arriving. Luffy's eyes sparkled with excitement and he rushed forward, immediately bombarding them with questions.

"What're you!?"

"Are you ghosts!?"

"Can you really pass through walls!?"

"Can you poop?"

That question caught everybody off guard and Usopp merely groaned.

Luffy did have that habit to ask anything and almost anybody if they could poop...

Then suddenly, the doors opened and the dark skinned boy paled so much that his skin no longer could be called dark. Professor McGonagall had returned.

"Move along now. The Sorting Ceremony's about to start. Now form a line and follow me." She told the first years.

Besides Usopp, Luffy was just getting all wide eyed at the ceiling before he finally took his attention away from the bewildered ghosts to follow a dark haired boy with glasses in front of him. He faintly heard the bushy haired girl say something but promptly ignored it. She sounded annoying...When they stopped at the end of the hall, Luffy began to search.

"...What are you looking for?" Luffy turned to the dark haired boy to see the greenest eyes he had ever seen. They look like emeralds. Like treasure. He did like treasure.

He merely grinned his trademark grin, making the boy almost falter at the sheer sincerity behind it. "I'm looking for my big bros!"

The ginger boy blinked. "You have older brothers too?"

"Yeah, I can't find them though..." Luffy muttered, almost pouting.

The emerald eyed boy laughed a bit. The ginger boy chuckled too before he held out his hand with a small smile. "I'm Ron Weasley."

"Shishishi, Luffy D. Monkey! You can call me Luffy!"

"I'm-"

"Oh you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A smarter hat than me."

The three turned to see an old pointed wizard hat sitting on the stool, a rip near the brim like a mouth...and singing...

"You can keep your bowlers black.
Your top hats sleek and tall,
For I'm the Sorting Hat
And I can cap them all.
There's nothing hidden in your head
The Sorting Hat can't see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought to be.
You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart;
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Were they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil;
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
If you're a ready mind,
Were those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;
Or perhaps in Slytherin
You'll make your true friends,
Those cunning folk use any means
To achieve their ends.
So put me on! Don't be afraid!
And don't get in a flap!
You're in safe hands (though I have none)
For I'm a Thinking Cap!"

Usopp, Ron, and the other boy sighed, nervousness all gone. Behind, the bushy haired girl seemed to sulk, as did Luffy.

He really hoped he could fight a troll...

As the professor began calling out names, he soon began to block them out. It didn't matter, he didn't care who went to where...except for his new friends and Usopp...

However, he did hear Ron swear slightly when the bushy haired girl - Hermione...right...? - was sorted into Gryffindor.

"Monkey D. Luffy!" Luffy blinked and perked up. He was first.

He ran forward, a bit excited and sat down, took off his straw hat with such care before slamming down the hat on his head.

...Quite eager aren't you?

"Nya?" Luffy blinked and looked around. "Who's talking?" A few giggles erupted from the students.

...I'm the hat...

"Eh!? Cool! You can speak in my head!" Luffy cried, his eyes sparkling as he swung his legs forward childishly. It was like speaking to an imaginary friend! Like the one he had when he was younger! Except his mean older brother was being a jerk and said harshly that his imaginary friend didn't exist.

Stupid brother.

...You...are quite empty minded aren't you...?

"Nya? What does that mean?"

Sigh, definitely not Ravenclaw like one of your brothers. Pity. And definitely not Slytherin. Seems like you can't be sneaky to save your own skin. You can't even lie...

"H-Hey! I can!" Luffy cried, but his face was sweating.

Exactly my point. The only two houses would be Hufflepuff and Gryffindor. Hmmm, this is interesting, you have such great loyalty, so great that you would even sacrifice yourself for others! You care for that hat so much as well as the person who gave you that hat! Why, I haven't seen such loyalty from a young boy since Gol D. Roger!

"Nya? That name sounds familiar..."

But your are still quite an enigma...despite the loyalty, you are quite hardheaded aren't you? You dash into situations without thinking about the consequences, and all for others. You would make such an amazing addition for Hufflepuff!

Luffy frowned. "...I don't get it." Then he brightened. "You must be a mystery hat!" The students were close to falling to the floor, laughing. "Or you must be stupid."

...But you really are quite an idiot aren't you?

"Yeah! Hey...WAIT A SEC-"

That blunt mouth of yours and idiotic bravery that rests in you can only put you in "GRYFFINDOR!"

Then as the hat was taken off him, Luffy glared at it hotly. "You're a jerk." He said bluntly. Everybody was already falling to the floor, laughing hysterically. Usopp was laughing so hard while the rest of the first years were immensely confused. Meanwhile, the headmasters eyes continued to twinkle.

There was no reply but it seemed like Luffy could hear whatever the hat said for he cried, "Stupid hat! NYA!" Then he stuck out his tongue before pouting away. But then his pout turned to a grin when he saw an older boy with freckles laughing and waving at him.

The rest of the ceremony continued.

"Potter, Harry!"

The Hall broke into whispers. Ron looked at his glasses clad friend who seemed to flush when people saw him flinch and he slowly inched forward. Then he walked up to the stool where Professor McGonagall stood with the hat. All the professors seemed to look up when they heard his name.

One professor with black hair that almost seemed greasy narrowed his eyes but when Harry looked at him, the professor immediately turned away, as if angered if the look in his eyes said anything. Harry deflated, immediately confused.

He gulped before sitting down and the hat fell onto his head.

He was more prepared than before, especially by how Luffy acted as if the hat talked to him. Sure, he wasn't exactly sure if it seemed like it...but-

After a few seconds of silence, a voice interrupted his thoughts. Hmmm, difficult. Very difficult.

E-Eh?

Ah, you're quite smart. Talking in your head. Nobody really does that. All they do is talk softly, muttering and I can't even hear them! Of course, that Luffy boy was certainly a new experience.

Harry silently agreed.

Hmm, plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind either. There's talent, oh my goodness, yes - and a nice thirst to prove yourself, now that's interesting...So where shall I put you?

Harry gulped. He began to mentally chant. Not Slytherin...not Slytherin...

Not Slytherin, eh? Are you sure? You could be great, you know, it's all here in your hea-

"JUST HURRY UP, STUPID HAT!" Harry blinked when he heard Luffy head and peaked under the hat's brim to see Luffy frowning and glaring at him, no...the hat...? Everybody else looked bewildered and confused, choosing to stare at the first year as he was.

Although, a boy with curly dirty blonde hair in what he remembered to be the Ravenclaw House was roaring with laughter while the boy Luffy sat next to was sighing in what seemed to be slight annoyance. Except his dark eyes were gleaming with humor.

...Stupid Monkey. All of them are crazy. Especially that Garp. Then again, all people with D in their names are crazy. Just like Gol. Fine, if you're sure about this Potter, it's better be "GRYFFINDOR!"

As Harry got off the seat, he made his way to the Gryffindor table shaking while the entire table cheered. He gave a shaky smile to Luffy who was strangely still glaring at the hat as if the boy had some sort of grudge.

Just what on earth did the Hat talk about with Luffy...?

"Hey, welcome to Gryffindor." Harry looked to see an older boy with a freckled far after shaking hands with Percy the Prefect. The older boy grinned. "You'll like here in Hogwarts. Sure there's rules...but it's a pretty good place to be free." He said.

Harry blinked, slightly confused but nodded, giving his own polite smile.

"Oh, I forgot. I'm Ace D. Portagas. You've already have seemed to met my idiotic little brother, Luffy." Then a grin. "Nice to meet you oh Conqueror of the Dark Lord." He said in a teasing tone.

Besides him, Luffy giggled a bit at the nickname while Harry blushed as he heard the boy Usopp getting sorted into Hufflepuff in the background.

~OWARI~

Kura: DONE!

Berry: Hope it wasn't too bad :)

Kura: I didn't really want to put Usopp in Gryffindor, despite the fact that he too can be courageous and was to be a brave warrior...however, I think that his loyalty is one of his best points. And out of all the crew members, he's one of the...normal...ones. I suppose.

Berry: Of course, like Harry and Luffy, he would've had the debate with the hat.

Kura: No idea how to make that work though...Usopp finally choosing to be in Hufflepuff. If I can't figure it out, I'll just put him in Gryffindor. And lastly, this is how I hope to have everybody's houses!

Luffy: Gryffindor

Zoro: Slytherin

Nami: Slytherin

Sanji: Gryffindor

Usopp: Hufflepuff

Chopper: Hufflepuff

Robin (left Hogwarts already): Ravenclaw

Franky (left Hogwarts already): Gryffindor

Brook (left Hogwarts already): Hufflepuff

Kura: If everybody has a different suggestion to these houses, please do tell! I might change them, especially for Sanji, Usopp, Franky, and Brook! :D

Berry: Owari.

Kura: BYES! XD Please do review... :D